by Blythe Stone
I sighed, pulling down a new pair of underwear, pulling some jean shorts on over them and finding my tee shirt that stopped in my midriff.
“Olivia?” I called her.
“I’m here,” I heard her say. But I wasn’t ready.
When I turned in the direction of her voice I was assaulted by the sight of her in some very expensive looking lingerie. She leaned in on the door and stared. “Did you need something?” She asked, a glass of wine in her hand.
“Um,” I just stared. “I just wanted to know where you were.”
“Always here,” she said, staring at me, taking a sip, and then turning to go.
“Where are you going?” I was weak for her.
“I’m tired from all that driving,” she said. “I just thought I’d watch something on tv in the living room. But if you don’t want me to, I can stay.”
“Why don’t I just come with you?”
“Oh,” she said. “I wasn't disinviting you,” she said concerned. She walked close to me and ran her free hand down my side until it rest on my skin. “I always want you,” she said, moving in and kissing me, pushing her stomach into mine and her fingers deliciously onto my ribs.
“Mmmm, okay.” I kissed her back, wrapping my arm around her and taking her glass from her, sipping from it. “I’ve never seen you watching TV in this kind of attire.”
“Wow, okay,” she said, grumpily. “I guess I can change if I’m bothering you.” She walked to the closet and began to take her clothes off.
“Hey,” I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder after I put the wine glass down on the nightstand.. “I wasn’t complaining. I was just saying. You look good. Baby.” I pulled her around to face me. “Come here.”
I took her back to the bed and I sat down, pulling her between my legs. “I love you in anything but this is really nice. It makes me wish I’d never thought of this stupid bet because I want to tear these off of you.” I pulled at the waistband of the underwear.
She pushed into me generously, arching her back as she used both of her hands to squeeze at my thighs.
I nearly fell back just from the feeling of her body moving into mine. After the incident in the pool I was feeling rather unfulfilled. She leaned forward and moved her hair over one shoulder before leaning back again and letting her body lay back into mine.
“You know how much I’ve wanted you. How much I want you now?”
I touched her stomach, flexing my fingers against the need to move them down.
“How much you’ve wanted me when?” She asked. “Between the door and now?”
“Sure,” I chuckled. “No. It’s been longer than that, believe me.”
She twisted on the bed and put her knee between my legs, using a hand to push me back so that she could crawl up me and kiss me with passion, trapping me beneath her. Olivia Holbrook in a garter belt and stockings.
It wasn’t fair. She had me. I knew I could move her if I really needed or wanted to but I just surrendered and let her do whatever she wanted with me. She kissed, touched, and I responded but I didn’t make any moves of my own.
I wanted her to show me. I kept my hands in her hair or on her shoulders, not daring to go any further down. I was breathless when she started to kiss down my chest.
“I’m gonna die before tomorrow,” I gasped.
“Up to you,” she said, dragging her teeth along my chest, her nails digging to push my top down so she could steal my nipple away into her mouth and suck, looking up at me as she relished it. Her breasts looked insanely bitable in the lingerie. Some matching push up bra that made her breasts insanely irresistible.
“Pretty sure I’m done for either way.” I grabbed the comforter, pulling at it. I pulled my legs up and around her, pushing my body down. Instinct was making me desperate.
She let her body fall down on me and I felt it. Her hand went down and pushed on my shorts, thumb tucking under the hem, as her knee pushed into my center and she bit at my neck, tugging on me in one slick move.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “Did you just?” It was too much now. The feeling of her knee against me and her mouth on my neck sent me over. I pulled my arms in and let go of the comforter, grabbing her back and pushing down against her. I got every last second out of the orgasm and fell back to the bed, loose and languid.
“Mmmm,” she hummed. “Too easy,” she whispered before lifting her body back up and kissing down my body and moving back off of the bed.
She picked up her wine and drank some, crossing her legs and staring down at me lovingly.
“Psh,” I scoffed. “For you, yes.”
She rolled her eyes and walked away.
I watched her, wanting to beat my head against the wall in frustration. I’d just had a release but it wasn’t good enough. I wanted her. Addiction wasn’t something I understood till I met Olivia.
I rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom, running the water and splashing it on my face. Deep breaths calmed me but she would only wind me up again, with a glance or a touch.
It was no use. When I went into the family room she was sitting on the couch, watching TV like she said. I joined her, pulling my legs up into my body and leaning over, resting my head on her shoulder.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” she said back.
I wanted to ask her how she did it but I just watched. We were different. How we handled need and want. I didn’t want to be as practiced as her but I wanted to be able to at least not fall apart at every turn.
“What are we watching?”
“Mozart in the Jungle,” she said. “It’s cute.”
“Oh, cool.”
She wasn’t touching me. Was she showing me how good she could be? I didn’t even really know what was happening on screen I was so tuned into her every breath and movement.
“I can make you some food if you want,” she said. She wasn’t teasing me anymore. She was just serious, like something changed.
“No, that’s okay. Thanks.” I didn’t want food. I wanted to run marathons for her, win wars, or defeat my demons. Something. Anything.
I was never this quiet but I never thought this much either. It must be contagious. I licked my lips, feeling the energy building again but I kept it inside, trying to use it instead of waste it.
“I could make you something if you want though.”
“Only if you want to,” she said, her hand coming up and holding my face to her shoulder. She turned her head in and kissed my forehead. “I love you,” she crooned softly.
“I love you too,” I replied, putting my arm around her and hugging her from the side.
I said the words quiet and heavy.
My legs slipped off the couch and I turned to get up. “I’ll go see what’s in there.”
I went to the kitchen, feeling her eyes on me as I went. When she watched me it was just love from afar. Love and this intense awe and interest.
The pantry was stocked but there was nothing much fresh. The freezer had some meat in it and vegetables.
I grabbed some brown rice and beans and some broccoli from the freezer and looked around for the pots and pans. In my search through the cabinets I found the flatware and a few bowls.
The pots were in the cabinet beside the stove. I knew she was watching the show but I could feel her thinking about me or that’s what I thought it was. I let that awareness buzz in the back of my head as I made the food.
Twenty minutes and I was back with a bowl full of rice, beans and broccoli. “We’ll probably have to go to the store to get some things but this doesn’t seem too bad.” I set the napkin that I brought on her lap and put the bowl in front of her, the spoon stuck into the food.
I took her wine glass and went to the bottle she’d opened and filled it back up and poured another for myself, bringing them both back to the couch and setting hers down before I crawled up beside her.
“This looks great baby,” she said. I felt her hand touch my leg lovingly and squeeze just a small bit.
I smiled and kissed her bare shoulder, turning my head to leave my cheek on her skin. “Yeah, not bad for improvisation.”
I watched her pick up the bowl and try some. She must have been hungry. It wasn’t like me. I’d inhale food if I wanted it but she had two speeds, hungry and not hungry, and both of them were conservative in pace. She kept eating and I sipped the wine, liking how dry it was.
The flavor was good. My mind went to what I would do with it. How good it would taste off of her skin. I shut my eyes and imagined it, my mouth watering. I kept the little bit of wine in my mouth, breathing in the flavor until I was done. When I swallowed I opened my eyes to find her watching me.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” She asked, her smile twitching like she already knew.
“You.”
I smiled, tilting my head, and sucking my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I actually wasn’t trying to torture you right now,” she said. “I can go change, really.”
“Don’t,” I rest my hand on her leg. “I like it. You look good, which is the understatement of the year.”
“I’m glad I’m what you want,” she said, moving her body over my lap and laying down. Her head was on the right cushion and she left her ass on my lap.
“Me too. Otherwise this would be a strange arrangement.” I watched her, loving to see her reactions to my words always. The bruises on her ass from our spanking session reminded me of her addicting new screams.
“I’m not sure what I’d do if you didn’t want me,” she said.
I tried to imagine life after that first week if she’d changed her mind. I’d love her quietly and against my own will. I’d have gone in the opposite direction. I would have lost myself if I was sure she didn’t want me.
“I can’t imagine ever not wanting you,” she said. “I may seem calm right now but that’s because I know you want me too and that gives me perpetual strength. It always has. Especially when things seemed strange and I had doubts. There’ve been times lately when I thought you didn’t want me as much and it scared me.”
“I want you to be however you feel. I love you calm and I love you crazy and every other way. I need all of them. I've always wanted you so much. It just got more intense after the start. Even when I was distracted I wanted you. I fantasize about you in class by the way.”
“I love knowing that,” she said, her eyes flickering back at me before she rest her face on her arms and shut them to rest.
I hummed, remembering all the times. Nearly every day in Physics, usually in lit, sometimes in Calculus. “I should start writing them down and act them out for you later.”
“I like knowing when you think about me… I think that was half the problem. I just didn’t know. Then there’s the whole fear that you might not even really like me for me… That it might just be this nice package you like since you were only really present with me when we were naked or having sex for the most part. I’ve had a lot of really bad thoughts the last few months. Things I’ve been too scared to say.”
“I'm sorry I made you doubt. I don't care about a package. I love you. All of you. I'm sad that you felt that way, and that my behavior pushed you to that place. You will never know how special you are to me.”
I just smoothed her hair and thought about what it would have been like for her. I know what doubt felt like and it could terrify.
“You don't feel that way now do you?”
“Not right now but I still feel strange,” she said. “Because of what’s happened since Friday and what’s happening now. When I had thoughts like that before you knew I just remembered where we started and how and I knew I was being crazy. Just like when I had fears that maybe something was happening with Skylar. I remembered the start, how you were. I knew it was my paranoid mind and not you. I’ve had a lot I’ve tried to control in me.”
“Strange?” I tried to match the feelings she described to ones I'd had. We both had insecurities to quell. “Friday and Saturday were not kind to either of us.”
“I know baby,” she said apologetically.
“Do you still wonder about me and Skylar?”
“No,” she said, swallowing. “If I ever thought something was really happening and that you were keeping it from me I would’ve been such a mess. You would’ve known. I knew those thoughts were paranoia in me. I had fears but I thought they were irrational. When the kiss happened I was mostly mad at myself.”
“Oh, no. Because you knew about how she felt?”
“Just a lot of reasons…” She said. “I was mad for following you around and being your stupid pet. I was mad for keeping the truth from you about her. I was mad for being stupid and letting you become distant. I was mad for all kinds of reasons.”
“You shouldn’t have to be mad about those things. Well, especially me being distant. I could slap myself,” I frowned, scrunching my brows.
“I'm happy it's over. I could never care about her the way I care about you. I'm not belittling her. That's just how it is. You love who you love and I only love her as a friend.”
“You don’t have to convince me Avery. I told you. I already believed you. You’ve said that to me about five hundred times I think.”
“I know you believe me. I just still have trouble grasping how I could have been so dumb. Either she's so good at hiding her feelings that I couldn't tell or I'm just blind.”
Olivia had to kiss me so I really understood, but I wasn't always so oblivious. I knew when other people liked me.
“You were never dumb or blind. Just innocent. I really do think Skylar was scared of losing you so she never tried. And when I say that- I mean- she was scared of losing you for your sake and not hers. She thought you didn’t have anyone until me, remember? Now she kissed you. She kissed you now. The timing is important. She knew you were safe now. So there was nothing to lose anymore, don’t you see? She always cared for you. It was always about you.”
“I guess I should be thankful. Not everyone has good people that love them.”
“I just think it’s not ill-intentioned,” Olivia said, protecting her again. “I think she’s sad and she’s been sad. I think before, she wanted to be there for you more than she wanted you to know she was in love with you and that’s huge to me because what if she hadn’t been there? How much worse off would you have been when we met? That terrifies me, Avery. She had the perfect opportunity to kiss you at that other party where you were kissing everyone years ago. And she stopped herself then because she was scared too. Scared of you having no one. Even after all this, I really do feel like I owe her for being someone you could trust when you needed someone. Even if you didn’t use her.”
“I probably wouldn't be here. I would have gone somewhere after Ben. I thought about it before. I know a lot of the people I hang out with aren't exactly ideal but they helped keep me distracted.”
“What do you mean, gone somewhere?” She seemed scared.
“Before I met you. I could have gone to live with Holland if I'd really needed to. I had to take care of Mom though and I had Skylar.”
“Oh,” she said. “Sorry. For a second I thought you meant something else.”
“Like what?” I looked down at her.
“It’s not important,” she said.
“Even so. I'm curious. Pleeease?”
“Suicide,” she said simply.
“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “I couldn't do that. Not really. Even if I wanted to and I've wanted things to end in certain moments but not like that. Those feelings are temporary.”
“It just sounded that way. I’m glad you don’t have those feelings,” she said. “Sometimes you don’t say things really and I have to dig for what’s really going on.”
Olivia shifted to get up.
“I think I need a long hot bath,” she said.
“Yeah, I think I've made you into an archeologist at times.”
I watched her stand and tried not to look too weak. “Do you want to soak alone? I could
just sit with you or we could read or just talk.”
“My muscles are all sore,” she said truthfully. “I could use a full-body massage in all honesty but the bet makes me feel bad about asking you for that.” She looked down at her body. “I actually feel kinda bad for this too.” She was talking about the lingerie, motioning with her hand. “The bet’s stupid. We shouldn’t be doing it,” she seemed sad.
She picked up the wine glass and drank some more. She seemed like she was being honest now. Before with the pool and the room I could tell she’d been teasing but now she was just being herself.
I watched her put the glass down and run her fingers along the edges of her face to try and gather herself. “This is supposed to be fun and I just feel like an asshole,” she said, surprising me.
“We can stop,” I smiled faintly. “It seems silly now. I just want to have a nice vacation with you.”
“Of course,” she said.
It made her frustrated though.
She walked out of the room.
Chapter Eleven
Olivia
It seemed stupid now, what I was doing.
I finally had her all to myself and she wanted to play this game and I was letting us play.
It was the other night all over again. It was a distraction, from our real problems, and it was dangerous and it was cruel.
It couldn’t end well. I knew that but I was just remembering that now. Like an idiot.
How did this happen?!
I looked down at myself in the lingerie and felt sick and suddenly shaky. My body still hurt from the other night.
I’d bought the lingerie to surprise her… To reward her. I’d bought it months ago after Valentine’s Day when she made an off-hand comment about something like this being hot. I had it for months but it was never the right occasion. She’d been super busy and I’d been saving it.
And here I was now...
I was using it wrong...
I stumbled a bit in that realization. What a fool.
I think I’d had a bit too much wine. My hand fell to the side table that I’d accidentally hit with my knee. I had to ground myself, brace myself a moment. I had been playing a game.