Brides of the Kindred Volume One

by Evangeline Anderson

Lifting his head, he scented the air. The faint, sweet smells of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry wafted to him on the warm evening breeze. They were barely there and he was sure a human couldn’t have smelled them. But his heightened Scourge senses detected them at once. He had been wandering in circles—Lauren’s shop was somewhere very near.

  He turned down an alley between two buildings, following his nose, when a sudden soft cry of distress caught his attention. Xairn stopped, frowning, and looked around. There it was again—a sound like an animal in pain. But he had seen no animals in the immediate vicinity of Lauren’s shop. None but the mangy black canine that had begged at their table during lunch.

  I don’t have time for this. I need to speak to Lauren. But he turned toward the sound anyway, following the cries that seemed to be getting weaker and weaker even as he listened.

  He found the animal not far from the place they’d had lunch. He couldn’t remember the name of the restaurant but it didn’t matter anyway. There was a large, green metal trash receptacle around back of the building and the black dog was crouched behind it.

  Xairn knelt on the grimy pavement, oblivious to the dirt staining the knees of his trousers and the rank odors assaulting his nose. The female dog was crouched in a ball, wedged as far back as she could go behind the trash receptacle. She was curled up around something he couldn’t see and panting harshly, as though in pain. Every time she shifted the high, painful cry he had followed was drawn from her.

  “Here girl. It’s all right, I won’t hurt you,” Xairn murmured in a low, coaxing voice. Kneeling lower, he reached for her, trying to draw her out from behind the dirty bin. The dog snapped at him weakly and gave a warning growl. Clearly she didn’t trust him and Xairn didn’t blame her. She was obviously wounded—probably she’d been struck by a passing vehicle—and he was a stranger.

  He supposed he could shift the trash receptacle—it looked quite large and heavy but he was much stronger than a human. It would be the work of a moment to get it out of the way. But she was injured and it would be cruel to make her run from her position of safety. Still, he couldn’t just leave her to die—could he?

  That’s exactly what I should do, he thought darkly, sitting back on his haunches as he stared at the wounded dog. What am I doing, trying to save an injured animal when I ought to be on my way out of here, away from Lauren forever?

  Suddenly the dog let out another cry—a long, liquid howl of pain that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Forgetting his resolve to leave, Xairn put his shoulder to the far side of the green receptacle and pushed. He was careful not to move too quickly—he didn’t want the wounded canine to feel cornered, he just needed a little more room to get to her.

  But he needn’t have worried about the dog trying to run. As he exposed her hiding place she gave one last painful whimper and went still. Xairn reached for her anyway but her still-warm body was limp under his hand. He was too late—she was dead.

  He sat back again, surprised at the rush of emotion that overcame him. The moment when Sanja had died came back with a painful clarity that took his breath away. The way the light in her beautiful brown eyes had been extinguished, the dead weight of her body in his arms as she obeyed his final command…it was all so fresh and painful. Again he felt his eye stinging, though no tears came. He had none left. Not after that horrible day.

  Well, there was nothing more he could do here. He was about to stand up and leave the filthy place when a new movement caught his eye. Was the dog still alive after all? Crouching down, he watched as a small bundle of black fur detached itself from the animal’s side and struggled out onto the pavement.

  A tiny black puppy no bigger than the palm of his hand came into view, and Xairn understood. This was the reason the female had snapped at him and also why she’d been curled into a protective ball. She’d been shielding her young, trying to protect her little one from what she perceived as a threat. She had died trying to keep her baby safe—protecting it to the last.

  The puppy fell over then staggered to its feet unsteadily. Its eyes were open but it still looked very young to Xairn. It turned and nudged the limp body of its mother, crying pitifully. When the black dog didn’t move, the puppy pawed at it anxiously. The helpless, hopeless gesture seemed to do something to Xairn’s heart.

  “She’s gone, little one,” he said roughly. “Gone where you cannot follow. I’m sorry I couldn’t help her.”

  The puppy turned to the sound of his voice and wobbled over to him unsteadily. Xairn started to put out a hand to it…and then withdrew. What business did he have with such a tiny, weak thing? He was Scourge through and through—he had proved it himself this afternoon with Lauren. His urges pushed him towards violence, not compassion. Inside his head he seemed to hear the voice of his father hissing, “Only the ssstrong deserve to sssurvive.” He should go now and leave the tiny thing to its fate—that was the Scourge way, was it not?

  Then the puppy nudged his knee with its nose and gave a small yip. When Xairn looked down, he saw it staring up at him hopefully with big brown eyes just like Sanja’s. It pawed at him gently and yipped again as if to say, “Well? Aren’t you going to pick me up?”

  Somewhere inside his heart a knot that had been tightening suddenly loosened. Reaching down, he scooped up the puppy and held it to his chest.

  “It’s all right, little one,” he murmured into the silky black fur as the puppy reached up to nuzzle against his neck. “Your mother is gone but I’ll take care of you.”

  * * * * *

  Lauren looked up the moment the door to her condo opened. Xairn was standing there with a haggard look on his face and something cradled in his arms.

  “It was my fault,” she said, jumping up and running over to him. “All mine. I shouldn’t have pushed you that way, shouldn’t have tempted you. I’m so sorry—”

  He took a step backward, his eyes widening with surprise. “You’re not angry with me?”

  “No, if anything I’m angry with myself.” Lauren put a hand to her head. “You asked me not to push you but I did it anyway. I’m so sorry, Xairn I just wanted…just wanted to be close to you. But I didn’t mean to make you, uh, lose control.”

  “The fault was not yours.” He shook his head, frowning. “It was all mine. I can’t control my Scourge nature, my urges are too dominant even with the human DNA I got from you. I…I came to tell you that, Lauren. That I can’t trust myself with you so I need to go.”

  “No, don’t go!” she exclaimed, grabbing his arm. The thing he was holding, which had looked at first like a scrap of black fabric in the dim light, shook itself and made a sleepy, inquiring sound. “What’s that?” Lauren asked, almost surprised enough to forget her anxiety.

  “A puppy.” He sighed. “I know I’m no good for it—any more than I am for you. But its mother—the black dog you fed at lunch—died after being struck by a car. I’m sorry but I had to take it. I…was unable to leave it behind.”

  “Of course you couldn’t leave it!” Lauren tried to take the puppy from his arms but it growled and snapped at her finger with tiny white milk teeth. Then it nuzzled closer to Xairn and leaned up to lick at his cheek. “Oh my.” She laughed. “Looks like this is a one person puppy and I’m not the one. He’s bonded with you already, Xairn.”

  “It’s a she,” he said wearily, sitting down on the couch as he cradled the puppy in his arms. “And she does appear to have poor taste in masters.”

  “No, she doesn’t.” Laurens sat beside him, careful not to touch, and looked earnestly into his eyes. “Please don’t go, Xairn. We can work through this—I know it.”

  “How can I work through what I almost did to you?” he demanded. “I had you pinned to the table, Lauren. I was about to rape you—do you understand that?”

  Lauren felt a rush of heat go through her at the memory of being pinned and helpless beneath his big body but she pushed it away. Surely what had almost happened between them shouldn’t turn her on, so she refus
ed to think about it.

  “No you didn’t,” she said, shaking his head. “You never would have done that—you stopped yourself just in time. And anyway,” She felt her cheeks grow hot and she had to look down at her hands. “It…it wouldn’t have been rape. Just, uh, really rough sex.”

  “You weren’t ready for me. You were frightened.” He looked at her. “Don’t try to deny it, Lauren. I heard it in your thoughts.”

  “You…you did?” She put a hand to her throat. “But how…?”

  “I don’t know. Just as I don’t know how I was able to make that stupid male you used to employ stop in his tracks and come back to me when he was intent on running away this afternoon.”

  “You made Lorenzo do that?” Lauren whispered. “I thought he just didn’t want to lose face. That he came back to prove he wasn’t afraid of you.”

  “He was afraid all right,” Xairn said grimly. “I could feel the fear coming off him in waves. But he had to obey my spoken command—he had no choice.”

  Lauren shook her head. “But how? Why? I don’t understand. The only other person I know of who can do that is—” She stopped abruptly but Xairn finished for her.

  “My father,” he said grimly. “I appear to be growing more like him every day. Just as my dominant urges are growing stronger and stronger every day.” He ran a hand over him face wearily. “I’m changing, Lauren, and not for the better. Which is why I need to leave now, before I hurt you. Before I do something we’ll both regret forever.”

  “You’re not going to do that,” she insisted, trying to keep her voice firm, trying to make herself believe. “And besides, you can’t leave—not now.”

  “Oh?” he raised an eyebrow at her. “And why not?”

  “Two reasons.” Lauren ticked them off on her fingers. “First, a local girl was taken not far from here. I saw it on the news tonight.”

  Xairn frowned. “I’d forgotten about that but I saw it too, this morning. She looked—”

  “An awful lot like me,” Lauren finished for him. “Xairn, what if your father is still searching for me? What if he thought that girl was me?”

  He shook his head. “That thought crossed my mind as well but there’s no way he can find you—your DNA has been altered.”

  “But what if he’s looking?” she insisted. “Please, Xairn—you can’t leave me with this fear hanging over my head. Who else can protect me? Who else will even believe me when I tell them what’s going on?”

  She looked up at him hopefully. She hated to play the ‘please protect me, I’m a helpless girl’ card but there didn’t seem to be much choice if she wanted to keep him. And God, how she wanted to. She couldn’t let him go—just couldn’t.

  Xairn sighed deeply. “You’re right. I can’t leave while you may be in danger.”

  Lauren felt the knot of anxiety which had been building since he first ran out of the Sweet Spot loosen in her chest. “Thank you,” she said in a trembling voice. “Thank you for giving us another chance. And I swear we can work this out.”

  “No.” Xairn shook his head. “That’s not going to happen. I’ll stay here with you and protect you on one condition—no more physical contact between us. At all.”

  “None?” Lauren felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under her. “Seriously, not even casual touching?”

  “Casual non-sexual touching doesn’t work for me.” Xairn looked away from her. “I can’t help myself, Lauren. If I touch you—in any way—I want you. And, as I think I proved to both of us this afternoon, I can’t be gentle in my desires.” He shook his head. “If I can’t touch you gently then I don’t want to touch you at all. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” Lauren’s heart felt like a brick which had sunk to the bottom of a muddy pond. Well, at least he’s staying, she reminded herself. And as long as he’s here with me, there’s still hope. Hope I can change his mind. Hope we can work through this and still be together. “I love you, Xairn,” she said, looking into his eyes earnestly. “If this is what it takes for you to stay with me, I’ll agree. I can’t promise to never touch you again but I’ll try not to, uh, provoke you the way I did this afternoon.”

  A look of mingled relief and regret filled his ocean-colored eyes. “Thank you. And thank you for not…not hating me. As I hate myself.”

  “You shouldn’t,” Lauren said softly. She wanted to hug him, to take away the pain she saw in his face. But that was forbidden now, so she contented herself with looking into his eyes. “I could never hate you, baby. And you need to be a little easier on yourself. You can’t change what you’ve always been overnight.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll never be able to change,” he said darkly. “Though the Gods know I would if I could.” He sighed and shook his head. “You told me there were two reasons I couldn’t go. What is the second?”

  Lauren smiled at him. “Because you can’t housebreak a puppy in space.” She pointed at the furry bundle in his arms. “Look, she’s proving my point right now.”

  “What? Oh!” he exclaimed, looking down at the spreading wet spot on the front of his shirt. He looked up at Lauren ruefully. “I guess you’re right.”

  “I know I’m right.” She nodded. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and then we’ll see if there’s a Petsmart still open. We need to get some food and a flea collar if this little girl is going to stay.” She looked more closely at the puppy which was still snuggled comfortably in his arms, apparently unaware that she’d just wet all over the one who had saved her. “What are you going to name her, anyway?”

  “Little One.” For a moment Xairn’s face lost its look of misery and he almost smiled. “Her name is Little One.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  “You’re sure about this?” Sophia looked at her uncertainly but Nadiah nodded her head firmly.

  “This is the only way. I need to see the dream through to its conclusion or that stupid Detective Rast will never believe me.”

  “I just hate to leave you to have, well, nightmares.” Sophia twisted her fingers together in obvious agitation. “It seems wrong to leave you alone when I hear you screaming.”

  “I’m sorry.” Nadiah laid a hand on her arm. “If it bothers you I can get a guest suite tomorrow. But I feel really strongly that this is what I need to do.”

  “No, no—we don’t want you to leave.” Sophia shook her head quickly. “I just…have a hard time letting someone be in any kind of pain if I can stop it.”

  “Just think of the pain that poor girl will experience if we can’t get to her in time,” Nadiah said darkly. “My fear is nothing compared to what she’s going to be going through if I can’t stop her abduction.”

  Sophia nodded reluctantly. “I suppose you’re right. Well, if you’re really sure…”

  “I am,” Nadiah said firmly, even though her heart was drumming behind her ribs. “Truly, Sophia.”

  “Okay then. Good night.” With one last uncertain look, Sophia closed the bedroom door, leaving Nadiah in the dark.

  She sank back on the warm, comfortable bed and stared up at the shadowy ceiling. She couldn’t explain where her sense of certainty came from—she just knew this was the right thing to do. Even if it meant suffering through horrible nightmares, she needed to see what the Sight was trying to show her. She had to give in to her gift, even if it meant giving herself up to the terrors of the night.

  Of course, it was going to be hard on Sophia and Sylvan to hear her yelling in the next room. Nadiah promised herself that she would move into a guest suite as soon as possible. The idea of waking up in a strange place all alone in the dark after a horrible dream was awful but wasn’t fair to ask them to put up with her bloodcurdling screams.

  She’d been sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep but before she knew it, Nadiah’s eyelids drifted closed and her breathing became soft and even.

  Then she had the dream…

  She was flying in the high, blue sky of Earth but not in body—in spirit. She knew because she could
n’t see herself when she looked down. Just lots of green trees and grass and those strange man-made outcroppings the humans lived in called “houses.” Nadiah still thought it must feel strange and exposed to live on the surface of the planet instead of safely underground in a grotto, but she was intrigued by their dwellings just the same.

  Soon she found herself hovering over an especially large white house with a neatly trimmed lawn. There were expensive looking cars in the driveway but it was the back yard that drew Nadiah’s attention. There, two children were playing. Or rather, a child and a young woman, she realized after looking more closely.

  The young woman had long auburn hair that was blowing in the warm summer breeze. It sparkled like rubies in the sun. She was pushing the little boy—who looked to be eight or nine—high into the air on some kind of play set.

  “Higher!” the boy cried, pumping his legs as he soared toward the sky where Nadiah hovered, watching. “Swing me higher, Jessie!” His eyes were bright green in the sunlight and his hair was golden brown and tousled as though he’d been playing hard.

  “Any higher and you’ll flip over, kiddo,” she said, laughing. “Mom’ll kill me if you break your neck.”

  “Sing the song then. Sing and swing. Sing and swing,” the boy chanted.

  “All right.” Jessie took a deep breath and began, singing to the rhythm of the swing.

  “Swing me up a little bit higher,

  Obadiah, do.

  Swing me up a little bit higher,

  Say you love me too.

  Swing me over the garden wall,

  Tie me up so I’ll never fall.

  Swing me up a little bit higher,

  Obadiah, do!”

  Nadiah was enchanted by the quality of the girl’s voice. It was and rich and melodious—utterly enthralling. It was no wonder the little boy liked hearing her sing.

  He loved her voice and her long red hair, she thought, watching the two of them together. She smelled like fresh cut flowers. She meant everything to him but she’s gone now. She’s been gone for years. Somehow she knew that the scene she was viewing wasn’t something that was happening now, nor was it something that was yet to come. No, the vision that was coming to her at this moment was of the past of more than twenty Earth years ago.