Vesper evidently did not know the one. She looked at him strangely and Val could see that she was about to question him so he stood up, taking her by the elbow.
“I will go with you,” he said, helping her rise from the table. “I am not sure what is wrong with me this night. I feel the cold in my bones.”
Vesper was concerned. “Are you becoming ill?” she asked, putting her hand on his face to see if he was with fever. “You do not feel warm.”
Val simply shook his head, taking her with him as he walked away from the table and murmuring his reasons for leaving to her by the time they reached the entry. Vesper didn’t particularly agree with him, that he felt the need to leave Juliana alone with Aland after the argument they’d had earlier, but she didn’t dispute him. Like a good wife, she followed him from the hall, leaving her daughter alone at the table with her suitor and about seventy de Nerra soldiers around the hall, eating. Vesper knew that if Aland tried anything bold, the de Nerra men would step in.
When her parents left the table, it didn’t go unnoticed by Juliana that she was alone with Aland now. Wondering if they had left a-purpose, to leave her to the mercy of an aggressive suitor, she set her cup aside and went to stand, but Aland put his hand on her arm.
“Please do not leave, Juliana,” he said softly but insistently. “I… I know you are angry with me, but please do not leave. It was not my intention to upset you earlier. Please believe me.”
Juliana yanked her arm away from him. “Of course it was your intention to upset me earlier,” she snapped. “Why else would you have told me what you did? You wanted to upset me and you did. Now you must live with the consequences.”
Aland sighed heavily. “I wanted you to understand what has become of Rhogan and nothing more,” he said. “Juliana, you are a beautiful and most desirable marital prospect. You have so much to offer. Would you waste it all over a memory?”
Her jaw ticked angrily. “If I do, it is my business,” she said. “Nothing I do concerns you, Aland de Ferrers. I told you to go home and I meant it. I do not want to see you.”
That wasn’t the answer Aland was looking for. She was being stubborn as far as he was concerned and, like all women, needed to have a man take charge. Reaching up, he gave her arm a yank and pulled her right back down to the bench. His fingers, still on her wrist, dug into her flesh.
“Listen to me,” he grumbled. “You are being foolish and obstinate. Do you think you are the first woman who has ever lost a love? Of course you are not. You are acting as if you are the only woman in the history of the world who has ever lost your love. You are not so special, lady. Moreover, Rhogan left you; do you understand that? He left you because he did not want you. I am offering you a position of prestige, as my wife. Are you too blind to see that I am the best offer you will ever receive?”
Juliana’s face was red by the time he finished. He was still holding on to her arm and she tried to yank it away but he held firm. “Let go of my arm,” she said through clenched teeth.
Aland refused. “Not until you see reason.”
“If you do not let me go, I will scream and every man in this room will beat you.”
Aland knew that was probably true. With a sigh of exasperation, he released her. “If you leave, I will only follow you, so it would behoove you to remain,” he said steadily. “Your father has given me permission to court you. Know that whatever I do has his blessing.”
As he and Juliana faced off for what was undoubtedly to be an argument of epic proportions, neither one of them saw a big, dark silhouette moving in the shadows of the hall. The servant that had given his name as John was near their table, in the recesses of the room as dictated by his servitude status. He’d brought meat into the hall and was preparing to duck out into the yard again when the sight of Aland and Juliana, alone at the end of a table, caught his attention. Juliana didn’t appear happy and Aland had grabbed her, twice. He’d even yanked her down to sit beside him.
Something told him to move in their direction.
Oblivious to the servant in the shadows, Juliana was fixed on Aland and his declaration. He seemed overly confident about his chances to marry her and she hated him for it.
“I will tell my father that you have been rude and rough with me,” she said. “When he hears this, you will be fortunate if he does not run you through.”
“You seem to forget that your father wants you married. You are old, Juliana. Most men want wives much younger than you.”
“Do you think that concerns me? If you do, then you are a bigger fool than I thought you were.”
Aland was genuinely trying not to snap at her. “We used to be friends, you and I. What has happened that you would be so hostile towards me?”
He was right; they had been friends for years. Juliana struggled not to become emotional about it. “Because I told you that I did not wish to marry you, yet you persist,” she said, trying a different approach because growing angry with the man was not working. “Aland, any woman would be thrilled by your suit, but I am not. I told you it is nothing personal. I simply do not wish to marry, not you and not anyone. Why can you not abide by my wishes? Why must you push?”
Aland could see that she was easing her angry stance somewhat and he went in for a strike. “Do you truly wait for Rhogan, Juliana?”
“I do.”
“But he will not return.”
She looked away. “It does not matter,” she said. “I told him that I would always wait for him.”
Aland reached out to take her hand, gently, but she pulled it away, unwilling to allow him to touch her. It embarrassed him.
“Am I so repulsive that you do not wish for me to touch you?” he asked quietly.
She looked at him, then. “I do not wish to marry you,” she said. “I do not know how much plainer I can make it. You used to be Rhogan’s friend, Aland. What has changed between you two that you would try to stamp out my memory of him?”
“That should be clear. I want the woman whose heart he occupies.”
Juliana shook her head slowly. “You cannot have me. I will commit myself to a convent before I marry you.”
Aland went from mildly annoyed to unreasonable rage, all in a fraction of a second. From out of the folds of his tunic, in a very expensive leather belt studded with gold, he pulled forth a small but very sharp dagger. He’d had enough of this foolishness. Snatching Juliana by the wrist, he pulled her against him, the dagger jabbing into her ribs. She gasped.
“Make another sound and I shall ram this blade into your chest,” he said, his voice low and nasty. “If you do not believe me, try it. I may not make it out of here alive, but I promise you will not, either. Do as I say. Now, stand up.”
Terrified, because Juliana didn’t want a dagger thrust into her body, she tried to pull away. “Let me go!”
Aland wasn’t playing games; he poked her with the dagger and she yelped. “Resist one more time and I shall ram this deep. Now, stand up. I will not tell you again.”
Fearfully, Juliana did as she was told and Aland stood up next to her, holding her near his body with the dagger pointing straight at her. Knowing that he should not take her out of the main entry, as her brothers were by the gatehouse and her parents were probably lurking about somewhere as well, he spied a servant’s entrance on the north side of the hall.
“That way,” he dipped his head in the direction of the servant’s entrance. “Go.”
Juliana did. She obeyed him because she was afraid. But she also knew that, at some point, she could gain the upper hand with him. Aland was a slave to flattery, and he was demanding obedience, so until she could manage to get away from him, she would have to give him what he wanted.
And then she would watch with pleasure while her father eviscerated him.
Shuffling towards the northern servant’s entrance, Juliana was unaware that the servant, John, was still in the shadows behind them, now following them as they headed from the servant’s entrance. It was pa
rticularly cold out here, the frozen ground beneath the crystal-bright night sky. Breath hung in great puffs of fog as they headed into a walled garden, with an entrance to the ground storage level of the keep on the other end of it.
“Now what do you intend to do?” Juliana asked. “You cannot go anywhere into the keep because my parents are there. You had better remove the dagger, Aland, and I shall not tell them what you have done. But if you persist, I will make sure my father and brothers punish you severely.”
Aland sighed sharply. “Do you not understand, you foolish chit?” he asked. “This is the only way I could get your attention. Clearly, you do not understand…”
“Release her.”
The voice came from behind and Aland tightened his grip on Juliana as he turned to see a hulking figure in the dark behind him. There was a little moonlight this night, just enough to see shapes in various shades of gray. But the sight of a very big man behind them frightened Aland. He held Juliana in front of him like a shield.
“Who are you?” he demanded. “Go away, do you hear? This does not concern you.”
The figure didn’t move. “I am afraid that it does,” he said. “You have a dagger on her. Release her, Aland.”
The figure knew his name. Now, curiosity joined Aland’s fear as he tried to peer through the darkness at the massive figure.
“Who are you?” he asked again, less of a demand and more of a plea. “How do you know my name?”
The figure shifted on his big legs. Both Aland and Juliana could hear a faint sigh upon the wind.
“Because I know you,” he said, his voice hoarse and rough. “You and I have known each other since childhood. I have always known you to be vain and rash, but I have never known you to be cruel. Since when do you put a dagger to a lady? When de Nerra finds out, he will kill you.”
Aland’s curiosity was growing by leaps and bounds. So was Juliana’s, in fact. She couldn’t see the figure in the darkness, either, but there was something about the voice that she recognized. It took her a moment to realize that the figure in the shadows sounded like the servant she had spoken with earlier in the day.
John, his name had been. His voice was so distinctive that there was really no mistaking it.
“John?” she asked. “Is that you?”
Joints popped as the figure shifted on his big legs and began to walk towards her, emerging into the moonlight that was streaming in over the keep. With the kerchief around his head, the odd mask, and the heavy beard, the servant from the kitchen yard came into view like the vision from a nightmare.
In the darkness, he was positively terrifying.
“My lady,” he greeted evenly. “I saw him take you from the hall. I have come to help.”
Before Juliana could reply, Aland piped up. “And just what do you intend to do?” he demanded. “Get out of here, you freakish beast. This is not your business.”
Upset by his cruel words, Juliana began to struggle. “Leave him alone,” she said, trying to yank away from him. “And let me go! I will scream!”
Aland still had a good grip on her, trying to jab her with the dagger without actually hurting her too badly. “I told you what would happen if you did!”
“I told you to let her go, Aland,” the servant said again, taking another step in their direction. “I will not tell you again.”
The struggles between Aland and Juliana slowed. “Stop addressing me by my name!” Aland boomed. “Get away from here or I will take my anger out on the lady!”
Juliana managed to throw an open palm into Aland’s face, right into his nose. Gasping in pain, Aland stumbled back, hand to his face, as Juliana pulled away completely, but not before the dagger nicked her. It tore her dress as well as her flesh, and she put a hand to her torso, coming away bloodied. Outraged, she held up her hand.
“See what you did?” she said, furious. “You tore my gown and you cut me! My father shall hear of this!”
Aland lunged for her but the servant was there, putting himself between them. The dagger meant for Juliana went straight into the servant’s shoulder, the two-inch blade planting to the hilt. Juliana screamed when she saw what had happened, but the servant didn’t seem to notice; he grabbed Aland by the wrist and twisted it brutally. The sound of snapping bones could be heard as Aland was driven to his knees, howling in pain. On his knees in the mud, he cried out as the servant still had a grip on the broken wrist as if to twist it off.
“You asked me how I knew your name and I told you,” the servant hissed. “I have known you since childhood, Aland de Ferrers, but I never thought you were capable of such behavior. When did you become a molester of women? When did you ever come to the rationalization that holding a knife on a woman was a right and just thing? Have you really become so vile over the years?”
Aland was groaning in pain, afraid to move because the servant had his broken wrist in his grip. “Let me… go! I shall see you drawn and quartered for this, you contemptable monster! You disgusting creature! Unhand me immediately!”
The servant bent over him, the barest moonlight illuminating his face with the frightening mask upon it.
“Look at me,” he rumbled. “Look deeply; you know me, Aland. And know that it is I who will punish you for touching Juliana as you have. As you have hurt her, I will hurt you tenfold. It is nothing less than you deserve.”
Aland was looking at him, though he was panting with agony. “Who are you?”
The servant lifted his free hand, pulling off the kerchief first. Although it was dark in the garden, there was enough light to see. The right side of the servant’s head was covered in scar tissue and most of the right side of his head was scarred and hairless. As the kerchief fell to the ground, the mask was the next to go. It came off, revealing a heavily scarred right eye, no exterior right ear – merely a hole – but now that the entire face was revealed, it took Aland a moment to realize who he was looking at.
A vision from the past.
He could hardly believe it.
“Now, do you know me?” the servant asked.
Aland did. He gasped with incredulity. “Rhogan?”
At the mention of the name, Juliana cried out, her hands flying to her mouth in utter disbelief. But Rhogan was still focused on Aland. He nodded, once, and then shoved the man down into the mud, snapping more bones in Aland’s hand as he did so. As Aland wallowed on the ground, moaning in anguish and certainly incapable of fighting back, Rhogan turned to Juliana.
She was standing beneath the weak moonlight, hands to her mouth and eyes overflowing with tears as she looked at him. Rhogan realized that he’d done something he’d never intended to do; he’d revealed himself to her. But it could not be helped. He struggled not to grab his kerchief and mask, for he’d never been fully exposed like this before, not since his accident. He felt naked and ashamed. As he watched her tears spill over, he spoke.
“I am sorry, Juliana,” he muttered raspily. “I know you did not expect to see me. I never intended to tell you the truth of my identity. But I… I came back to Selborne because I simply wanted to be where you were. I know that I have no right at all, knowing how badly I treated you, knowing I had given you my promise and then broke it. I have no excuse for what I did other than I was stupid. I was the stupidest man alive. But please know that you are the only woman I have ever loved. I am sure you do not believe that, but it is the truth.”
Juliana blinked and tears spattered all over her cheeks, her hands. She couldn’t seem to take them away from her mouth. “Is… is it really you?”
“It is.”
“Then… then what Aland said was true. You really were injured!”
Rhogan nodded, so very embarrassed to be uncovered for all the world to see. For Juliana to see. He could hardly look at her, seeing what he thought was her disgust reflected in her eyes.
“I was,” he said. “Juliana, there is nothing I can say to you to ease any heartache I caused you. As you can see, I have lost everything. My decision t
o go to France cost me everything. I ask nothing of you and expect nothing. But, in time, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be grateful.”
The hands came away from Juliana’s mouth as she struggled to digest the turn of events. With tears pouring down her face, she took a few halting steps to Rhogan, her eyes never leaving his face. For several moments, she simply stood there, looking him over, until her gaze moved to the dagger still sticking out of his shoulder. It wasn’t a big dagger, but big enough that it was lodged in his skin. It had certainly been big enough to tear her gown and cause her pain. Gingerly, she pointed to it.
“Your shoulder,” she whispered tightly. “You are injured.”
Rhogan had almost forgotten because the pain in his shoulder wasn’t nearly as great as the pain in his heart. He looked at the dagger and simply pulled it out, hardly flinching with the action. Tossing it onto the ground as blood seeped from the wound, his gaze returned to Juliana.
“You are more beautiful than I had remembered,” he murmured. “Tell me that you are happy. Tell me that what I did… tell me you forgot about me and have led a happy life.”
Juliana looked at him, seeing the scars but not really seeing them. It was strange; all she saw was the man she’d loved her entire life. Tears faded as she lifted a hand, laying it gently on his scarred cheek. He jerked at the action and tried to turn away, but she wouldn’t let him. She held him firm.
“Nay, I am not happy,” she said softly. “How could I be? You were gone. I told you that I would always wait for you, Rhogan. Even though I thought you’d married your princess, there was no one else for me. There never has been.”
Rhogan closed his eyes, his jaw ticking faintly as she touched his damaged cheek with infinite tenderness. He could hardly believe she had the stomach to do it and he tried to lower his head again, trying to protect her from the terrible vision of his injuries, but she wouldn’t let him. She put both hands on his face and refused to let him turn away.
The Nutcracker Reimagined: A Collection of Christmas Tales Page 16