by S R Dyble
I got to the door and just outside, I strolled across the porch and leant against the barrier to look down the beach to where the bonfire had been set up. I took a deep breath, wishing it was a gulp of vodka and made my way down the steps onto the beach. As I neared, I heard the music coming from the stereo they had set up by the drinks box. I smiled at a few lads as I passed, each of them staring at me like I was a foreign object wandering into their party. Their eyes swept over my body and they eventually smiled at me. I saw the back of Nick's head as he sat on a huge log placed around the fire. It was an impressive setup. Olivia was sitting to his side, along with some of her friends and as she turned to look around, she spotted me and I smiled. Her mouth dropped slightly as she eyed me up and down.
Fuck, this was a major outfit fuckup.
She was examining my body so much that I placed my hand over my stomach in a bid to cover myself. That was when Nick turned his head and caught sight of me. Instantly, he stood up and turned completely to take me in. I pulled at my cardigan, trying to cover my body somewhat. Although it was pointless, the damn thing was bloody see-through and served zero purpose other than looking dressy.
"Wow." One of Olivia's friends broke the silence.
"You look amazing," the other one said and I smiled at them, averting my eyes to try and avoid the awkwardness. Still and silent, Nick continued to stare at me and I decided to lift my hand to wave casually, which made him sit back down once he'd snapped out of his stare.
"Nice outfit, I have a bikini like that at home," Olivia smiled, coming to my side and linking her arm with mine. I thanked her as she led me to sit down.
"You made it," she said as I sat down on one of the large logs positioned around the fire.
"You said it wasn't one to miss," I commented, smiling at her.
As I sat twiddling with my ankle bracelet, Olivia made her way back around the fire to sit beside Nick who I did my best to avoid eye contact with. I could feel his eyes on me, just like I had for the last nine and a half months that I had completely blanked him. Shortly after, more of Olivia's friends joined and she started introducing them to Nick.
"These are my girls, you’ve met Frankie before, haven’t you?"
"I'm sure I remember her…” Nick eyed her, giving her a look that clutched at my chest. “I met her the other day on the beach," he smiled as she sat down beside him.
I frowned and rolled my eyes. I so wanted to crush the instant jealousy bouncing around my body. I already knew that Nick wasn't a stranger to female attention, but it hurt knowing I wasn't on the receiving end. Not that it mattered because Nick didn't reserve his attention for just one woman anyway. That I was sure of. Olivia stood back up to greet more of her friends.
"Oh, here are the guys," she said, bringing two guys with her.
I glanced at both of them, noticing how fresh they looked.
Nick got up, smiling at both of them before pulling each of them into a brotherly hug. I assumed this was Teddy and Sawyer by the way Nick moved over to greet them.
“Where the hell did you go, man?” one of them said and Nick nodded with a tight smile.
“Where are the rest of your bros?” the other one asked as he gently smacked his hand on Nick’s back.
“Ah, they couldn’t make it, unfortunately. It was a last-minute trip…” Nick explained.
“Tell me about it,” one of the guys said. “Olivia only called us down here yesterday,” he chuckled.
The rest of their conversation I couldn’t hear because the music had been turned up and so all I could do was glance at them every so often. I noticed them all looking at me in unison and both of the guys offered me a gentle wave and smile. It made me feel awkward as all of them stared at me, and I wondered what Nick was telling them. I waved back and looked away as Olivia came back towards us, now bringing someone else with her.
"Nick, you remember Omar?"
I looked around awkwardly waiting for Nick to greet Omar but instead, his whole body stiffened as he stared at him.
"It's been a long time," Omar said.
Nick nodded, then stared as Omar moved away and coincidentally took a seat beside me. As he did, I noticed Nick shifting to move towards us but Olivia grabbed a hold of his arm to pull him to sit beside her.
"Wait, you haven't talked to me about the UK yet!" she said.
Reluctantly he sat down, not taking his eyes off of me and Omar.
"Hey, I'm Omar." His voice was friendly and I turned to face him, his dark eyes and hair his main features. He was good looking.
"Lilly," I offered him my hand and he raised his eyebrows at me before shaking my hand.
"Wow, that's one hell of an accent you've got there."
I smiled and took a breath, "Thanks, I'm from the UK."
"That's very interesting," he said, making me blush as he tried to hide looking me over. Something about sitting on a log in only a bikini made me feel awkward so I slid onto the sand and used it as a back-rest instead. For the next five minutes, we enjoyed gentle chit-chat and I glanced over at Nick a few times only to catch his dagger stare. I wasn't sure what I was doing, and I knew I was being somewhat childish but it felt good to chat to Omar and make Nick mad in the process. He was surrounded by female company, all of them amping up their questions in an attempt to keep him interested. For whatever reason, Nick didn't like me talking to Omar, I knew him well enough to know that. I took another sip from the plastic cup I'd been given when Omar spoke about taking a walk down the beach. I agreed to go with him, feeling totally out of my comfort zone with Nick's friends and desperately wanting to get away. Then out of nowhere, Nick appeared from behind me and I felt his hands on my shoulders, almost pulling me up out of my seated position.
"We're going, it's getting late," he said.
I turned to face him, narrowing my eyes at him as his serious face dared me to defy him.
"Actually, I'm gonna take a walk down the beach," I told him.
This time Nick took my hand, gripping it hard so I couldn't leave.
What was his problem?
"Come on Nick, let her go. You're acting like a possessive boyfriend. You're not even dating, are you?" Olivia said from where she still sat beside her friends. Nick glanced back at everyone, their eyes all fixated on him holding me here.
"Exactly," I said, pulling my hand free and stalking away with Omar who had a head start.
Once we were a few steps away, I could feel some of the tension leaving my body. The bonfire party wasn't what I had expected, but I hadn't stayed long. It was probably for the best. I wouldn't have felt comfortable drinking any longer with people I didn't know.
"So, what's the deal with you two? Is he your boyfriend?"
"What, Nick?" I shook my head, "We're here as friends."
"He seems a bit protective over you."
"He has his reasons," I answered, wondering why I was defending him.
"He doesn't like you here with me, and that I understand."
"What do you mean?"
Omar led me to a dune where we could sit and admire the moon.
"I used to work for his father. Do you know about him?"
I nodded after the shock had subsided.
"I don't run with that pack anymore. I left," he told me.
I bobbed my head and stared up at the sky.
"What made you leave?"
"When the brothers left, things got a bit crazy. Usually, it was a business mindset, suddenly it wasn't that way anymore but a manhunt to find them. It wasn't that though, I left because I decided I didn't want to be a criminal anymore. That was it," he explained.
I nodded, thinking about Nick’s father’s need to find the brothers. I wasn't a stranger to how dangerous being close to the brothers was, but it reminded me of why Nick wanted to keep me safe. It reminded me of the price that had to be paid to have them around. If the threat that came along with Delta wasn't enough, we would never truly know that we were safe. Not while their father was still breathing.
I took a deep breath, trying not to stress about it.
"It's so beautiful here," I said, trying to divert my mind.
"Has Nick taken you to a waterfall yet? They're amazing in these parts of Australia."
"Waterfall? No, but I'd love to see one," I answered.
"Depending on how long you're here, I could take you."
I smiled and glanced away awkwardly.
"I'm sorry, we hardly know each other. That was probably too forward."
I agreed with him but didn't let him know, instead, I carried on smiling like a fool.
"I should get back," I said, standing up.
"Sure, I'll walk with you."
I thanked him and enjoyed his company on the way back to the campfire. It was hard to believe that a guy this nice had been a part of a huge criminal gang.
"Hopefully we'll get to spend some more time together before you leave. I'm staying with my friends here for a little longer."
I nodded. "Thank you for the… you know, the walk." I stuttered and winced at my awkwardness.
He chuckled. "My pleasure."
I made my way back over to the fireplace. Only, Nick wasn't there.
"Oh, he's not here. He stalked after you when you went for your little walk with Omar," Olivia said, sounding overly pissed off and very bitchy. It looked like my suspicions about her inner self might have been correct...
"That must have been a terrible blow to your ego, Olivia," I said calmly and took pride as all of the lads chuckled at the sight of her fuming face.
Omar had disappeared now too, so I decided to head back to the beach house. As I climbed the steps, I heard noises coming from the side of the house. It was a sort of banging. Then I heard shouting and for some reason, I followed it.
"Tell me where he is!"
I wasn't even sure what I was walking into because of the darkness to the side of the house, but when I saw Nick with his fists clenched around Omar's neck and slamming his body into the wall, my body froze.
"I told you, I don't work for him anymore. I cut that shit—"
"I don't believe you. No one just stops working for my father. Stay away from me and stay away from Lilly. Or I swear to God, I will fucking—"
"Nick! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I grabbed a hold of his t-shirt, the fabric ripping as I attempted to pull him off of Omar. He let go of his own accord and I stared at Omar as he straightened himself up, only to feel Nick's hand gripping mine hard as he began pulling me with him.
"Let go of me!" I yelled, pulling away from him but I was like an elastic band being pulled straight back.
He didn't speak and didn't let go until we were back inside the beach house.
"The fuck, Lilly? You've ripped my fucking t-shirt!" he said, pulling it over his head and revealing his perfectly built body.
"What the hell did you expect, you psycho?! What the hell do you think you were doing?!" I demanded, trying to face up to him.
"I don't trust him, he's hiding something," he said simply.
"You just assaulted him!"
"He's a scumbag, and the sooner you realise that the better. He needs to stay the hell away from you."
He began fiddling with things on the kitchen counter, trying to act casual.
"Wait, you did that to keep him away from me?"
"My job is to protect you, and I had to question him. He could be a lead to my father—"
"To protect me? Don't use me as your excuse, he barely even spoke to me!"
He looked up at me, his body language changing instantly.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" I asked.
When he didn't answer, I scoffed, ready to storm away. I was done with this, I turned on my heels and began storming towards my bedroom when he caught up with me and pushed me against the wall, encasing me there and stealing a sharp breath from my body.
"You won't let me near you, won’t talk to me, but you’ll happily swan off down the beach with him."
"We just went for a walk, you're acting crazy!" I said through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, you’re right because you drive me fucking crazy. This fucking bikini is driving me crazy. You flirting with Omar right in front of me, what the hell was that about?"
"I wasn't flirting with him! What do you care, anyway? Let go of me!"
"If you only knew—"
"I don't have to listen to this! This isn't fair. After everything you did to me you—"
"Tell me what I did to you. Say it."
"Say what?"
"Tell me what I did, I wanna hear you say it."
"You're fucking mental!"
"Tell me, Lilly."
"Why?!" I began crying and I hated myself for it. It only fueled my anger more. "You want me to tell you how you ripped my fucking heart out of my chest?"
"Yes," he said, staring at my face as I cried and tried to avoid his eye contact.
He loosened my hands and they fell down my sides as he stared at me.
"Because at least now I know, there’s still some hope that I may still have it..."
"My heart?" I wiped my drenched cheeks furiously. "And you can fucking keep it! I don't want it. I don't wanna hurt anymore."
I shifted quickly, now released from his arms holding my hands over my head and I pelted for my bedroom, locking the door behind me and sobbing some more as Nick banged on the door for me to open it.
The next morning I'd packed all of my stuff and just needed to grab what was left in the bathroom. I sighed, looking about the room. I wasn't sure what drama was waiting for me on the other side of my door, so I prepared myself for the worst and picked up my bag. I made it to the bathroom without being bothered, until I turned around to see Nick standing in the doorway. I tried to walk past him, but he held his body perfectly still within the frame, so I couldn't pass.
"Running away again, are you?" he asked.
My mind suddenly shifted to the last time I had run away from Nick. The night I'd come round to profess my stupidity to him and had seen him fucking the cleaner. How dared he bring that up.
"I'm leaving, if that's what you mean," I said, trying to be civil.
I managed to squeeze myself out of the bathroom and away from him. As I walked down the hallway, I knew he was following me.
"Then I'm coming too."
"No!" I turned and snapped much louder than I'd planned.
Without meaning to, my hand had pelted him in the chest and he didn't even look fazed at all.
"Yes," he said calmly, pissing me off all the more.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm pushing you away, now's the time that you back the hell off and piss off."
"Look, the way I see it, we either fly home together today, or I take you scuba diving like I planned."
His answer had totally knocked my balance and I stared at him, at a total loss.
"Have you forgotten what happened last night?"
"I'm trying to. Maybe you should do the same," he said, staring at me.
"So, that's what we're doing now? Just pretending nothing has happened?"
"I don't know, honestly, Lill'. I just know I wanna take you out, now will you let me?"
The longer I stared at him, the deeper I fell into his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes. I snapped out of it and avoided the need to smack myself in the process. This was a total head-fuck.
"No. I'm not doing this with you anymore, Nick. This game. I don't know what you want—"
"I want you..."
My eyes snapped back to his and I shook my head, feeling tears threatening.
"I want you to know how sorry I am. I want you to know how I'm feeling and to believe me," he said as he began walking towards me. "And if I have to follow you back across the world to be where you are, that's what I'm gonna do. No more avoiding you and giving you space. I'm not gonna do that anymore."
As he neared, he reached out his hands to wipe away my tears with his thumbs.
"This doesn't fix anything," I said, gently moving
his hands away.
"I wouldn't ever expect anything to be so simple with you, Petal."
I looked away, knowing his smile was enough for him to make me think otherwise.
"Please come swimming with me," he said, not taking his eyes off of me.
I didn't look at him but kept my head down. I had no idea what I was going to do.
"Come on, Lill', I'm starting to look pathetic. Think of my ego."
I couldn't help but smile but did my best not to let him see it.
"You can't hide that smile from me, Petal."
I stared up at him, the words ringing through my chest and clenching at my heartstrings.
"There's something my brother said to me before I came here with you..."
"Kit?" I asked and he nodded.
"Heal the bond, I think he said… Swear he thinks he's some type of Jedi Knight now with unlimited relationship wisdom."
I smiled, trying not to laugh.
"So anyway… that's what I'm gonna do. I know it's not gonna be easy, but I have to heal things between us, Lill'."
He took steps towards me, stopping just before my feet.
"I'm serious, Lilly. You need to know..."
"Know what?"
"You'll see. Or I'm gonna die trying to show you."
"So, how do you propose to show me this thing that I ought to know, but don't?"
"That's a good question," he said.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?"
"Nope. You know why?"
I shook my head, staring into his eyes.