Marlena couldn’t force a frown, so great was her happiness. “I’ll take that. We’re staying!” She sat back on her heels and shivered. “Ooh! You’re soaking wet.”
“How did you manage to stay dry?” Jess returned.
“When Val found me, he brought me here and started a fire before going back out for you. I changed into some dry clothes from my valise.”
Jess nodded and turned to Val. “Why did you come for me on Achilles?” Both horses walked around the inside of the cave so she could see there was no injury to his mount.
“My horse is skittish during thunderstorms. I didn’t want to have to fight him.”
“Hmm,” Jess mused. “I’m surprised Achilles let you ride him. He doesn’t usually like men. Mr. Murdoch is really the only exception. Until you.”
“Maybe he senses I mean him no harm,” he suggested. “Maybe he was just as worried about you as I was and was anxious to get to you.”
Jess watched Val’s eyes crawl over her face and she held the collar of the duster closed over her throat. Concern creased his features at the action.
“You have to get out of that dress, Jess, if you want to survive the night. I don’t think that fire is big enough to dry it completely for a while. Is every layer soaked?”
She shivered and raised an eyebrow at him. “If you think I’ll strip down in front of you, think again. I believe I’d rather freeze.”
Val shook his head and turned his gaze on Marlena. “Does she always think the worst of everyone?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh, good. I was worried it was just me.”
Marlena giggled and Jess’s features fell in sheepishness. “I’m sorry, Val. You didn’t deserve that. What you did for us tonight…I am indebted to you.”
He leaned forward and pinned her with his stare. “Jessica, you saved everyone’s lives at my brother’s ranch last year, including mine. I would have bled the ground with my last drop if it weren’t for you. The way I see it, I am indebted to you.”
The way his eyes bore into hers created more heat inside of her than the fire. For the first time in five years, she felt the warmth of a blush bleed into her cheeks and she scooted closer to the fire and stuck her palms out. After a long moment, she looked up to find Val still studying her face.
“Let’s call it even,” she finally said. He didn’t nod. He didn’t answer. He just stood and walked over to her, reaching down a hand.
“Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes,” he said and Jess recoiled from his touch. He laughed. “Stop reading into everything. I’ll hold the duster up to block you from my eyes. Strip out of your outer layers and lay them out to dry. As soon as you’re ready, pull the jacket back on over you. I won’t see any bare inch of you, I promise. I only take advantage of women who want me to.” When she continued to feed him a skeptical look, he lost his smile. “You can trust me, Jess.”
If it weren’t for the constant trembling of her body, she would have refused, but she knew the dangers of remaining in her sodden dress. She couldn’t tell if her corset and bloomers were wet. Cold was cold, and that’s all she could feel. Finally, she nodded and stood, turning her back to him.
His hands grasped the collar near her neck, and she felt the brush of his fingertips over her collar bones as he pulled the jacket off of her. A quick glance over her shoulder showed that he did as he said. The jacket was held up as a blanket in front of him and she hurriedly unbuttoned her bodice. Marlena came to her aid and helped her strip out of the wet top and skirt. She pulled the chemise off next until she stood in only her corset and undergarments.
She ran her hands over the thin fabric and was pleased to find it was only damp and not drenched. After laying the dress on the ground near the fire she went to the jacket and threaded her arms through the sleeves again. She made sure it was buttoned up to the chin before turning around again as she pulled her long blond hair out of the collar to fall down her back.
“Thank you,” she said and his eyes went wide.
“That may be the first time I’ve heard those words come out of your mouth.”
She smirked softly. “That may be the first time you’ve earned them.”
He chuckled and went back to sit before the fire. She watched him as he tried to stifle a shiver, and she frowned.
“What about your clothes? Have you anything dry to wear?”
“I’ll be all right. The fire will dry my clothes easier than it would all of your layers.”
She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. One glance at Achilles and an idea came to her.
“I may not be able to lend you a jacket,” she said as she walked to her horse. “But I’m not without resources.”
Achilles followed as she led him by the reins until he stood behind Val. She petted his muzzle before stepping back and holding her arms out wide. The horse’s stance stiffened. Next, she knelt down on one knee. Achilles mimicked her and went to his knees.
“Good boy. Down, down.” She chanted until the horse rested on his belly with his legs folded beneath him. When he had completed the command, she went and stroked his head between the ears. “You can lie against him, Val. His body heat and the fire should keep you warm.”
He gave her that soft, boyish grin again and she felt her knees weaken. “That’s some trick,” he said.
She returned to her seat across from him and stretched her hands out to the heat. Her eyebrow arched when she looked at him again. “Not only Juliet’s girls have tricks, Val.”
Chapter 17
Val stared at the two sleeping bodies curled beside one another, and he smiled. Two blond-headed beauties with no one to rely on but each other. Memories of his years with Morgan flooded him, but the only thing they’d been running from was grief, and they’d been grown men at the start of it. He couldn’t help but wonder what horrific element of the girls’ past had made them so afraid, and the words Jess screamed when he’d tried to collect her still haunted him.
No, you’re dead! Followed by that same bone-chilling fear in her eyes.
The fire spit and crackled as he tossed a few more bits of deadwood on top of it. Marlena adjusted in Jess’s arms before falling back into a deep, untroubled sleep. His eyes focused on Jess, the slight part of her lips, the pool of light hair spread around her, the slight twitching of her eyelids as she slept. She looked exquisite, yet fragile, like a porcelain doll. The thought of someone producing fear in a person so strong set his jaw to clenching.
When he was satisfied they were both asleep, he unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. His skin tingled at the first touch of the cool air, but as soon as he lay back against the horse, he felt the animal’s warmth spread through him. Achilles shifted his head and rested it on Val’s shoulder. The hot breath from his snout curled over Val’s chest, and he reached up to stroke the animal’s face.
Thunder growled overhead and Jess’s arm jerked. Her forehead creased, and he watched as her mouth began to move over the soft, indiscernible mumble of her voice. Her eyelids twitched frantically and her breaths came in quick, shallow pants. It was obvious she was in the throes of an unpleasant vision and he fought the urge to go to her. He felt his insides curl, wondering what she was reliving in her dreams. Someone had hurt her, and badly. He knew that much, and it was that thought that carried him into a long, restless night.
When he finally awoke, he was lying flat on the ground covered with his duster. Achilles stood nearby, slurping rainwater from a puddle near the mouth of the cave while Marlena cinched his saddle. He sat up and reached for his shirt, pulling it on as he wished her a good morning.
Marlena turned a bright smile onto him. “Good morning.”
“Thanks for putting the duster over me.”
“I didn’t. Jess did.”
He looked around the cave. “Where is she?”
“There’s a hot spring nearby. She’s washing her face and hands.”
He stood as he buttoned his shirt. His back ached from
the hard ground. A long soak in a hot spring sounded ideal, but he’d have to see the ladies back to town first. “Did her dress dry?”
“It dried enough. It’ll be fine for the ride back. You needn’t worry about us from here on out. Jess was anxious to get back to town while it was still early. I was to meet her with Achilles once he was saddled.”
He frowned. “You two would leave without telling me?”
She shrank and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I didn’t want to, but Jess…well, she…”
“Yeah, I get it,” he said, the disappointment in his voice clear. “Now the danger has passed it’s back to the same old Jess, is it?”
Marlena’s eyes grew wide and apologetic as Val stomped toward the mouth of the cave. “Stay here,” he told the girl sternly as he followed Jess’s tracks to the spring. It was time the woman learned a lesson in manners. She was vicious and tempestuous unless she wanted his help. He wouldn’t stand for that kind of treatment any longer.
She was kneeling at the edge of the pool, her back to him. He could hear the gentle slosh of the water as she rinsed her arms. Her hair fell down her back and almost touched the dirt. He stopped three feet behind her and crossed his arms over his chest.
“So, run off at the break of dawn without a word, huh? Is that the gratitude I get?”
Her head snapped up, but she didn’t turn around. “I…didn’t want to disturb you,” she said, her voice hesitant and slightly panicked. “I thought you needed the rest. It didn’t look like you slept much.”
“No, I didn’t,” he snapped. “My heart was in my throat all evening trying to get you both to safety. You don’t come down from that kind of adrenaline easily. How do you think I would have felt to awaken with you gone? Good God, Jessica. I thought we turned over a new leaf last night. Am I really so awful you must treat me like a speck of dirt on the bottom of your boot? Turn around and face me, dammit.”
Her face dropped into her palms as she shook her head. “You’re not awful, Val. It’s me. I’m hideous. ”
He flinched, and chewed on the inside of his cheek. “You don’t have to be that way, Jess.” His voice softened. “Nobody dictates your behavior, but you.”
She laughed sadly, and shook her head again. “I’m not talking about my behavior.”
He scowled at her back. “Now, you’ve got me. I don’t know what in the blazes you’re talking about.”
He heard her take a deep breath and release it before she slowly came to a stand. “I’m talking about this,” she said, turning to face him.
His eyes fell to her throat, and the thick line of gnarled, bulging scar tissue running from ear to ear across her neck. He couldn’t fathom such violence, such brutality. His stomach contracted against the sudden nausea snaking through him. His voice was as void as his thoughts while his gaze traveled the scar back and forth before finally meeting her unreadable stare.
“Who did this to you?” he whispered. He breathed deeply as his hand swiped through his hair. “Jesus!”
“No, it wasn’t Jesus,” she said, biting her bottom lip.
He glowered at her. “Don’t joke about this.”
She shrugged. “If you don’t laugh, you cry, right?”
A deep ache tugged at his heart as her words moved through him. He watched the play of emotions shift through her face. There were no tears or self-deprecation, only uncertainty and regret. She hadn’t wanted him to see this part of her. Now, it all made sense – the hats, the fear, the endless running.
“Are you running from the person who did this to you?” he asked.
“No,” she said as she walked past him and worked on plaiting her hair. “He’s dead.”
He shook his head, not understanding. “Then, why do you run?”
She turned and met his stare. “Because I killed him, and they want to hang me for it.”
“Why would they hang you for killing in self-defense?”
Her sigh was deep and troubled. “Because he was my husband, and there’s no such thing as self-defense for a wife.”
A sudden pressure built behind his eyes and he rubbed them with his fingertips while he tried to process all of the newfound information. He rubbed and rubbed until they began to itch. Then, he shook his head and studied her again. Her face was blank, a complete mask as she observed him closely.
“I never would have figured you to marry someone capable of that.” He nodded to her neck.
She looked shamefully at the ground before meeting his eyes. “I never would have either.”
His head shook slowly back and forth. “Then why? Why did you?”
“Because I loved him, or at least I loved who I thought he was. He changed once he got what he wanted.” She crossed her arms over her chest and walked back to the edge of the spring. Her voice was hollow as she stared at the water. “That’s what love does. It blinds you, numbs your intuition, corrupts your thinking and strips you of your will. It takes your strength and turns it against you. It humiliates you and fills your soul with poison, bleeding you until you shrivel up and your backbone finally breaks.”
He couldn’t process the overwhelming sadness pulsing through him, pulsing through her. Her words were spoken from a place of darkness, a place he couldn’t understand, a place he was thankful he’d never visited. His only examples of love were his deceased parents and Morgan with Lila. Both sets of marriages were full of a deep, tender and self-sacrificing love and respect. No hint of anger or coercion ever plagued them.
Pity stole into him, and he stepped behind her. “You’re wrong, Jess.” His voice was soft and low. “Love doesn’t tear you down. It builds you up. It won’t enslave you, but free you. What you experienced…what you survived…that wasn’t love. That wasn’t your husband loving you. It was him breaking you.”
She said nothing, nor did she turn around, but he watched the rise and fall of her shoulders quicken and heard a soft sniffle every other breath. He longed to gather her in his arms and hold her close, but his gut told him it wouldn’t be welcome in her condition. So, he took another step closer.
“But he failed,” he said, and her head turned so he could see her profile. “You are not a broken woman. You are strong and courageous, and by far the most admirable creature I’ve ever met.”
“You’re wrong, Val.” Her voice was choked. “He did break me. The strength you see, it doesn’t come from me. It comes from Marlena. If not for her, I would have happily laid down to die.”
“But you didn’t. You didn’t lay down to die. Marlena didn’t raise you up. You and your own will did. You know how strong you are, Jessica. I don’t have to tell you. It’s there in you every day. It’s in your eyes, in your confidence. It’s in that damn pout you always do when you’re determined to get your way.” He laughed softly. “Oh, no, Jess. You are definitely not broken. But you are bruised.”
“I don’t want your pity, Val,” she sniffled.
“You have it anyway.” She looked down again. “But you should know I give my pity freely, much more than I should, really. What I rarely part with, and what I give you completely, is my respect.”
All of his former irritations toward her vanished, all of the judgment and doubt of her character, all of the fury over her conduct. There was a redemption that came with the knowing, but there was one more piece nettling him, something that had begun to ring clearly as her story unfolded. He took a deep breath and asked the question on his mind.
“I look like him, don’t I?”
She finally turned and pinned her red-rimmed eyes on his. “A dead ringer.”
Chapter 18
Jess cringed as she replayed her conversation with Val in her head. She couldn’t curse him for seeking her out at the spring. It had been rude and low to try and sneak out on him after all he’d done for them. Anger she could accept from him, but not his damn pity. She resented pity more than anything, and couldn’t stomach the thought of his mischievous eyes sagging with sympathy every time they met.
After a quick washing, she relinquished the warm bath water to Marlena and put on a simple brown skirt and a button up white blouse. She decided to keep the store closed for the day. They could use the uninterrupted time to work on orders and besides, she really had no desire to put on her chipper façade for the public. The night’s events and her morning conference with Val had sapped all cheeriness from her.
When a knock sounded on the shop door, she crept to the entry of her sitting room to peek out, not wanting to be seen. It was Val, so she quickly let him in, locking the door behind him. He removed his hat and ran a hand through his dark hair.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “Is everything all right with Achilles?”
“He’s fine,” Val said. “I wanted to see –”
“Shhh!”
Jess covered his mouth with her hand and pushed him against the wall, plastering her body against his. She watched the figure of Mrs. Burnbaum peek through her front windows and she leaned closer into Val, her head pressed into chest. The knob on the door shook beside them, catching on the lock and Jess was relieved she’d turned the bolt after Val entered.
Mrs. Burnbaum tapped her knuckles on the door in quick succession. Jess met Val’s curious stare and shook her head. The persistent woman knocked several more times before finally surrendering to the silence and stomping away in a huff. Jess’s shoulders relaxed and she blew out a breath as her eyes shut. Val’s hand slid up her back under her hair to massage the back of her neck. Jess gave herself one moment to enjoy the warmth and calming effects of his touch before she pulled back and removed her hand from Val’s mouth.
Desert Sunrise (Love in the Sierras Book 2) Page 12