by Tony Healey
The Krinuans had offered them sanctuary there on Krinu. They could stay if they wanted. Though Jessica had no desire to do any such thing, she knew it was not her place to make that decision for her crew.
She’d decided to let them know the offer and make up their own minds. Stay in paradise or continue to tramp through the stars on the thin hope that a way to get back home would be discovered.
I’ve got to admit, there’s not much to offer them, she thought as she made her way into an area of cultivated garden. There she set her cane against the side of an ornate bench and sat. It was becoming more difficult for her to get around.
She massaged the bottoms of her legs. Her feet were numb, a sensation she’d not quite gotten used to yet. They seemed to hang from her legs, cold as ice, heavy counter-weights against her desire to be free of her sudden immobility.
Dr. Clayton’s treatments helped, but there was no denying the truth of her condition. It was getting worse. Soon, she would be unable to walk for long periods. That meant a hover chair to help her get around. The MS had gone up a gear.
But for now she relaxed in the sun. The worry of her legs faded to the back of her mind, and she was able to enjoy the simple pleasure of sitting in the quiet, with only her thoughts to accompany her. A breeze picked up and Jessica momentarily closed her eyes. She could have been anywhere in that instant. The sun’s warmth on her skin, the soft whisper of the trees in the wind.
“There you are,” a familiar voice declared. Jessica opened her eyes, turned around to see Commander Greene approach.
“Ah. You found me.”
“Sorry to bother you,” Greene said as he sat next to her.
“No problem. I was just resting up out here. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately, it helps,” she said, indicating her legs. “Stress brings it out more.”
“Ah, I see. Well it’s nothing to worry about. I hear that Chang’s just about ready to take the Defiant out for a little shakedown,” Greene said.
“Yes. I know that.”
“And you’re sure we shouldn’t be there?”
Jessica slapped his knee. “Del, stop worrying. She’s going to keep her within this system, so there’ll be no worry of attack from enemy forces. The Chief just wants to test a few of the systems. She can’t do that moored up to a space station.”
“I understand, but you don’t think one of us should be there?” Greene asked.
“No. Lisa can handle it. She kept her cool in battle. Saved all of our lives. I’m sure she can handle a little tour around the system. If I thought one of us should be there, I’d go up there myself,” Jessica said. She studied her friend’s face. “What else is it?”
Greene licked his top lip. “I wasn’t going to mention this. Not right now. But I just wanted to be certain you were all set for tomorrow. For the memorial service.”
Jessica looked down at the ground.
“I’ve written a speech, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Is there anything you want me to help with?” Greene asked her.
Jessica shook her head. “No. It will be quick and simple. That’s the way it’s got to be, I think. This crew doesn’t need to dwell on all who’ve been lost. We need to keep looking toward the future.”
With that she looked back up. Commander Greene could see the shine of tears in her eyes. A species of bird native to Krinu flapped overhead and they both looked up to watch it pass.
“I get you,” Greene said. “I checked with the crew taking the Defiant out for her shakedown and they’re all fine with missing it. I think they’re doing something on board at the same time. Chang said she’s arranged something.”
“Between Commander Chang and Chief Gunn, they’ll get a good send-off,” Jessica said.
Greene got up. “I won’t bother you any more, Captain. I’ll let you get back to your peace and quiet, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As he made to leave, Jessica held his wrist. “Del… have you been to see Hawk?”
Greene cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
“How was he? The last I heard, he was…”
The Commander only nodded. Jessica said nothing more on the subject.
She watched Greene leave, then she tried to relax again. But it was too late, the damage was done.
The peace didn’t return. In its place were the private worries and concerns of a starship captain. They were hers alone to carry, and like the numbness in her feet, that made them all the more intolerable.
2.
“Belcher, go get some rest. Eat. Do something. Whatever, just get out of this engine room,” Chief Gunn said in her strictest tone of voice.
Gary Belcher shook his head. “With all due respect, Chief, we need to get this repair completed. And we’re just about to launch. You need me in here —”
“No. Down tools and go. That’s a direct order.”
Belcher looked surprised, then hurt that he was being ordered away from engineering. Gunn led him by the elbow out into the hall.
“Well… I guess I’ll go and see if there’s anything in the mess. Maybe a sandwich or something…”
Gunn nodded vigorously. “Yeah. Go do that. Come back to me in twelve hours.”
Belcher didn’t say another word in defiance. He simply walked off.
The Chief herself had been on duty for more than sixteen hours, and Belcher had been there already when she arrived. They were all busting their butts to get the Defiant operational again, and she was, apart from some minor further repairs to essential systems. The old girl was far from shipshape, but thanks to weeks of hard work the Defiant was capable of travel.
She had her whole team to thank, but Officers like Belcher had gone above and beyond the call of duty to get it all done. However, the Chief knew it would do no good to have her finest falling asleep at their stations when she needed them.
I’ll put that guy in for a promotion when all’s said and done, Gunn told herself as she re-entered Engineering, her hands in the front pocket of her overalls.
“Chief, this is the bridge. We’re set to disembark if you are.”
Gunn hit a button on the nearest comm. panel. “Yeah. Go for it. Chief out.”
* * *
There were little more than twenty crew aboard the Defiant as she undocked from the station under minimal thruster power, and most of those crew members were engineers.
The rest of Defiant’s crew would enjoy some much needed R&R on the surface of Krinu while they were gone. Lisa felt proud the Captain and Commander Greene were trusting her with the ship for a few days, though it would be a largely uneventful little cruise within the local vicinity.
“Nice and slow, Rogers,” Chang said.
The bridge still looked a mess from the battle that had exposed it to the vacuum of space, but at least it was better than working the ship from the Emergency Command Centre. The bridge was back to a fully operational – if less pretty – version of its former self. For one thing, Chang was glad to have the captain’s chair back.
It wasn’t quite the same, commanding the Defiant without the traditional seat of power from which to issue orders. Not that it was an ego thing.
It just felt right.
The Defiant backed away from the station, then Rogers turned her to face away from Krinu. She lumbered under his fingertips, no longer the responsive vessel she’d once been. The Defiant was sluggish as she eased away from the planet at one quarter speed.
“She’s hard to turn,” Rogers noted.
“I know. You can expect that. The Chief hasn’t gotten around to that yet, but she will. In the meantime we’ll just have to manage best we can. This is only a tour of the system,” Chang explained. “We shouldn’t have any need for tight manoeuvres.”
“Agreed,” Rogers said.
There were just the two of them and Ensign Beaumont on the bridge.
“Ensign, signal the Krinuans and let them know we are underway. Rogers, you know the flight plan. Don’t deviate from it. I’ll
be down in engineering if you need me.”
“Aye.”
* * *
“Captain on the deck!” the Chief called out in mock formality. The other engineering crew present snapped to attention.
“Very funny!” Chang said, her cheeks aglow with embarrassment.
Gunn chuckled. “All right you lot, get back to work. We’ve had our fun.”
“How’re we doing down here?” Chang asked.
Meryl crossed her arms. “It’s gone well so far. Everything’s responding as we want it to. Secondary systems are slowly coming back online. The real test will be whether or not the splints the Krinuans put in place to the Defiant’s support structure hold.”
“I see what you mean. Well, we’ll take her steady for the rest of the day. I don’t want to push her too fast. Maybe tomorrow we can try increasing speed, perform some fly-bys of nearby planets. That should test her,” Chang offered.
“Yeah, a good idea. Take it slow. After all, we’re melding Terran and Krinuan engineering here. We don’t know what will happen.”
Chang looked up at the ceiling. “I just hope we can get her back to how she used to be…”
Gunn sighed. “I don’t hold out much hope for that, Commander.”
“Even if she gets us to a new planet. Somewhere we can settle…” Chang said. She caught the Chief’s expression. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be such a defeatist.”
“I’m just surprised to hear someone voice the same thing I’ve been thinking these last few weeks. I mean, look around you,” Gunn said. “We’re holding everything together with Scotch tape and Popsicle sticks. Eventually the Defiant will break for good. I, for one, hope we’re not on her when it happens. Maybe the Captain needs to consider finding somewhere for us to live.”
There was a long silence between the two of them as they both contemplated what was being discussed.
“Do you think she’s thinking the same thing?” Chang asked.
The Chief shrugged. “Who knows? If I know the Captain, then it’s probably not far from her mind.”
“We’re so far from home . . . maybe it’s time to find a new one,” Chang said.
“Agreed. But let’s keep this between us,” Gunn said in a low voice. “I don’t need this lot attempting a mutiny and stuffing me down the trash compactor chute as a result.”
It was all Chang could do not to laugh. The thought of Meryl Gunn being overpowered in her own engine room was just too funny to even imagine.
3.
Captain Gerard Nowlan flexed the fingers of his hand and winced. Dr. Clayton had had to cut enough of his fingers away to fit the cybertronic replacements. The new artificial appendages were still tethering themselves to the fine strands of nerves in his hand… and the process of technology joining to organic material hurt like hell.
“How are they?” Clayton asked. He watched as Hawk continued to flex and wiggle his fingers.
“Gettin’ better. Still sore.”
“It will be,” Clayton said. Then with a smile, “But it’ll get better. It all will.”
Hawk nodded. He knew the doctor was talking about more than the loss of half of two fingers. Carn had done a lot more damage than that.
The mental wounds left behind following the General’s torture of him would never heal; they were already in the process of becoming scars. It would never leave him, Hawk knew.
“Thanks doc,” he said.
“Don’t mention it,” Clayton said.
The door to Hawk’s room whispered open and Selena Walker entered in carrying food and drink on a tray.
“So, uh, how come yuh not on the ship?” Hawk asked as he watched Selena set the tray down.
“Thought I’d take the opportunity to get some air myself,” Clayton said. “Nurse Munoz is up there with them, should anyone get an ingrown toenail.”
Hawk laughed despite himself. Clayton smiled and got up.
“I’ll see yuh ‘round,” Hawk said.
“Yeah,” Dr. Clayton said. “See you later. Take care of him Selena.”
“Oh I intend to,” Selena said.
Clayton left and the door slid shut behind him.
Hawk watched Selena fix them both a drink, then turned away. He looked out the window. Krinu was a beautiful, peaceful planet. A green oasis in an alien galaxy.
And yet he’d not once been outside.
He felt Selena’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her and managed to smile.
“You okay?” she asked him.
“Yuh,” Hawk said. “I think.”
She handed him a glass of water.
“It’s okay not to be,” she said.
Hawk shook his head. “Yuh don’t get it. What he did to me…”
He sipped his water. Selena sat next to him, reached out and held his hand. She thoughtfully avoided his two cybernetic fingers.
“I just wanna find him. An’ kill him. Twice he’s got me, twice he’s brought me to the edge of death only to let me live,” Hawk said. “Cause he knows.”
He tapped the side of his temple to indicate the real sore spot Carn had left him with. Selena gave his hand a squeeze.
“Honey…” she said and cuddled up to him. Hawk stared out the window, at the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds of their temporary home. He knew he should feel more displaced than any of them. Not only was he also far from home, just as they were, he was a man out of time. True, the Defiant had experienced some temporal displacement from its journey through the black hole. But Hawk had already been from a different time.
He felt totally alone, despite the comfort of having a woman like Selena Walker with him. She’d been a blessing, especially following his most recent trauma.
And yet that was almost entirely the wrong way to describe it. Perhaps it wasn’t trauma at all that filled his heart. No, he thought that maybe it was that other thing. The very impetus that would now see him pursue General Carn to the ends of the universe if he had to. The man – or whatever he was – had to be stopped.
Trauma? No. Anger? Yes.
And more than that. Hawk knew it was pure hatred that weighed his heart down. For all that the General had done. For everything. He would pay.
* * *
“I hope you don’t mind my calling,” Jessica said some hours later. Selena had left a while before to see to something. Gerard had only been sitting on his own deep in thought anyway. As it was, he welcomed a bit of company while Selena was out.
“Not at all. Have a seat,” he said.
“It’s dark in here,” Jessica noted as she sat opposite.
“When it gets dark I like to turn the lights down in here. Helps me appreciate the view,” Hawk said with a nod in the direction of the window. Outside, the stars filled the pollution-free sky of Krinu. Every now and then, a craft would fly across the horizon, but apart from that, a person could gaze at the night sky uninterrupted. Certainly Jessica had never seen the stars so bright back on Earth. Not with the amount of pollution in the atmosphere.
“It is beautiful,” she admitted. “I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I just can’t sleep.”
“I know exactly how you feel,” Hawk said.
“Seems strange. We have a memorial service tomorrow, now that we know exactly who we lost…” Jess said. “And the Defiant is up there somewhere. Without me.”
“Chang took her out, ain’t that right?” Hawk asked.
Jessica nodded. “Yes. Defiant’s in good hands.”
“Agreed.”
“I hear you’ve not really been out,” Jessica said. “Why is that?”
Nowlan sighed. “I just don’t know. Lack of spirit maybe?” he offered with a wry smirk.
“You know it’s no good for you…”
“Yuh.”
“Since I’ve started having trouble with my legs, I’ve found it helps some to go for a walk now and then. Loosens things up. Also helps de-stress,” Jessica said.
“I know where you’re going with this…�
�
“And I could use one of those walks right about now,” she said, undeterred.
Hawk watched her get up, with the aid of her stick, and walk to the door. He rolled his eyes and got up to follow.
“I’m not goin’ far,” he said.
“Whatever is good for you, is good for me. We’ll just be two Captains taking a little stroll. One handicapped… and the other, well, the same…” she said, then laughed.
Hawk shook his head. “Yuh…” but he couldn’t help but laugh, too.
“Come on,” Jessica said, suddenly serious. “That’s an order.”
4.
The combined crew of the Defiant stood outside, listening to Captain King speak. The sun had slid below the horizon, striking the evening sky with splashes of gold and pink.
A device across her mouth amplified her words so that all assembled men and women could hear.
“I can think of no better evening than this to remember our fallen comrades,” Jessica said. “Such a beautiful, tranquil world. A jewel amongst the stars. It’s in this oasis that we come together as a family, albeit a family in mourning.”
Jessica had several handwritten pages in front of her at the makeshift podium. She turned the first one over, swallowed, then continued.
“It is a pity that not everyone could be here tonight. A small crew have taken the Defiant out for a shakedown, but I know they will be remembering the fallen in their own way just as we are now. I admit that I do not know what to say that can make the loss we all feel any less of a burden,” Jessica said. “Whether you’re an Ensign or a Captain, the grief of losing a colleague is a shared pain. But the key word there is shared.”
She paused for effect. To let that sink in. The wind rustled the tall, thin trees around them. Their small green leaves whispered in unison.
“We’ve been through tough times. But we’re still together. Still a family. So let us all remember, tonight, those we’ve lost along the way. Our journey is still ongoing. We carry with us the memory of the fallen. In our heads. Our memories. And in our hearts,” Jessica said. She scanned the crowd, then broke into a salute. Her chest swelled with pride as each and every member of the crew returned the salute. “Tonight we remember.”