“He just . . . he made me fall back in love, he gave that girl my baby, and then he just cut me loose like I wasn’t shit!” I cried out. “I was holding onto my secret about Sara because she was the only thing that he couldn’t take back from me and now she’s gone, too. I’m just a mess, Aaron. There’s no way that I’m gonna recover from all of this. You should just go out on your date. You really don’t need to see me like this or hear me talk about that asshole. I’m sorry.”
The pressure from the water beat down on us that night in the shower. I will admit, it felt good to feel his warm body against mine. It made me think of the time we’d spent at the hotel in Alexandria, Virginia. It took weeks for my body to register that he was no longer inside of me. His touch was still intoxicating. Aaron loved me, there was no doubt about that, but why wouldn’t my heart accept that? I knew Jamie loved me, but he didn’t cherish me the way that Aaron did. Jamie knew he could have whoever he wanted—that was his attitude 24/7, which is why it was always hard to accept an “I love you” from him. He talked a good game; that was Jamie, all day. He was a smooth talker. He knew all the right words, all the right moves, all the right places to touch. He spoke to your heart. He got women to fall for him all of the time, and once they were hooked, he walked away. He did us all that way. The only one stupid enough to stick around for the heartbreak was Charlie.
“I don’t have to go out with Jeremiah tonight. I can stay here with you. I want to stay here with you, Heaven.” He whispered, hands gripping my waist then.
I looked up into his face, as he licked his lips. Man, he was gorgeous. I shook my head, “Aaron, you gotta stop trying to find something wrong with every female who isn’t me. Look at me. I’m not the same person you saw in January. I’m sick. I’m not dying, but I’m not living either. Losing my baby took something from me that I won’t be able to get back. And I don’t know what happens next.”
“Me—I’m what happens next, sweetheart,” Aaron whispered.
I just looked at him, eyes tracing his lips.
“I can help you, Heaven.” Aaron looked down into my face, eyes tracing my lips, too. “Come with me to Paris. Just for a little while.”
I looked up into his face, my lips trembling. Lord knows I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t. Not just because I was sick and under a doctor’s care, but because I wasn’t ready to lose myself in another man just yet. “No, Aaron, I can’t.” I shook my head, looking up at him.
“Heaven, I won’t hurt you. I’m not him. I swear I’m not.” Aaron held my face in his hands. “C’mon, Heaven, we’re friends. Let me be your friend. Let me help you. You know you can trust me. And you know you need me.”
He did show up just when I needed him. He didn’t let his pride get in the way. Even though I totally dissed him for Jamie, he still found it in in his heart to love me.
“I’m only gonna be in Paris about another two months if I sign a contract with Miami. I promised my Mom and Pop that I’d go to England with them for about two weeks. It’s been a minute since my grandparents actually wanted to see me. I’ll spend some time with Pop’s family, and then I’ll come back here to get you.” Aaron dried my tears. “Please. Just think about it and give me a call.”
Chapter 2: Oui
Ne’Vaeh
“Aaron wants you to do what?” Anastasia exclaimed the next morning, as she sat at the foot of my bed, sliding her boot socks on. She was so shapely that everything she wore fit her like a glove. Her body exuded sex. Even though she wasn’t a stripper anymore, everything that girl did was seductive. She was dressed to kill as usual. She had Puma make her the tightest, sexiest, sportiest dress and matching jacket. She had on Puma sporty high-heeled boots. She had a style that no woman I knew could touch.
I sighed, watching her get cute, or should I say stay cute. “Go with him to Paris for a little while.”
Anastasia looked at me, then grinned, shaking her head at me. “He doesn’t give up, I can say that much about him.”
“So should I go?” I whispered, eyes watering. “Or nah?”
Anastasia scoffed. “Shit, why not? I’m sure the boy will make sure you’re medically taken care of. You’re well enough to fly, boo. He’ll make sure your heart, mind, body, and soul are taken care of. I saw the way that boy looked at you. He is infatuated with you!” Anastasia exclaimed, zipping up her boots. She stood from the bed. “It’s not too often a girl meets a guy who worships the ground that she walks on. He’s a keeper, girl, you know he is.”
I just looked at her, not sure what to say.
“Sweetie, your album just dropped. We’re gonna promote you the best way we know how while your body heals. So go to Paris. Relax and get back to being you, boo. When you get back, we’ll start your tour. I got a few artists that are dying to tour with you and me, sweetie! So get ready to put in work when you get back!” Anastasia smiled, swinging her long hair over her shoulder.
I still wasn’t so sure traveling with Aaron was the best idea. “I’m scared, Anna. Scared to let him love me. Or maybe I’m scared to love him, I don’t know. All I know is that Aaron came and Jamie never showed up. That has to mean something, right?”
Anastasia shook her head, straightening out her jacket. “Well, I told you eight months ago when you left dude that once you walked away from him, there was no looking back. I know dudes like him. You shot him down. You crushed his ego. You know better than me how cocky that muthafucka is! To him, you were just like every other woman who left him! I’m just being honest with you! I’m not saying the dude doesn’t love you—I’m just saying that the ship with him has sailed, and more than likely isn’t coming back. Aaron, on the other hand, is here, so you might as well just jump on board. Ya feel me? Now go pack!”
* * *
So, I went to Paris with Aaron. Nurse Patty had gotten me to finally eat the two weeks and three days that I waited for Aaron to come back to get me from Anastasia’s mansion. I might have gained about five pounds in two weeks. I looked a little better, I felt a little better, and I had the energy to walk on my own without help. Of course, Anastasia wouldn’t let me go unless Aaron made sure he had a doctor set up for me to see in Paris. She helped me pack a few things, though Aaron told her I wouldn’t need anything. I think I slept the entire flight to France. It was the best sleep I’d had in eight months.
When we arrived in Paris, a limo was waiting for us outside of the airport. It took us straight to Aaron’s apartment, and he wasn’t lying—his apartment looked like it sat right over the river that led to heaven. I just stood in the middle of his living room as he wheeled our luggage inside of the apartment. His apartment looked like something out of the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” My jaw almost dropped to the floor when he went over to his windows and opened the curtains, revealing the river view from the balcony.
Aaron grinned, coming over to me, taking my jacket and purse from my hands.
I just looked at him, the same way that I looked at Anastasia and Darryl when they took me to their mansion in Atlanta. I was awestruck. He had truly made it. He was a star. I’m sure he wasn’t as excited as I was about his fame and riches—he came from money. I guess he played basketball so that he could make a name for himself and stop living in his father’s shadow.
“So, you like it?” Aaron grinned, biting his bottom lip, enjoying watching me prance around the place like a kid in a candy store.
I looked at him, eyes widened. “What? Like it, Aaron? This is the doorway to Heaven! Oh my God, I’m—” I couldn’t even find the words to tell him how grateful I was. “You wanted to share this experience with me, and that means a lot.”
Aaron’s nodded. “Well, I saw how you were lookin’ back in ATL. You needed a friend. You needed a heart. You needed some love. I couldn’t leave you like that. How could he leave you like that?”
I just looked up at him, heart trembling in my chest. I exhaled deeply. “So, you must have a busy schedule. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be spending most of my
nights alone, huh?”
Aaron shook his head. “Nah, I’m in the process of leaving my team here. Just wanted to take a vacation before signing with Miami. I need a break. I have a few appearances to make. Maybe even a few parties to go to, but for as long as I have you here with me, I’m all yours. You just need to get some rest.”
Aaron was the perfect gentlemen. He had changed so much from that Aaron who had no problems showing me how he felt eight months ago. Y’all remember that night in his weight room? And don’t get me started on what happened in his bedroom on my birthday. He’d changed. He was different. He was more mature. He had me alone in the shower two weeks earlier, and he didn’t touch me inappropriately. He just held me up against his body and washed me like he was washing his car.
That night, in his cozy apartment in Paris, we ordered out and ate together in bed. We were like old friends catching up on old times. I hadn’t laughed so hard in months. It hadn’t felt so good to be around someone in months. I wasn’t exactly my old self, but I was getting there.
For dessert, Aaron made this fruit cocktail milkshake that tasted like God made it! It felt so good to be around Aaron. It felt even better when he began to massage my calves, ankles, feet, and toes.
“Oh,” I moaned, leaning back against his oversized pillows. “This shake is too good!” I sipped from the straw. That shit was so good, it made my eyes cross.
Aaron grinned, “What about my hands?”
I looked up at him, trying not to pee on myself when his hands moved past my knees to my thighs. “Oh, they–they feel alright.” I stuttered.
Aaron laughed a little.
I looked at him as he looked down at my thighs, fingers kneading and squeezing them. “You’re different.”
Aaron looked up at me, emerald green eyes searching my face.
“Something’s different.” My eyes coated themselves in tears. “I don’t know what it is, but you’ve changed.”
Aaron grinned. “Well, you’ve been through some rough shit this year, shorty. I took you through some rough shit last year. I should have never approached you when I was with someone else. As a matter of fact, I shouldn’t have even been with someone else. I was wrong as a muthafucka. I wanted you, I took you, and I was wrong. I didn’t show you that I wanted more than your body. I want your everything; your heart, mind, body, and spirit. You’re everything I want in a woman, Heaven, and this time around, I’m hoping that you give me the chance to show you. It feels good as muthafucka being here with you. I’m doing everything that I can to be a good friend, and not rush your heart into anything. I just—I just wanna be next to you, and I’m hoping that you decide to stay here with me for the next two months. I hope what I’m saying isn’t scaring you away.”
The tears had already started flowing halfway through his speech. “I’m—” I choked back the tears as best as I could. “I’m not going anywhere, Aaron.”
Aaron stopping massaging my legs but held on firmly to my thighs. “I didn’t expect to see you like this when I showed up to the Allan Mansion. When Darryl said that you needed me, I expected to see you recording in the studio or throwing an album release party. I didn’t expect to see my girl thirty pounds lighter than she was eight months ago! I didn’t expect to see that my girl let some nigga break her! Losing Sara was devastating, I know it had to be, but baby, you gotta live your life! I couldn’t leave you in Georgia like that, around people who are only gonna tell you what they think you wanna hear because you’re gonna make them millions! You’re priceless, Heaven. You’re my heart, and I want you. You know I’m a better man than him. You know I’m what you need.” Aaron held my legs, grabbing them behind my knees, pulling me closer to him.
I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you are.”
“So, tell me, do I have you, Heaven? Do I have you?” Aaron’s eyes traced my lips.
I looked up into his face, lips quivering, speechless.
“Heaven, I’m here to help you, not hurt you, I promise. I love you. I’ve loved you since the first day I met you.” His eyes searched my face. “I’ll move as slow as you want me to go. I won’t rush you. Just give me a chance, please. Let me help fatten your ass up, a’ight?” Aaron grinned.
I burst out laughing and crying all at once. “This shake is really good, Aaron! Keep making these and I’ll gain weight in no time! Strawberries, and bananas, and cherries—Oh, my!”
Aaron laughed, watching me laugh. “It’s good to see you smiling.”
I nodded, my eyes searching his. “I really needed this. Aaron, I really needed you. You came to rescue me, and I appreciate you for that.”
Aaron held my face in his hands, drying my cheeks. “You know I’ll do anything necessary for you, Heaven.”
I looked up into his eyes, “Aaron, I came here with you because I wanted to feel whole again. I’m not gonna lie, I’m afraid to let you love me. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of broken promises. I’m tired of losing everything that I love. If you really want me like you say that you do, then you gotta give me some time.”
Aaron nodded, “A’ight. I can do that.”
* * *
Those two months that I spent with Aaron in Paris felt like I was floating on air. He made sure that I went to the doctor once a week. He made sure that I was fed. He made sure that I showered. He made sure I kept my hair done. He made sure that I had a pedicure and manicure every week. He made sure that I rocked the hottest clothes. He made sure that we went to the gym every day. He got me back into shape. He got me back to living my life. He gave me something to look forward to every day. He cooked for me every night, and we went out to eat on the weekends. I had gained about ten pounds that first month, and ten more the second month. I was happy. I was free. To prove to myself that I could get over Jamie, I turned his “J” tattoo on my neck into “Joy.” I didn’t forget about Sara, but I could at least go to sleep at night without seeing her face every time I closed my eyes.
The night of October 18 was our last night in Paris. I hated to leave. Facing reality was something that I wasn’t ready to do. Anastasia had a tour schedule that was going to stress me the fuck out. Not to mention she had even produced a play for a local screenwriter, Kenya Love. She wanted me to try out for the leading role. I had no idea how I was going to star in a play and go on tour, but Anastasia had it all mapped out.
I wanted to stay with Aaron, at least just a little while longer. He was so sweet and so gentle. The entire time that we’d spent in Paris, the dude didn’t try to touch me once. Not even a kiss. The closest that he had gotten to me in Paris was the night we went dancing at this restaurant that sat right on the beach. We were dancing so close I could feel the blood rushing through his veins.
“You finished packing, shorty?” Aaron tapped at my room door.
I sat on my bed in a sports bra and boy shorts, packing my last suitcase. I sighed. “Just finishing up.” I looked up at Aaron as he strolled into my room, dressed in a tank top and baggy sweatpants.
We were staying the night in a hotel. We had spent the day before packing up Aaron’s apartment. His things had been shipped off to his new house in Miami. I can’t tell you how much I hated the fact that Aaron was going to be in Miami, while I lived all the way in Atlanta. I never told Aaron how I felt about him the entire two months that I was there. Sure, I thanked him every day that I was there, but I never told him point blank that he made my heart race every time he stepped into the room. Aaron was a breath of fresh air. His very presence gave me wings. If it weren’t for him, I would have still been wasting away in Atlanta, never leaving my room.
“Guess the honeymoon is over, huh?” Aaron laughed a little.
“Oh my goodness, time flew by! I don’t want it to end, ugh!” I made a pouty face. “Aren’t you gonna miss Paris?” I asked, looking into his face, as he sat down on the bed, next to me, facing me.
Aaron’s eyes searched mine. “Yeah, but I’m gonna miss you more, shorty. These past two months with you have been the best two
months of my life. I’m serious, Heaven. You’re entertainment, that’s for sure! You kept a brutha rolling on the floor laughing my muthafuckin’ ass off! You had a nigga watching Sex and the City and shit!”
I laughed out loud. Yeah, that was my show, and if he wanted to cuddle with me, his ass was gonna have to watch that shit with me.
“It feels so good to see you laughing and smiling, when just two months ago, you looked like you were on your death bed! You’re beautiful, Heaven, and as long as I have known you, you never knew how beautiful you are.” Aaron held my face in his warm hands, fingers grazing against my lips.
My heartbeat sped up a little. I thought about Aaron in Miami, on a beach, laid up with some sexy, Brazilian bitch. “Talk about beautiful, those bitches in Miami are beautiful.”
Aaron looked at me, grinning, taking his hands from my face. “You don’t even have to worry about me dealing with anyone of them, shorty, believe that shit.”
“Are–are you gonna be okay in Miami all by yourself?” I stuttered.
“Naw.” Aaron shook his head, his eyes searching mine.
“I’ll come visit you once my tour is over. Well, if I land this part in the play that Anastasia wants me to try out for, then I’ll have to visit you after that. I can’t believe she has me not only singing, but acting, too!” I rolled my eyes. “She doesn’t want me to be ‘one-dimensional.’ She seems to think I can do it all. She’s all work and no play. She and Darryl barely even see each other. I don’t want a life like that, Aaron.” I looked at him.
“What kind of life do you want?” Aaron asked.
It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3 Page 3