Propelled by the thrashing heartbeat in her chest and an uncontrollable wish to see Monroe squirm, Kim crossed to the desk and tossed the painting on top of it.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded, sounding winded. “One partial conquest isn’t enough for you? You’d suck my best friend into your web, too? What I want to know is if you’re doing this to get back at me, or if you’re some kind of fiend? Sex fiend, maybe? I’d truly like to understand your actions. I’d like to know how far your lies usually get you.”
She saw her mistake as soon as she’d said those words. Monroe wasn’t alone. A woman sat in the leather chair beside the desk.
A chill ran down the back of her neck as Kim looked at the woman, who without standing up said, “You must be Kim McKinley. I’m Dana Monroe. Chaz’s mother.”
“I...” Words failed Kim. “Excuse me.”
She was really damn glad that the door was still open when she turned to rush through.
* * *
Chaz steeled his determination not to go after Kim, though he very badly wanted to. The blonde whirlwind had made his heart double up on beats.
“Feisty,” his mother said, eyeing him instead of the doorway Kim had fled through. “Witnessing that little tantrum was part of the reason you asked me to rush over here, I suppose?”
“No. Not exactly. But thanks for coming, Mom. Lucky for me you were headed across the street when I called.”
“Sex fiend, Chaz?”
“It’s a long story.”
“You’ve known her for how long, and she already knows your secrets?”
Chaz grinned. “Those kinds of things might be Rory’s secrets, but not mine.”
She waved a hand. “That’s the woman you’d like to keep?”
“She is good enough at what she does to occupy this office someday.”
“Yes, well, I hope she doesn’t talk to everyone like that, or I fear there won’t be any clients left.”
He shrugged. “She’s mad at me for being here, in this office, on this floor.”
“That’s all she’s angry about?”
“Possibly not. Again, long story. So, the party is still on?”
“Everyone loves a good party, Chaz, including me. Hand me that picture, and I’ll make some calls. I won’t be stepping on anyone’s toes by putting this together myself?”
“No toes.”
“This is all for her? For McKinley?”
Chaz lowered his voice. “I have a feeling it might be the first Christmas party she has ever attended. If I can get her there, that is. She has a sad spot that surfaces when the holiday is mentioned.”
“This is a goodwill effort on your part, then?”
“You could say that, yes.”
“All right.” His mother stood up and waited for Chaz to give her a peck on the cheek. “My sons know I’d do anything for them, and if it’s a goodwill mission, so much the better.”
On her way out, she paused to get in a longer last word. “You should probably spend less time with Rory. Whatever he has might be starting to rub off on you.”
Dressed as well as any woman of substance in New York, diamond earrings, fur-trimmed suit and all, his mother said her farewells and left. Alice filled the doorway soon afterward.
“I suppose you were eavesdropping?” Chaz said.
Alice made a zipping motion across her lips and tossed away an invisible key.
“I suppose you’ll be expecting a nice bonus, too, to keep that zipper zipped?” Chaz asked.
Despite the drama of the mouth-closing routine, Alice was able to speak. “Not necessary, since I’m only doing my job.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Chaz muttered as the door closed, sealing him off from some of the most enigmatic women to ever cross an office threshold.
As a matter of fact, he was starting to feel a little funny about that.
Now, he thought, turning back to his desk, if Sarah would call with that intel report on Kim, he might actually have a leg to stand on.
Big reminder here: he had only been in this office for a few days, and his mind had been hijacked for the last two by a woman he wanted to help as much as he wanted to...
Well, until Sarah called, maybe he could get some official work done, and be of use.
Glancing out the window, he smiled. “Hopefully, it will be a merry Christmas, Kim,” he whispered as the phone beside him rang and Sarah Summers’s number lit up the screen.
* * *
Brenda was waiting for Kim in the elevator and pulled the red Stop button once she had entered.
“I’ve been riding these things up and down for the last twenty minutes, changing elevators every five,” Brenda said.
“Thanks for the warning,” Kim managed to say before resting her head against the gray metallic wall. “Shall I warn you about him in more detail, Bren?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Actually, no.”
“You imagine I was born yesterday, or that I can’t read between the lines? I’m hurt that you’d think I could be a traitor to our friendship, which means more to me than this job.”
Kim smiled weakly, thinking about the tape recorder Brenda had given to Monroe.
“So, you’re going home?” Brenda asked. “To your mother’s house? Would you like me to come with you?”
“Thanks, but no thanks. You said yourself that it’s time I face my demons.”
“It’s the season for joy, Kim,” Brenda said. “You could wait until next month to confront those buggers.”
“I don’t think I have an option. It’s now or never, or this might never be behind me. I can see that now.”
They were silent as the remark soaked in.
“I won’t help him,” Brenda said. “I had Mark do the work, and promised that he would get the bonus.”
Kim nodded.
“They’re not all scoundrels, no matter what you tend to believe,” Brenda continued. “The fact that Monroe is attracted to you doesn’t mean he’s a creep or that he can help it.”
“You’re taking his side?”
“I’m presenting both sides of what’s going on without addressing what’s at the core of all this.”
“Which is me facing or not facing this damn holiday.”
“Yes, and it’s good that you know it.”
Brenda was right. She had gone along with this fear of Christmas for the past few years, always rallying for Kim and helping to protect her—until now, when the time for frankness and real concern had finally arrived.
“Possibly going home will help,” Kim said.
“If you need me, call.”
Kim pressed the button. Instead of the elevator moving, the door opened. Chaz Monroe stood there, a serious expression on his devastatingly fine, chiseled face.
Nine
“Jeez. You’d think there were only three of us in the entire building,” Brenda quipped, looking back and forth from Kim to Monroe.
“Will you please excuse us for a minute, Brenda?” Monroe said.
Kim stood very still, afraid to say more of what was on her mind after doing so in his office, in front of one of his family members. In all honesty, she didn’t feel angry anymore, anyway; she felt drained. Dealing with Monroe had already taken its toll, and it seemed that toll kept on climbing.
“Kim?” Brenda awaited word on what to do.
“It’s okay, Bren. I’ve got this.”
Without further protest, Brenda left the elevator.
The door closed.
Monroe faced her from a distance of two feet; close enough for her to reach out and touch if she dared to confront the feelings she had tamped down in an effort to retain her dignity and sense of self. If sh
e lost that sense of self, she feared what might happen. Would the past bring up trouble or be left behind in favor of something worse?
“I’m sorry,” Monroe said, out of the blue.
The apology surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to be so frank and straightforward, and had to distrust him, still.
More questions surfaced, like bubbles rising to the top of water, all of them concerning the man across from her.
If she were to start over, to leave the darkness in the distance, would she be setting herself up for a fall?
If she confessed to liking Monroe more than she should after knowing him for a mere two days—the same man that had teased her, kept things from her and then made her overheat with pleasure on more than one occasion—he might act upon that weakness and take further advantage.
If he realized how difficult it was for her to keep her hands off him, he might throw her against the wall and kiss everything from her lips to her berry-colored toes. Too much kissing, fondling and overheating sexually would mean that their relationship, however temporary, might fizzle equally as fast as it began. Flames this hot tended to burn out quickly. If that happened, her secret dread of ending up like her mother, holed up in a house and simmering in defeat, year after year, alone, would reappear as a possibility.
Tendencies for depression and mental instability sometimes ran in families, she had read. Though she had successfully avoided the symptoms, fear of them had more or less made her an emotional hermit.
The good thing—if there was a good thing to be found here—was that she knew how flawed she was.
“Sorry?” she echoed, wondering if Monroe was sorry for the pressure he was putting on her over her contract or the seductive heat he caused.
Did he regret last night?
“I know I have a problem,” she admitted, though the confession was difficult. “I’ve been trying to work it out, but it hurts me to do so. You’ll have to take my word that this isn’t some game I’m playing, and that I’ve protested the change in my contract in earnest.”
“Can we forget the blasted contract for a minute?” he said.
Kim glanced up at him from beneath her lashes.
“I’m not using you,” he went on. “I didn’t comprehend how serious this holiday thing was for you, and had to push for what the company needed. So I tested you, yes, but with good intentions, as I said last night.”
His expression confirmed his seriousness. The angles of his face were shadowed. He looked as if he hadn’t slept, as if he also had tossed and turned, going over the events that had transpired and regretting not being honest earlier.
Was the elevator to become a confessional booth for issues that could be addressed right then in the secluded space, with no one else present? Personal confessions?
“I need time to process problems in my past,” she said. “You’ve helped to make that clear, though I’ve known it all along. But because I might be vulnerable in my personal life doesn’t equate to weakness in my professional ethics. It’s just one thing that I need to deal with. Don’t you have something you’d like to leave behind, even though it might be tough?”
“Yes,” he said then added, “I’m sure everyone has something like that to face.”
“It’s easier when you have a family to back you up, though,” she said. “As well as enough money to buy a company where you can set your own rules.”
He took his time before responding. “There is a lot of risk involved with these investments. Not to mention stress,” he said. “This has been an extraordinary few days, and I’ll say one more time that I don’t want the company to lose you. Will you agree to stay after all is said and done? Will knowing you have your job help with whatever it is you’re going to do this week?”
Kim shook her head to hide the fact that the rest of her shook, as well. She felt something for this man, but wasn’t sure what. The sensations had come on too quickly, were too intense and all-consuming. Their relationship had started with anger and ended with heat.
Last night had been over the top, for as long as it lasted. Monroe’s body, his attention and his talents had caught her up, making her forget everything else that stood between them. But those moments of free fall had been ruined, and now she felt unsettled. The simplicity of an emotion like anger no longer fit or covered the situation. She wasn’t sure what did.
She lifted her gaze to the level of his chin. “I’m sorry I said those things in front of your mother. That was inexcusable.”
“I think my mother liked you. She called you feisty.”
Kim blinked slowly to block out the scene.
“We don’t have to talk now,” he said. “Do whatever you need to do to fix what you have going on. Just don’t count me as another problem to face, okay?”
“Are you offering to forget about the contract?”
“I can’t forget it in a potential vice president. I know you understand that, and that I have to do what’s best for the agency.”
“What is it you want, then? Friendship?”
“Yes, if that’s what it takes to keep you here. And no if I’m being completely truthful.”
Kim’s gaze rose higher. She didn’t want to be his friend, either, though that might not have been possible anyway, given the intensity of their connection. Despite trying to repress her feelings, she imagined what his hands would again feel like on her bare back, and how his lips might again sweep her away if she and Monroe dared to allow the sparks between them to dictate their future actions.
Kissing him last night had seemed right. In his arms nothing else had existed for a while, beyond two flames merging.
Now...
Now they were embarrassed and taken aback by their behavior, and he wanted to mend the situation.
“We are having the party,” he said. “It’s my family’s holiday celebration. I thought you should know that we’re going to utilize all the ideas you and I talked about in the bar, and more. You don’t have to be a part of planning, Kim, but I’d like you to attend.”
“As your disgruntled employee whose covert nickname is Scrooge?”
“As my guest.”
“I can’t commit to that right now.”
“Then you can give me your answer later. Maybe after a couple days off, you’ll accept.”
“Besides, I couldn’t possibly be welcome after your mother witnessed the drama in your office,” Kim said.
“On the contrary, my family thrives on drama. Trust me, you’d fit right in.”
Kim fisted her hands, ready to get away from him and the things still left unsaid. Confusion reigned. She wanted to take a step forward, yet she couldn’t allow it. She wanted to forget the past, but that past remained tied to her by a few tenacious threads. Relationship avoidance was one of them.
People got hurt if they fell hard and heaped love on one another, only to eventually have that love lost. Depression sometimes took over a lovesick soul. She had seen it happen firsthand.
She might like Monroe if she allowed herself to. She might have been able to love him someday, had the situation been different and she met him elsewhere.
“I’ll send you the details,” he said, bringing her out of her thoughts.
“You have a habit of refusing to take no for an answer,” she said softly.
“Only where it concerns me personally, and I feel as though I have a stake in the outcome.”
Of course, by personal, he was talking about his business, not about her. She had to keep that in mind. Monroe had to do what was best for the agency. His agency. Inviting her to the party was a final parting shot before sending her back to her cubicle.
He added, “If keeping you means hands-off, then that’s the way it will be. However, I’m not lying to you when I say that I’d like to kiss you right now. Hell, I’d like to
do much more than that, and take up where we left off last night. I will also tell you this, Kim. I have never invited a woman to my parents’ home. You’d be the first. My guest. Night of fun. Truce in place.”
She didn’t have time to reply, and wasn’t sure how to, anyway. The door opened with a whooshing sound. A wave of cooler air swirled around them. Kim didn’t move until the doors started to close again and Monroe stepped in the way, a move that brought him closer to her and ensured that she had to touch him when she left the elevator.
Kim’s motionless body brimmed with longing for the man she should be wary of. He was the boss, and she fully comprehended his problem with her. If getting the most out of the agency meant having management that oversaw every aspect of it, she was not that candidate.
Because she understood that, she also realized that Chaz Monroe wasn’t the bad guy here, after all. She was disappointed about the job, but her anger with him had been misplaced.
The doors started to close, pushing at Monroe’s wide shoulders. As she brushed past him, her left arm touched his. The charge that careened through her was powerful enough to bring on a gasp. The urge to turn to him, get close to him, walk right into the circle of his arms, was so strong, she stiffened. And in her peripheral vision, she watched his hands mirror hers, fisting so that he wouldn’t catch her, change his mind and throw her against the gleaming metal.
And how she wanted him to do that, in spite of everything.
She paused close enough to him to feel his breath on her forehead. Close enough that all she had to do was look up, and her lips would be within reach of his. The sensations running through her were blatant reminders that she really did feel something for this man.
“It should be easy to agree.” Her voice caught. She sought his eyes, her pulse thudding hard. “When doing so might solve everything for a while.”
“Maybe you will come to the party as a start toward a mutually beneficial future,” he said. “I’m rooting for that.”
He didn’t grab her or kiss her, though Kim felt the pressure of that imaginary kiss as if he had overpowered her completely. She nearly backpedaled into the tiny space to make sure he did; almost asked him for a repeat of the mindless hunger that every cell in her body craved.
The Boss's Mistletoe Maneuvers Page 11