by Angela White
Walking by Patty’s empty shop on the way to work every day was fresh pain. She’d been gone for a while, but I still missed our nights of cookies and talking. I needed her more now than I ever had. With my parents at home, Marc had to stay away and I’d gotten used to having him close! Now, we had to sneak again, but he didn’t have as much free time as he had before. He had to attend meetings with his mother in preparation for his trip. He was leaving right after the Christmas gathering, to be gone for eighteen months. I knew it still bothered him that he wasn’t getting to join the Marines. I wished we could do it a different way. I wanted him to have his dreams and I didn’t want him to get deeper into the Brady mess. Someday, this house of evil cards would fall and he would get in trouble.
I tried not to think about what would happen if he chose to run his family and left me here for all of that time. He had promised to call and tell me his decision as soon as he made it, and then I would make mine. I planned to tell Marc everything if I had to–Georgie’s past abuses, the coming rape, all of it. And then I would tell him that I wasn’t going to wait. I prayed he chose me. I didn’t trust Mary at all. Making deals with her would hurt us. I didn’t care that it had gotten us all these months together. The woman was a snake, and snakes always ended up biting whoever trusted them.
My dangerous restlessness returned with my fear of the nights. After Georgie’s first ‘I’ve missed you!’ visit, it wasn’t hard to fall back into the old terrors and depression. Marc noticed, but he couldn’t help me until he made a career choice and I aged at least one more year. I tried hard to suffer in silence, but some days, that was impossible.
I delivered the tray to the front table, trying not to stare at Tracy’s black and green cheek. Her new boyfriend (Mary’s choice again) hadn’t cared for how much noise she and the baby had been making. I heard her whisper that Roy liked it quiet in the mornings and wondered again if Marc would end up being like his family. His sister didn’t protest being beaten on. His brothers were odd fellows with strange jokes that I didn’t understand when they came in. His cousins were pure trouble. They were both on the farm right now, but the family gossip said they were about to go to jail for a recent robbery in a nearby town. Marc’s uncles were all either like Georgie or drunks, and his father had abandoned his family. Did all of that mean Marc would be no good too? I would never be able to accept that, but it was hard not to think about as Tracy’s boyfriend stomped into the restaurant, complaining that his lunch hadn’t been delivered on time. Roy worked at the landfill and he stank.
I hurried out of the main dining area, not wanting to witness whatever might happen. Georgie ran in as the shouting began.
I slipped my apron off to trade with the waitress who had just come in for her shift. Glad to be able to escape the coming Cops Show moment, I hurried to the clubhouse, where I already knew Marc was waiting.
As if he sensed my need, Marc motioned to where he had hidden his car.
“You drive.”
Ten minutes later we were on the highway, both pretending that we didn’t ever have to come back.
When I suggested we go parking, Marc directed me to another new place. We steamed up the windows for an hour, but still I wasn’t satisfied. It was time to let him know some of what I was feeling.
Since Georgie’s visit, I’d made some choices. They were hard, but they might allow me to keep my sanity when things went crazy again. I couldn’t run while Marc was away. I needed him emotionally, but I also wouldn’t get far without his help. I had to stay here and wait for him, but I wouldn’t be able to avoid Georgie during that time. He was going to do whatever he wanted to. The only choice I had in the matter, was who would get to show me that side of being physical. I wanted it to be Marc.
I didn’t know if Georgie would know the difference, but I thought it would be enough for me to know that no matter how much Georgie hurt me in that moment, Marc had already shown me it didn’t have to be that way. I would hold onto the good and use it to get me through the bad.
Except, marc wouldn’t cooperate. I doubted that he would even if I could explain all that to him, which I couldn’t. That only left pushing him into these moments while hoping that his control failed. I felt so bad for doing that, that I’d decided to try to talk to him about it once more. I would try hard to reason with him without revealing my motivation. I didn’t want Marc to feel like he was being used, and I certainly didn’t want him getting mad and going to jail. I just needed him to love me.
Marc
“I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Her words brought me back from that hazy place. “What?”
Angie’s lashes fluttered against my arm. “I love you. You love me. We’re tired of waiting. That’s all we do and...I need more.”
Terror sank into my male heart. She wasn’t satisfied with me! “I thought you were happy.”
“It feels good at the time, but afterwards, I know that I missed something and it sort of ruins it,” she confessed, again proving to me that mentally, she was as old as I was.
I kissed the top of her curls. “For missing it, you certainly have things figured out. You get any wiser and I won’t be old enough for you.”
“I want you to think about it,” she insisted, refusing to be drawn into my joking distraction.
“As if I don’t already.”
“Please?”
“I’d rather wait a bit longer,” I said, sitting up. She did too, but immediately leaned against my seat in a way that began to get me hard again. Dark, sexy curls barely covering her breasts made it hard to concentrate, but I pushed on. I had known this would happen again, but I hadn’t expected it so soon.
“There are other things we can do.”
Her lids flew open, pinning me in place with eager curiosity.
“Like what?”
“I can rub against you...” she started to protest that we’d already done that and I added, “Without clothes on.”
Angie paused, clearly fascinated by that forbidden line.
“And I can kiss you again.”
Angie gasped, eyes darkening in desire as I rubbed against her through her unsnapped jeans. I slowly leaned forward, following my plan to the letter. In my wildest dreams, I’d never thought it would go exactly as I’d envisioned, but here I was, lowering my mouth to kiss her bare stomach. It had made sense that there would have to be jumps in levels since I’d been going so slow. I would have to be careful when my pants came down, but not with hers. I could enjoy this and carry it to my bed for when I was alone again.
“So sweet,” I whispered, kissing her stomach again. Someday, I would put my sons there to grow in safety.
I slid her jeans down a few more inches and her hands tangled in my hair as I kissed her lips. I did it again and she shuddered. When I stroked the tip of my tongue upward, she cried out, lifting into my mouth. I rocked an already hard body against her leg as I pleased her, the sound of her moans and cries preventing rational thought. I spoke to her between licks and kisses. I told her how much I loved her, how I’d always wanted her, and how much I needed her. I loved her with my soul and the mental doors between us swung open wide. We connected in a flash of happiness and need that caused us both to arch, groaning in completion.
“Oh, Brady!”
My ego also burst and we enjoyed the waves. It seemed like the perfect time to say, “I can’t wait to do this again.”
Angie giggled, hands playing in my hair as I rested my cheek on her thigh.
“Two minutes, right?”
I almost choked on the laughter.
I’d once told her that guys needed a couple of minutes between moments like this. We usually stopped at one because we wanted to spend our short visits doing more than groping each other.
I wiped my mouth on my shirt and gently helped her dress. If she stayed uncovered, we would have moment number three. I was young, but that was a bit much for two hours. I was over the days of coated sheets and piles of tissues. I preferre
d quality to quantity.
“Do you really think you’ll love me forever?”
I peered up to discover her not smiling, so I didn’t either. She was serious. “Why do you ask?”
“Georgie says if I give myself to a boy, he won’t like me anymore because that’s all he wanted in the first place. Is that why you’re waiting, stretching it out?”
“No. You’re too young to–”
“Shut up!” Angie shoved me away and sat up, reaching for her bra. “I don’t ever want to hear that again!”
I tried to think of the right thing to say and I took too long. She jumped from our ‘parking’ space and slid onto the hood.
I followed, not sure what she was worrying about. I leaned against her and was glad when her arms and legs brought me in close. I hugged her, loving how she smelled like both of us after we had these moments. “I really will love you forever.”
“You promise?”
I smiled. “I’ve always been yours, you know. The end of the world couldn’t change how I feel for you. I dare it to try.”
Angie
In the dream, I was flying. I blew by scarlet hills covered in yellow flowers that hid dinosaurs. I weaved through clouds hiding unicorns, and then into a dark sky that sent me speeding toward a waterfall. I dove through the crystal liquid and came out into a burning hell that held screaming souls by the thousands.
As I flew over, unharmed by the flames, they stretched out to me, begging for help.
I snapped awake with a jerk that also jolted Marc into alertness. We were snuggled together in the chilly backseat. While he checked the time and began to worry, I tried to recover from the nightmare. I’d never had one like that.
The witch had once told me that going through a hole or water was like going through time, which would mean I saw the present–our happiness, and then the future–the result of our relationship, maybe. It was impossible to be certain. Predicting the future wasn’t easy and never controllable for me. I didn’t have the concentration for it yet.
Marc kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “That was incredible. Thank you.”
I blushed. “Wanna do it again?”
Marc stiffened, and then sighed, nodding. “You bet that sweet mouth.”
I grinned and took his hand to hold while I got things started. It was a great birthday.
Fall rolled by, bringing snow before Thanksgiving. Mary didn’t have a gathering for the holiday, but only because she was in the next state, undergoing medical tests. Some of the family thought maybe she’d been forgetting things and dropping stuff. I knew what was wrong with her, but I had no sympathy. I didn’t tell Marc. He stayed by her during the trips to the doctor that month, but he didn’t have much sympathy for her either.
She returned with a clean bill of health that Marc verified. He said he’d been there when the doctor announced it. I wondered if Marc had forgotten how powerful his mother was. If she didn’t want the family to know she had the cancer, then they wouldn’t discover it. Again, I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t worried that Marc would ask me to help her. I was worried that my own morals would force me to. Someone was sick and I held the power to help them. And, I owed her for the last months of peace, for helping me while I was ill. Refusing to repay the favor was very wrong to me, but I was more scared of her finding out about my curse than I was of damning my soul.
Mary’s control certainly didn’t appear to suffer during her illness. There were no artifact shops in our town now, no signs that gypsies had ever existed here, except in the coloring of the people. But like Marc had pointed out, she was still working on that one.
There had been many changes to our town. The drive-in was shut down now. It was blamed on vcrs being so cheap that everybody could have one. I thought it was really because of the missing girl being found on their property. The Junior had vanished months ago from a school football game and bonfire, and been found in the drive-in bathroom, severely decayed. Rumors said she’d been dug up and dumped, but it didn’t matter. No one had felt safe enough to go there.
The kids also lost the top of the hill to a power substation that workers finished building around the start of Christmas Break. Once the fence was put around it, our sledding place was also gone. With nothing to occupy their time, the town’s remaining youth immediately became wilder, and the peacefulness was constantly being broken with boom boxes that cranked out anger against the strict authority in their lives. Even the bike paths became unsafe for the younger kids, as the teenagers claimed the last places in the neighborhood for their drinking and parties.
In town, the small stores were replaced with a Walmart, and the cornfield no longer held dead plants waiting to be plowed. The field had been burned by people from Fernald and was taped off to prevent anyone from going in there. We’d heard they paid a huge fee to the farmer. That was supported by the cash Mary was handed for various gardens, plots, and animals that had to be destroyed on her properties. The reps didn’t tell us exactly what was so bad that the very ground had to be burnt, and no one asked. The reporters were long gone for the next hot tragedy. As usual, the town just waited for the newest round of checks to arrive.
Marc and I spent most of our time driving around or parking, but we did get a few more moments at the clubhouse. It was visible from the burnt field during the day, but at night, no one was out running tests or guarding the tape.
As the snows came, leaving feet of white ice behind, we refused to discuss the coming eighteen months apart. Marc said he would call me a few weeks after leaving, and we would make our plans from there. I thought I could make it for that long without him. The holiday season had Georgie and Frona busy, and they were both too tired after our shifts to do much more than shower and sleep. I had no illusions that peace would hold.
Marc
A week before Christmas, Angie and I exchanged gifts and said goodbye. We both cried a little, but we mostly just held each other. Even if I didn’t take the family deal, I would still have to wait until she was seventeen. We had one more year of pretending, but I would be able to call her this time, where I hadn’t been able to as easily before. I also believed she would be safe. Mary knew that was a deal-breaker. She had told the family that she had plans for Angie. She also said she had spoken with Georgie directly concerning both Angie and Frona. It would have to be enough. I’d made her deal and she’d told everyone. I was her official heir, beating out my brothers, which meant that despite my aloofness, as some put it, I was smarter than others who’d been considered for this position. I wasn’t sure if I was smarter. Maybe I was just a little cleverer, which I didn’t consider the same thing.
The Christmas gathering was held at my old home, and the first ten minutes helped to prove to me that my mother would keep her word and make sure that Angie was taken care of. Instead of directing her to the chair she’d always occupied, Mary waved Angie into her study in front of a dozen witnesses. It allowed me to relax enough that I noticed the way the family who had been invited were viewing me. Their gazes held fear and a slight contempt that I credited to my getting the coveted position instead of them.
Mary disappeared into the study behind Angie, and I went upstairs to finish packing so that Douglas could load the car. We were leaving as soon as this gathering was over. It didn’t occur to me until much later that I should have been in that study with Angie. I didn’t know they were going to be discussing anything other than the job that my mother had recently mentioned giving her. I assumed she was handling the loose end before I left, to prove herself again. Mary gone out of her way to do that over the last months and I was much more optimistic now than I had been before Angie’s illness. Depending on what it was, I might be able to live with running things. My mother might not, however. If I took over, I would change everything bad that she had going on. Nothing in our family would be the same when I was through.
Angie
Mary pointed to a seat and shut the study doors. She had long robes over white undergarme
nts again, playing the holy act, but I knew better. She was about to demand a payment for all her help. I had decided that I wasn’t going to do anything dirty, but if she had an honest job, I would consider it.
“Have you chosen a career yet?” Mary asked casually, sitting down behind her desk.
“Sort of,” I responded as she adjusted those glasses so she could peer down her nose at me.
“What does that mean?”
“I might be an author. I might try to do something more important. I’m not sure yet.”
“Typical teenage answer,” Mary murmured, drawing a paper from her middle drawer. “I wanted to be a dump truck driver for a while.”
I studied her in suspicion. Until I got sick, Mary Brady had never once spoken to me unless she had to, and here she was telling me about her childhood. What the hell?
“Did you know that Jeanie moved?”
I tensed. I couldn’t help it.
Mary flashed a tiny, cold smile. “Her father had a run of good luck and paid me off. Then, he moved and refused to say how he could afford it.”
I shrugged, trying to recover. “Good for them.”
“Indeed,” Mary agreed, locking onto me with gleaming orbs that I feared.
“I have a job for you. If you do what you’re told and you do it well, you’ll be rewarded.”
“With Marc?” I immediately wanted that verified.