Hawke

by R. J. Lewis

  I sighed and opened the door. I climbed out and walked over to him, stopping feet from where he now stood, blankly staring ahead.

  “You got some serious road rage,” I whispered to him, my voice light. “If you’re shitty because of that young dude cutting you off, to be fair it was kind of karma.”

  His eyes moved to mine, and his lips didn’t flinch because I wasn’t funny. “I’m not feeling too good right now, Ty.”

  “I can tell.”

  He exhaled long and slow. “I’ve got that adrenaline firin’ through me. I’ve still got blood on my hands.”

  I studied him for a minute, concerned at the way he was shaking. He couldn’t keep still.

  It reminded me how I felt when he took Yuri’s life. All that adrenaline coursing through my body, and I had only witnessed it. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like on his end having to do something like that to keep me from getting hurt.

  “Is this about the man at the club?” I asked.

  His eyes fell and his nostrils flared as he gritted out, “He deserved it.”

  I nodded, understanding. This was about what Hawke did which, up until this point, I had no idea affected him so much.

  He was about to lose it again. The dark look on his face intensified. I quickly moved closer to him and took his hand into my own. I brought it to my mouth and gently laid a kiss on his calloused skin. He went stiff, surprised by my move, and looked at me.

  We said nothing for a while, but I could tell I hadn’t done much uncoiling the tension in him. Eventually, he let my hand go and returned to the car. I followed and we both slid in, not a word spoken between us.

  He didn’t start the car, just tapped his finger on the steering wheel.

  “It’s a vicious cycle,” he murmured. “I have to hurt a bad man, and then I feel riled up, and all I wanna do to forget is hurt again and…again. My head is heavy with images of the shit I’ve done. I’ve got bad blood runnin’ through me. I’ve taken from people – good people even – and I’ve played god too long. Sometimes I think I should’ve stayed in that prison, rotting away.”

  Just as he’d said that, he looked out the window and his body started to quake again. I quickly left my seat and moved over to him, settling myself over his lap before he could think of leaving again. He went stiff, surprised by my move, before he looked at me. Knees on either side of him, I relaxed my body so that we were face to face. This position made me feel small next to him, but small in a way that I liked.

  His eyes dropped to my mouth. “What’re you doing, Tyler?”

  “Distracting you,” I said.

  His face cleared a little, his anger was replaced with need. He pulled me to him, my chest hitting his. He stroked my face lightly and brushed the strands of hair behind my ears, curiously looking at me. “What did I tell you about distractions?” he asked, his voice low.

  “That you regret them after.” I paused just then, staring at him intently. “Will you regret it if I made you feel better right now?”

  His finger brushed along my bottom lip and he licked his own just then, like he was imagining the taste of me. I could see the darkness still lurking in the depths of his eyes, and I knew he needed this.

  “Honestly,” he muttered, “something sweet about you tells me I wouldn’t regret a single moment tasting you.”

  I smiled when he gripped a fistful of my hair and crashed his mouth to mine. He kissed me hard. His other hand dropped down to my overalls, and like before he unbuttoned them and slipped them down to my waist. Then he slid his hand under my shirt and found my breasts. He cupped one in his large palm and squeezed before moving to the next. I arched my back, telling him with my body that I loved what he was doing. It wasn’t like before, because this time I could feel him hardening beneath me, and he wasn’t slowing down. He wasn’t waiting for me to make the next move. He was taking me.

  His entire body shook, and he groaned as he tore his mouth from mine and buried his face in my breasts. He dragged his hands down my spine, the pressure deep as he wrapped his lips around my nipple and ravenously sucked. I moaned and grabbed a fistful of his hair, grinding myself against his hard dick.

  I wanted it out.

  Wanted it in my hand.

  I reached for his jeans when I heard the sound of a siren suddenly chirping close by. I stopped and looked up, my eyes barely registering the sight before me.

  Flashing lights.

  Red, then blue.

  I froze in his grip as he pulled away, glaring up at the rearview mirror.

  “There’s a cop car behind us,” I dumbly said, stating the obvious.

  “Yeah, I can see that,” he replied.

  “Should we make a run for it?”

  “In our race car?”

  I frowned. “I told you to take Jonny’s car.”

  “Mm, indeed you did.”

  Just then a cop approached the car, flashing his annoying fucking flashlight inside. I squinted my eyes and looked away. I made to move, but Hawke’s hand tightened around my hip, keeping me in place. The cop used his flashlight to knock on the window, and Hawke unwound it slowly, staring the cop down.

  “License and registration,” the cop ordered just then.

  “What for?” Hawke retorted.

  The cop looked between Hawke and me. “You’re not allowed to park here.”

  Hawke smirked, unconcerned. “There ain’t a sign up sayin’ that.”

  “There’s one in front of you.” The cop pointed to a no parking sign in plain view.

  Hawke chuckled. “Fuckin’ hell.”

  The cop slid his gaze to me. “You alright there?”

  I avoided looking back at him because my tits were sort of visible. Hawke’s hand was currently cupping one. In fact, he was still hard and the slightest movement made my core pulse.

  “I’m fine,” I told him.

  “Can you get off so this man can fetch his license and registration?”

  “I don’t have either,” Hawke returned, casually.

  “Then I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle –”

  “I’m not stepping out, and if you knew what was best for you, you’d turn the fuck around and go to back to your car and play cops and robbers to somebody else.”

  Cop looked mad. “Sir,” he heatedly said, “I’m going to have to ask you once again to step out of the vehicle –”

  “Name is Hawke,” he cut in sharply, narrowing his eyes at him. “And as far as I’m concerned, we’re paying you to turn the other cheek and walk back to your fuckin’ car. Word gets back to Borden that I’ve been cuffed and you’re going to disappear come morning.”

  The cop’s face fell as recognition flashed in his eyes. “Shit,” he muttered, stepping back. “Shit, I didn’t recognize you, Hawke. You can leave. I’ll tell the other boys you’re riding a red truck. I apologize.”

  He kept apologizing seven or eight more times before Hawke cut him off by turning the car on. The cop moved away and by then Hawke’s grip around my hip went loose. I moved back to my seat, with his hand copping a feel on my ass. I laughed and flicked it off as he put us back on the road with a giant smile on his face.

  “You got everyone here in Borden’s pocket?” I asked after a minute.

  “They’re in my pocket too,” Hawke replied. “I’m technically still the president, after all.”

  *

  Everything was set in stone. Hawke was going to fuck me when we got back, I was sure of it. The tension between us was thick. Every time we looked at each other, I saw the heat in his eyes. He was going to do it.

  I felt jittery, wondering how it was going to play out. Would he throw me on the bed and strip me naked? Would he go down on me and –

  My knees instinctively shut. Fuck, I needed a shower. Would he give me the time? Or would that disrupt things if I bathed? I was flushed everywhere, excitement bubbling within.

  I leaned my head against the window, trying to calm myself down. The las
t thing I expected was to be lulled by the bumps in the road, or for the ride to feel longer than it was.

  My eyes closed, and I fought – with everything inside of me – to keep them open, but it was a losing battle.

  Hawke wasn’t going to fuck me.

  Because I fell asleep.

  My stupid fucking body let me down.

  twenty

  Tyler

  He carried me inside, and I was wrapped in the woodsy scent of him. I heard him say something to Gus and then he was carrying me up the stairs and to the bedroom. He set me down in bed, and by then I’d opened my eyes just barely, my hand reaching out to his.

  “Don’t go,” I murmured, tiredly. “I don’t want to think of him.”

  “Think of who, baby?” he asked me.

  “Yuri.”

  He paused, and then pulled away. I heard his movements and moments later I felt the bed dip. He undressed me, pulling off my overalls and socks and discarding them somewhere close. Then he brought me into his bare chest and wrapped an arm around my waist, spooning me.

  I wasn’t completely asleep, but I was halfway there. I felt his kisses on my shoulder; the way he grazed my skin with his teeth sent goosebumps down my arms. I was so relaxed, sinking into him as he continued his wet kisses.

  Right before I fell into blackness, he whispered, “Whose bed are you in?”

  I licked my lips and breathed out, “Yours.”

  “Yeah,” he groaned, his hand cupping my breast. “Fuck, I like you, Ty. That’s a real problem for me.”

  I was literally too tired to respond.

  I was long gone by the time I even thought to ask why.

  *

  I had a fitful sleep. More blood, more images of Yuri, more unsettling feelings ran through me. I was weak and unable still to find a permanent way to erase that goddamn event from my mind. As a result, I thrashed in my sleep, whimpering as his lifeless face tormented me.

  “Hey,” I heard Hawke say, “I’m here, Ty. Relax.”

  Hearing his voice quieted the fears inside me. My body relaxed immediately. He tucked me back into him as he rained more kisses on me.

  There were no more nightmares after that.

  It was barely morning when I cracked my eyes open and stared at the figure standing beside the bed. I didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but the second I opened my eyes, Hawke said, “I gotta go, darlin’. Have to take care of Abram.”

  I blinked back my sadness as I gazed at his reserved face, barely visible in the darkness. “You won’t be coming around anytime soon?”

  “Not for a while.”

  I reluctantly nodded.

  He made to get closer and stopped before he did. He stared at me hard for a long moment, a fleeting conflicted look on his face before he masked it and turned.

  “Hawke,” I let out in a rush before I could stop myself.

  He turned around and looked back at me.

  My throat was too clogged up to speak, but I wanted to ask him about last night, about what we did. Understanding donned in his eyes and he moved to me and sat down on the bed. He brushed my face tenderly with his hand, stroking my cheek before running his thumb over my mouth.

  “When did you get so beautiful?” he whispered under his breath, the same question he’d asked aloud before.

  I kissed his thumb, my breath thinning as I watched his reaction. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, his chest rising and falling faster. When I kissed his thumb again, I slipped my tongue out and lightly brushed it against his skin.

  He opened his eyes and they looked feral as he growled, “Don’t tempt me, Ty. You don’t want to see that side of me. I am not soft, you understand? I take, and I take hard.”

  Chills ran down my spine, and I felt a deep tightening in my core. I kept waiting for him to back away, but he didn’t remove his hand. He kept it there, watching me with sick fascination for what I might do next.

  I considered his warning, but frankly, I didn’t give a fuck about it. I opened my mouth and wrapped it around his thumb, sucking it gently. His breathing stopped, and he ripped his hand from my hold and before I knew what was happening, his mouth descended over mine. He kissed me roughly, tasting my tongue and lips in a mad, abrupt rush. His arms came around me, squeezing me to his chest as he deepened the kiss, consuming me. I felt his erection against my thigh, felt the need in his mouth.

  I moaned and the sound spurred him on. His hands shoved my legs apart and he rubbed my pussy through my panties, causing me to jolt beneath him. I didn’t know until later that I was begging him to fuck me, to put me out of my misery, or that I was particularly vocal about it.

  I could feel how pent up he was. His self-control was weaning, his hand gripped my hair and he pulled at it sharply, angling my head so that my mouth remained on his as he settled himself between my legs. Every inch of me was on fire. My hand grabbed at the collar of his shirt, keeping him near me in case he pulled away.

  I was beyond turned on.

  Wanting to come came second to breathing.

  It was vital.

  Completely necessary.

  Animalistic, really.

  Hawke felt the same way. He was wound up tight, needing inside me with a fury.

  He pulled away just enough to slide my underwear off. I was completely spread open to him, and if it’d been lighter in the room, he’d see how wet and glistening I was for him.

  My hands immediately flew to the buttons of his jeans, and they were shaky and unsmooth. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. This was Hawke, not some high school moron I didn’t care about impressing. My heart was in my throat the entire time I unbuttoned him, and the second it was undone, he tore them off.

  This was seriously happening.

  Or I was dead and in hell.

  Because heaven couldn’t be this cool.

  He kissed me again, languidly this time as I felt something hard prod my sensitive flesh. I moaned against his mouth, my hands clenched tight around his shoulders as he ran the tip of his cock along my slit, lightly brushing against the bundle of nerves that had me seizing in bed.

  “You’re gushing,” he said, his voice in awe. “Fuck, Ty, I love that you want me this bad.”

  I shut my eyes, anxiously waiting for him to slip inside me, but he rubbed his cock along me for a while, watching my reaction closely.

  “Take your top off,” he demanded.

  I slid it over my head and threw it aimlessly on the floor.

  “Cup your tits.”

  I did, and he leaned down and sucked at one nipple before moving to the other. All the while, he continued his torment, until my throat was dry from breathing so hard. It was alright, though, because along the way I discarded his shirt too and ran my hands down his ridiculously impressive torso.

  “You’re so hot,” I told him, unable to keep my mouth shut. “I fucking want you, Hawke.”

  This time the words didn’t make him angry. Impossibly, his dick hardened against me. He dropped back down and kissed me again, possessing my mouth with the harsh and rhythmic strokes of his tongue. Then he gripped my thighs, digging his nails as he spread me wider.

  “Hold me tight, Tyler,” he told me tightly.

  I gripped him as hard as possible and closed my eyes.

  “No, look at me, baby.”

  I opened them and peered into his eyes. I wished the lights were on so I could see the need in them.

  He rocked into me, the head of his length pushing into me slowly. I felt myself stretching around him, and it took a couple minutes just to get him wet enough to slide in. The anticipation was brutal. Neither of us were breathing right.

  I felt like a virgin all over again, and I may as well have been because, fuuuck, he was thick. How bloody big was he? I tried to raise my head to get a better look because he was still moving in. The sensation was almost unbearable and so ridiculously foreign.

  I knew he was deliberately being slow, savoring the sensation with drunken eyes.
Inch after inch, he filled me, and I was so sensitive for waiting, the feeling was absolutely explosive. Grabbing at my breast with his other hand, he continued to guide himself back and forth, filling me one minute, emptying me the next.

  My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he continued. My walls clenched him tightly, sparks shot through me.

  As my body molded to his cock, he started to move faster, driving his cock deeper and harder inside of me. They were controlled movements at first, like he was testing the waters, watching how I would react. I thrashed beneath him, moaning louder, the pleasure growing.

  He wasn’t wrong about warning me.

  He took hard.

  His hand caught in my hair, forcing my face in place as he thrust inside me. His other hand wrapped around my ass, gripping it. He grunted, cursing under his breath, telling me how good I felt.

  The headboard slammed against the wall.

  Repeatedly.

  I was sure the plaster was coming off.

  My hands slid down his back, past his tattoo I wish I could see, and I gripped his ass as he drove inside me, rubbing against my clit along the way.

  I exploded so suddenly, my body not expecting the unrestrained pleasure soaring through me. I cried out, and he swallowed my cries with his mouth, groaning back as he continued to move roughly inside me.

  “I felt that, Ty,” he gritted out as he moved.

  He didn’t fucking stop.

  And it was so good, I couldn’t bear it.

  He kept pounding into me, spreading my legs impossibly wide and pulling his chest away from mine so he could watch himself disappear inside me.

  “Oh, my god, Hawke, don’t stop!” I begged. “Please, like that. More, Hawke.”

  His dick was slick with my come. I watched his lips press down hard as his pleasure began to climb. His thumb moved between us, rubbing at my clit, forcing more sparks to build.

  It was almost too much.

  I cried out again as he forced another orgasm through me.

  “Fuck, Tyler,” he growled, thrusting in one last time.

  I felt him pulse within me and his body shook through his release as he filled me with his come. He collapsed over me, his chest rising and falling fast. He stayed inside me a while, his forehead against mine, as he muttered in agony, “Fuckin’ hell, Tyler.”