Kate Flanagan must be a cold fish, uncaring and distant, glad to have got rid of her unwanted child and now unwilling to admit that Erin even existed. Luke was right – her natural mother must be a bitch to have done what she did to her today and put her through such turmoil. She would never forgive her.
Chapter Twenty-two
NINA COULDN’T BELIEVE what that kate woman had done! Standing Erin up in a busy restaurant, leaving her to sit there for hours waiting for her to appear was cruel. Erin had built up the meeting with her natural mother and was hoping that some kind of relationship or friendship would develop between them and now this … It was heartbreaking and humiliating for her daughter to have to go through being let down by her so-called mother. Nina was fuming, and if she ever met that woman, birth mother or not, she would give her a right piece of her mind!
‘Nina, for heaven’s sake stop,’ urged Tom, who’d been listening to her continuous rant since she got off the phone with Erin. ‘Nothing you or I can do can change what has happened. Erin is an adult and no matter how much we try to protect her, she is going to have to deal with disappointments and heartaches like we all do. It’s what grown-ups do, and she’s a grown-up now even though you seem to think she’s still a little girl.’
‘She will always be our little girl and I’ll do everything in my power to protect her for as long as I’m alive and even afterwards if that’s possible!’
‘Knowing you, that will happen,’ he retorted.
‘We waited so long to be parents, Tom – don’t you remember it?’ she demanded fiercely. ‘All those tests and fertility charts and doctors and hospitals, and then getting pregnant, thinking we might have a chance … ten weeks … twelve weeks, and then miscarriages … losing another baby …’
Tom nodded slowly, his head in his hands.
‘Then there were waiting lists, and interviews and inspections and assessments, and us jumping through hoops to see if we were suitable people to adopt … Imagine trying to see if we were suitable to even be parents! I fought so hard for motherhood that I can’t help myself. That’s why you and Erin and Jack are the most important people in my life.’
‘Kids grow up, Nina,’ he smiled, cupping her face in his hands and tracing the outline of her jaw with his finger. ‘Then it will just be the two of us again. Will you mind being stuck with an old fogey like me?’
‘Less of the old, please!’ she hushed him. ‘We still have lots of good years ahead of us, Tom, lots of things to do and places to go.’
‘Nothing stays the same,’ he said gently.
‘I know that,’ she said. ‘But we have each other and the kids, and that’s what matters.’
Tom opened a bottle of wine as they sat down to eat together. Usually they went out on a Saturday or entertained friends at home, but Nina herself had been so worked up about Erin meeting her birth mother that she’d told Tom that tonight she just wanted a quiet night in. Tom had been away on business so much lately and working so hard, that a night in relaxing would do neither of them any harm. He should be winding down now, work-wise, and beginning to think of retirement instead of always trying to meet clients and being so caught up in work. The business, Harris Engineering, was a mediumsized company that Tom had set up over twenty years ago, supplying heat and water and ventilation systems to many of the big building projects around the country: offices, hospitals, shopping centres and schools. But now, with government cutbacks and lack of investment funds, the company was taking on more and more projects overseas. Sometimes Tom seemed so preoccupied that it worried her. He was pushing himself far too hard.
‘Oh, by the way, I’m over in Manchester next week,’ he said, topping up her glass.
‘You’ll be home that night?’
‘No, I’m staying over for two nights. Bit of business there.’
Nina sighed. At the moment Tom seemed always to be away or out somewhere trying to get business.
‘And I’ll probably play golf on Saturday with Frank. He’s organized for a few of us to play down in Mount Juliet, so we’ll stay over and have dinner afterwards. Do you mind?’
‘Of course not. I’ll organize to do something with Lizzie or one of my friends.’
The one thing Nina had learned about marriage over the years was to give each other space. Couples needed that if they were to survive years together and stay interested in each other. She and Tom had what she considered a good marriage, but they definitely had each developed interests of their own.
‘Is there any dessert?’ he asked.
‘Eclairs!’ she laughed. Tom had such a sweet tooth. ‘And I’ll make us some of that French filtered coffee you like before we put something on the TV.’
As she relaxed in front of the fire, Nina thought of Erin all alone in the apartment tonight. She should have insisted that she come home. As she sipped her wine she slipped off her shoes and pulled her feet up on the couch. Even though she was angry about the way Kate had treated her daughter, Nina had to admit that she was secretly relieved that the actual meeting between her daughter and her birth mother hadn’t even taken place … and she hoped it never would.
Chapter Twenty-three
IT HAD BEEN such a shit weekend that erin was actually glad to be back in the office on Monday with plenty of work to keep her busy. She’d been handed a design brief that had just come in for a new Italian children’s shop that was opening off Grafton Street, and she had also been asked to create an album cover for Lia, a young Irish folk singer. She had listened to her songs and they were amazing! And to top it all, Monika had asked her to take over working on Declan’s project, developing an overall concept for the online marketing package for a new brand of Irish foot lotions that were based on all-natural seaweed ingredients and were selling all over the world.
‘Why they all come at the same time I don’t know, but that’s the way it goes,’ shrugged Monika. ‘We sit around twiddling our thumbs for months with little or no work and then everyone wants us. Declan has got that big contract for Nua, the new green energy company, so we have to try to keep a balance with the rest of the work. Clients are like gold dust, so it’s important that we perform and keep everyone happy.’
Erin nodded. She really liked working here and would love to see the company prosper again. Declan and Monika gave their staff immense creative freedom in terms of ideas and design concepts compared to some of the other companies, and there was a huge camaraderie among the staff working for them, with none of the bitter rivalry about projects that she knew existed elsewhere. Her friend Lisa had hated the work atmosphere and constant backstabbing in her old office before she eventually quit and moved to London.
Turning on her Apple Mac, she began to play around with the shop name. She yawned, still tired and shell-shocked from what had happened.
Yesterday, despite almost a gale blowing, she’d walked the West Pier in Dun Laoghaire with her mother, Nina barely able to disguise the anger she felt about Kate while trying at the same time to be sympathetic.
‘Put it behind you now, Erin. You have made the contact. You have written to each other. She knows about you and you know about her. You are both alive and well and have very separate lives. Let that be an end to it.’ Perhaps her mum was right, she thought, as they enjoyed a bagel and coffee afterwards.
Nikki and Claire, she knew, were embarrassed and hurt for her and the way she had been treated. They had a very low opinion of Kate Flanagan now and didn’t bother trying to hide it.
‘She doesn’t deserve to be your mother, Erin, honestly she doesn’t. Forget her!’
Luke had arrived on Sunday evening with flowers, a consoling bottle of wine and a takeaway and there were none of the ‘I told you so …’ recriminations from him that she was expecting. It had been nearly midnight when he’d reluctantly finally left the apartment and gone home.
Luke had talked to his boss and it looked like the move to the London office was almost definite now.
‘Erin, this is such an opport
unity for me to transfer over there. You do realize what it will mean in career terms?’
‘Of course,’ she said, not wanting to admit she had no idea of the inner workings of the company he was always talking about.
‘I’ll be at the heart of everything in Hibernian – the London office is where all the major transactions happen. My bonus will be bigger, I’ll get a much broader experience and with any luck there’ll be far more chance of promotion, not like here where everything is on hold.’
He was excited and happy – the total opposite of what she was feeling.
‘It’ll take about six weeks or so to organize the total transfer, but I’ll be working full time in London by then.’
‘Luke, I’m so happy for you. I know that’s what you want,’ she said, kissing him.
‘Yes, but I want you there with me too, Erin. Have you heard any more about the interviews?’
‘Nothing yet,’ she replied. ‘But I’ll chase them up.’
She wasn’t going to tell him that she’d been asked to go over last Thursday for a first-round interview with a really good design company in Battersea and she had turned it down.
‘I’ll go and look at some apartments next week when I am over, try to get an idea on rents and locations. We want to be pretty central, so it’s probably going to cost a fair bit,’ he warned as he kissed her goodnight.
Erin was stunned. She didn’t want to be rushed into things; she needed time to think.
‘Couldn’t you share with some of the other guys for a bit until I know what’s happening?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, with my career … Getting a new job might not be that easy and I have a lot of projects here that I need to finish.’
‘Okay, maybe you’re right,’ he grinned, kissing her again, ‘but that’s only temporarily, until you and I get a really nice place of our own.’
Erin couldn’t even think about London now – she was much too busy. Luke was thinking about his career and she had to think about hers …
Chapter Twenty-four
NINA HAD BOOKED the cinema and organized to meet her old friend Vonnie for an early-bird meal in Bruno’s Bistro in Dun Laoghaire before heading to the cinema to see the screen version of The Dressmaker, a French book they’d both really enjoyed reading.
‘My book club loved it too, but I’m just nervous that they’ll destroy the book,’ admitted Vonnie, ‘and then no one will want to read it again.’
‘Sometimes the film works really well and brings the book to an even bigger audience,’ said Nina, who was always struck by the visual elements of everything she read. ‘Remember The Help, and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and Chocolat. They all were brilliant!’
They ordered quickly, both opting for the red wine, as the restaurant filled up with Saturday diners.
‘Thanks for asking me,’ said Vonnie. ‘It beats sitting in on my own!’
‘I’m on my own tonight too,’ laughed Nina. ‘Tom’s in Kilkenny having dinner with some friends after a golf outing.’
Nina knew how hard it was for Vonnie ever since she and her husband, Simon, had separated. It was no fun being single again at their age and trying to manage on your own. Vonnie’s life had literally fallen to pieces eighteen months ago when Simon had left her for a twenty-eight-year-old who worked in the bank with him. Vonnie was doing her best to keep things normal at home, but she was under enormous financial and emotional pressure.
Nina found herself confiding in Vonnie about Erin’s birth mother’s failure to turn up to meet her last week.
‘What kind of woman would do that to her daughter? She sounds like a right b—, if you ask me. Erin must be so upset!’
‘She is, but you know something? I’m happy that that woman is not coming back into our lives. It’s something I’ve been dreading for years,’ Nina admitted, ‘that Erin and this birth mother of hers would meet and just click and be so alike and in tune with each other that suddenly I’d become obsolete.’
‘Don’t be so stupid, Nina! You’re her mum. Nothing will change that!’ insisted Vonnie. ‘How could you even think that?’
‘I know it’s pathetic, but it’s what I was worried about and now, thank heaven, it’s not an issue any more,’ Nina said, relieved, as Vonnie filled her in on her week.
‘Simon’s so enthralled with bloody Louisa that it’s as if our three boys never existed. He suddenly wants to be young and carefree with no dependants,’ she confided. ‘He’s complaining about paying their school and college fees and the cost of keeping them. Honestly, does he think the boys are going to stop eating and growing just because he’s not around? I have to find some kind of job, Nina, I badly need the money.’
Nina felt so sorry for Vonnie. Her friend had been a stalwart over the years, generous and kind to all who knew her, and with her blonde hair and curvy figure she was absolutely gorgeous. Simon O’Neill must need his head examined to have left her for another woman.
‘Jobs are really scarce,’ said Nina, knowing well that if twenty-three-year-old college graduates couldn’t find work with all their degrees and energy and computer savvy, with the best will in the world it was going to be almost impossible for someone like Vonnie to find a job.
‘Trust Simon to go and pick the worst time in the bloody world to dump me!’
Nina burst out laughing.
‘I’m serious, Nina. I have to do something. I saw a computer course advertised in the local employment office to help people get back to work and I put my name down for it.’
‘You and computers!’
‘I know – but I just have to master all the stuff employers want nowadays. Excel and PowerPoint and CAD or whatever it is I need. The boys said they’d help me. Anyway, I’m bored sitting at home. It’ll be good for me to have to go to a class every day and meet new people.’
‘That’s wonderful, Vonnie – you’ll do great. How long does the course last?’
‘Six months, but then you can do an advanced course if you want.’
Nina was full of admiration for her. Vonnie had courage and was picking herself up and starting over again instead of feeling sorry for herself.
They both had ordered the seafood bake for their main course and shared a dessert of warm, gooey chocolate pudding and home-made ice cream afterwards, keeping an eye on the time, conscious of people waiting at the bar to get a table.
As she paid the bill and they grabbed their coats and passed along by the other tables, Nina stopped suddenly, spotting friends of theirs.
‘Hey, Nina, how are you?’
It was Frank Hennessy and his wife Brenda with their son Richard and his wife. Frank, with his bald head and big build in a tight-fitting blue-striped shirt, stood up to say hello. She introduced them to Vonnie.
‘Frank, I thought you and Tom were playing golf today,’ she said, kissing him.
‘No, Richard and I played this afternoon – he wiped the floor with his old man!’
‘Were you playing down in Kilkenny?’
‘No, not today. We stuck close to home. The two of us played out in Woodbrook. Why?’
‘Oh, I must have got mixed up. I thought Tom mentioned that he was playing with you today in Mount Juliet … My mistake – it must be someone else he was playing with,’ she said, suddenly embarrassed.
‘The cinema,’ mouthed Vonnie silently.
‘Look, we’ve got to go – we’re rushing to see a film,’ she explained as they grabbed their coats and headed outside.
Nina wondered if maybe Tom was at home and checked her phone. Nothing, no messages.
‘What’s up?’ asked Vonnie as they walked together towards the large Omniplex cinema.
‘Nothing – just me getting a bit mixed up about what Tom was doing today.’
‘You’re lucky you don’t have to worry about Tom, not like the way I was about Simon. He told me so many lies – working late, stuck at work things, weekends away with work colleagues on so-called conferences and bus
iness things. It was just one lie after another, and I never even suspected. Imagine – new suits, new shirts, new clothes, new flipping boxers and socks and aftershave, and I still didn’t twig it … I was such a fool. Alarm bells should have been ringing.’
Nina said nothing. Tom had invested in a new business suit and shirts a few months ago and dumped most of his comfy old underwear too. He was nothing like that bastard Simon, but what the hell was going on?
The cinema was packed and even though she tried to lose herself in the film, her mind was racing. Where was Tom tonight, and who was he with?
She could see Vonnie was engrossed in the story, but she was finding it hard to concentrate. She was being silly, imagining something when there was absolutely nothing going on, only that she hadn’t been listening properly to what Tom was saying … She turned her attention to the screen.
Coming home in the car, Vonnie rambled on about the film. Nina said little. Truth to tell, she had barely seen it. Vonnie asked her in for a cup of coffee. She couldn’t face going home on her own in the state she was in and was glad to sit in the cosy kitchen as her friend made her a cup of caffeine-free coffee and produced a packet of her favourite Jaffa cakes and they tried to concoct a hundred crazy ways for Vonnie O’Neill to make money quickly …
Chapter Twenty-five
NINA HAD BARELY slept a wink all night. There had been no message from Tom and even though she had been tempted to phone him and demand to know where he was, she had somehow retained her composure and done nothing. Something was going on; she had no idea what it was, but one thing she was sure of was that her husband was absolutely nothing like Simon O’Neill, who had always been a womanizer. Poor Vonnie had put up with a lot with that Romeo, and even though it was hard on her she was probably better off without him.
After getting showered and dressed, she walked down to Dalkey village, went to mass and bought the Sunday papers. There was probably a very innocent reason for her thinking Tom was in Kilkenny.
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