Paper Dolls [Book Four]

by Blythe Stone

  “Aves, the fact that you’ve been waiting for her to contact you all morning indicates that you need to talk to and be with Olivia way more than you need to talk to me right now. You guys need some time and I’d only be in the way. Plus, if I go tomorrow I can make it home in time to go to Mexico with Melinda.”

  “Uh huh,” I said. I’d heard about this Melinda girl a few times and I didn’t think she was good enough for Holland. Not that anyone really was good enough.

  “I’m not going to marry the girl, calm down with your skepticism,” she complained.

  “Okay, I’ll allow you to go as long as you call me and let me know that you’re alive while you’re gone across the border. If this Melinda chick murders you and cuts up your body I will have to kill her.”

  “You’ll allow me?!” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, your majesty.”

  “You know I’m just looking out for you,” I countered.

  “Yeah but you really are the queen now, Miss Attitude.”

  “No, Olivia is the queen. I’m just her jester.”

  “HA! She is,” Holland conceded. “But you’re more like her consort or her champion.”

  “Okay, we need to stop. I’m starting to feel like a Monty Python character and that way lies ridiculous impressions and public embarrassment.”

  The diner was full and I was starting to worry that Olivia wasn’t up yet but of course she texted me just in time. I laughed and stood up, putting a hand over my other ear and lifting the phone to call her.

  Holland just continued to drink her juice and look out the window while I talked but every once in awhile I could see her face move like she was smirking and I know I saw her eyes roll at least once.

  Once I’d hung up she focused on me. “So, we’re going back. No beach for us?”

  “Do you mind?” I fiddled with my phone, realizing how right she was about me needing to have the week with Olivia.

  “You know I don’t. Let’s go, that creepy guy in the corner keeps looking at us and I’m not about it.”

  I turned my head, trying to see who she was talking about.

  “Don’t look, you idiot!” She grabbed my arm.

  “Fine, fine!” I picked up our check and got out of the booth, feeling her follow closely. The guy must have really creeped her out. I chuckled.

  “Just pay the check,” she groaned.

  I handed over my debit card to the woman behind the counter and she rang us up. I finally saw the guy Holland was talking about, tucked in a corner. He grinned over at us, putting up a hand to wave like he knew me.

  “Okay,” I said, taking my card from the woman and signing the receipt. “You’re right.”

  “Told you,” she growled, pushing past me for the door.

  Once we were outside I busted out laughing and put an arm around her shoulder. “Only you and I could find the biggest creeper in the place.”

  Holland pouted and opened the car door, pulling away from me. “I’m pretty sure it was you he was interested in. You and you’re strangely magnetic something that people can’t leave alone.”

  I shook my head and got into the car, starting it up and backing out.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.

  “Sure, sure,” she muttered.

  We made it back to the house in ten minutes, which was good for a Saturday morning. I pulled up in my usual spot and got out, anxious to see Olivia.

  We went through the guest house and I dropped off my keys and wallet and rushed out to the pool. Holland waved me on, pointing toward the restroom.

  I stepped out to the patio and shaded my eyes from the sun. There Olivia was, looking way too hot for her own good. I walked over, enjoying the view. She was sleeping. Looking sweet and innocent with her face relaxed and her body soaking up the sun.

  I sat down on the lounge next to hers and pulled it closer. She was perfect. I pulled her book away and touched her face with my fingertips. “Hey,” I said, softly. I leaned over and kissed her. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.”

  Her forehead scrunched and she swallowed, tasting me. For whatever reason, she kept her eyes closed. I thought about just leaving her to rest. She probably needed it but I couldn’t resist running my fingers over her brow to smooth it.

  I touched her arm, soaking up the warmth on her skin from the sun. She moved a little and I pulled my hand back, uncertain if I should really wake her or not.

  Her forehead scrunched again. “Why aren’t you kissing me?” She asked, her eyes still closed.

  “Because I couldn’t decide if I should let you sleep and just watch you or if I should kiss you and wake you up.”

  She opened her eyes wearily, as soon as she saw me though she smiled. “Always kiss me,” she said earnestly.

  “Yes, I was hoping that would be your answer.” I leaned over her again and kissed her, this time lingering, after and soaking her in. I could tell she was sore by the way that she breathed and moved but she led me in, wanting me anyway and dragging the kiss out to try and keep me with her.

  “Mmmm,” I hummed. “You must have missed me or something.”

  “I never do that,” she lied, smiling.

  “Yeah, I figured.” I moved from the place I was sitting and made her make room for me, sitting in the space her body created. I could feel the heat coming off of her warm skin. It was wonderful.

  “We can go to the beach now if you want. My mom ditched me.”

  “Awww, that sucks. What? Did she do something crazy like go to work?”

  “Golf with my father and his drones. May as well be work.”

  I screwed up my face and shook my head. “Gross! That’s even worse. I’d never be able to do what your dad does.”

  I’d met a few of the men he did business with when they came over to the house, pretentious and full of it mostly.

  “What do you mean? He doesn’t do anything. He just schmoozes and acts superior and talks a bunch of talk like all the other people he makes fun of.”

  “Exactly,” I blinked and shuddered. “But yeah, we don’t have to go to the beach unless you want to. I’d understand if you just want to hang at home. I’m not set on anything except hanging out with you.”

  “You invited your friend here,” she said, making a face. “I hate to say this, because I do want to steal you and have you alone, but it should be about her right now. I don’t want her to think I’m some succubus.”

  “She doesn’t think that. She knows. She actually said the exact opposite of what you just said.” I took her hand.

  “Which is all the more reason for you to find out how she is and make this trip about her.”

  “Sometimes I hate it when you’re right,” I said, tugging at Olivia’s fingers.

  “What about other times?” She smiled, fishing.

  “Other times I’m just proud of you because you’re usually right.”

  “Ew. Boring,” she said, sitting up.

  “What? You want me to argue with you and say that I’m always right?” I shrugged. “I was just trying to not get in a fight. Letting you think you’re always right avoids conflict.”

  She rolled her eyes at me and got up. I watched her walk to a cart and pour a melted margarita.

  “My point exactly,” I teased, getting up to follow her. “Can I have one?”

  “As long as you’re not going to drive anywhere,” she said. She handed hers to me and started to pour another. “Seriously though, where’s that girl? We’re supposed to be like talking and stuff, right?”

  “She was inside. I can go check on her.”

  “No,” Olivia said, pulling me close.

  “So, you did miss me,” I said, wrapping my arm around her. “I know I was wishing you were with us or that I was in bed with you waking you up.”

  “I think you exhausted me,” she said, swallowing with a tight smile as she looked away.

  “Did I?”

  I put the glass down and pulled her around to face me.

/>   “How are you? Did I wreck you?”

  “How do you think I am?” She asked, looking down at my body as she held me back. “At one point I was certainly screaming bloody murder, did you really forget?”

  “No, I didn’t. I couldn’t ever forget that but I meant how are you up here.” I touched her forehead and then smoothed my fingers down her cheek. “I know you’re sore and achy physically.”

  As soon as I touched her forehead her eyes slowly closed and she sighed. I felt her hand come up and take mine off her face. She moved my fingers to her lips and slowly licked one.

  “I’m okay,” she said quietly. I could tell it was still sort of heavy though.

  “You shouldn’t do that,” I told her, taking my fingers away. “It only makes me want you.” I put my hands where they were safer, around her body. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here. I’ll just listen. If you don’t want to talk then I’ll just let you think on it some more.” I knew she still had some issues with her desire for pain. Just like I did with hurting her.

  “What do you want me to say?” She asked, looking up at me strangely, like maybe she just wanted me to tell her what I wanted to hear from her.

  “If you’re okay with wanting me to hurt you sometimes,” I said.

  “Oh,” she sighed. But she didn’t say more.

  She moved into me and hugged me tight with her arms around my neck.

  “I don’t know how to feel,” she said slowly.

  “You think we should ask someone?” I hated that idea but I’d do it for her, only for her.

  I felt her sort of stop breathing for a second and then pick up and pretend she hadn’t been sort of paralyzed by that thought.

  “I don’t want to,” she said.

  “Okay.” I breathed a sigh.

  “We don’t have to do that again,” she said.

  “That's up to you,” I said, pulling back to look at her. “I was okay with it but I don’t want to do anything that freaks you out.”

  “I think I want you to freak me out sometimes,” she admitted.

  “Really? I don’t want you be afraid of yourself and what you feel but I know that’s stupid. We’re always afraid of that. I just don’t want to take it too far and do something I can’t take back.”

  “I honestly don’t know what I’d do if you did,” she said.

  “Then maybe we shouldn’t do that stuff.” I didn’t need it.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice almost disappearing.

  “Baby, it’s not a big loss, believe me.” I pulled her into a hug. “In fact, it’s probably good if we don’t. I don’t even want to worry about all that stuff. I just want you.”

  She was quiet and I knew she was probably thinking things she shouldn’t. “Hey.” I made her look at me. “What’s going on?”

  I led her over to the lounges and sat her down. “Tell me.”

  “I don’t want to,” she said, shaking her head. I felt her move my hand away and sort of brace herself. “And I feel dizzy and hot,” she said, standing. She walked away to the pool and dove in.

  I watched her go, feeling the splash back from the pool hit me. “Fuck,” I muttered.

  Holland came wandering up. I saw her from my periphery.

  “What’s up?” She touched my shoulder.

  “I don’t know. I think I just freaked her out,” I said, still watching Olivia as she surfaced and swam down the pool.

  “Well, why are you sitting here? Go after her,” Holland pushed at my back.

  “Yeah, okay.” I got up and tore off my t-shirt, pushing my shorts down. I’d dressed in a suit underneath since we were supposed to be most likely going to the beach. I dove in and swam after her. She probably wanted to be alone with her thoughts but I had to make sure she was okay.

  “Hey,” I said, approaching. “Should I leave you alone?”

  “No,” Olivia said. “You’re fine.” She was acting like nothing was wrong but I knew her better.

  “What’s freaking you out, Olivia? I know you don’t want to tell me but please?” I put a hand up to grab the side of the pool. “What’s going on?”

  “Did you really invite your best friend here so you could ignore her all weekend because I don’t like being a party to that,” she said, changing the subject.

  “You’re avoiding,” I persisted. “Holland is fine. You’re not. Now, please talk to me.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this, baby. Why are you making me talk about this?” She looked like she might cry.

  I sucked in a breath and looked away. “Okay, fine, we don’t have to talk about it.”

  My eagerness to do those things last night had overshadowed my qualms. If I’d known she would feel this way I would have never asked her or gone there. I let go of the side of the pool and swam off a little, going under and coming back up.

  She was walking away, out of the water. I followed, catching up, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what I could say. She wouldn’t talk to me.

  Right next to where Holland was sitting, Olivia got comfortable, laying down on a chair. She was smart. She knew I wouldn’t push her there.

  “Ugh,” I groaned and grabbed a towel, walking back toward the guest house. Right now I felt a little crazy and I didn’t like that. Bad things happened when I felt crazy so I needed to just sit or run… I didn’t know. I didn’t want to go back out because I would see Olivia and I would start to freak out all over again.

  I made sure I wasn’t dripping before I went in and all I did was pace around, walking from room to room. This was stupid. I needed to know where it went wrong. I’d said something wrong. I always said something wrong.

  I went into the kitchen and looked out the window to where Holland and Olivia were sitting. They were talking, laughing and smiling. Olivia was so good at not showing what she was feeling inside. I lightly tapped my knuckles on the quartz counter and spun around. We needed to talk.

  I walked back to the door and then stopped before I went out. But she didn’t want to talk about it and she would hate if I pulled her away right now. She would just be pissed. But I couldn’t let this just hang over us.

  I threw the towel over my shoulder and walked back out, right up to the chair beside Olivia and sat down, leaning back and closing my eyes, determined to act just as normal as she was. I didn’t say a word, feeling like I would betray myself.

  “Are we going to the beach or what?” Holland asked me.

  “Whatever you want,” I said, keeping my eyes closed.

  “Woah, okay, what is going on with you two?”

  “Nothing,” I said.

  “Your friend likes to start fires at inopportune times,” Olivia verbally poked.

  I jerked my head to the side and opened my eyes. “I’m sorry. My fiancé likes to misunderstand me when I’m just trying to make sure she’s okay.”

  “How can I misunderstand plain words?” She asked strangely, her anger present.

  “I don’t know bu-”

  “Okay, I’m just going to go see what’s on TV. You guys come find me when you’ve worked this out,” Holland said with a chuckle. She patted both of us on the head and stepped back. “Play nice.”

  I watched her walk back toward the house and waited. I knew I was about to get reamed.

  Olivia said nothing. She had her hand on her stomach and she just laid there. I knew exactly what she was doing, she was trying to be calm.

  “You should go hangout with your friend,” she said. “She’s really not here long Avery. This is really fucked up. I don’t like feeling like I’m drama when I’m not.”

  “Whatever you think I meant wasn’t what I was saying. I love what happened last night. I think it was perfectly normal. I simply wanted to make sure that you felt the same way and maybe it was me that misunderstood you but I felt like it wasn't okay so then I felt bad, like I’d done something you didn't want.” I was ignoring her talk about Holland for now.

  “I already told you I liked
what you did. Couldn’t you tell?” She was mad.

  “Yes but I’m paranoid. I’m fucking crazy, Olivia.” I pushed the urge back to smack my hand on the chair.

  “Well, so am I, Avery?!” She sat up.

  “Then we’re fine. I’ll go get over myself.” I got up, grabbing my shirt and shorts and pulling them over my suit. I kept screwing up. No matter what I did.

  “No way!” Olivia called, standing up and actually pushing me to get me to look at her. Her eyes were squinting, trying to contain all her anger. “You don’t get to just say things to me and then walk away. What are you doing?!”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing. Getting dressed?” I really had not thought anything out past getting dressed.

  “So you think that’s it? You think we’re just fine right now?”

  “No, I don’t. I think I’m just making it worse,” I huffed and sat down again. We weren’t done. We couldn’t be until it was okay.

  “Why did you start this conversation?!” Olivia asked. She straightened up and I could tell she was stressed out.

  “I told you. I was just checking to make sure you were okay. I know you have concerns about liking the kind of thing that we did last night so I wanted to check and I guess I overreacted to what I thought you were saying.”

  “Because I don’t use plain words,” she said, stepping back and realizing, letting her own words sink in. I watched her, she was working something out in her head. Half of her anger dripped away and I could feel sadness coming to rest in its stead. “You thought I was saying I didn’t want to do that again?”

  “Yes,” I said. I swallowed hard, feeling sick.

  “Oh,” she said, shakily. “And I thought, you were saying you didn’t want to do that again,” she clarified. She paused a second, chest slowing. “I thought: I let you push me to do something I really wanted, but was terribly scared to ask for, only to have you then tell me it was horrible and it scared you and you never wanted to do that again because I’m broken and I’m a monster,” she shook, tears hanging in her eyes as she stared just right of me wanting me to know what she had thought.

  “Oh my,” I started, getting on my knees in front of her. “No, Vi, noooo. It’s the opposite. You’re no monster. I loved what we did last night. All of it. I was afraid that I was the monster.”