Anastasia rolled her eyes at Dr. Leyland. “Girl, I’m gonna tell you now like I told you and your sister back then: if your sister couldn’t take the heat, then why the fuck did she step her ass in the kitchen? You need to stay in your lane, Dr. Leyland. Your sister was a drug addict, and that’s why she couldn’t hang. You wanna throw shade, I can throw some, too.”
Dr. Leyland cleared her throat. I could tell she wanted to dig in Anastasia’s ass, but she didn’t. She removed her Prada glasses, looking Anastasia in her face. “You’re gonna have to let Ne’Vaeh go. She can’t handle a world-wide tour, let alone traveling for this play. If you care about your cousin, you will take it easier on her, and you will take her off of both tours.”
“My cousin is stronger than you and her punk-ass husband think she is!” Anastasia was getting agitated with everyone’s opinion about my health and her drive for greatness. “You and Aaron are only hurting her by always limiting her!”
“No, you’re hurting her by pushing her beyond her limits and hiring this man, who though he brings you in massive amounts of revenue, has caused this girl massive amounts of pain!” Dr. Leyland spoke beyond her duty as my doctor. She was then speaking to Anastasia as my friend. “You want to hurt this girl? She just lost a baby by this bastard, and you’re gonna hire him to work side by side with her?”
Everyone in the room just stared at the doctor like she was speaking a foreign language. Jamie laughed to himself. I’m pretty sure he was tired of people throwing shade at him as if he wasn’t in the room listening.
Anastasia laughed a little to herself. “Doc, you’re really overstepping your boundaries. You must wanna lose your license talkin’ to me like you don’ lost your muthafuckin’ mind. My cousin needs to grow up and face reality instead of running from it. Putting these two together was the only way to make her realize that she really can get over him. I put them together so she could see that she doesn’t need him. That she doesn’t need him to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to drink, to live! I watched my cousin dyin’, missing this nigga. I saw it all! Since she’s been with Aaron, she’s been happy, alive, breathing, and well! I wanted her to see this nigga again so she can see how strong she’s really become without him! That Aaron made her stronger.” Anastasia looked at me. “You can do this; you need to do this.”
I just looked at her, tears streaming down my face from the moment she mentioned my state of mind those months after losing my daughter.
Anastasia shook her head at me, signaling her crew to get up out of their seats. “We gotta get back to the studio to rehearse. Our first show is tomorrow. Like I told you before, there are plenty of bitches willing and ready to take your spot. You’re good, but no matter how good you are, there is always someone better. You wanna make a name for yourself, you gotta work for it. You have something special, Ne’Vaeh. I wouldn’t push you if I didn’t think you did. So, you gonna be the star of this show or not?”
I looked at Jamie, then at my doctor, who was shaking her head at me. I looked back at Anastasia. “Yeah, I’ll be there,” I sighed.
Anastasia looked at Jamie, “You gonna give shawty a ride home, or what?”
“You trippin’, shawty.” I heard Aaron’s voice before I looked up and saw him in the doorway.
My heart pounded in my chest at the sight of him. Oh, he looked so good, dressed in a plaid blue and white short-sleeved flannel shirt and baggy dark blue jeans. It didn’t take much for him to look delectable. He was fly effortlessly.
Jamie stood from his seat, temples twitching like he didn’t expect Aaron to make it back from Africa in time.
Aaron glanced at Jamie’s stance and then looked at Dr. Leyland, who looked relieved to see him. She knew that whatever she said, Aaron would back her up.
“Doc, what’s the status? How is she?” Aaron asked her. “Seeing that y’all got her hooked up to another IV in a few weeks’ time doesn’t look good to me.”
Dr. Leyland shot Anastasia a quick glare. “Like I was just telling your wife’s manager, producer, and choreographer, Ne’Vaeh needs her rest. This whole lifestyle isn’t for her. Ne’Vaeh needs a break for a long time, at least for the next year. You need to convince her that she needs to go home and stay home and that if she doesn’t listen to my advice, I can’t continue to treat her. She’ll have to find another doctor.” Dr. Leyland patted Aaron on the shoulder, then left the room.
All of Anastasia’s dancers rolled their eyes and smacked their lips at her as she left the room.
“Funky bitch.” Jackie-O rolled her eyes, smacking the hell out of the gum she was chewing. Oh, I hated the way she was always popping that got-damn gum.
“Oh, my goodness, can you stop poppin’ that got-damn gum like that?” I muttered under my breath.
Aaron approached my side, pulling up the doctor’s stool, sitting down beside me. He leaned over, gently kissing my lips, giving me that I-wanna-fuck-right-now kiss again. He knew Jamie was watching, and he didn’t give a fuck. “You gotta listen to your doctor, Heaven,” he whispered. “I care about you. I need you.”
I looked into Aaron’s eyes as he sat up straight.
“Like I just told that bitch who just walked up out of here, Ne’Vaeh can do this. She’s not as weak as y’all are making her out to be. My cousin is strong. She’s been through worse than a few IVs. Shit, IVs and a few hospital stays ain’t got shit on what you and Jamie have put her heart through these past few years!” Anastasia scoffed. “Don’t get me started, nigga, ’cause I can go all fuckin’ night!”
Aaron shook his head, looking me in my face. “Anastasia can talk all the shit she wants, but they call you ‘Twinkie’ for a reason, shorty. They don’t think you can dance like them, look like them, talk like them, walk like them. They treat you like you ain’t shit, and when you’re on stage with these girls, who do you think the people see? They don’t see you, because Anastasia has the dance routine centered on their fuckin’ strip tease and not your voice. She’s using your voice to get her girl’s the attention they need to draw more attention to that fuckin’ strip club!”
My lips trembled. I hated having everyone in my ear telling me what to do. I knew Aaron cared about me, but at that moment, all I could hear was him criticizing me for not being as sexy as my cousin and her bad bitches. I wanted to look like them, be like them, act like them, talk and walk like them, and I hated the pressure of not being able to. The whole reason why I quit the dance team in high school was that I was tired of everyone judging me about how skinny I was. Dancing with Anastasia reminded me of being on a cheerleading squad with Charlie. Charlie had the looks, the sex appeal, and the confidence. She exuded sex without even trying, just like Anastasia. I, on the other hand, had to pretend to be something that I wasn’t, just to sell an album. Sure, I was cute and talented in a gospel choir. But to a record executive that was once one of the baddest strippers known to man, cute and talented wasn’t enough. I had to represent her, and she was all about sex appeal. Yes, the fact that Aaron thought I was sexy should have been enough, but at that moment it wasn’t. He hadn’t called me all week because he was upset about my duet with Jamie. I wasn’t sure if he was just mad because Jamie was around, or if he really wanted me out of harm’s way.
“You don’t think I can do this? You think that I’m not sexy, that I don’t fit in with this group. Is that it, Aaron?” I shook my head at him, drying my tears.
Aaron made a face at me. “What? How could you even ask me some shit like that when I barely notice any of these females? I’ve seen strippers before, shorty. You see one ass, you’ve seen ’em all.”
“Aye, shawty, I think you’re sexy,” Jamie spoke up.
Aaron looked over at Jamie, ready to jump across the bed on his ass.
Jamie grinned, looking straight at Aaron. “I think when you’re on stage, all the niggas see is you. Anastasia put these girls with you on stage to show the world that no matter your size, you can be sexy and draw a crowd. You’re a crowd pleaser. Don’t let
anyone tell you different, not even your nigga. Especially not your nigga.”
Aaron stood from his stool, about to pop off, but I grabbed his arm. Aaron looked at me.
I looked up at him, shaking my head. “Aaron, baby, I’m fine.”
* * *
No, I wasn’t fine. I was so upset that night, sitting in my kitchen, at the bar. I was so tempted to drink the entire bottle of Hennessey that was staring me in the face. Aaron was trying to play me like I was the only girl that he noticed when he said himself that all people saw on stage was those strippers and not me. And there Jamie was, trying to pull at my heart strings, telling me that I was the sexiest girl in the room no matter what. Maybe Anastasia was right, maybe Aaron was trying to hold me back. I wasn’t so sure at that moment, but I did know that I wasn’t ready to give up singing or acting in the play just yet. I should have quit that play the day my doctor quit me, but I didn’t. And I regret it to this day.
I sat there, listening to the songs that I recorded about Aaron. The song playing was called “Workout Sex.” The title wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the song, but the beat and the vibe of the song made you feel like you were having sex in the weight room. My next album was going to be centered on Aaron. I hated the way my cousin worked me, but she gave me the opportunity I would have never had otherwise. Other artists that I knew had to fuck their way to stardom. With my cousin, all she wanted me to do was learn to stand on my own two feet. She thought I was stronger than I thought that I was, but I wasn’t so sure.
“Babe, you still mad at me?” Aaron walked into the kitchen with nothing on but a pair of boxers. Oh my goodness, if muscles, chests, and abs could kill, boy.
I sat at the bar, in sky-blue lace panties and a matching bra. I looked up at Aaron, trying to be mad at him, but that body and my hormones weren’t playing fair at all. I sighed, shaking my head at him, eyes tracing his abs, then his muscular arms. “Why are you trying to make me feel special when you know I’m not? You don’t think I’m sexy enough to be with Anastasia and her crew, and that hurts a little. It hurts a lot.” I looked up into his face.
Aaron sighed, sitting at the bar with me, pulling my stool closer to his, in between his legs. His eyes traced my face. “Heaven, you already know what you mean to me. You ain’t no stripper, and you don’t have to be. You’re the most adorable thing that I’ve ever seen. I don’t want that type of girl. If I wanted that type of girl, I would be with that type of girl. I love you for who you are, Heaven, I told you that. Don’t let these people trip your head up. Stay my sweet little girl, please. You’re sexy as a muthafucka, at any size. I know I told you not to quit singing, but your doctor quit on you because she thinks you’re hurting yourself. She told you what to do to take care of yourself, and you’re not listening.”
I sighed.
“And then you got your ex in the hospital room, cosigning with Anastasia. I’m outnumbered by your people, and I’m starting to think that their opinion means more to you than mine. I understand that I’m not around much, but I’m here as soon as I get some free time. I should be training for the next season, but I’m here with you.” Aaron held my thighs in his hands.
I looked into his face. “Yeah, but you’re only here because he’s here. If he wasn’t, you’d be gone for days at a time. Don’t try to play me, Aaron, I know you. You’re jealous.”
Aaron disagreed. “What I got to be jealous for? A person is only jealous when they don’t have something. I’m being protective of what’s mine. There’s a difference.” His eyes searched mine. “Okay, I can’t lie, I don’t like him around you. I’ll admit that yeah, I canceled some business trips to keep an eye on you because I wanna protect the heart that this nigga gets joy out of breaking. But don’t mistake my reason for being here just because he’s here. I love being around you. Heaven, nothing feels better than being with you. It took me forever to get you, and I’m not trying to lose you.”
I looked up into Aaron’s face. His hands felt so good gripping my thighs. I shook my head at him, “Baby, I put some thought into this, and I can’t just quit on Anastasia. When I needed to get away from Maryland, she brought me back here with her. I felt like no one else cared about or loved me. I needed an outlet, and she gave it to me. I can just sit on stage and sing on a stool; I don’t gotta dance. I can continue to act in this play as long as I stay hydrated and rested. I can do this for a little while, Aaron. When it gets to be too much, babe, I promise you, I’ll give it a rest.”
Aaron began kneading his hands into my thighs. “I hate that that nigga is near you. I don’t even want him fuckin’ lookin’ at you, let alone talkin’ to you, singin’ to you and shit.”
I gasped. His hands were so strong and passionate. It made my clit tingle. He pulled me closer to him by my thighs and gently kissed my lips.
He started bobbing his head to the music. He grinned, eyes tracing my lips. “What’s this song you’re playin’?”
I grinned at him, reaching for the remote on the countertop to turn the song up.
Aaron looked into my face, listening to the words. “I like it. It sounds like a seductive workout.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. “I worked on this song all night the day that you left me to go to Africa.”
“You wrote this for me?” Aaron kissed my lips again.
I stood from my chair in between his legs. I backed up a little so he could get a better view of my body. I stared into his eyes as I danced slowly and seductively to the music. I was very flexible, contorting my body into all types of sexual positions. I could tell that my shifting curves were driving him wild. He rose from his seat, tilting his head, watching me as I bent over, touching my toes. Aaron held my waist in his hands, watching my booty slowly twerk. He’d never seen the entire dance routine that Anastasia had me perform for our dance break during our concert tour. I had to show it to him, because apparently, he didn’t think that I could hang.
I had him pinned up against the bar. I popped my booty on him.
“Shit, hold up. Got-damn.” He whispered, an erection forming in his boxers.
I grinded on his dick so hard, his dick bust straight through the opening in his boxers.
I stood up straight, turning around, facing Aaron, and looking up into his face, grinning, holding his dick in my hands, sticking it back inside his boxers. “Didn’t think a girl as little as me could pop it like that, huh?”
Aaron looked down into my face. “This is the shit she has you doing at y’all concert?”
I grinned, nodding, looking up at him. “You like it?”
Aaron scoffed, looking my body over, still picturing me dancing in his head. “Like it? Man, I am in love with a stripper. Naw, Heaven, you can’t do this dance outside of the house, a’ight? Hell naw, fuck that.”
I laughed out loud. “Naw, bruh, you said that I wasn’t a stripper, that I couldn’t hang, remember? Now you claiming me?”
Aaron grinned, pulling me closer to him, kissing my lips. “Naw, you was playin’ or something in the studio, because you didn’t show a nigga this shit!” He slid his hands up my back, pulling my sports bra over my head.
I gasped as he gripped my hips, then lifted me on top of the countertop, standing in between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, looking into his face.
“I’ve been waiting on all of this to be mine since high school. I’m still trying to wrap my heart and mind around the fact that you’re really mine, Heaven.” Aaron’s eyes gazed into mine. “So you have to forgive me if I’m a li’l overprotective, a’ight?”
I nodded. “It really feels good to have someone finally really protect my heart. It feels strange, but it feels so good.”
Aaron held my face in his hands, kissing my lips. “Aye, do that dance for me again, only this time, take your panties off.”
* * *
“Good luck tonight!” Renée made her way into my dressing room the next night, for the first showing of Thug in Love. She looked so pretty in her Christian Loubou
tins. Her newly-dyed platinum blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She looked like she was at the GRAMMYs instead of a play.
I bit my lip nervously as the makeup artist dusted blush over my cheeks. “Thank you for coming!”
Renée waved her hand at me, sitting down in the chair next to me. “Girl, you know I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” She looked around the room, seeing all of the roses scattered about, and then at me. “Where’s bae?”
I looked at her, surprised she didn’t call him “the bastard who stole me from her” or “the nigga who didn’t ask her permission to marry me.” I sighed. “Girl, he’s out there with Anastasia, making sure the sound is perfect for the play. I think he’s just as nervous as I am.”
I was sweating bullets. Not just because I was nervous performing in front of thousands of people that night, but because I was going to have to be alone onstage with Jamie. He was looking so good that night. He passed me in the hallway earlier that night, winking at me, and my heart fluttered in my chest. Of course, I had rolled my eyes, giving him that “I don’t give a fuck about you or anything that you do” look, but y’all know my heart was on fire seeing him again. Yes, I loved Aaron and could not have asked for a better man than him, but a part of me was missing, and I knew it was Jamie. I really needed closure, even though I was afraid to get it.
“Girl, you got everybody in the family back at home talking about you and this play. You know they got something to say about you and Jamie. Did you know there’s a ‘Behind the Movie’ for this shit? It’s been on VH1 all week!” Renée exclaimed.
I rolled my eyes, then closed them as eyeliner was applied to my eyelids. “Lawd, Anastasia needs help. Now she’s airing shit without people’s permission? That is so like her. I’m telling you, this chick is a hundred times worse than you!”
“Well, all I can say is that she be gettin’ that gwap,” Renée replied.
It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3 Page 16