by Angela White
Marc patted the frozen log next to him. “We’ll take ten now and make it up later.”
I pretended not to know that we would have to make it up on our next visit. The sun was sinking faster.
“Okay.”
“I think Mary has been sabotaging our family.”
Marc rarely ever spoke about his mother and all my personal drama vanished for a minute as I dropped down next to him with my mouth open. “What? No way!”
“The business is a scam,” Marc stated, taking out a pack of Winston’s. “She’s been sending people away, splitting us up. Did you notice how few people are still here?”
I hadn’t. “No. I...” It clicked in place easily when I thought about it. “Wow. Not many!”
“Exactly. Remember the first Christmas party, when you sat in the chair?”
I nodded, hiding an automatic wince and need to rub my butt. That chair was yearly a memory maker.
“We had at least fifty people here. Same for my sister’s wedding. Now, think about how many were at our last gathering.”
“Less than a dozen,” I quickly added up.
“Yes. She’s sending us all away. I haven’t figured out why.”
I wasn’t able to help him there and I remained silent, able to feel him thinking on it. I didn’t know Mary as well as he did, though I thought I might hate her as much.
“Judy is going to lose the farm,” Marc told me. “With no one to work, she can’t take care of it.”
“No new kids,” I realized. If the parents were being sent away, so were the children. “Maybe that’s why. Your mom never has liked your aunt.”
Marc studied me in surprise. “Since when?”
I understood that Marc didn’t know, and quickly told him about a recent conversation I’d had with Patty.
“Judy was supposed to marry your dad. Judy’s marriage was changed and she got Larry, who was supposed to be with your mom.”
“They switched husbands?” Marc asked, scowling deeply.
“No,” I corrected him, unable to keep the bitterness from my tone. “They switched wives.”
Marc
“Are you going to confront her?”
Angie’s question brought me back from the daze that I’d been in since hearing those words. It explained so much!
“Maybe. I have to think about it first.”
“Be careful,” Angie warned. “It feels bad now.”
I agreed. Even before I’d told my mother, it was as if we were never alone anymore. I suspected the scientists still crawling around our neighborhood had something to do with that feeling, but we’d broken so many of the rules now that it was hard not to jump at every shadow–whether anyone was there or not.
“I’m glad you’re staying!” Angie gushed again, elated.
I’d only told her the basics of the deal. Angie didn’t need to know that I might actually give up my dreams for her. That was too much weight for a teenager to handle.
“I’m not letting her send me away,” I repeated. “I don’t want to sell cars or run a pawn shop. I’m still going into the Marines after we...”
Angie paled, but to her credit, she didn’t voice a single protest. I knew she was dreading the time we would have to be apart once I enlisted.
Angie shifted unhappily on her seat, kicking at a log about to fall from our fire. Now that the clubhouse was finished, we were tweaking things. We’d moved the fire a bit, so that there was still some warmth even if we wanted to outside. I studied her as she held her hands out to the flames, wondering what she was thinking. “Will my being gone in the service be any different than what we have now?”
“No,” Angie answered. Her voice trembled as she added, “Except... Things are bad for me, Marc. Really bad, and...I may not wait for you to get out. I may run on my own.”
I studied her in dismayed surprise, and let the first thing that came to mind pass through my lips.
“You’ll say anything to keep me here. Just like my mother.”
I wanted to pull it back, but of course, I couldn’t.
Angie crumbled. Her mouth opened, eyes filling with tears. Then she fled toward the woods.
Knowing I’d hurt her so bad that she wouldn’t even fight made my stomach cramp.
I’m sorry! I tried to send, but she didn’t answer. I thought about following, but when Angie didn’t want to be found, she wasn’t.
I settled for kicking things around our campsite for the next ten minutes, cursing myself.
Chapter Twenty-One
Angie
I couldn’t believe he’d said that to me. It triggered every insecurity I had, including the secret fear that I’d dumped myself on Marc a long time ago and demanded he love me. He hadn’t really been given a choice. I’d always feared that would come back to haunt me and now, it had.
I considered a lot of reactions, most of them based on my hurt feelings, but then I’d come to a piece of wisdom that made sense. If Marc thought I was holding him here, then I needed to stay away and let him make his own choices about us now. If he loved me, wanted to be with me, then he wouldn’t let my anger keep us apart. If he actually wanted to be free, then this was his way out. I wouldn’t hound him or make him deal with an ugly scene. As far as I was concerned, we were broken up. If he didn’t want it to be that way, he would do something about it.
In order to keep myself from going to our meeting places and balling like a baby every day, I started a new pattern of behavior. At first, I watched movies. I spent the next weeks engrossed in all the films on Georgie’s adult shelf. When that distraction ran out, I went to Patty, hoping she might have a few books to get me through Valentine’s Day. I immediately wished that I’d come sooner.
“I’m closing down. This was my last day in business. I’m glad you came by.”
Patty’s words dropped fear and pain into my heart. “What?”
“I’m being sent away.”
“Why?” I asked, stunned once again.
“They have a great home picked out for me,” Patty continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Wonder how long they’ll pay that bill before they find out I’m in Hawaii, sucking down drinks on the beach?”
I tried to think around the pain. “Can you afford that?”
Patty gave me a short smile, silver hair and golden scarves still a striking contrast. “I did very well at auction. I should be able to open a small book stand with what’s left. I only need to rent a single room.
“That sounds lonely,” I commented, already bleeding inside.
“Yes, it will be,” Patty agreed, coming over to me.
“I’ve grown very fond of you, my dear. But you’re not going to stay, are you?”
I hadn’t thought of what would become of Patty when Marc and I ran away.
“No.”
“Then my leaving is a blessing, child. I won’t be left here, alone. Don’t begrudge me that happiness. I’ve wished the same for you over these many years.”
That made it easier to hug her and then walk away from the only place where I’d ever felt wanted. I even did it without crying, mostly because I honestly did want Patty to be happy and this was her chance. She was excited to be going. I didn’t want to take that away from her. Patty’s biggest regret was how many of her books and personal items that she couldn’t take. She said I could have whatever I wanted after she was gone, but I already knew the memories were what I would cling to.
My tears came a short while later, muffled by the blankets and the latest fight between Frona and Georgie. What would I do without Patty?
She was gone a few days later.
The same kids who had ignored Patty for years came to search for any valuables she might have left behind. They also trashed the place.
I was doing my shift at the diner when their BMW pulled in, but even if I’d been free, I couldn’t have stopped them. Over the years that we’d been friends, I’d gathered enough of Patty’s odd comments and slips about her past to have an idea of what had happ
ened. Patty’s husband had gone missing from work one night. She thought he’d run away, like Marc’s dad. Her kids thought she had paid the Brady’s to get rid of him, since he liked to smack her and drink. They’d had a huge fight where the family split. Patty had stayed here. The kids took their father’s insurance payment from Fernald and set up a business in the city. Neither side had made a move to talk to each other for more than two decades. Until now.
I knew in my heart who was responsible for that. Mother Brady had threatened Patty not that long ago. Now, she’d followed through.
As soon as my shift finished, I rushed over, but I got to the shop right as Mary and the realtor arrived. I lingered in the doorway to listen. There was no point in acting as if I hadn’t known Patty, but I also didn’t need Mary understanding how much sneaking I’d been doing. If she asked, I planned to say I thought I was allowed to be here since I had worked for Patty. Sweeping sidewalks wouldn’t count as a real job. I knew that now, but I was going to use it anyway.
“We’ll clean it up first, of course,” the realtor stated, nose curled. “These gypsies don’t care about cleanliness.”
Steam came from my ears, but I knew better than to tell them that Patty’s kids had left the mess.
“I’ll have the papers ready in a few days, Ms. Brady,” the realtor gushed as Mary scanned the possession-strewn apartment. As usual, she was wearing her black robes and pearls. She appeared almost normal until you caught a glimpse of the fanatic lurking behind those fading blue eyes.
“Fine. Bring it to my home.”
I wondered what type of shop mother Brady was planning to replace Patty’s store with. Injustice filled my mind with several ugly shouts that I held in. After they left, I might have a few minutes alone to mourn.
Mary turned, catching sight of me in the shop’s dusty doorway. Her lips flattened into a thin line that warned my presence here wasn’t welcome. Like I don’t know that.
Maybe it was the droop to my shoulders or the refusal to back down on my face that made her sweep by me without speaking. She knew I’d lost. She had the class not to rub it in. I hated her even more.
The realtor hurried after her best client, falling over herself to make sure she stayed in Mary’s good graces. I could have told her she wasn’t going to achieve that high goal. The realtor’s short skirt and red blouse were merely tolerated because the woman was employed by someone that wasn’t yet beholden to my awful relative. As soon as Mary secured that grip, the realtor would be forced to dress, talk, and act like everyone else in the cult that was our family. I’d witnessed it too many times to have hope for the happily bubbling woman holding Mary’s car door while she climbed in. The woman would eventually be broken, just like the rest of us.
I entered the shop slowly. As I let the memories rush over me, the sun started to sink, throwing deep purple shadows across the apartment. She’d only been gone a little while, but I already felt lost. Patty had tried to prepare me for being alone, but nothing could have helped ease this pain, this gaping hole where she’d existed for me. Mother Brady had once again taken something I loved, something I needed to be happy, and replaced it with nothingness.
I found my way home a short time later, too tired and depressed to cry. I didn’t answer my mom’s shouts of outrage because I’d forgotten her beer. I collapsed in my bed and let sleep carry me into a world where I made the choices that directed the future.
March brought our town the first ever Boil Water Advisory. Over the last year, we’d almost forgotten about the poisons in our water, land, and air. Panic hit again and every store ran out of water the same day. It made shifts at the diner harder. Without Georgie there to keep things under control, my mom quickly got in over her head. I tried to help keep things straight, but I had school during the day. I walked into a mess each afternoon and spent the rest of the evening trying to fix it. On the good side, it kept me too busy and too tired to mourn Patty or Marc. I’d wondered if Georgie was home after seeing Mary, but she’d left him there to oversee things. I was glad for that, but if Georgie came home from his trip and found out business in his diner was down by half, he would snap. I worked hard to make sure that didn’t happen, pulling eighteen-hour days while my mom sat in the rear of the restaurant and nursed vodka. I hated her during those times.
She didn’t notice.
The boil advisory lasted for two days. Then the din calmed and we once again returned to ignoring our problems in hopes that they would go away.
The spring of 1997 saw other changes that hit me hard. Thanks to mother Brady’s constant complaints, big city inspectors had come to Stricker’s Grove. They’d sent three employees home for being underage and now the rides themselves were being examined for flaws and poor maintenance before the spring opening that the owners would miss this year. The park was shut down until it proved compliant.
The drive-in was also closing, thanks to poor attendance after the rape report that the police hadn’t found enough evidence to agree had happened. The girl was a known flirt, but I doubted she was lying, considering that she was transferring schools next week and her parents had put their trailer up for sale.
To add more weight and grief, Daniel was also moving. His father was deep in debt to Mary and she was sending them all west to run a small carnival where Daniel’s bike tricks would pay off. Daniel was ecstatic about it. I was sad he would be leaving, but we couldn’t see each other anywhere except for school anyway. I hoped Daniel would be happy. He was getting what all of the kids in this shitty little neighborhood wanted–to be free.
I wasn’t there with the other kids to gawk as Daniel and his family loaded their U-Haul truck. I was lying in my bed with the worst cold of my life, listening to my mom swear over something in one of her books while I shivered and heaved. As soon as I got sick, she’d shut down the diner and fell into her stash of bottles. I still couldn’t figure out why Frona hadn’t just jabbed a coat hanger in herself when she’d found out she was pregnant with me.
As the cold got worse and Frona got drunker, I began to hope that I would die. I didn’t have a reason to fight anymore. Patty and Daniel were gone. Marc hadn’t tried to get in touch. When Georgie came home, he would start abuse me again. My life was awful. If death was the only relief I could get, I wanted it.
Marc
“What are you doing out here in this weather?”
I didn’t move, barely feeling the icy rain. “Thinking.”
Mary sighed, stepping outside, but only as far as the covered porch. I was on the bottom step, studying her muddy rose bushes. I’d done a good job of bringing them back after running them over.
“Thinking about what, Marcus?”
Her tone said she was annoyed.
“About digging up your rose bushes with my bare hands. I need to destroy something.”
“And why would I be the recipient of such actions?” Mary asked sharply.
“Because you always get what you want. I hate that.”
“Is this over that whore?”
She knew to shut up when I spun around to glare. I must have been a sight because my mother threw her arms up and heaved a weary sigh. “Fine! Come in and clean up. I’ll see what I can do.”
Not soothed, I turned back to those rose bushes. They represented the tenacious growth sucking the life out of me.
Mary shut the screen door with a loud snap. “By all means, Marcus. Continue this melancholy behavior. Destroy my property. Just don’t forget that you leave in December and nothing will change that. We have a deal in place.”
Didn’t she know that was part of why I was tormented? Angie had already wasted two months of our time together.
Yes, of course Mary knew. She was merely trying to save her roses.
I came in a few minutes later, not covered in mud, but wishing that I was.
Mary was waiting for me in the chair by the phone.
“She’s ill.”
I immediately felt bad for blaming Angie. “I hadn’t heard t
hat.”
“I suppose you have to visit her, right?”
Surprised, I nodded.
Mary sighed unhappily. “We’re going to make a sick call. We leave in one hour. Get cleaned up.”
“I don’t need an hour to–”
“Well, I do!” Mary snapped. “I loathe that woman, Marcus. You have no idea.”
“Because she stole my dad from you?”
“No!” Mary’s expression filled with rage as she shoved away from the table, snarling, “Because she locked away what I wanted!”
“I don’t understand,” I said, frowning. Where did that piece fit?
Mary calmed down, face going blank. “Get dressed and do it now before I change my mind.”
I hurried, getting a shower so that I wouldn’t carry any dirt to Angie. As I scrubbed, I realized my mother must have a lot of faith in my skills as a leader to allow me to put her through this. Even Georgie didn’t have power over her anymore. Only I did, and the feeling was strange. I would be careful not to abuse it very often. At least, not until I was officially in charge. Then, my mother had a number of surprises coming–one for every year she had kept me from being with Angie.
“What are we telling her mom?”
Mary tapped the driver’s seat so that Douglas would get the car moving.
“Nothing, of course. This is a family visit.”
I snorted. “You’ve never treated Angie like family.”
Mary frowned, fastening her seatbelt. “I have it covered. Try to act normal.”
I started to tell her how good I was at hiding things, and stopped. I needed to let Mary think she was teaching me some of this stuff. If she knew what I was already capable of, my plans would be in danger.
“When we arrive, stay quiet and by my side,” Mary instructed. “You understand?”
“Yes, but this wasn’t what I meant by-”
“I know what you want, you ungrateful child!” Mary snapped. “Be quiet.”
I did as ordered by falling into a glassy-eyed stare of rebellion that I happened to know drove her crazy. I wasn’t sure why I was pushing her this way, but it was getting me what I needed and I didn’t stop. Telling her the truth was out of the question. My mother didn’t know that Angie and I had been fighting or she might have refused to do this.