by Megan McCoy
“Boss man lets me off the farm once in a while,” Candy said, with her signature warm humor. “I needed a girly day, haircut, and some shopping. Got a few minutes? I’m going to get some girl things, because its girl day, if you want to come with me?”
Liz hesitated a second, but why not? Matt was out working on fence, and then was taking a group of clients out for an afternoon of fishing and boating around the lake. He wouldn’t be home till suppertime. They had one more day and night alone before Ben came back.
“Yes, I do,” she said, simply. She wouldn’t mind getting to know Candy better, at all. She needed a girlfriend. Her boss and future mother-in-law would not be her first choice for friend, but she really desired a closer relationship with her.
“Good! There’s a new lingerie shop on the next block. I need to freshen up my wardrobe,” Candy smiled and ran her fingers through her freshly cut and styled short blonde hair. Liz felt a short sharp pang of envy. Candy was everything she wasn’t. Adorably sweet, pretty, young, yet ran an entire ranch with an ease she didn’t understand. Had the big boss man obviously madly in love with her, so much so that he married her, and let her do what she wanted with a ranch he’s run for almost thirty years. Candy could pull back a beer with the ranch hands, or sit and sip tea with the ladies that lunched. Like Matt, she seemed to have no flaws. Had she fallen into some weird version of Stepford here? One day would she, too, be perfect and have a perfect life? All she could do was hope.
“How do you like ranch life,” she asked awkwardly, hoping it didn’t sound stupid.
“Love it here,” Candy said, falling into step with her, as they headed down the block. “I grew up in small town, and vowed I’d never go back. Lived in Chicago most of my adult life, then came down here for a break one summer, fell in love, and ended up staying.”
“That’s like a fairy tale,” Liz sighed.
Candy laughed, “Oh, yours is the same! Single, struggling young mom goes on a vacation with her family. Meets hot cowboy. Ends up on ranch.”
Liz looked at her, “Well, it wasn’t really that easy.”
Candy hooked her arm in Liz’s and whispered, “Neither was mine.”
“Hard to imagine,” Liz said, feeling astounded. Candy just made everything look easy.
“Oh, Liz, I’m far from perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes and learned so much from every one. That’s the key, you know. Learning. Well, and trusting. It’s hard to trust these so very alpha Lyon men, but it’s very worth it when you do.”
Liz pondered as they walked down the street. Did she not trust Matt? Sure she did. She wouldn’t have moved her kid in with him if she didn’t.
Candy continued, turning into the store, aptly named, Liz thought, Silky Secrets. “I don’t know much about Matt, really. Or Blaze for that matter. Sometimes I feel badly I chased them out of their house, though.” She giggled and blushed and Liz could barely believe it. She’d not seen this side of Candy before.
“I don’t think they think you chased them out of their house,” she said, looking around the store. Lingerie shop? Yeah. No. Well, there were bras and panties in here, some nighties, but a whole lot of other things too. Toys. Books. Magazines. Oils and lubes and wow.
“Well, I wouldn’t blame them if they did,” Candy said, breezing through as if she’d been in dozens of times. “They were all playing bachelor nation in the office building till I showed up. I think I showed Blaze more female anatomy than he’d ever seen before when he walked in on Jeb and me once. Oh, look!” She wandered over to a display of panties and Liz followed her. She’d browsed on line, naturally, but she’d never been in a store quite like this before.
There were some booths in the back but she felt quite certain she didn’t want to go see what, or who, was in them. But the rest of the store was light and pretty, even if there were underwear and…were those paddles on the rack? She knew she had to be blushing and then turned another shade of red as Candy started swooping up panties.
“Look!” She crowed. “Jeb’s going to die laughing!” The pair she held up had writing across the back, and it said ‘It’s not going to spank itself!’ Another had a target on it, right in the center. Oh, my. She hadn’t thought she was a prude, but this was kind of weird. Panty shopping, sexy panty shopping, with the woman who might be her mother-in-law at some point in time. The idea of big, stern Jeb Lyon dying laughing over a pair of panties was disconcerting at best and simply weird at worst, or even an ick.
The idea of Candy scooting over his lap, bottom up, to show off her ‘spank itself’ panties was also weird. Beyond weird. Something else. Disconcerting? She wandered away from the spanking panties to look at some other things. Okay, this could be a fun store, if she were by herself. Right now, all she was though, was totally uncomfortable, even if Candy seemed to feel happy and relaxed. Giggling like a kid and gathering a pile of flimsy delicate underthings, she steered them to a gathering of what looked like riding crops. Not that they ever used them on the horses at the ranch, but most people knew what they looked like.
“Wouldn’t Jeb have a ball with one of these,” Candy cooed, picking one up in the hand not holding all her other items.
Liz couldn’t think of a thing to say. Not one. She simply walked away to a rack of books against another wall. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She wasn’t naïve by any stretch of anyone’s imagination, but she simply couldn’t imagine coming in here and buying books like these. Girl and girl. Boy and boy. Oh for freaking sake, was that a dog? No. Simply no.
“Candy, I need to leave. I have an appointment. You enjoy your shopping!” Liz squeaked out, and gave her a wave as she headed toward the door.
“Aren’t you going to pick up anything? You and Matt could have so much fun with something like this.” Candy’s eyes danced in delighted humor as she held up something oddly shaped and bejeweled. A butt plug? No. No.
Liz shook her head and kept on moving. She was never going to be able to look at Candy again. She wasn’t a prude and wasn’t uptight, but that was just one strange encounter. The last thing she wanted to think about was the woman who was basically one of her bosses and could be her mother-in-law wearing panties that said ‘it’s not going to spank itself’ on the rear. No. Where was the brain bleach when you needed it? Probably sitting on one of the shelves of that store, that’s where it was, and would just stay there because she wasn’t going back.
Picking up her pace as she walked out the door, she pretended not to see the lady whose teeth she just cleaned half an hour ago, walking in. Who’d rambled on about her two kids and the joys of being a soccer mom. You just never knew what was going on in people’s real life and she knew she didn’t want to. Half an inch deep was deep enough for her and her knowledge of other people’s lives.
Once she got in her car, Liz sat for a second and thought. Turning the key and backing out, she couldn’t imagine a life without Matt. Sure, sometimes he spanked her. She didn’t like that, but as he pointed out, she wasn’t supposed to like it, unless it was for fun. But he was adorable and hot, and took very good care of her and of Ben. He took to step-daddyhood easily. She loved him.
But she didn’t want to tell people she lived with her boyfriend. She didn’t want Ben to have to say ‘this is my mom’s boyfriend’ when he introduced Matt to his teachers.
She wanted to be married. The store had made her feel sleazy, and so did living with her boyfriend. Obviously she was an old fashioned girl at heart and needed the traditional trappings of a traditional life. How pathetic did that make her? What would Matt think? Was he ready for that? Was she even brave enough to tell him? She needed to think of a plan, but she suddenly realized she wasn’t willing to ‘just’ live with him forever. Not sure what was going to happen from here on out, for some weird reason she felt a sense of peace. Married or nothing. She was allowed to want what she wanted from her life and that was it. But it wasn’t a today thing. She could contemplate and figure out the best way to get what she wanted�
��what she needed. She could. Was this what her antsy upset feeling had been about last few days? Yes. It really was.
That was good to know.
What was she going to do about it? Think on it? That would probably be the smartest thing to do. Then she could figure out a plan for her life—and hopefully her marriage.
Chapter Five
Liz stood and stared out the window. Ben should be back today. She was ready, more than ready. Yesterday had been gorgeous. Lovely breeze, warm sunshine. The weather today was miserable, though. Rainy, windy, cool, dark, and nasty wet. Summer in Illinois. Don’t like the weather? Wait ten minutes and it will change.
How was Ben doing on the back of a horse out in this? The mommy in her shrieked with impatient worry. Rain pelted down on the short gravel driveway and paved road out front. The roses in the little raised beds, in front of all the cabins looked wet and sad. Maybe she should go bring some in, brighten and smell up the house. Nothing smelled better than roses. Or she could let them grow and stay in and stay dry. She needed to do something, though.
Her plan for today was to wait for Ben. She had his favorite chicken and rice dish in a crockpot. She’d throw some fresh corn on the cob in the slowly simmering pan when he got here. She had fresh sheets on his bed and his game thingy was fully charged. She had done her mommy duty. All she needed now was her kid.
They were an hour late already.
Matt was still working and she all but shook with nerves. Ben was fine. She knew he was fine. Why wouldn’t he be? Blaze had assured her, everyone had assured her, that he’d been doing this camping trip multiple times a summer for years and hadn’t lost anyone yet. Her kid wouldn’t be the first one he lost. They would all be okay. She was just being a silly worried mom. She knew it.
Still, she wished Matt were home. She wished Ben were home. She paced around the house. Okay. What could she do? The house was fairly clean, nothing needed done. But she needed to do something. Rain still poured down, so she couldn’t go work outside with the roses or go play in her beloved herb garden.
She could go to the barn and get on a horse. Go for a ride. Figure out where the kid would be coming from and head that way. Horses didn’t care about weather, but Ben would care she was being a crazy mom. He would care a lot. She just needed to chill here till he showed up.
Alcohol. She could self-medicate with that. When she had that beer with Matt, she wondered why she didn’t drink more. So maybe she should. Why was he not home yet?
Grabbing her phone, she texted Ben, “Hey, it’s raining! Want me to come get you at the barn?” That was upbeat and light hearted enough. If he was close or his phone wasn’t dead, he should answer soon.
Where was her blender? She’d just make a lovely drink for herself and for Matt. Matt would be home soon. Pulling out her laptop, she rummaged around and found a recipe for a wonderful basil mojito. Oddly enough, she had all the ingredients. She’d have to go out and pick some basil leaves, but since she wasn’t sugar, she wouldn’t melt in the rain. The rain might even cool her nerves.
She’d make a cocktail for Matt, and for herself. That would make the time waiting on Ben pass a little more peacefully. Calmly? Something. Take the edge off her, anyway. She knew she really needed the edge off.
Throwing ice in the blender, she added the rum, soda, lemon, lime, and sugar, then hit blend. What the hell was muddle? She had no clue how to muddle the basil and less desire to google it. Her Internet was being wonky anyway. Why did recipes think people knew words? She just wanted alcohol in her body now. Muddle. Opening the top of the blender she threw the basil in. Blend was probably the same as muddle, right?
Who cared? She wanted a cold drink, her kid home safely and Matt to show up and reassure her.
Listening to the blender grind the ice, she paced and waited and stared at her phone. Nothing from Ben yet. She could not deal with this. Pouring a big glass full of a lovely, though rather green drink, she stuck a straw in it and took a long sip.
Ack! That was bad. Obviously muddle was not blend and this didn’t taste like anything she wanted to drink. No matter her nerves. Pouring it out, she refilled her glass with ice water and took a big gulp to get the taste out of her mouth.
Grabbing her phone again, she texted Matt “You home soon?” Innocuous. He didn’t need to know she was panicking. Ben was almost two hours over due and she hadn’t heard from him in days. Days! What mother could deal with that? None. Cleaning out the blender, she decided she’d go down to the barn and greet the returning group. Matt was still working. Food was crock potting and simmering. She had nothing to do but be upset and worry about her kid, and why not do that down at the barn?
At least there was always something to do at the barn. She could brush a horse, clean out a stall, or polish up a saddle. Physical exertion. Good plan.
Looking at the rain, she grabbed a jacket from the closet, feeling like a wimp. Her kid was probably wet and cold and wanting to be home to a hot shower and chicken and rice. And his mom. Had she packed him a rain poncho? Had he packed one?
Where was he and why was he so late? Liz texted Matt again. “Heading to the barn. Going to wait for Ben.”
Hitting send, she pulled on her rain jacket and pulled up the hood. Opening the door to the pouring rain, she stepped out and slammed into Matt.
Wet and hard, and rain dripping off his hat and poncho, he grabbed her and pulled her back inside. “Hey, baby,” his deep voice rumbled in her ears. Her favorite sound in the world right now, it was. She grabbed him, and snuggled into his most welcome body. She had her raincoat on, who cared if he was wet? She needed him more than she needed to be dry.
“Matt, Ben is almost two hours over due. I can’t deal. I have to go find him!” She hoped her voice didn’t sound as desperate and squeaky as she felt. “What if he’s in a ravine like Holly and Meredith and I were? Matt! I need to go find him!”
Matt pulled her closer, holding her hard and close. “He’s okay, Liz. I’ve never lied to you and I never will. Trust me.”
Liz took a deep breath and forced herself to relax against him. “I believe you, I do trust you, but Matt, I’m scared” She knew she was wailing but she couldn’t stop herself. “They are hours late and the rain is nasty bad and I just need him home.” His body felt very comforting against her. Yes. This she liked. Her head snuggled up on his shoulder. She felt safe here.
“Okay. Don’t freak out on me, stay calm,” Matt lifted her chin with his hand so she looked in his eyes.
Liz immediately panicked. That safe thing didn’t last long. No. And no. “What!” Struggling in his arms, she needed a release. Something. “What?”
“Candy sent Cody out earlier to make sure the camping group was okay and to warn them about the storm coming. We keep an eye on the weather, you know. He rode up on an ATV and made it back a few minutes ago. Everyone is fine, but they stopped and camped out for the night,” Matt said, stroking her back. Liz arched into his touches. Yes. This.
But no, not that.
“If he could make it back, why couldn’t they?” she whimpered.
“They could have but Blaze made an executive decision to stop before the rain. He could tell there was a storm coming. Cody affirmed it. They set up camp, close to a big hunting cabin we have up that way, and got everyone fed and settled in for the night before it got bad. Horses are sheltered and everyone is comfortable in the cabin, probably having a blast. Better than being on the trail while its storming. Thunder can spook a horse and a tenderfoot, and that’s not a good combination,” Matt continued to stroke her back while speaking.
Liz pulled away. “Maybe I should go get him. I could borrow the ATV and go…” her voice trailed off as she saw him shake his head. “No?”
“Imagine how Ben would feel if his mommy showed up to rescue him from a safe, dry cabin with everyone else still hanging out there, enjoying the night. Don’t forget, my kid is up there too. There’s really nothing to worry about.” He pulled her close into a hug,
but she shoved him away. For some reason, she just really needed to see her kid. She knew he was okay, safe in a cabin with the friends he’d made and met this week, but she wasn’t good at all.
“I still want to go get him, or go stay with him tonight. If you won’t take me up there, I’m going myself!” She felt like a two-year-old having a tantrum. Was it the sip of bad mojito? Maybe. Or her mommy nerves or a combination of both.
“No. We aren’t going. It’s pouring out there. He’s dry and safe. Cody asked if anyone wanted to go back on the ATV. He didn’t want to. If we go get him, we will all be miserable and I can promise you he’ll be pissed.” Matt said it slowly, as if he were trying to control his temper. She’d not seen him lose his temper before. Maybe it was time. He stood still and looked at her.
“I’m pissed,” she said, and planted her feet, glaring at him. “Who is more important? A moody teenager who’s going to be pissed about something anyway at some point or me?”
“What are you pissed about?” he asked, as if he were really curious and didn’t understand.
“That you are stopping me from seeing my kid,” she wailed, and put her hand up like she was going to shove him. But then stopped herself and looked at him, appalled. She hadn’t said that, well, she said it but didn’t mean it. He wasn’t stopping her from doing anything. But her nerves were beyond her control right now.
Matt seemed to know just what to do about that.
Taking one big step toward her, he grabbed her arm, sat down on the couch and pulled her over his knee. Immediately she knew what he was going to do, and began fighting him. Hell, she wasn’t going to take this.
“No!” She shrieked, twisting and trying to roll off his lap. He tipped her over to one knee which made her nose almost hit the floor and she scrabbled with her hand to keep herself from falling. Locking her legs down with the other he smacked her hard. “I don’t want a spanking!”
“Tough. You’re getting one. And you’ll thank me later,” he smacked her again.