Lettuces and Cream

by John Evans

  Outside, the figure moved closer to the window with it’s open curtains

  TEN

  ‘The Rayburn’s working really well, are you pleased with it?’ Mike gave a self- satisfied grin, his teeth showing white against his soot smeared face.

  ‘Am I? Oh yes, love, it’s fantastic, hot water and it keeps this old kitchen warm as well. Pity we haven’t got a bathroom though. Still, having hot water is great. And I’ll be able to make those chicken pies now that I’ve got a real oven.’

  ‘Yeah, great,’ Mike wasn’t really interested in the cooking business – only eating.

  ‘The coal is a bit expensive but as you say, love, it’s worth it. Of course I really should get that chainsaw now and cut some trees down, it would save us loads of money.’

  Jan winced, more debt. Ever since Mike had arranged the bank overdraft, it seemed to save money they had to spend - a lot.

  ‘But buying a second-hand stove was a really good idea,’ Mike said, opening and shutting the fire doors for the umpteenth time. He took his job of Chief stoker seriously and liked looking at the glowing, warming coals.

  ‘Burning really well now. I think we did pretty good in the time. I know it’s taken us a couple of weeks, but we made it in time for your parents on Saturday. Got it up and running just in time. Hellish heavy though, I thought we would never get the damn thing into the house. Dirty job too, all that old soot. Wouldn’t have had that with a new one.’

  ‘You do look like a chimney sweep,’ she gave a laugh, ‘but don’t moan, it’s only dirt after all, and this one was so much cheaper. And in any case it looks almost new - it was a real bargain.’ Saving money, or rather spending as little as possible was her aim.

  ‘Yep, that’s true, and that plumber bloke we bought it from has made a good job of it. Good old Keith, he seems to know everybody.’ With a flash of inspiration Mike added, ‘I bet Keith would know where to get a chainsaw. Damn it, I wish we had a phone I could ring him tonight. Do you know, this phone business reminds me of when we were waiting for one back home in Barey, Do you remember?’

  ‘Of course I do, we had to share a party line with those nosy old neighbours we didn’t like.’

  ‘No neighbours out here,’ Mike said with a rare flash of nostalgia for the easy days in town, and adding with a sigh,’ah well, I’ll see Keith sometime, I suppose.’

  ‘We should be hearing from the phone people soon Mike, it would be a huge help not having to drive to see people all the time. We’d save on petrol too.’

  The conversation was becoming a little too dismal for Mike, so he cheerfully changed the subject.

  ‘Right then, I’m so bloomin’ sooty I could really do with a bath,’ inspiration struck again, ‘hey, how about taking Chris up on her offer? It would be great having a real bath. I think that even the kids would like it. Be a bit of a novelty after all these weeks. And we would be nice and clean for your parents,’ Mike laughed at that idea.’

  ‘It’s two days before they get here, but yeah it would be nice. She must think we’re a stinky lot, it’s nearly a fortnight since she offered.’ Jan said.

  ‘Huh, don’t be silly; she probably doesn’t remember saying anything about it. When are you seeing her next? You’d better ask just in case she has forgotten. See, if we had a phone, you could ask her now.’

  ‘Not until next Monday at Am Dram, though I could send a message to her with the children.’

  ‘Blimey, I don’t think I can wait that long or I’ll be ponging a bit,’ Mike joked, ‘oh well, I suppose I’d better have a scrub down and wash my hair in here before the kids get home.’

  ‘I tell you what, Mike,I will send a message to her through the kids and perhaps we can all go over on Friday when the kids break up for half term.’

  ‘Good thinking Wonder woman,’ Mike quipped, ‘have a mass bathing session.’

  Although to Jan it seemed like it happened yesterday, it was actually some eleven days since that eventful evening in Chris’s car. And Jan had been avoiding being alone with her by making excuses that she had other calls to make, and so needed to take their own car to the Am Dram meetings. Her curiosity however was as strong as ever and sometimes, when going about her daily chores, she would have one of those little involuntary intakes of breath at the exciting thought of what might - could happen. And, although she didn’t realise it, it was rather like the early days with Mike, wondering what sex would be like with him. But then, isn’t it the same cranial mechanism involved in both scenarios? In any event going over to Chris’s as a family would be safe - wouldn’t it?

  ‘I think I’d better go and give Pinky her feed before I wash and change,’ Mike decided, then added, ‘she should be farrowing soon. Didn’t Dirty Mary say a couple of weeks? She’s certainly big enough, lets hope there’s lots of piglets.’

  ‘Oh yes, I’d almost forgotten about her having babies. How will we know when it’s going to happen?’

  ‘Well, apparently she’ll start scraping up the straw and make a sort of nest for them. We’ll just have to keep a good watch out. Not that there’s much we can do about it, she’ll just get on with it.’

  ‘Wouldn’t it be great if she has them when mum and dad are here-and the kids.’

  ‘Would wouldn’t it - exciting life isn’t it, being farmers, I’m off then, see what’s happening.’

  As Mike entered the barn Pinky grunted in anticipation at the scoop full of food she was about to receive. Mike placed to food into her trough and checked she had enough clean water to drink, then lit up a cigarette and leaned on the gate watching and looking for any signs of imminent birth. He peered at her back end with gynaecological interest, but all seemed normal – for a pig, and not really knowing what changes to expect anyway. She seemed calm enough and noisily chomped at her food, and Mike headed back to the house for his wash down in the kitchen.

  ‘It’s getting really rough out there, the wind is picking up, I think we’re in for a storm tonight. Anyway, nothing happening with Pinky, not that I can see anyway. She looks just the same to me. You can have a look at her tomorrow. You’re a woman; you know what to look for.’

  ‘Thanks for that, sweetheart, but I don’t anything about pigs.’

  ‘Ah well never mind we’ll sort it somehow. Pity we can’t get in touch with Keith, he’d know what to do,’ Mike said, as he ran the hot water into a large bowl ready for his de-sooting. ‘Cor, look, hot water - from a tap,’ Mike continued gleefully.

  ‘Simple things please simple minds,’ Jan joked, ‘I never thought we would be so excited about hot water from a tap. Just imagine how excited we’ll be when we have a real toilet again–and a bath. Anyway, the kids will be home soon better have your wash.’

  Mike was already taking off his clothes and was soon standing in the kitchen stark naked.

  ‘How about a little cuddle with a handsome man?’ Mike grabbed Jan by the waist and kissed her.

  ‘We haven’t time for that. The kids will be here soon,’ but she didn’t pull away and returned a kiss.

  They kissed again, she could see – and feel, his obvious excitement.

  ‘Later, big boy, and where is this handsome man you’re on about?’ She said, looking around the room as she spoke. This was one of those moments with which she could only rarely cope with, and joking one of her defences. It wasn’t a problem with her body, but her mind. She had to get in the mood for this. She gave another quick kiss as a consolation prize and pulled away. For Mike, it wasn’t a surprise. There had been very few occasions when spontaneous moves of this sort had ever led to anything. For him, daytime quickies, ‘table enders’, or stand up ‘knee tremblers,’ as he and his mates back in the lab called them, were incredibly thin on the ground. But, she had said, later. He gave Jan a little smile of understanding and got on with his kitchen ablutions.

  Later that evening they were all once again ensconced in the sitting room. The fire was particularly vigorous because of the gale blowing outside, and the flames were
roaring up the chimney. Mike was trying to get his monies worth out of his farming magazine and was perusing the contents once again.

  ‘Sounds really bad outside. It’s strange how much we notice the weather out here isn’t it?’ Jan clacked her knitting needles ever more vigorously, as though to drown out the noise of the storm.

  ‘In town the weather wasn’t that important to us and I suppose the winds were broken up by all the buildings. And of course we didn’t live on top of a hill.’

  ‘I suppose that’s it, love,’ Jan agreed, ‘real winter will be here soon when the clocks go back.’

  ‘Yep ‘fraid so, I won’t be able to do so much outside then either,’ Mike said rather glumly.

  ‘But you’ve done fantastic, the place is looking like someone lives here now, you’ve worked ever so hard.’ She said trying to cheer him up.

  ‘Yeah, I suppose so – you haven’t done so bad yourself either, love.’

  That evening the wind gusted higher and cold draughts were coming at them from all directions and through the boarded ceiling-in reality the bedroom floors. And even though the walls were thick and the windows small, they could clearly hear the loud swishing noise from the wind in the trees surrounding the yard. Occasionally there would be a dull thump, as though the wind had clenched its fist and was trying to punch its way through the stone walls.

  ‘I think we’ll have to get some cheap carpets for all the upstairs rooms soon, not just our room. It would cut down the draughts in this place.’ Jan said, buttoning up her cardigan.

  ‘Sorry love, but the heat is being sucked out of the place tonight. The warmest place is in the kitchen.’ Mike was rather disappointed with the amount of heat he was creating and so threw more logs on the fire.

  ‘Nearly time for bed kids.’

  ‘Aw mum, must we?’

  ‘Yes, but only two days more and then you’re on holiday for a week, for half term.’

  ‘One week?’ Mandy, who had little concept of time, and to whom seven days seemed like six months, shrieked in delight.

  ‘And guess who’s coming to visit us on Saturday?’ Jan didn’t wait for an answer, ‘Nana and Gramps.’

  The children gave an excited, ‘oo,’ and like Pavloas dogs, licked their lips in anticipation of the sweets they would bring - children’s love can be often be measured in sweetmeats.

  ‘Can we stay up later then, Mum?’

  ‘I expect so, but off you go you two, I’ll be up to see you in minute.’

  It was only half past ten when Mike and Jan themselves headed for bed. It was going to be a busy weekend coming up and the spare room needed a few finishing touches to make it ready.

  ‘I think the gale is getting worse,’ Jan was already in bed and Mike quickly undressed in the cold bedroom and got in beside her.

  ‘I can hear the slates rattling, I bet there will be a few off by morning.’

  Mike climbed in beside Jan and touched naked flesh.

  ‘You haven’t got anything on,’ he murmured, he was surprised, later usually meant much, much later, not the same day. This was one of those rare times when she actually wanted them to make love. ‘You naughty girl, no nightie,’ Mike ran his hands over her body, ‘very naughty, but nice.’

  ‘I’m cold,’ Jan said quietly, then kissed him, ‘’warm me up…’

  Mike awoke with a happy grin on his face. His memories of the bedtime activity still fresh in his mind. Indeed it had been one of those immensely rare occasions in which Jan had been a little more adventurous and verbal than usual. And at one point had even been on top, so he could, as she said, ‘suck her nipples- hard.’ It seemed this country living was doing some good after all. Mind you, Mike wasn’t holding his breath for an early repeat performance – only time would tell.

  Judging by the sunlight filling the bedroom the storm had passed and Mike did a quick assessment as to which job on his list he should tackle next. He decided that even if the day was dry he should spend time checking over the crops in the poly-tunnels. Because the field had been pasture land for years and years, it was full of latent weeds seed –and lettuce eating bugs. All of which, under the shelter and warmth of the tunnels were now thriving. It would all improve with each successive crop, but for now it was a bit of a battle between him and Nature.

  Jan was already downstairs goading the children to get up and get to the school bus. Mike got dressed and loped downstairs in a happy mood.

  ‘Good morning lovely people, and you of course,’ he joked, and gave Jan a peck on the cheek.

  ‘Oo, nice and warm in here, good old Rayburn,’ he walked over to the stove and began stroking the warm glossy enamel surface. ‘There, there, you lovely thing,’ as he continued his stroking he made silly kissing noises.

  ‘You are funny dad,’ David laughed.

  ‘Your father is a little mad, love. He really shouldn’t be out on the streets,’ Jan said, joining in the fun.

  Mandy chomping on her breakfast cereals belatedly came to life.

  ‘Why can’t daddy go on the streets, Mum?’

  ‘’Cos he’s bonkers,’ David chortled.

  ‘How about some bacon and eggs for breakfast, sweetheart.’

  ‘You don’t usually have cooked breakfast.’

  ‘Well, I fancy some today, before I slave away in the fields all day,’ Mike replied, with mock suffering.

  ‘You can’t be a slave dad, ‘cos you’re not black,’ Mandy said with childish innocence.

  ‘Oh yes I can,’ Mike said in Pantomime tone.

  ‘Oh no you can’t,’ Jan said, picking up the theme. The children looked bemused and a little lost at the humour. What a happy start to the day they were all having…

  Breakfast over, and with the kids plodding across the muddy fields to the school bus, Mike lit up his first fag of the day, and sipped the first coffee of the day.

  ‘First job is to feed Pinky and take a look at Primrose, then there’s some work in the tunnels to do. What you are going to do love?’

  ‘Finish the spare room, that’s really urgent. But if I’ve got time I could help you weeding, if you like.’

  ‘Oh yeah, I said I’d help you with the room didn’t I?’

  ‘Well if you’ve got time, but don’t worry about it-I’ll cope.’

  ‘Okay I’m off, if you need me give me shout.’

  They gave each other a happy smile, and a little kiss, and parted.

  However, ‘into every life a little manure must fall,’ as Mikes grandmother would have said.

  Mike was whistling cheerfully as he crossed the yard and was in a massively optimistic mood. Satisfying sex had that effect on him. It relaxed him, for a while as least, and his mind was now concentrated on the business of the day. He opened the barn door calling to Pinky as he did so. He could hear her grunting, but in a different way than usual, quieter somehow. Mike stepped inside. He stood still, astounded by the scene before him. Daylight was filling the normally darkened interior. In the roof, or rather where the roof should be was sky-just sky. A huge section of the slated roof was scattered over the barn floor. Pinkie’s pen lay under this catastrophe and he dashed to check her pen. She was unhurt, but standing amongst broken slate and bits of timber. She made a mournful sort of grunt, as though to say, ‘get me out of this mess.’ Mike cleared her trough of debris, dumped a scoop of food in front of her hungry snout, and ran back to the house to tell Jan the bad news.

  ‘The roof looks fine from the front, it’s the back end that caught it. I couldn’t see anything wrong from the yard side.’

  ‘It’s strange though, I wonder why just that section?’ Jan, had donned wellies and was now helping to put broken bits of slate into a wheelbarrow.

  ‘I suppose the wind just swirled around somehow. Thank God that the house itself is all right. It missed the freezer too, and Pinky. Bloody hell, she could have been killed. But the rain has soaked her bedding, we’ll have to clear it out and put down fresh straw. Huh, one good thing though, there’s plen
ty of firewood from these rafters. We’ll pile it up over here Jan, where it’s dry and there’s still some roof left.’

  ‘What are we going to do about the roof, Mike? It’s much too big a job for you to do, and anyway the insurance will pay for the repairs.’

  ‘If we had a bloody phone we could ring around the builders. I suppose I’ll have to drive into Porth and ask around. That’s my day gone for a Burton.’

  ‘It’s not your fault Mike. You can’t do anything about the weather,’ Jan said sympathetically, knowing how frustrated he got if his work plans went awry.

  ‘Yeah, I know, but we could have done without all this mess.’

  It had gone half past three when Mike returned home. He was hungry, and annoyed that his day had been wasted. Locating a builder hadn’t been easy because most were part time farmers as well, and finding them tucked down long lanes or on top of mountains had been difficult, stressful-and expensive on petrol.

  ‘God what a day,’ Mike slumped into the kitchen chair and lit up a cigarette. ‘I’m gasping for a coffee. Anyway, I found someone, eventually. He said he could be here later on today to cover the hole with tarpaulins until he can get here to do the repairs. Trouble is there’s been damage all over the place - passed a few blown down trees - anyway they’re all very busy. Still, if the roof is covered that would do for now.’

  Jan placed his belated lunch in front of him, and took a deep breath. ‘Um, Mike, I’ve looked at the insurance and, um, it only covers half the cost of the repairs because it’s a farm building. We should have changed the house insurance to cover the farm as well.’

  ‘Bloody hell, that’s marvellous, absolutely bloody marvellous.’

  By the time the children came home from school Jan and Mike were a little more cheerful, and had accepted the added financial burden of the roof repairs. And they were actually looking forward to seeing Jan’s parents on Saturday. It would, for a while at least, be a pleasant distraction from the daily grind, but of course the children were daily distractions in themselves. They too were excited by the imminent visitation and their half term holidays. Jan had managed to finish the temporary guest room but was now worried how her mother and father would cope with the lack of a bathroom and a real toilet. They had in fact put a huge amount of effort into making the house as presentable as possible. Mike still retained the remnants of the old fashioned idea of showing Jan’s parents that he was capable of keeping her in the style to which she was accustomed. Of course if he voiced such an idea to Jan she would have been highly amused, and probably would have joked, ‘what style?’