by Zoe Dawson
Braxton
I didn’t think there was anything about River Pearl left to surprise me, but I was floored by her clear, sweet voice, singing about finding the one. For a minute I missed the beginning of the song because I simply stood there listening to her voice and the words…those words got to me, because she’d deliberately chosen the song. It spread a balm over my soul, the way she claimed me while at the same time she defied Suttontowne’s opinion of me.
When she motioned Aubree and Verity up to the stage, they joined in. Aubree sat next to Booker, and Verity slipped her arms around Boone from behind.
I gripped my bow tighter as a hush fell over the crowd until Booker joined in the singing, then Boone, and finally me.
Each of my brothers had found the one they were meant to be with, and I was happy for them, but there wasn’t a chance for me. Even though, deep down where I held it like a precious secret, I knew River Pearl was the one. She always had been the only one.
As a kid I hadn’t known, of course, but there was always something about her which compelled me. It was only now, now I’d had a chance to let myself have her in every way, I knew it was true. I had been lying to myself for so long.
Nothing was easy with her. There were so many complications. But even if she wasn’t Suttontowne’s golden girl or the rich girl, or the direct descendent of the founder, I still couldn’t be with her.
It had everything to do with how I felt about her.
Everything to do with my reputation and what it would do to hers.
The last notes died, and I set down my bow and fiddle. The applause was deafening, and River laughed and did this cute little curtsy thing. We were done with this set. And my concentration was completely shot.
I clasped her hand and pulled her off the stage to the kitchen, then into my office to shut out the bustle. As the door closed behind us, I slipped my hand into her hair and pulled her against me, my arm around her lower back. She didn’t say anything for once, only wrapped her arms around my neck and tightened them. I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t touch her anywhere else. I just held her.
I wanted her. My body was one big hard-on at the moment, but my heart? She had a way of tangling it up without even trying, and when she was trying…well, I had no damned defenses. None.
Women were supposed to be about satisfying my physical needs. That’s all I’d allowed them to be about. Which was why I had never touched her until this summer. I didn’t want her to be all about the physical. I wanted more, but it was never going to happen.
“I meant every word, sugar,” she said.
“I know you did,” I rasped. My throat tight.
“We have our own paths. We’re adults. We’re not kids anymore, with fantasy dreams and unrealistic expectations…” She paused and I waited. “I think it’s no secret now I’ve always wanted you.”
I lifted my head, then, and looked her directly in the eyes. “River—”
“I know,” she said. “No complications. No future. I get it.”
Did she? Did she really? I’d denied her for so long. I liked to think I had the strength to stick to my vow. I liked to think I was clear-headed and strong-willed, and that I was doing the right thing here. No matter how hard it was to think about letting her go. Nothing was perfect, least of all me. But I was trying to keep everything into perspective.
“It’s been so hard for me, wanting you for so long,” I told her, which made her eyes darken, her body loosen in anticipation of me, and what was left of my resolve disintegrated. I wanted to see the look in her eyes again and again. I wanted to see it when I was inside her, when I was taking her there, stroke by stroke, when I was the one who pushed her over. I wanted to be the only one who saw the look, ever, and it was the fierce, ridiculous surge of possessiveness which almost gave me back the edge I so desperately needed.
Because I was wavering, big time.
“Where is she?”
River stiffened and her eyes widened in horror.
My office door flew open, and her daddy, James Sutton, stood there. He was a big man with a shock of golden blond hair and River’s eyes. River didn’t move, but I did. There was a warning of violence in his eyes as he glared at me. There was no way I was going to hurt Mr. Sutton in front of River Pearl.
“What do you think you’re doing, young lady?”
She squared her shoulders, and I could see she was not only not intimidated by me, but her daddy also had his work cut out for him.
My brothers must have seen Mr. Sutton come back here, because they materialized behind him. Then his brother and my ma were standing there. I groaned. Did this have to be a family affair?
“I’m an adult, Daddy and I’m hanging out with Brax. Is there a problem?”
“Your momma hasn’t heard from you since last night and she’s sick with worry.”
“I have a cell phone.”
“She’s called it several times.”
“Oh, that’s right,” she drawled, with a kind of snotty edge. “I forgot it at home. I guess I must have been distracted.”
For a brief fleeting moment I had thought…my heart twisted, believed maybe we could…geezus. I was a fool. Mr. Sutton said all there was to say, and he was her daddy. Others wouldn’t be so generous.
“Let’s go,” he said, and River glanced at me.
“Brax?”
“Go,” I said.
Her face crumpled a little and my heart hurt at the sight of her pleading with me to take a stand. But I couldn’t. I knew what the end result would be. Her downfall. Not mine. I stepped over to her and cupped her face even as I saw her daddy’s mouth tighten out of the corner of my eye. “Don’t do this to yourself. It’s okay.” I leaned in and whispered. “Just go.”
He reached out his hand and her eyes narrowed as she walked past him and I heard the back door slam.
He looked at me with menacing blue eyes. “You’d be wise to remember your place, Outlaw. My daughter has opportunities and a high-powered career in front of her. She’s not going to throw it all away on a good-for-nothing bar owner.”
“Mr. Sutton. It’s not like I kidnapped her. River made her own choices.”
“She made the wrong one.”
He turned to go and my ma barred his path.
“James,” my ma’s voice was laced with ice. “Don’t you ever speak to my son that way again.”
“Honestly, James,” Winchester said. “You’re totally out of line. River’s not a child anymore.”
“Win, don’t.” He eyed my ma and brushed past her. “I’m not too keen on your choices either, brother.”
The door slammed again with finality.
Feeling like my chest was being crushed, I walked past my brothers, Ma and Winchester. “You set now, Jackie? See that Mr. Sutton and my ma are taken care of, and my brothers.”
“Yes,” she said, the anger and sympathy in her eyes adding to the sick feeling churning in my gut.
I turned to find Boone and Booker standing in my way. My ma searched my face, and what she saw there made her close her eyes in pain. She knew. They all knew. I had somehow lost the layer of protection that allowed me to hide my feelings for River. Now I knew her, had touched her, the promise of what we could have together like a stardust glow, I couldn’t glue the protective shield back together. But the look she’d given me before she’d left. It had been the killing blow.
And with my shield gone, shattered and lying around me in pieces, I had no protection, so I crumbled to pieces, too.
Chapter Fifteen
River Pearl
I had never been so furious in my life. I sat in my daddy’s car, my arms crossed, fuming. I was actually afraid I might say something…unforgivable, something so disrespectful it would damage our relationship for the rest of my life.
So, because my family relations were important to me—Oh, God, the look on Brax’s face! intruded into my thoughts and I clamped down on my tongue. My family was important to me.
“You made the right decision.
”
I turned slowly to glare at my daddy. “I didn’t make any decision. You forced my hand by coming into Braxton’s place of business and disrupting it. Which was breathtakingly rude. How would you feel if he barged into your office and insulted you?!”
“Place of business,” he snorted.
“Stop the car! I want to get out! I will not spend another minute in your company!”
“No. Cease your dramatics.”
I started to unsnap my seat beat, but he covered my hand.
“River, be reasonable. You’re not going anywhere until we get things straightened out.”
I made an angry sound in my throat. With a frustrated cry, I threw myself back against the seat with force.
When we pulled up in front of the house, I slammed open my door and stalked out of the car into the house. My daddy soon caught up to me and grabbed my arm, ushering me into our family room. My momma was sitting on the couch, and my cousin Earl was talking to her. My brother was staring out at the lawn. When she saw me, she cried out like I’d been missing for days without word. She jumped up and threw her arms around me and hugged me. I met Jake’s guilty eyes.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he said sullenly, then glanced at cousin Earl.
He was the one who’d ratted me out? I should have guessed. A chill went down my spine. He met my eyes with sly, vindictive victory, no longer masking the hunger that had always lurked there. He was despicable and a lecherous pervert, and he disgusted me. When he saw my look of revulsion, his eyes narrowed. I was going to make sure my daddy knew what kind of viper he’d allowed in the family. I think my momma always suspected.
“River you need to come to your senses about what you’re doing. Don’t throw everything away—”
“I’m not throwing anything away!” I shouted and I saw the shock on her face as I pulled violently away. “Why is it everyone gets to decide what is good for me except me? I am a grown woman! I’m not a child anymore. I have a life outside of this house and outside of Suttontowne, one I’ve been managing quite well, I might add. So don’t give me this bullshit.”
“River!” My momma cried, eyes shimmering with her next mode of attack: tears.
My daddy peered at me. Then he looked at me closely and alarm spread across his face. “What happened to your nose?”
“My nose is not in question right now.”
“Braxton Outlaw is known for his temper,” Earl smirked. “And we know how River Pearl likes to take in the strays.”
I brought up my chin and looked him hard in the eye. Another chill went down my spine. He hadn’t actually accused Brax of anything. No, he’d only implied he could have hit me. “Better than being a cynical jerk with no heart. Not that I should have to explain anything related to my personal business, but I fell and banged it.”
I stood my ground, and looked carefully, one by one, at each person in the room. “Let’s get off my nose and onto what this is really about—Braxton Outlaw. His reputation in this town and nothing else. I am soooooo sick of how the Outlaws have been treated. It’s time for us to let it go! It’s been 153 years! We should set an example. Duel and the Colonel were friends! It’s way past time. Didn’t what happened to Verity mean anything? An ‘upstanding guy’ like Billy Joe Freeman, who was studying to be a preacher, attacked and almost killed them. Boone saved her.”
My daddy shoved his hands in his pockets, head down. Then he looked me in the eye. “I’m not saying those boys are bad, River. And what Boone did was admirable. He did right by Verity when he married her and gave the baby a name. But it’s their curse. I will not allow it to rub off on us. You cannot change how the town sees the Outlaws,” my daddy said. “Their fate is sealed.”
I knew then I was wasting my breath. I wasn’t going to defend Braxton to my family. “I need a ride,” I stated flatly. “I’m done discussing this with people who are close-minded.”
“A ride? Where?”
“To Braxton’s.”
Without a word my daddy grabbed my arm and hustled me into the library, slamming the door behind him. He forced me into one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. Pouring two fingers of whiskey he swallowed it down.
“You are acting very high-handed. If you think I’m going to back down—”
“I have enough experience with you River to understand that when you get something in your head, you fight hard to get your way.”
“Then stop this, right now and let me go and live my own life instead of yours and momma’s!”
“I’ll ruin him.”
He said it quietly, and it chilled me to the bone. “What?”
“He’s needs a liquor license to run that…that bar of his. Doesn’t he? I have some contacts in the capital. I’ll use them. He needs suppliers, too.” And, he got in my face. “He might not have hit you in the nose, but I’ll press charges against him for assault.”
“You can’t be serious. Braxton didn’t hit me! This is outrageous.”
“I’ll not have another one of my children embarrass me again. You’ll mind yourself until you go back to New York, or Braxton Outlaw will suffer for it. I’ll send someone for your car.” He held his hand out for my keys. I stared at him, but he never wavered. With a fury I couldn’t contain, it was on my face and in my jerky movements, I reached into my bag and pulled them out. Slapping them into his hands, he clenched them, turning away.
After he stalked out of the library, I sat there for a second until my stomach protested, strenuously, and I barely made it to the bathroom before emptying the contents into the commode. I sat there on the floor, numb.
“How did you expect him to react?” Jake said from the doorway. “You can’t fight it.” He came into the bathroom and wet a washcloth. He crouched down and wiped my mouth.
“Oh, God,” I said. It had finally dawned on me. “He found out you were hanging out with them, didn’t he?”
He dropped his head and closed his eyes. “When I was a freshman in high school. I’ve never seen him so mad. He threatened them then, too. He said he’d make sure drugs were found on them and they would go to prison if I didn’t take my place in the family and act like a Sutton.”
And, I remembered back to all those days at the country club. Jake was performing for my daddy, who was always nearby to remind him he was no friend of Braxton’s.
“Were you there the night he got knifed?”
Jake swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to go, River. It was Jack Douglas. He hated Brax. But when I heard he was gathering some kind of posse to track Braxton down because he’d slept with a girl Jack wanted, I had to. I didn’t know he had a knife. I didn’t know.”
“You stopped him from using it.”
He ran his hands through his hair, his face stricken from the memory. “I tried. There was so much blood.”
“You called Chase.”
He nodded. “I was going to call the sheriff and give him a tip, but Braxton never pressed charges.”
“Because he knew you were there, and if he had done anything like that, it would have come out. Oh, God, he was protecting you. Oh, Jake.”
“You think?”
“I asked him if you were there and he sidestepped my question. Said it was too dark, but I had a feeling he was lying.”
“Fuck! I didn’t know. I should have gone to the sheriff myself and told him everything.”
“It wouldn’t have done any good, Jake. We both know it. Sheriff Cranston hated the Outlaws. He wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help them. At least Aubree’s stepdaddy, Sheriff Dalton, gives them a fair shake.”
He pushed my hair back with brotherly affection and my heart hurt for what he’d already been through. “I was trying to talk you out of getting involved with Braxton because it wouldn’t have been good for him.”
“Why did you hit him, then?”
“To chase him off. I did use you as an excuse, but I knew what would happen if it was discovered.�
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“Cousin Earl, snake in the grass.”
“Yeah. Fucking Braxton. He didn’t even fight back. I wanted him to hit me. I deserve it.”
“Jake,” I said softly, finally understanding my brother. I wrapped my arms around him. “Why are you doing everything he wants?”
“Because Chase left. He left. Do you want our legacy to go to Earl? Do you want it to die? I had to do what needed to be done.” He helped me up and said. “I’m sorry, sis. You’ve always had a thing for Brax, I know, but if you decide to…go with him, you can expect to be ostracized from the family. Daddy has chosen, and the Outlaws will always be sacrificed. He told me so. I fought and lost. Chase fought and lost.”
“Is it the money?”
“No, it’s not the money. I’m not afraid of trying to make it on my own. Family should come first, shouldn’t it, River? Chase left. I chose to stay.”
He looked so earnest, and my heart broke for him. “Yes, Jake, it’s important. But Chase did what was best for him. Do you think you can forgive him?”
He dropped his head. “I’m trying, but it’s hard.”
“River Pearl,” my momma said from the doorway. “I would like to speak with you.”
I sighed heavily.
Jake gave me an encouraging look and left. I walked out into the hall knowing my impeccably dressed momma didn’t want to have a conversation with me while we were in the bathroom.
“I’m sure you’re worried.”
“Well, of course I am. I want the best for you.”
“Do you really? All the crap you expect from me. I’m not entering the Miss Louisiana pageant. I refuse to take scholarship money away from women who could really use it. I don’t want to be a beauty queen anymore.”
My momma sucked in a gasp, her hand going to her throat. “But we’ve worked so hard for this since you were a child.”
“No, you worked me hard over it and I’m simply not interested.”
“No, you’re interested in Braxton Outlaw!”
“You don’t have to worry there either, Momma. Daddy persuaded me to think differently about any involvement with him.”