Jamie just sipped from his bottle. Apparently, it was.
I sighed, crossing my legs, shaking my foot anxiously. I really loved that boy, but his mind was far from me. He was just trying to fill the void in his heart that Ne’Vaeh left. The groupies couldn’t fill it. I guess he went for the next best thing, his desperate baby’s mama. “Look, Jamie, it’s getting late. I’m about to check into a hotel. I gotta meet Ashton in a few hours to help him clean out Alisha’s crib. We’ve been sitting here over an hour, and you’ve barely said a few words to me. What you tryin’ to do this morning, Jamie? Talk, or what? I don’t have time for this!”
Jamie looked at me, setting his bottle down on the table. “You’re right about me, Charlie. I am fuckin’ up my career. Nothing in my life outside of football is going right. My mama, who never fuckin’ picks up the phone to call me, decided to call me last night, asking for money to pay her mortgage because she was four months behind. She only calls a nigga when she wants some shit.”
I shook my head at him. I knew him well enough to know that he gave that woman what she’d ask for. “How much money did you give her?”
Jamie looked at me. “She asked me for six thousand dollars; I gave her fifteen thousand.”
I shook my head at him. “Dude, you’re better than me. I wouldn’t have given her ass a got-damn thing! The way she treated you all those years! She used to beat the shit out of you, Jamie! Hammers, extension cords, irons; do you remember that shit? Your own sister told us all about how your mama treated y’all! Do you remember sleeping on the floor in the back of Walgreens? Do you remember begging your neighbors for food? Do you remember how you were dressed when you came here to live with your sister? That bitch doesn’t deserve shit but an ass whoopin’!”
Jamie shook his head, disgusted with himself for falling weak to that woman. “She’s my mama, man. I’ve wanted her love all of my life. I guess her calling me for money is the only time I get to hear her voice.”
I held his hand in mine. “You can’t make your mama be your mama, Jamie. You’re a great son that any mother would be proud to have. Her own insecurities and emotional issues kept her from loving you. It wasn’t anything that you did. You need to stop beating yourself up over this woman and move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but you deserve to be happy. And holding on to pain and hurt isn’t going to get you to that point. You need to just tell the woman how you feel, whether she wants to hear the shit or not. You deserve love in your life, Jamie. I don’t know why you find it easier to accept hate. You run from love, which is how you lost Ne’Vaeh.”
Jamie just looked at me.
“You know she would have stayed if you’d only told her the truth. Better yet, when your father came to get you that summer before tenth grade, you should have woke Ne’Vaeh up and taken her with you! That girl would have done anything for you! You lost her, so get over it, dude!” I exclaimed. As bad as I wanted Jamie, I knew where his heart was. Ne’Vaeh only went to Aaron for love because that boy cherished her the way that Jamie never did.
I stood from the table, grabbing my purse.
“Where ya goin’, shawty?” Jamie looked up at me.
“To a hotel, to get some fuckin’ sleep. I can’t with you right now,” I fought back the tears, scooting out of the booth.
Jamie got up, too, catching my arm before I went dashing out of the bar.
I pulled from him. “What, Jamie? I love you, and you know that shit! I use niggas left and right to try to mask this feeling that I’m feeling inside for you! I even started fuckin’ with your teammate, Tyler, just to make you fuckin’ jealous!”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Jamie’s eyes searched mine.
“I’ve had sex from the moment the doctor gave me the okay, just so I could get over the fact that you’re never gonna love me the way that I love you! It hurts to sit here and reminisce with you like we’re old friends catching up! I know you need a shoulder to cry on, but so do I got-damn it! I refuse to let you into my heart again! I’ve wanted you for so long, and you’ve always wanted her! I don’t mind you coming to get your son and spending time with him, but I will never let you back inside my head again, do you hear me?” I pushed him in his chest.
Jamie grabbed my waist, pulling me to him, his lips instantly pressed against mine. My knees went weak, and Jamie caught me in his arms, holding my body up against his. I held his face in my hands, my lips stroking his. It felt so good in his arms. I hadn’t felt his lips in almost two fuckin’ years. Yeah, I was stupid for letting him kiss me when I knew he was just vulnerable and needed to feel love from someone at that moment. He knew that I loved him. He knew where he could get love when he needed it.
Jamie sucked on my bottom lips just a little before letting go. “Let’s go to the Four Seasons, shawty.”
Before I could even say no, Jamie was already holding my hand, pulling me along with him out of the bar.
The minimum stay at that hotel was for three days, but they let Jamie rent a suite for just a few hours. Spending damn near three hundred dollars for just a few hours; yeah, Jamie was that kind of spender. The valet, the front desk manager, the concierge; everyone there that morning already knew Jamie by face. Not just because he was an athlete, but because he had been there several times before. The housekeepers even giggled as we walked down the hallway to our room. I turned to him as soon as we got into the room.
“Jamie, how many times have you—” I could barely get the words out when Jamie pulled my body up against his, kissing my lips and unbuttoning my jeans at the same time. “Wait,” I pulled my lips from his, “Is this just gonna be a smash-n-dash? If so, I’ll pass.”
“Kinda.” Jamie’s eyes searched mine, “I mean, I gotta get our son at eight o’clock from my aunt’s crib. She has to be at work at eight thirty.”
My eyes searched his beautiful face. Oh, I wanted to fuck that nigga’s dick off, but I wasn’t about to let him try to play me. “Jamie, you’re not gonna just fuck me and dismiss me this time. You wanna fuck with no strings attached, that’s cool. But you’re not gonna just fuck me and act like I don’t exist in your world. I wanna at least spend some time with you every now and then, Jamie. I wanna mean something to you, boo. I really do. You know I do.”
Jamie kissed my lips, sliding my pants over my hips a little. “You’re the mother of my child. You’ll always mean something to me. I’m not trying to use you, Charlie. I could’ve gone to any chick at damn near three o’clock in the morning, but I went to you because I needed you. I’ll come around more. I promise, shawty.”
I was speechless. I had never heard him say that he needed me, not once. Those words were like honey. They were the sweetest words that I’d ever heard. No, he didn’t say that he loved me, but the fact that he needed me meant everything.
He swooped my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor. I pulled his shirt over his head, damn near ripping off his wife beater underneath. He had Ne’Vaeh’s name tattooed over his heart. I ignored it, but I knew it was there. I sighed as he slid my jeans over my hips. I stepped out of them as I unbuckled his belt, pulling it from his jeans. I slid off his boxers as he snatched off my panties. I gasped as he lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me up with one arm, unsnapping my bra with his free hand. We kissed and moaned in each other’s mouths as he carried me into the back room. I knew the dude wanted to fuck me, but I wanted him to make love to me. I didn’t want him to bust quick and then fall asleep; I wanted him to stroke me to sleep.
“Ride this dick,” he moaned in my ear as he sat down on the bed, one hand gripping my waist, the other on my thigh.
I sighed as Jamie began to suck on my neck, running his fingers up and through my hair. I loved it when he massaged my scalp with his fingertips. I loved it when I was close enough to him to feel his heart beating, and the air circulating in his lungs. Jamie was so sexy, so charming, and so sensual.
I lifted my ass a little as Jamie held his dick and eased it inside
of me. My legs jerked a little as he eased his way through. That monster bumped my cervix just enough to make my whole body lift up. Jamie pressed my ass down on it, stopping me from running.
“Ride it, shawty, c’mon.” He whispered, gripping my ass.
I sighed, locking my knees, beginning to grind on him. He moved with me; oh, I could feel him in my stomach. He gave my body all types of sensations that I hadn’t felt since that night on the beach in Miami. I was already drunk as fuck, so you know I was floating on air. I rode him until my knees started to burn from rubbing against the silk bedspread.
Jamie gripped my hips in his warm hands, backing up until he reached the middle of the bed. He held me tight against his body as he quickly rolled over. He was on top of me, his body temperature rising, his heart beating against my breast. My legs trembled with every stroke he delivered. He had me speechless, breathless even.
“It’s been a long time, Charlene.” Jamie kissed my lips. “I needed this. Nothing feels like this, shawty.”
Jamie got me every way that he wanted that morning. I’d had my share of dick that year, but Jamie’s dick talked to my soul. I missed his dick in my mouth. His nut was so smooth and sweet. When he slid it in my ass without a heads-up, shit, I didn’t even put up a fight. I hadn’t had a taste of that boy in almost two years. I needed that dick. I’d been craving that muthafucka. But more than sex, I was craving Jamie’s touch. It felt amazing being on top of him, underneath him, next to him. The way he held my hips, the way he kissed my lips, the way he ran his fingers through my hair, the way he grabbed my thighs, the way he smacked my ass—oh, there are no words to express that feeling.
* * *
I awoke the next morning to the sound of my cell phone going off. I rolled over to see that Jamie’s ass wasn’t lying next to me. I sat up in the bed, looking for any sign of him. He was gone. I picked up the phone, muttering “This muthafucka,” to myself. I didn’t even look at the time or the caller ID.
“What?” I snapped.
“Well, hello to you, too, bitch.” Kelissa’s voice huffed through the phone. “Ashton said he’d been trying to call your ass all morning. Weren’t you supposed to be meeting him at nine o’clock?”
I rubbed my eyes. “Shit, what time is it?”
“Girl, eleven thirty! Where are you? Do you know your mama’s over here helping that boy clean out that apartment!” Kelissa exclaimed.
I jumped up from the bed as soon 11:30 came out of her mouth. Why the fuck didn’t Jamie wake me? Smash-n-dash, I fuckin’ knew it. Didn’t even wake me up to ask me if I needed a ride to Alisha’s crib. The nigga just left me, naked, in the bed, ass, titties, and pussy sore as a muthafucka!
I jumped out of bed. “Kelissa, where are you?”
“At Alisha’s crib. Bitch, I just told you that your mama is over here. Where the fuck you at?” Kelissa asked me again.
“I’ll be there in like thirty minutes, okay? Tell Ashton I’m sorry and I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone, rushing over to my clothes.
I tried to get as decent as I could that morning. Luckily, I had a brush, comb, hair band, a clean pair of panties, and Dove Powder Fresh deodorant in my purse. Not to mention Lancôme concealer, Lancôme dual finished pressed powder, and Maybelline Blackest Black Illegal Lengths mascara. I covered my eyes with Bvlgari Flora Sunglasses to hide the tired look on my face that the makeup couldn’t cover. I smelled just like Jamie, and I didn’t mind at all. Hopefully, no one else noticed.
I called a cab on my way out of the hotel, and just when I stepped through the revolving door, I saw Jamie’s driver standing alongside Jamie’s stretch Navigator, right in front of the hotel. Kalvin, the driver, tipped his hat to me, “Miss Campbell.” He opened the door for me.
I sighed, getting in. “Thank you, Kalvin.”
Chapter 5: Feeling Some Kinda Way
Charlene
You could imagine the look on my mother’s face when I pulled up in front of Alisha’s apartment building, getting out of Jamie’s car. She was helping Tyra and Danita place boxes in the back of a U-Haul truck. They were are dressed in loungewear, ready to work, and there I stood in two-thousand-dollar stilettos and sixty-thousand-dollar glasses.
They all looked at me as I approached them. I removed my glasses from my face, “Good morning, mama.”
My mother scoffed, then looked at her clock. “It’s twelve thirty, Charlene. We have all been here since nine o’clock, helping that boy, and you’re just now showing up to help? And is that Jamie’s Navigator that you just stepped out of?” Mama exclaimed, watching Jamie’s driver speed out of the parking lot.
I sighed. I really wasn’t in the mood for any of her shit. She always had something to say in Ne’Vaeh’s defense, and it got on my last muthafuckin’ nerve. I was in no mood to go back and forth with anyone. I felt like I’d gotten hit by a bus. I had drunk way too much the night before, and my asshole felt like it was on fire. Not sure if y’all have ever let a man enter your back door, but the next morning (if not right afterward), you have to shit, and it stings like a muthafucka when it comes out.
“Mama, don’t start. Damn!” I rolled my eyes.
“Charlie,” Kelissa hopped out of the U-Haul, dressed in sweat capris, a tank top, and a pair of Reeboks, “You haven’t changed a bit. It’s like you just wake up in the morning like, hmmm, I think I’ll be a ho today.”
I laughed a little. “This bitch,” I muttered to myself.
“Don’t get mad at your mama. She’s been here like the rest of us since nine o’clock this morning helping Ashton clean and pack shit up! The boy is an emotional wreck, Charlie! You’re his best friend; you’re supposed to be here, not laid up somewhere with Jamie’s muthafuckin’ ass!” Kelissa was pissed.
I rolled my eyes, so not in the mood for her shit either. “Look, Kelissa, you can save that shit, too. The last time I checked, I was grown. If I wanna fuck every ‘Jamie’ there is, I’ll do that. Mind your fuckin’ business, all of you.” I looked right at my mother. She and I hadn’t been on good terms since my baby shower.
“You are so disrespectful, Charlie.” My mother shook her head at me. “Your friends are here to help your ungrateful ass, and all you can do is flaunt your promiscuous lifestyle, screwing men like it’s a sport? This shit is going to catch up to you, I promise you! And when it does, these same ladies that you’re turning against you are going to be the very ladies that you’re going to need. Don’t believe me? Just watch.”
Kelissa approached me, dusting her hands on her sweats. Her eyes searched mine. She shook her head at me. “Well, isn’t this situation convenient though?” She grinned. “Your sister’s here, inside helping the fellas.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course Heather’s here; she asked if she could borrow some damn money to pay off all of those credit cards that I told her ass to cut up months ago. Mom, you spoiled that girl and gave her everything, now she thinks she can just spend money and not have to pay the shit back!”
Mama laughed a little. “Charlene, she’s not talking about Heather. She’s talking about Ne’Vaeh, Aaron’s little piece of Heaven.”
I looked at my mother. She was enjoying my pain a little bit too much. “The fuck is she doing here?”
Tyra shook her head at me. “Aaron’s in there helping his boy pack. You didn’t think he’d bring his wife with him? You need to take off them Christian Louboutin’s and put on these Reeboks, and get your ass in there to help straighten up.”
I looked at her as I stepped out of my heels, then bent over picking them up. All of them bitches were gloating in my face. They loved the fact that Ne’Vaeh was there with Aaron.
Tyra shook her head at me as she kicked off her Reeboks. “Really, Charlie? You really fuckin’ with that asshole again?” She handed me her shoes, taking mine from my hands.
I snatched the shoes from her hands. “Save the lectures, okay? This is really not the time. Why the fuck didn’t either of you call or text me to tell me that Ne’Vaeh w
as here?”
“Because you wouldn’t have come and that boy in there needs you.” Mama’s voice shook. “You need to put this petty shit aside because that girl in there—your sister—needs you, too.”
Alisha’s front door was propped open when I walked inside of the apartment. I walked right in on Ashton and Aaron placing a 46-inch LG television back in its box. I hadn’t seen Aaron up close since the night of our rehearsal dinner. At the New Year’s Eve party in 2014, he’d ignored me. Didn’t even look my way. Aaron looked amazing. Even in a plain white t-shirt, a pair of baggy sweats, and a fresh pair of white and gray Jordan’s, the nigga was still one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. Ashton looked up at me as I entered the room. Aaron looked in the direction of Ashton’s gaze.
Ashton looked at his watch. “So, you can’t tell time, Charlie?”
I sighed, placing my purse and glasses on top of a box. My feet were throbbing. Tyra’s feet were at least an inch smaller than mine. Tyra put my red bottoms in the backseat of her car, knowing I wasn’t going to leave without them. “Ashton, I had like ten times too much to drink last night. I just overslept.”
Ashton looked at me, shaking his head to himself. “You mind helping shorty in the kitchen clean out the ’fridge, the dishwasher, and the countertops? I mean, if that’s not too much to ask. I know you’ve had a long night. Fuckin’ and suckin’ every night has got to be exhausting. Which nigga was it last night? Or should I saw how many niggas was it last night?” Ashton threw a roll of tape across the room, damn near creating a dent on the wall.
“Yo.” Aaron grabbed Ashton’s arm. “Chill, dude.”
Ashton pulled from him. “I need some air, yo. Can you handle this last box? I’m about to go smoke a cigarette.” Ashton left the room to keep from creating a dent upside my head.
It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3 Page 8