It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3

by Krystal Armstead

  Anastasia shook her head at me. “Sweetie, you need to face him. You need to tell him about what happened. You have to! It was his baby, too! And don’t go throwing that shit in my face when you came here, knowing you were pregnant and still decided not to tell me! If I would have known, your ass would still be in Maryland with that muthafucka! Not here, married to Aaron’s high-yellow ass!”

  I looked at her. Everything that Aaron was saying about her was starting to make sense. Everything was about money. Feelings didn’t exist in her world. I almost never saw my cousin, Darryl. He stayed on the road. His life was his business and vice versa, when his life should have been about her. I knew she missed him, which was why she drove us so hard. He wasn’t around, so she could care less if any of us had our loves around either.

  Anastasia sighed, opening up a pack of Orbit gum, popping a piece in her mouth. “You need to talk to this nigga, seriously. You can’t run from him forever. I knew you’d never confront him; this was the only way.”

  “Jamie is only doing this shit to hurt me! He hates reading in front of people!” I exclaimed.

  “Shit, trust me, I’ll find someone to help him rehearse his lines a thousand muthafuckin’ lines if he needs to!” Anastasia laughed out loud, watching me roll my eyes. “You already know finding him the help he needs will not be a problem.”

  “Ummm, Mrs. Jones-Allan?” Anastasia’s shy secretary, Lucy, tapped lightly on Anastasia’s office door. “Kenya Love and Jamie Green, right this way.”

  I sighed, folding my arms, facing Kenya and Jamie as they walked through the door.

  Anastasia smiled brightly, walking over to Jamie, shaking his hand, “Hey, boo, long time no see. You know Ne’Vaeh, don’t you?”

  Jamie laughed a little, looking over at me. He knew I was pissed. “What’s up, shawty?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Kenya, Anastasia, that dark skinned dude with the limp could have played the part of Cooper. I mean, he’d already been shot before! He didn’t have to act like he was in a gang because wearing all that blue, so yeah, you know he’s still in one! What was wrong with him?”

  Anastasia was paying me no attention. She looked Jamie over, licking her plum-colored lips. “No, he is perfect. Smile for me, Jamie.”

  Jamie grinned, grill gleaming. “What’cha lookin’ at?”

  “I wanna see your grill.” Anastasia flirted.

  Jamie laughed a little. “You wanna see my what?”

  I was pissed. I grabbed my purse from Anastasia’s desk and stormed out of the office. I had enough shit on my plate. I had to schedule an ultrasound appointment to find out how far along that I was, let alone tell my boo about the baby in the first place. My health wasn’t up to par. I wanted to help pick out furniture for our new home, I wanted to build a life with my boo, and there Jamie was, crashing down on my heart again.

  Anastasia caught up with me before I made it half way down the hallway. “Wait!” She grabbed my arm.

  I pulled from her, pushing her off of me. “No, I’m not doing this! Flirt with Jamie on your own time! And find someone else to play the leading role of ‘Katrina,’ ’cause I’m not doing it! Shit, you like the muthafucka, why don’t you play the part?”

  Anastasia sighed. “Calm down for a minute. I mean, you’re seriously gonna let your feelings for this dude interfere with your career? Grow up! This isn’t about your personal life, Ne’Vaeh, it’s about business. You’re a grown ass woman, so you need to start acting like it.”

  “It’s not about my personal life? No, Anastasia, it’s not about your personal life! You drive all of us like you’re a fuckin’ slave driver! That’s what they all call you behind your back! Most of these chicks are married with children! You’re lonely, and you’re fuckin’ miserable, and since Darryl’s never around, you could care less if we have our husbands around! You miss him, and it hurts you just as much as it hurts me to be away from Aaron! Working as hard as you do is how you channel your pain. Don’t tell me that this shit isn’t personal, because it is! The reason why you hate Aaron so much is because he came to save me the way that you wish Darryl would come back home to save you, huh? You brought Jamie here to break us up, didn’t you? Didn’t you?” I pushed Anastasia.

  She just looked at me, her brown eyes searching my face. She was like a statue. The only thing moving on her were her eyes. She wanted to snap on me for putting my hands on her, but she didn’t because she knew that I was right. “I don’t like Aaron because he’s a part-time husband, just like mine, but then he wants to come up in here like he’s running shit. You keep that part-time family shit at the crib. When you’re here, it’s all about business. Now, Jamie Green is the perfect match for our role, like it or not. Deal with the shit. If you couldn’t take the heat, you shoulda stayed your black ass out of the fuckin’ kitchen, I’m just sayin’.”

  “How the hell am I supposed to explain this shit to Aaron?” I talked to Anastasia’s back as she walked away from me, strutting down the hallway back to her office.

  “Play rehearsal is at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. I expect to see you there on time, little girl,” Anastasia replied, walking into her office, slamming the door behind her.

  * * *

  “Aaron?” I called, walking through the front door of our new home that evening. Most of the boxes, which had been sitting in the living room, had already been unpacked. It smelled so good in the house, like cheese, pasta sauce, and chicken. The house was dimly lit by a few candles. The curtains were pulled back on the sliding doors that lead to our backyard. I saw candles, wine glasses, and a bottle of wine sitting out on the patio table. I grinned a little as I walked through the house and toward the kitchen. There my baby was, in a wife beater and sweats, looking so good. He grinned when he saw me.

  “I thought we were going out to eat?” I smiled, putting my purse and jacket on the countertop.

  “Why we gotta go out to eat when you got a nigga that can cook?” Aaron grinned, holding out his hand for me to come to him.

  I walked right into his arms, pressing my face against his chest. He smelled so good. I loved the feel of that boy. Everything about him felt so good. I was so lucky to have him, and my own family was trying to drive us apart.

  Aaron kissed my forehead. “What happened at the doctor? You alright, babe?”

  I looked up into his face, shaking my head. “I may not be able to go on this tour. The doctor says I need to slow down. The play might be okay, but I’m not so sure that I wanna do it. So, what happened with your grandfather’s lawyer?” I was trying to change the subject, and Aaron noticed.

  He looked down into my face. “My grandfather wants to me to fly out to Senegal next month to meet him. He’s sick. He wants me to take over Brightstone, his diamond mining company. I don’t know the first thing about the business, so he wants me to meet a couple of his nephews. I’m not gonna have time for this shit. I don’t even wanna be a part of this shit, but my mom wants me to do it. Taking over the company gives her control over her family, and you know she’s a control freak. Dealing with this company is just gonna mean more time that I’m gonna be away from you.”

  I looked up in his face, unwrapping my arms from around him. “Why doesn’t this surprise me?” I muttered.

  “So, did you talk to your cousin’s wife about you not going on this tour with her?” Aaron watched me get frustrated, rolling my eyes to myself. Aaron grabbed my hand, leading me out of the kitchen into the living room. He sat me down in the chair, then he started removing my tennis shoes, and then each sock.

  I sighed as Aaron’s warm hands rubbed my feet and ankles. “Yeah, I talked to her. She ain’t even trying to hear it. She also took it upon herself to hire someone for the lead male role, despite the auditions that we’d been holding these past few weeks. She’s always doing crazy shit, ugh!”

  Aaron’s eyes searched my face. “Who’d she pick?”

  “Please don’t trip.” I exhaled deeply, bracing myself for the impact of Aaron’s anger.
“Jamie.”

  Aaron immediately stood from the couch. “The fuck?”

  I sighed as Aaron made his way back to the kitchen where my purse was. I hopped up from the couch and rushed over to him. I knew he was about to get my iPhone and call Anastasia to curse her the fuck out. “Aaron, baby, don’t, please!”

  “Don’t what?” Aaron exclaimed. “Fuck her! I told you, she’s all about money! Having this dude in this play will have bitches lined up and down the street trying to get in to see this play! She doesn’t give a fuck that the nigga left you in the hospital to die having his baby! She doesn’t care that hearing that muthafucka’s name still—” Aaron stopped talking when he saw me fighting back the tears. He grabbed me to him, surrounding me in his arms. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

  I buried my face in his chest, “Ugh, how could she do this to me? I don’t know how I’m gonna do this. I really don’t wanna see him, Aaron. Seeing him still hurts a little.”

  “Naw, it hurts a lot,” Aaron whispered, knowing my heart.

  I sighed, turned my head to the side, laying my head against his chest. “Yeah, it does. I know I should have told him about the baby, but I didn’t want to talk about something that I couldn’t change. “Anastasia says I need to move on. She says I need to just get over the past and focus toward my future.”

  Aaron held me tight against his chest, chin resting on the top of my head. “She doesn’t care that you haven’t healed from losing his baby. She’s wrong, shorty. I’m pissed, I’m not even gonna lie, but I’m gonna play it cool until the muthafucka crosses the line. You know he’s gonna try, and I’m gonna be there waiting when he does.”

  * * *

  When I tell you that Aaron was at every rehearsal, he was at every rehearsal. There were several business trips that Aaron canceled just to stay with me in ATL. I’ll admit, I was loving having him around, but I hated the fact that he was only sticking around because he felt threatened by Jamie’s presence. I’m not going to pretend that it was easy to be in the same room as Jamie, because it wasn’t. If it wasn’t a line from the play, Jamie and I didn’t say a word to one another.

  The play was about a record producer, Katrina, who falls in love with the rapper that she manages, Cooper. Cooper came straight out of the streets of Compton to New York City. He escaped the gang life when he was discovered at a rap battle by Katrina. The play was supposed to have a lot of sex scenes, touching, kissing, fondling, but whenever the scenes were supposed to get steamy, I asked Kenya if she could have them close the curtain. Jamie felt the tension, and he tried to spark conversation from time to time, but I’d just roll my eyes and walk away. Whenever he’d get too close, Aaron was already on it, waiting for Jamie’s smooth-talking ass to say something inappropriate. It was coming; it had only been a few weeks.

  “Okay, ladies and gentleman,” Anastasia stood in the center of the actors and actresses in Kenya’s play, “Our first show is on July first—just two weeks. Our first show is here in ATL, and then we’re off to Charlotte, then to Richmond, then the D.C., then Baltimore, then Manhattan, and so on and so on. We got a busy tour schedule, y’all. You all have been working extra hard, and you have done a phenomenal job. And must I say, the chemistry between Katrina and Cooper is awesome!” Anastasia winked at me.

  I rolled my eyes at her, lightly clapping along with everyone else. I wasn’t feeling all that well, and it was getting harder and harder to keep food down. Two weeks had gone by since I found out that I was pregnant. It was the second week in June. At my prenatal visit, I found out that I was just under eight weeks pregnant, and that my due date was January 13, 2017. I was trying my hardest not to get excited and tell Aaron. He was too busy watching Jamie watching me to notice that I’d been eating my ass off, snacking on shit all day to keep from being nauseous.

  “Okay, I was gonna save this until after the documentation was notarized, but I think we should tell everyone the good news. This morning, at nine a.m., I met with my co-producers, and we signed Jamie Green onto Passion Productions sub-label, Swagga Kings. Give it up for Jamie Green, y’all, and welcome him to the family!” Anastasia whooped and whistled.

  My eyes widened. I looked over at Aaron, who was sitting in the first row, leaned back in his seat, calm and cool. His temples twitched, but he was still calm. He planned on going to play some ball with these other basketball players that were home for their hiatus, but after hearing that bit of information, oh, I’m sure he was making plans with me that night.

  Everyone loved Jamie. Groupies showed up to our rehearsals to see him. Shit, we were crowded damn near beyond capacity, and it wasn’t even the real thing. The sound of Jamie’s voice tickled every female’s heart in the room. I’m not gonna lie; it was hard as hell getting through the love scenes with him. The sight of him, the sound of his voice, shit, even his smell still drove my heart wild. He knew he looked good as a muthafucka. I would have to go home every night and make love to Aaron for hours to keep from thinking about Jamie. Jamie’s voice drove my heart crazy, but Aaron had the moves. He could dance his ass off, so you know his dick game was on point. Not saying Jamie couldn’t put it down, but Aaron catered to my body in every way. Sure Jamie could lay the pipe, but Aaron could work his tongue, his lips, his dick, his hands, his fingers. Aaron touched me in ways that I can’t even explain. When Aaron held me, I felt at home, where I was supposed to be. Being around Jamie only reminded me of the things that I hated about life.

  “Y’all going out to the club with us tonight?” Jackie-O strolled past us, as I walked hand in hand with Aaron to our car.

  I sighed. “Naw, Jackie, I gotta go home and go over this song that Anastasia gave me. Every time I turn around, she’s got me coming up with melodies.”

  Jackie-O smiled, her diamond grill gleaming under the street lights. “Oh, you’re talking about ‘Love Spell,’ your duet with Jamie? Oh, that single is gonna be hot when it drops, fo’ sho’!”

  Aaron and I both looked at her.

  “Duet with Jamie? What?” I asked.

  “See ya tomorrow at rehearsal, girl! I gotta get ready for this party tonight at Club Dip!” Jackie-O hurried off to her car.

  I looked at Aaron, who was already shaking his head to himself.

  “This bitch,” he muttered to himself.

  I’ll admit, he was doing a really good job those two weeks keeping his cool, considering. As long as Jamie and I kept it straight business, Aaron was cool. As soon as Jamie tried to ask anything that didn’t have to do with the play (I’m talking about anything as simple as “Shawty, can I borrow your pen?” or even “Shawty, what time is it?”), Aaron cut that conversation off where it started. I knew Aaron was feeling all types of pissed at the fact that Anastasia was trying her best to get me to talk to Jamie.

  We got to his brand new Cadillac. It was clean, sharp, pretty, and white gold, just like him. I loved it. He opened the door for me, I slipped inside, and he closed the door behind me.

  I sighed, watching him walk with an attitude, muttering to himself. He got in the car, cranked the engine, and then just sat there for a minute. I looked at him, eyes tracing his profile.

  “Ummm, my cousin, Malik wants me to meet him in Senegal on Wednesday. He’s gotta show me the family business, and we have to meet in person to sign some paperwork.” Aaron didn’t look at me; he just looked straight forward.

  I looked at him, shrinking back in my chair. “And you’re just now telling me this because?”

  “I didn’t tell you until now because I wasn’t gonna go until next week, but I think I should roll out now so I can get back in time for your first show. You have a concert in a few days anyway, you’re not gonna have time for me. Shit, you barely have time for me as it is. I only get to see you at your rehearsals, shorty. By the time you get home, you’re too exhausted to spend any real time with me. Sure, we make love, but that’s it. Baby, I’m not complaining about the sex. Shit, the sex is out of this world, but I want to spend some quality time with my wife outsi
de of the bedroom and outside of business. I wanna get to know you. And my idea of getting to know you isn’t seeing you with him.” Aaron looked at me, his emeralds searching my face.

  I just looked at him, not sure what to say. I wanted to curse him out, telling him that the only reason he stayed in town so long, canceling all of his important business meetings was because of “him.” But I kept my mouth shut because Aaron was already heated enough as it was.

  “I don’t like this shit at all. Every time this nigga is around or anytime you’re even thinking about this dude, I don’t exist. I wasn’t shit for years because of him, Heaven. I ain’t trying to go back to that. Don’t let your cousin’s wife push me back to that shit, shorty. I’m tellin’ you, if this dude tries me, I’m going to jail, yo.” Aaron shook his head, putting the car in gear.

  “Aaron,” I called out to him. He didn’t want to even look at me. I grabbed his hand, “Aaron, look at me.”

  Aaron looked at me, eyebrows knitted together.

  “Baby, this is your ring on my finger,” I assured him. “I told you last year when you asked me to marry you that I’d quit this music shit if you wanted me to, and you told me to stick with it. Do you want me to quit?”

  Aaron shook his head. “Naw, I’m not sayin’ that you have to quit.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I’m sayin’, really. All I know is dude missed out. He’s here to try to get you back; he’s just waiting for the right moment. I’m not sayin’ I don’t trust you, because I do; I just don’t trust that muthafucka. I have plans for us, Heaven, and you’re letting Anastasia’s goals ruin that shit. I’m proud of you, don’t get me wrong, but you have to let her know that enough is enough. And when I want my time with you, she needs to give it to me. Play or no play, tour or no tour, at the end of July, I wanna take you to England to meet some of my father’s family members. And you need to let shorty know that shit, too. She can’t keep you from me.”

  * * *