by M. C. Cerny
Roman: Good Morning, Hollywood. Expect a car waiting for you at 7 a.m. Vinnie will take you to work and wherever you need to go. He also brings coffee. xoxo
Roman is way on top of things from hundreds of miles away. Sighing, I feel special and loved by his thoughtfulness. The next message is not so much love and more like fear and loathing.
Ex-Lucas the Loser / Unfortunate Co-worker: Abs, we have a meeting at 8 a.m. Don’t be late, dress appropriately. Dad’s words, not mine, and grab me coffee on your way in at that bakery we used to go to.
Asshole.
He isn’t getting coffee, let alone as a favor from me. Shaking my head, I continue to get ready. I’ve only got a few things in my closet still, which reminds me I’ll have to find out where the rest of my crap is being stored. I find a silk pink camisole and an ivory cardigan I can wear with the navy skirt again. Works for me and it’s changed up enough I doubt any sane and reasonable person will notice.
Stepping outside my apartment, I see a man who waves me over. He’s stocky looking, wearing a slightly mussed suit. A scar mars the right side of his face, but it’s tempered with a smile. It must be Vinnie parked and waiting for me. “Good morning, Ms. Holliday. Coffee and a snack.” He hands me a cup of coffee, which looks like my favorite bakery label from around the corner and a brown paper sack.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to.” He opens the door and I get in the back of the car, setting my coffee in a cup holder.
“Mr. Winters’ orders, miss. He has a thing about distracted driving.” Vinnie shuts the door, enclosing me inside the cool car, and I open the mysterious brown paper bag, peeking inside. An avocado. Of course. I pull out the green skinned fruit, kissing it absently. Only Roman would do something so ridiculous and meaningful. I dig in my purse to text him.
Thank you.
Roman: For?
Everything. But mostly the little things.
Roman: Nothing I do is little, Hollywood. : - )
Ugh, this man…if distance made the heart grow fonder, then this simple gesture is dangerous to my state of mind while missing him. Thoughts of Roman manage to fuel me through the rest of my morning and the meeting with my dad, the partners, and Lucas.
At one, I slip out of the office and find Vinnie patiently waiting for me while reading a paper. “Where to, Ms. Holliday?” He holds the door open and I wonder how much Roman is spending on this when I get into the backseat of the car.
“My sister’s place, over on Baxter and Sixth.” Vinnie plugs the address into the car’s GPS system and pulls away from the curb. Lucas is hurrying from the building toward the car, an angry scowl covering his face.
“Hold on, miss, I don’t want to have to run the stray over.” Vinnie accelerates the car, and with a giggle I can barely suppress, we are on our way to Leah’s place.
“Thanks, Vinnie.” I turn my head back to see Lucas standing on the sidewalk cursing me. Good for him. I’m about cursed out at this point, and with traffic and his car being in the garage, I have some time before he actually follows me to Leah’s. Lucas is definitely a stray something.
“How do you know Roman, Vinnie?” I’m thumbing through files while listening to smooth sounds of jazz filter through the car speakers as he efficiently zips past cars.
“I met him at the marina in Seattle. He gave me a job when I was down on my luck, which is easier than being a longshoreman.” Well, that explains his stocky build. Vinnie obviously works hard. “I moved down here to be closer to my kids. Two of them live with the ex-Mrs.”
“So you were married once?” I can’t imagine Vinnie married, but I also don’t know a lot of people his age or my father’s still married to their original partner. An occupational hazard of lawyering I suppose.
“Yes, she was the best wife. I was blessed she put up with my nonsense for as long as she did before calling it quits. I don’t blame her though. Took me a long time to get my stuff squared away. Roman helped me with that, and I haven’t touched the stuff in years.”
I don’t ask Vinnie ‘what stuff’ he’s referring too. I assume he means drugs or alcohol. Knowing Roman did that for him just adds to how special my sailor really is deep down. “That’s wonderful, Vinnie. Don’t let Roman work you too hard driving me everywhere.” We both chuckle as the car pulls up to my sister’s condo.
“I’ll wait here for you, Ms. Holliday.” The car parks and Vinnie gets out, holding the door open for me. He helps me out and I walk up to Leah’s condo on nervous legs. I check my phone real quick, but find no messages. Knocking on the door, I wait. It feels like I am standing at the precipice and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to improve the situation.
Leah finally stands before me. “Hey, sis.” It’s lame as far as greetings go standing there in her doorway.
“Nice skirt, brat.” Leave it to Leah to find something snarky to break the ice.
“Um, yeah, thanks for the loaner.” I pluck the fabric from my thigh, she sidesteps away from the door, so I follow her in. “Listen, about yesterday, I came over, but—”
“It’s okay. Lucas told me you were here, but I really wasn’t up to guests.” Leah fusses with her coffeemaker and I follow her to the counter. I take in the physical differences from the last time I saw her. Her frailness, which has nothing to do with the latest diet fad, stabs me deep in the core. Her face looks sallow and sunken in. A scarf covers her head and I wonder what the hell went down while I was in Gold Beach. I realize those are questions I’m maybe not entitled to ask right now. It’s one thing to grow up with a sick mother, dying from cancer, but another situation all together as an adult with one’s sister. Guilt is a malingerer I can’t seem to shake.
“Here, let me do it.” Leah tries to get the coffee in the basket but it slips from her hand, spilling on the counter.
“Shit.” Cursing, she slaps her hand on the counter and I gently nudge her out of the way. She pushes me back unexpectedly before grabbing my arm to stop me from leaving. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, and all I can do is nod. I’m pretty, sure as sisters go, we both have a lot to be sorry for.
“Leah, it’s just coffee. Let me help you.” Our eyes meet and it feels like a standoff of some sort, as if relinquishing control over something as stupid as coffee is somehow conceding defeat to something much bigger and out of our control.
I clean up the coffee and prepare two mugs. I carry them to the deck and Leah follows me as we sit outside taking in the sunshine and the view from her condo. I trace the rim of my coffee cup, hoping Leah will be the first to break the silence.
“Did Dad tell you?”
I shake my head. I don’t think the man could tell me anything short of what I’m doing wrong. “No, he hasn’t said much.” I clear my throat, afraid to ask the questions I want to know.
“Well, it’s stage III breast cancer,” Leah says, staring straight ahead. I can’t imagine what it’s like to hold that kind of information inside.
“Oh, Leah.” I lean over to grip her hand, but she pulls back in chair as if my touch will make it too real to take in.
“Mom’s cancer was stage II when they found it and we lost her. I’d only found out because I thought I was pregnant.” Leah shrugs and her voice shakes in telling me. “Only I’m not. The tenderness in my breast isn’t from a baby, but a cancerous lesion.” I’m not even upset that she thought she was pregnant. None of those things matter. I don’t want to lose the only other person who is the remaining tie to my mother.
“We’re gonna beat this, Leah. You’re strong and younger than Mom was. They have new treatments available.” My brain starts to organize what has to be done. Lists of things we need to do and questions that should be asked. I don’t know why Leah is just sitting here. We’ve got work to do, but it’s all right because I’m here and I can do it for her.
“Abby.” Leah is trying to stop me, but I can’t wrap my mind around this, and the guilt of having left my family for the summer for my own selfish reasons returns.
“We
’ll make sure the treatment team is on track and follow everything the doctor says to do. I mean, God, are you supposed to even have coffee?” I stand up, grabbing her cup to take it back inside, but Leah grabs my hand to stop me, putting her cup back on the patio table.
“Abby, stop it.”
“I should be making you tea or something. Didn’t Mom drink that god-awful raspberry tea or something? Coffee is probably bad for us. We’ll go vegan for Christ’s sake.”
“Abby, enough.” She squeezes my hand and I’m forced to let her go and sit back down.
“I am so sorry I left.” The tears fill my eyes, and for one brief moment, we’re sisters the way sisters are meant to be. Crying and laughing at the same time, which makes no sense.
“I’m glad you did.” Leah shakes me a little and I turn my head, unable to follow her thoughts. “You needed to go and find out who you are and not who you should be under Dad’s thumb. And I needed you to leave so I could figure myself out.”
As I’m about to respond to her, the door inside opens and we both watch Lucas storm into the condo toward the deck. “Abby, you left a client waiting and your dad has been calling for the last hour.”
“Oh, um, sorry about that. I didn’t know I had anyone scheduled.” I realize my phone is inside on Leah’s counter still, probably blinking and buzzing. The perks of a do not disturb mode.
“Right, and had you not ran out, you would know that. Don’t worry. I covered for you and took the client. I’ll just make some lunch. Leah, babe, I’ll make you something?” Lucas leans down and kisses Leah on her cheek, pushing the scarf on her head behind her ear gently.
I can’t help but stare and again take in all the shocking changes I haven’t come to grips with while I was gone. Lucas goes back inside and Leah turns back to face me.
“I’m only kind of sorry about that.” Leah winces and shrugs, nodding back to Lucas who is preparing a late lunch for her in the kitchen.
“Don’t worry. I forgave you weeks ago for taking him off my hands.” I shrug too and we laugh out loud, causing Lucas to look up and study us suspiciously. I stay and have lunch with them, making a promise to return tomorrow since Lucas will be out at a client lunch with my dad. The rest of my day is spent roaming a few shops I used to frequent. I find a friendly sales clerk who understands American Express and I pick up a half dozen beautiful silk scarves for Leah that will be soft and pretty. Exhausted, I get back to my apartment, order some Thai food, and pick up my phone to call Roman.
ROMAN
My day is complete shit by the time I get back from the marina with a completed list of things that needed to be fixed and handled by my project manager and the builders. The supply house had screwed up the order and the engineers had deflected to the builders who went off the wrong blueprint. I swore somebody’s head was about to roll until I realized the original mistake was mine and I’ll have about a dozen apologies to make in the morning for acting like a raging asshole at the marina. I’m distracted with worry for Abby, so none of this made me feel any better.
When my phone rang, I was in the middle of a meeting with a Japanese investor who is looking to build several luxury boats. It’s a huge contract with an enormous payout, which will let me buy back the remaining loan from my investor. Flipping the ringer on silent and keeping it in my pocket, I felt like shit. I promised to call Abby back as soon as I could.
Sadly, I’m not able to call her until it’s already after 10 p.m. I’m afraid she’s asleep or busy or mad that I haven’t called to begin with. I say fuck it to myself and dial her number. It rings about three times, making me sweat before she picks up the phone.
“Roman?” a groggy voice calls my name into the receiver and it’s a balm to my storm-battered soul.
“Abigail.” My heartbeat speeds up and, obviously, it knows what it wants more than I ever did. “I miss you.”
“Miss you too, sailor. What kept you so late?”
“Work. I was at the marina fixing a problem I made all by myself, and then I had to deal with some Japanese investors looking for a small fleet of boats.”
“Ugh, sounds busy and not fun.”
“It wasn’t. Hey, did I wake you?” Hearing her voice has the stress rolling off me. She’s got more important things going on than my deal building boats. Her office schedule probably has her keeping long hours, and I worry she’s not taking care of herself, which is one of the reasons I sent Vinnie to drive her where she needs to go. The last thing she needs is to have an accident because her mind is elsewhere.
“No, I was just laying here thinking about my delinquent boyfriend,” she drawls, and I bet her sassy mouth needs something to occupy her.
“Ah, and how was your day? Did you see Leah?”
“Yes. It was… oh god, Roman. It was hard. I’m only now just kind of processing everything we talked about and how she looked. It was like seeing my mom all over again.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” There’s not much I can say, is there? “How is the diagnosis and treatment going?”
“Um, it’s stage III breast cancer. I don’t know. I’ve missed so much this summer.” And there it is…the overwhelming chasm of guilt she’s drowning herself in. “I’m just really, really worried.”
“Abby…”
“No, it’s more than that. I’m scared shitless. How do you watch someone you love go through it all over again?”
“You’ve told me how hardheaded she is. If she’s anything like you, I have no doubt she’ll get through it just fine.” I know what I’m saying is bullshit, but sometimes bullshit is all you’ve got, even the sincerest kind.
“Lucas is living with her. It’s strange.”
I really don’t want to hear about her ex-boyfriend, but this is an unusual circumstance, so I have to take my licks as they come.
“He’s not bothering you, is he?”
“No, it’s nothing like that, but he has wormed his way around my dad’s office, getting the bigger cases to work on and being all cozy with my dad. I guess he only sees me as an incompetent teenager right now.” Her sadness filters through the phone.
“Baby, I’m just a plane ride away, you know. Less than three hours to commute one way.” I’ve got the airline and Gary on speed dial to make arrangements in an instant, but I don’t tell her this.
“You’d be worth it, just so I could sleep next to you every night.”
“I should have built planes instead of boats, Hollywood.” We try to coordinate a weekend to fly and see each other, but with everything going on, we can’t pin down a date that works for several weeks, and it’s a bitter pill to swallow.
Chapter Seventeen
ABIGAIL
A Month Later
The case my dad has me working on is almost ready to resolve itself. My client spent the required time in a detox facility and here we are in court for a hearing. It’s packed with other defendants, mostly for traffic violations and a few serious drug charges. Even though this is a DUI case, it’s fairly cut and dry, or at least it should be. I’m supposed to meet my sister later for a salon appointment and this is the last thing on my agenda for today. As ironic as it is while lawyering a DUI case, I’m kind of looking forward to getting home to a nice bath and a glass or wine, all in moderation of course.
“Are you ready?” Looking over at my client, Oscar Campbell, he at least looks cleaner and smells better than the last time I saw him. He’s wearing a dark brown suit and a tan shirt with a matching tie.
“It’s now or never, you know.” He looks around the courtroom with a stoic expression and I truly feel sad for him.
“You’re license will likely get revoke, but since you’ve been attending treatment and AA meetings, we might be able to get the judge to take those things into consideration.”
“That’s very nice of you, Ms. Holliday.”
“Abby, you can call me Abby. I’m not as formal as the partners.” Shuffling more papers, I look for my legal pad to scratch notes on when the jud
ge is ready to call us forth to make his decision.
“I shouldn’t tell you this, but I was hoping I might be able to make a confession today. Clear the air, maybe my conscious. My sponsor says it will do me some good.”
“That’s admirable, but as your legal counsel, I need to advise you in the doing so, those implications could change today’s proceedings.” Smiling, I nod and go back to taking some notes and wondering if I put a bottle of my favorite Riesling in my fridge or if it is still on the counter.
“Ms. Holliday, this is something more than just making amends.”
“Abby, and really, is this more appropriate for your sponsor or a priest maybe?” I guess I’m blowing him off, but I can’t see how what he has to say will bear on today’s final hearing. “Mr. Campbell, we’re really close to completing your case.”
“But, Ms. Holliday, this has to do with a young woman I killed in an accident some years ago.” And right there, my world drops out from under me.
“The court calls Mr. Oscar Campbell to the stand.” The clerk calls the case and I stand on shaky legs, dropping my legal pad and my files to the floor.
“Your honor, I need to ask for a continuance, please.”
“Counsel, I was under the impression your client was ready to agree to a plea deal?”
“Uh, he is, yes, but you see, not today. Because today, I learned some interesting facts.” Oh, for the love of God, I sound like an idiot. I need to get both myself and my client the fuck out of here to get my bearings and figure out exactly what he meant by telling me he had killed a woman.
“Counsel, you seem a bit distracted.”
“Sick, Your Honor. Just sick, an emergency actually.” I’m pretty sure if I’m not sick, I will be soon and my face probably shows it.
“I’ll grant the continuance and adjourn the case. Please see the clerk for a new date and I expect to resolve the matter in full at that time.”