Summer Ever After

by M. C. Cerny

  “I’ll make sure your car gets back to you and whatever you need from the cottage. Maddie has everything under control in Gold Beach,” I tell her, tucking my bright blue scarf around her neck a little tighter.

  “Roman.” A teary smile rests in my palm as I hold her face to mine.

  “And I want you to call me every day, not because I’m creepy, but because I want to know if you’re okay.” I let my hands slip to her shoulders and I hear the PA system again grating on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

  “Roman… I—” I’m shaking my head no, because I don’t want to hear how we’ll make it work, get through it, or call it a day. Her eyes are liquid and my fingertips collect tears, brushing them out of her eyes.

  “This is the last boarding call for Flight 437 to Los Angeles, boarding now at Gate A11.” The air buzzes around us.

  “Be safe, Hollywood, or I’m coming down there before you’re ready for me.” I kiss her wrinkled forehead, tear stained cheeks, and salty lips before turning her around and giving her a gentle spank on her rear, which has her blushing at me. I push her toward the annoyed security guard whose been watching us like a hawk since I came down to the roped off gate floor.

  She turns briefly before giving the man her ticket and he takes her bag for the scanner. It all happens too damn efficiently and I watch her get through the gate and look over her shoulder at me one last time before jogging to the boarding desk. She makes it barely in time and I wish we’d been a moment later. Selfishly, I would have wanted her to miss the flight entirely. Her braid of hair disappears through the door, bouncing off her back as the security personal shut the gate.

  I thought when I finally found love it would mean I felt good inside—whole and not ripped to shreds. Walking over to the large glass windows, I watch as her plane sits on the tarmac waiting to take off. I feel a buzzing in my pocket and slip out my phone. It’s a text from Abby.

  Abby: I love you…

  I slam my hand against the glass… looking around, checking to see if the security guard is still there, and he is, fucker. There’s no way I can run past him to the gate to pull her off the plane and drive her myself to LA or wait out the next flight that isn’t sold out. Fuck it! The security guard already looks like he wants a piece of me, so pulling any crazy shit will not work in my favor. I hold back from slamming my hand against the glass again. If she had just said it before she walked away to get on that plane… if I had given her a chance to speak… if she had only fessed up to it… I would have never let her go. Damn it.

  I look around but find myself largely ignored by the rest of the airport dwellers. “Yeah, I love you too, Hollywood, except I’m going to say it to you in person, you little chicken-shit, and then I’m really going to spank you,” I mutter, shaking my head. I don’t bother to text her back because I know she’s already turned off her phone. This is the woman who ignored her family for weeks. I know her well enough that she won’t be waiting for my response. Brat. Her plane taxis on the runway before speeding off and smoothly lifting into the air. I watch it bank gently on silver wings, circling the air space before heading in the direction of California. I plan to spank her the next time I get my hands on her so she can’t sit down for days.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ABIGAIL

  I barely make it inside the plane as they close the doors and seated passengers spare a glance in my direction pissed off that I may have been the hold up. I toss my bag in the bin above my seat with the help of a flight attendant and buckle up. The plane hasn’t reached the runway, so I reach into my pocket for my phone. I take a look and find another man clicking away on his keyboard still, uninterested in what I’m doing. The flight attendant has walked to the back of our little plane to help another person, so I look over at my phone again. Sliding my finger over the screen, I check my contacts and missed messages, but my finger hovers over Roman’s contact number.

  I could call him before we taxi down the runway... My heart beats faster with adrenaline. I don’t know what awaits me in California, except all my unresolved issues. Roman has been the only constant thing from the day I met him. I miss him from inside this metal bird about to fly away.

  My fingers scramble over the text, typing furiously, and then erasing and typing again. I feel sweat on my brow and upper lip from nervousness.

  I love you…

  Panic forces my fingers to hit send and then shut the phone off, not ready to see or hear his reply. What if he says nothing? What if he rejects how I feel about him? A million scenarios run through my head, and I wait with anticipation for the plane to roll away. I pocket my phone and lean back in my seat as far as I can go without annoying the person behind me.

  “Would you like a drink, miss?” The flight attendant comes to my seat in first-class, offering me a pillow and blanket for the short flight.

  “Thank you, yes, please. I’ll take anything with alcohol.” My chest heaves with pains and, mindlessly, I wave at her, adjusting myself in the deeply cushioned first-class seat.

  “Leaving a lover, I see.” She looks older than me and kindly winks at my request, nodding and humming to herself. I suppose she sees this sort of thing regularly. My stomach twists in knots, but this is the choice I committed to making. Coming home. Dreading home.

  She quickly returns with a napkin and a glass of white wine, pressing it into my hand. “Keep them coming.” It’s chilled, but not as cold as I feel leaving a piece of me behind in Seattle.

  The plane ride is uneventful, and even though Roman arranged for a car service, I cancel it knowing that once I texted my dad my flight information, someone of his choosing will be there to pick me up. This is where I pay a piece of my penance for leaving. Guilt puts me back into the box of expectations, and I follow the stifling rules once more.

  I get off the plane and grab my small bag of clothes. LA is still warm and muggy from the smog pollution. Slipping inside the airport bathroom, I splash cold water over my pale, drawn face. Taking the phone from my purse, hands shaking, I turn it on. Anxiety rushes through me. I know I dropped a bomb in Roman’s lap with my declaration. I have no idea how he’ll respond, and the possible rejection cuts me. No messages… the pain leaves me stranded at the bottom of a dark well of emotions, trapped. It hurts, but I’m sure my message shocked the hell out of him. Heck, it shocked me. Heading out of the airport, I text him to let him know I arrived in LA.

  Safely landed in LA. I sure didn’t miss the air pollution.

  More like I’m missing him. Desperately, I wait a full five minutes inside the terminal not wanting to see who my ride might me. When nothing dings over my phone, sadness creeps up on me, and then disappointment overwhelms me once I exit the gate and see him, the ex. Lucas’ shiny car is waiting for me at the curb. I dread having to be anywhere near him, but here it is, my reality check. I grab Roman’s duffle bag filled with my few belongings and secure it over my shoulder like a heavy rock.

  “Abs, glad you’ve finally seen reason and come back.” Lucas rushes over to me and gives me an awkward kind of hug. His hands pat my back and, thankfully, don’t wander anywhere else. The contact leaves me empty, and I know the attraction, or whatever it was before, is completely dead between us, at least on my part. I don’t know if we are supposed to be consoling each other or just confirming how shitty things have turned out.

  “More like my dad called and ordered my return.” Grunting a response, he leaves me to get back in the car, letting me stow my own bag. Nothing changes much with this guy. “How’s Leah?” I want to steer clear of any topics regarding our past and, instead, find out how my sister is faring.

  “Managing. You know how she gets.” He pulls the car out onto the highway and heads for my dad’s office downtown.

  Sighing, I looking out the window, glancing at the familiar sights along the highway. Cars zip by and my heart is heavy, missing my sailor. “You mean normally or while they’re injecting her with super bitch chemicals?” The comment is harsh, but I’m h
urting and being with my ex, who now belongs to my sister, is confusing and weird.

  “Abs, that’s not fair. The doctor’s told me she’s been masking the symptoms for a while. She didn’t get treatment right away because she didn’t think she was sick.”

  “We call that denial. Welcome to the Holliday family.” Leah is so much like my dad. I’m betting she thought she was above getting cancer because that doesn’t happen to people like us.

  He pauses and whispers, “I don’t know if she’s the same person anymore.” He looks ahead and smoothly passes by several cars, increasing the speed of his own. I’m not sure what he means by that and only seeing my traitorous sister will answers the questions threatening to overwhelm me.

  “I didn’t mean it unsympathetically.” I roll my eyes, looking out the window, filled to the brim with frustration for this unbelievably selfish man driving the car. I guess I’m one to call the kettle black, but still… “Our mom changed a bit when her treatments were in progress. I have to imagine it’s taking a similar toll on Leah from what I remember of Mom.”

  “This all kind of came crashing down on me when I left you in Gold Beach.” His fingers tap the steering wheel, and he adjusts the radio to some barely there song. It’s irritating, this poor me attitude, and I turn the dial aggressively, tuning the background music out.

  “I bet it did. Guess you figured you were moving up instead of down in the world by cashing in on whatever my sister offered you.” Bitterness is a vile creature and she has me in her clutches. The comment comes out before I can take it back, but it’s the truth, and the truth fucking cuts sometimes.

  “Oh, and thank your boyfriend for the ticket I got and the cop chasing me out of town. He’s real classy, Abs. A real fucking winner that one.” Lucas peers at me through his sunglasses. I wave him off, ignoring the comment about Roman. I can only imagine Lucas behaved like the entitled jerk he’s always been to the cop anyway. Lucas Crowley deserved what he got.

  “Really, how is Leah doing with this all?” Switching the conversation to the person with a real problem seems safer. Next time, I won’t cancel the car service, because if I could jump out of this car, I would consider it.

  “Of course she’s more… grouchy… than usual.” Both of us make a fake kind of laughing sound, knowing intrinsically my sister has to be the worst patient on the planet. Her temperament has something left to be desired under normal circumstances. “Everyone is at the office. Your dad asked me to bring you there first. Did you bring anything to change into?” Lucas stares at my casual attire I threw on when I left Roman’s boat. His lip curls as if I might embarrass him. I guess some things…make that most things, will never change with Lucas.

  “No, actually, I didn’t. I was a bit preoccupied with worry for Leah and the traveling back. I just want to get caught up and see where I’m needed most in the office.”

  “Are you sure? I could stop at one of the shops on the way? Let you borrow my credit card.” Borrow? Yeah, because I would ever consider that? No. Lucas is an idiot.

  “No, I just want today to be over with.” Reaching for my phone, I check it again. Still nothing.

  “Right, I bet that Roman guy misses you already.” He gazes at the phone in my hand, sneering. Lucas cuts off another driver, and I grab the dashboard of the car while the other car honks at us.

  “Jesus. Don’t be a dick, Lucas. I’m sure Dad has a laundry list of things he’d like for me to do today. Let’s not waste time dressing me up like a damn doll, okay?” Begrudgingly, he apologizes and nods.

  We park in the garage under my dad’s building. Grabbing the bag, I sling it over my shoulder. I will certainly be arranging another way to get home from here as I get into the sleek elevator. It is nothing like the old loft elevator in Roman’s building and my heart lurches. Damn, I miss him and it’s been mere hours. I check the phone again and look for new messages as floors slip by us going up. No messages, yet… It hurts. Did I push him away with my admission of love? Roman isn’t one to ignore things. That’s my MO, not his.

  I brace myself, stepping into the offices of Holliday, Barlow & DeWitt. Dad’s office is at the end of the hall flanked by his partners Everest Barlow and Mike DeWitt. I pass my sister’s office and find it eerily empty, the lights off and the door shut.

  “Abigail.” Just before I turn to go into my dad’s office, Everest is there hugging me. “I’m glad you’re back.” Everest has always been a stable force in my life. He and my dad attended law school together and chased after my mom until she gave in and settled on marrying Dad. Or at least, that’s how the story was always told to Leah and me every holiday dinner we shared with him. I think it’s been an unspoken sore spot for Everest, seeing as how he never married.

  He’s a large man, built like a football player, but not intimidating. Instead, his power comes from a quiet, intelligent place where he often draws on his wit instead of sarcasm and insults like my dad. A small, sick part of me wonders what life like would have been like if Mom had chosen Everest instead. What would I have done with my life if a caring, accepting man like Everest was my father?

  “I am, for now at least.” Responding, I relish the comforting physical contact from Everest. The closeness has me squinting back tears as he gently rubs my back in a parental kind of way. These kinds of hugs have been non-existent since my mother died. Her death created this chasm between all of us. It’s hard to know who the glue is that holds a family together until they’re gone.

  “I’m glad to hear it. I missed you, and even if you don’t believe it, your dad missed you too.” Snorting is my only polite response I’m capable of at the moment, and Everest gives me a good chuckle, which rumbles his chest. It’s funny, but I wish Roman were here so he could meet him, and stranger still, I don’t think of my dad first.

  A snap of the conference room door disrupts the spell. “Abigail, we have a meeting.” A cold voice penetrates the warmth of Everest’s protective arms.

  I glance behind me to see my dad. He looks worn, probably from the stress and worry. It can’t be easy for him being forced to experience feelings like every other human being on the planet. He’s dressed impeccably in a full suit, and I take in how he looks over my current state of dress.

  “There’s a spare suit in your sister’s office. Please put that on and join us when you’re ready.” Dad turns away and heads back to the conference room. No hello, no hug. I’ve been dismissed as usual.

  “He’s hurting, dear.” We both nod as if that completely explains and excuses my dad’s behavior. We’ve all accepted that’s how he is. Everest gently pushes me in the direction of Leah’s office and leaves me in the hallway.

  Lucas is absent, probably weaseling his way into the meeting just to show me up. Whatever. All I want to do was wrap things up in LA, support my sister if she’ll let me, and figure out how to make things work with Roman. Selfish of me, but when will there ever be a time for me and what I want in life? I shut the door and flick the office lights on. I’ve only been in Leah’s office a handful of times early on as an intern to drop off memos, dispositions, and files when needed. I suppose that when Lucas began to see her behind my back. He took over those duties somewhat joyfully.

  Her office is decorated in muted shades of tan and gray, as is the regular office scheme. Her law degree hangs on the wall in a large ornate frame outlined in gold and black. Mine still sits in its leather folder at my apartment. Same school, though my GPA was better, but still not good enough for the fancy frame. Leah has few other pictures hanging on the walls, mostly professional posters from the San Diego Aquarium I haven’t seen before.

  In a hurry to get this day over with, I enter her private bathroom, a perk of being my dad’s number two person, I presume, and find her spare suit hanging in the closet. A navy double-breasted jacket and skirt complete with navy suede heels, still in the box, and a spare set of pantyhose. Grabbing the pantyhose first, I toss them in the trashcan. I was doing my uptight sister a favor getting r
id of them. Abigail Holliday does not do pantyhose. I drop my clothes, ready to put the rest of the ensemble on, when the door bursts open.

  “Abs, your dad said to hur—” Lucas stands there eyeing me up and down in my lacy underwear, something I’d worn for Roman and now sadly on display for my ex. Gross. Panic has me covering my body shamefully, like I’ve done something wrong.

  “Oh, my god! Get out. Get out!” I rushed the door to slam it shut, my chest heaving with upset breaths. Holy shit, that was awkward! I lean back against the door, groaning. My face flushes red and hot with embarrassment.

  “Abigail, it’s nothing I haven’t—” I don’t let him finish that disgusting sentence.

  “Shut up! Just shut up and get out. I’ll be there in a few.” I pound the door angrily; Lucas has some balls thinking he can get away with saying that shit to me. Catching my breath, I slip the suit on, buttoning the silky blouse. As I pull the last satin covered buttoned through, my phone begins to ring.

  Roman. Finally, my voice of reason takes over. “Hey, sailor,” I answer the phone, excited to hear his voice, even if it’s only been a few hours. It feels like days given the level of stress already.

  “Hollywood.” His voice is gruff, accusing almost. “I’m coming for you as soon as I can.” He sounds angry. I don’t blame him. I continue to screw things up between us.

  Quietly, reverently, I admit, “I was hoping you would. Did you get it?” I ask about my last text. I can’t help it. He didn’t answer the phone saying it, and I’ve become a needy, shy woman with a deep wanting for this man.

  “Yeah, and because you chickened out saying it to my face, I’m going to spank you until your ass is a bright hot pink,” he growls. I’m shocked he’s more than furious, but I’m secretly warmed inside. I lean against the doorframe in the bathroom, twirling a blonde curl.