She's been crying…
"Jake?" Holly leant forward. "More pizza?"
"Uh, thanks." He took a second slice, cursing silently. He didn't want to get involved. He wouldn't go there. After all he wasn't exactly in a good place himself.
Understatement of the year.
I'll just join in and behave myself. Pay my dues to Scott and Holly. After all I do owe them.
Holly got up and moved to sit on the floor at Scott's feet, leaning back against him. Scott idly stroked her ponytail, twisting it in his fingers.
"Okay, this game is called Dilemma," Emily announced. "You'll see why when I read out the questions."
Jake sighed and closed his eyes briefly, barely paying attention as Emily read out the rules. He wanted to escape, to crawl back into his pit and stay there. All this cosiness was making him feel worse.
"Soooo.… first question," Emily said. "Your best friend gets a haircut. You absolutely hate it. When they ask you what you think, clearly looking for reassurance, what do you say?"
"That's easy, you make fun of them and tell them to get their money back," Scott said.
"I agree," Jake added. "Why tell a friend a haircut suits them when it doesn't? It's plain wrong, you're not doing them a favour."
"No, it's not." Emily frowned. "If they're going to be stuck with that haircut for a while you don't want them feeling bad about themselves for the whole time it's growing out."
"So you'd lie?" Jake asked, engaging despite his best intentions.
"Yes." Emily pursed her lips together. "White lies to make people feel better are okay."
"And the next time they have a hair appointment you can say something like how much you loved their hair when they had layers and a fringe," Holly said.
"Exactly." Emily leant forward. "You can always find a way of accentuating the positive."
Jake snorted. He couldn't help it it, it just came out. Emily seemed to have this effect on him. Not to mention the knack of really winding him up.
He met Emily's glare head on, feeling that invisible cord pulling him towards her. Like locking horns.
Why couldn't he just let it go?
Because it matters.
He certainly wasn't going to apologise.
"Oh God, I forgot. We're supposed to be feeding Max." Holly twisted round to look up at Scott. "Sophie texted me earlier this evening, they're stuck at the hospital with Luc's dad."
"Who's Max?" Jake asked.
"Sophie and Luc's dog." Holly replied, getting to her feet.
"Would you like me to come and help?" Emily asked.
"No, it's fine, I'll take Scott. You two stay here and carry on without us, we won't be long." Holly smiled and tugged at Scott's hand to pull him up.
Jake glanced sharply at Holly. Had that been a smile or a smirk? She wouldn't invent a hungry dog and a hospital trip, surely? Yet this had the decided whiff of a set-up about it.
And now I'm trapped.
"What about the pizza?" Scott protested.
"Don't be silly darling, you can't feed pizza to a dog." Holly practically dragged Scott out of the room.
Jake was fairly sure that hadn't been what Scott meant. And that Holly knew it.
Maybe they're just trying to get some time alone.
He turned back to Emily who was flicking through question cards.
"I admit I tuned out when you read the rules but I'm fairly sure you can't choose you own questions." Jake tried to stretch out his bad leg, grimacing and gritting his teeth with the pain.
"I wouldn't have had you down as a stickler for the rules," Emily murmured. "Most of these questions are about whether you're prepared to steal stuff. You know, you find a ten-pound note, do you hand it in or not? You scrape a door mirror and no one sees you - do you drive off or not? All really silly. I mean for that last one surely everyone would answer that they'd leave a note with their insurance details."
"Of course they would." Jake allowed himself a full eye roll. "I'd really like to live in your world Emily."
"I didn't say they'd actually leave a note, just that they'd say they would in front of other people. There's a difference." Emily narrowed her eyes. "Okay so here's a question almost tailor made for you Jake - you're an athlete and you've been offered sponsorship in return for endorsing a product you hate. Do you take the sponsorship?"
"Of course you do," he snapped.
"What, just like that? Don't you have any scruples at all? It sounds like you're happy to tell the truth if it hurts other people but not if it hurts your own interests." She leant forward on the rug, fingers tightly entwined in the pile, breathing hard. He felt the stirring of desire but anger squashed it back down.
"Have you any idea how hard it is to get sponsorship?" Jake stood up, winced and then lowered himself down onto the rug next to Emily, reaching out for the question card. "Did you make that question up?"
"No I didn't, it's here, look." Emily thrust the card into his hand.
"Hmm." Jake glanced at it. "Well, aren't we having fun?"
Emily snorted and burst out laughing.
Jake laughed too, surprising himself. It felt…nice. A definite relief to be expressing some kind of emotion. Yet despite the laughter a painful tug in his chest reminded him that taking the lid off his feelings could be very dangerous indeed.
"Do you want to play something else instead?" Emily's voice cut through Jake's thoughts.
He looked up. Now they were closer it was even harder to ignore Emily's obvious attractions. Her skin glowed in the firelight and her hair shone gold. She smelt utterly delicious. For a moment he allowed himself to imagine how it would be to lose himself in her soft curves, to immerse himself in someone who wasn't him for a change.
Pre-Accident he would've made a comment by now about what sort of games they might play. He may even have kissed her by now, and snaked a hand up beneath the hem of her jumper dress.
He stared at her smiling lips, slightly parted to show a glimpse of dark pink tongue. Waiting for him to name the next move.
Then he met her eyes, shining and full of naive innocence.
If I sleep with her she'll want to fix me.
Abruptly he rose and sat back on his armchair. "We could just watch a DVD instead. Do you want more pizza?"
Emily drew her knees up to her chest, hugging her body. What on earth had just happened there? It'd almost seemed like he wanted to kiss her. For all of ten seconds.
And I'd wanted to kiss him. Stupid. Stupid.
The last thing she needed was another man cluttering up her life. For all the fantasizing about guilt free sex with ski instructors the next stage in Switzerland was supposed to be about finding her feet.
On her own.
So no one has the power to blow my life up again.
And fantasy sexy ski instructors were all very well but when the reality turned out to be a grumpy ogre intent on undermining everything she said it should've been easy-peasy to resist.
Should've been but wasn't.
She gritted her teeth. It wasn't great for the ego that he'd apparently had no trouble resisting her. Discovering she'd been second choice for so long hadn't exactly left her ego in great shape to begin with. It might've been nice for Jake to be interested so she could have the morale boost of turning him down. She'd do it gently of course, explaining she was just out of a relationship.
Not that she was so sure he deserved gentle anymore.
"Emily, did you want more pizza?"
She jumped, aware he'd been watching her the whole time.
How mortifying.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry." She stood up and walked to the shelves where DVDs were stacked. "What sort of film do you want to watch?"
"Nothing Schmaltzy."
Jake's reply annoyed her. If she was feeling down she needed something upbeat to try and pull herself out of it. It felt like he was deliberately undermining her coping strategies.
"I suppose you'd rather watch people massacring each other?"
She glanced back over her shoulder.
"What's wrong with that?" Jake was steadily munching through the pepperoni pizza.
"At the moment it seems a very tempting option, I can see the attraction," she muttered.
"Sorry?" He asked.
"I'll pick a thriller." She swallowed down her irritation. She was going to be nice if it killed her.
Blast it, she was going to be nice if it killed them both.
Jake packed a few things in his rucksack, wishing the pain in his leg would let up for an hour or two. The prescription in his coat pocket was a temptation but he didn't want to get hooked on the good painkillers. So many friends had gone down that route and become dependent on them in order to carry on competing. It really wasn’t a path he wanted to take.
"Okay mate?" Scott looked up from his laptop. "Still trying to tough it out on paracetamol?"
Jake grunted.
"So, what do you think of Emily?" Scott asked. "I'm under orders from Holly to find out."
"Well she's pretty enough," Jake admitted, "And under normal circumstances she's the kind of girl I'd go for, she’s got a great figure."
"Do I sense a 'but'?" Scott watched as Jake finished his packing.
"It's all that positivity," Jake grimaced. "It makes me want to go stick my head in a snowdrift."
No matter how grumpy he was with her she never got the message and just kept on being so bloody perky and nice! He didn't want people to be nice. In his recently darkened world anger was the only thing holding him together. Let in 'nice' and he might completely fall apart.
And if that happens I'm not sure I'd be able to pull myself together again.
"Emily's okay." Scott shrugged. "She's a nice girl."
There was that word again - nice. Couldn't Scott see he wasn't up to coping with nice?
"You're determined to set us up, aren't you?" he asked.
"Yes," Scott replied bluntly then grinned. "Well Holly is, anyway and I think it's a good idea."
"I'm not sure I'm in the right place." Jake grimaced.
"Bullshit." Scott scoffed. "You're in exactly the right place. You need cheering up and you need distraction. All you've got to think about right now is physical pain and what the injury's cost you. A bit of time with a top girl like Emily could be exactly what you need."
"Are we going to find the mountain hut decorated with candles?" Jake raised an eyebrow. "Fur throws in front of the roaring fire and condoms left out on the side?"
"Nope," Scott replied. "You really are test driving the experience before we let paying punters loose on the mountainside. And you are doing us a favour, helping us work out any potential kinks."
"Hmm." Jake fixed his eyes on Scott's face, searching for signs he was lying. He wanted to be useful, to pay his debt to Scott. Sponging wasn't his style.
"Seriously, what's happened to you is the pits but if you've got nothing else to think about it will drive you crazy. You’ve got to keep busy. Take it from someone who knows."
Jake met Scott's eyes, he knew Scott must be thinking about his sister's death. Maybe he did know what he was on about.
"But she's so…so smiley." Jake pulled a face, making Scott laugh, as he'd intended it would. He needed to break the uncomfortable intensity, to dispel emotions already stretched taut. Emotions he wasn't ready to verbalise.
"She's had a really tough time you know." Scott said. "She’s had a bad shock, she could probably do with some…distraction too."
Really? Miss Ray-of-Sunshine was another charity case? He'd assumed she was a friend of Holly's stepping in because…because why? He hadn't even bothered listening properly to be honest.
Face it, you've been so busy thinking about yourself you didn't even bother to ask. And you've been a complete bastard to her ever since she got here.
But he hadn't asked to be set up, had he? Still, Scott and Holly had been really kind to him. They'd known how utterly bloody remaining in the training accommodation would've been for him. He owed them.
"Don't worry, I'll play nice." Jake sighed.
Nice.
The very word stuck in his throat.
In the living room they found the Emily and Holly waiting for them. Jake made a show of checking the map, spread out on the table. He knew where they were going but he couldn't meet Emily's blue-grey eyes. Whenever he did it felt like she could see straight through him and something about her stirred up emotions he didn’t want to face.
"We'll drop you at Pierre's, it's his skidoo you're borrowing." Scott said.
"You have got those thermals on I gave you, haven't you Emily?" Holly asked anxiously.
"Yep, don't worry. With your old Salapettes and ski jacket I'll be fine. I'm tougher than I look," Emily replied brightly but twisted the strap of her rucksack in her hands, winding it tighter and tighter.
"Of course. You'll be perfectly okay. Jake's an experienced guide, he knows the mountains and it's not like we're sending you anywhere too dangerous. Dead clients wouldn't make good players," Scott joked. "Hmm, maybe we should make sure they pay up front."
"Don't Scott." Holly batted him on the arm. "Don't listen to him Emily, there's a wood burning stove at the hut to light a fire in. You're really just playing at being adventurous. You know, it’s a chance for all those city types to escape from the modern world."
"It'll be fun." Emily smiled but there was something artificial about the smile, her face appeared rigid, as though locked into position.
At least she seemed up for anything. She hadn't complained about the lack of electricity in the hut for her hair straighteners. Although he doubted she was the hair straighteners’ kind. Her strawberry blonde hair was wavy, borderline messy. Okay so she was cute. And hot. In other circumstances…
Pain throbbed in his leg and he tried to ignore it. Even the prospect of a trip couldn't dispel the black mood that had settled on him like a thick cloak, smothering and shrouding his thoughts. He wanted to be difficult. It gave him a perverse pleasure to be difficult, to see Emily try harder and harder to be nice to him.
He ignored the uncomfortable twist of guilt in his gut. This wasn’t him. Not really. And it wasn’t fair of him to take it out on Emily.
"Jake will look after you." Scott said.
"I can look after myself," Emily replied, irritation flashing in her normally gentle eyes. "I've been camping before. How hard can it be?"
At least the irritation felt real. Honest.
What would it take to make her snap? Jake mused. How hard would I have to push to get the real Emily?
Why do I care? Why does she bother me so much?
Because I want something real from her, not all this tiptoeing around me and fake politeness.
Jake suppressed a sigh. "If we've got everything we need we'd better get going so we can get to the hut before dusk."
He wondered if he ought to take a walking stick, but it would be awkward to store on the skidoo. Pride kicked in, he'd manage without it.
"Are you sure this is the right way?" Emily asked, raising her voice over the sound of the skidoo. The flying snow had already got her in the face more than once and she suspected Jake of doing it on purpose. He was driving like they had a pack of armed Bond villains chasing them. He cut the corners deliberately so she had to hang on for dear life.
To one side of them the mountainside fell away, thousands of metres to the valley below. And there were no barriers.
"Yes," Jake barked back, not turning round.
That roller coaster ride wasn't the only thing making her uncomfortable. Jake's athlete-toned thighs were far too close to her own softer flesh, even through bulky Salapettes. She'd tried to clinging to the back of the skidoo, wanting to avoid touching Jake but in the end she'd had to grab him around the waist, deciding staying alive was more important than her pride.
Holding him felt intensely intimate. Unwelcome stirrings of desire tormented her. She gritted her teeth, hating that the feel of him against her chest and between her legs was turnin
g her on. He'd made his contempt for her very plain.
Am I trying to make myself miserable? Why else do I keep falling for men who don't want me?
She sighed.
Note to self. Next time try falling for someone who actually likes you back.
Falling for…
Was she really falling for Jake?
The skidoo cut the next bend as though the Bond villains had opened fire on them. She squeaked and was forced to cling on to him. Was he trying to humiliate her?
If I fall off I'm taking him with me.
Really, she itched to give him a good slap. She was making such an effort but he could barely bring himself to be civil. They had to spend time together so why not do the socially polite thing and be nice?
Also, she appreciated he was a slalom skier and speed on bends would generally be considered a good thing but this time he had a passenger. Taking risks on someone else's behalf was not on and she damned well planned on telling him so.
Or maybe not, won't I be playing straight into his hands by acting to the bizarre girly stereotype he's assigned me?
Briefly she closed her eyes.
Think about something nice.
She visualised a cosy cabin with a blazing fire, ignoring the fact she'd be sharing that space with Jake, his belligerence no doubt spiking her while his attractiveness continued to provoke desires she didn't want to acknowledge. What was the point of admitting she fancied the pants off him? He clearly couldn’t stand her. She risked being rejected all over again and really, she couldn’t face that.
She wasn't falling for Jake.
I refuse to.
The throbbing sound of the skidoo engine cut out as they came to an abrupt halt that flung her hard against his back.
"Oof." She exhaled deeply, relieved she no longer had to worry about falling off into the snow. She opened her eyes and slid quickly off the skidoo into deep, untouched snow, keen to move away from Jake. Relieved and strangely disappointed at the same time.
Crap.
"Nice driving," she muttered. "I hasn't realised we were running for our lives."
"You think that was fast?" Jake laughed and she suppressed the urge to punch him. "I was taking it slow for your sake."
Chalet Girl Plays Cupid: (A Free Short Story) (Ski Season, Book 6) Page 3