Renée just looked at me, not really sure what to say.
I exhaled deeply, looking at her, bracing myself, because what I was about to say was going to blow her mind. “I started dating Ashton about two and a half months ago.”
Renée’s eyes grew big. “What? Why would you do that boy like that when he just lost Alisha? You know you don’t love him! Why would you play with his heart like that?”
I shook my head to myself. “I know, Renée. I know I was wrong, but it felt so good to be with him. He always cherished me, you know that. Jamie didn’t want me, and Ashton was the next best thing.”
Renée was shocked that even I could be that cruel. “So, let me guess, when Jamie came back from his tour with Anastasia, y’all started seeing each other? And you broke things off with Ashton?”
I hesitated. “Well, no, I was still seeing Ashton. I couldn’t just cut him off like that because . . .” I reached over to my purse, which sat on her countertop, and took out the envelope that contained the results to the DNA test. And I handed the envelope to her.
Renée looked down at the envelope, reading the return address. “‘Quest Diagnostic’?” She looked back up at me. “Charlie, you went and got a DNA test for August? Why—why do you need a DNA test?”
“Because I found out that Ashton and I slept together back in 2014.” I watched Renée stumbled over her own two feet.
“Hold up, wait a muthafuckin’ minute!” She exclaimed. “What the fuck do you mean you ‘found out?’ You fucked so many different niggas that you can’t remember whose dick is whose?”
I looked at her. Even when she was angry she was a fuckin’ smart-ass. “I went to one of Misty’s parties, and her brother’s spiked the drink with all types of shit. Apparently, a lot of us girls drank that shit. I guess Ashton got to me before anyone could find me and take me home.”
“And when did this happen?” Renée’s light eyes searched my face.
“The night before we went to Miami.” I watched Renée toss the envelope back onto the counter before walking out of the kitchen to go sit down at her dining room table.
Renée sat there, at the table, covering her face with her hands, leg shaking in frustration. She was speechless for about five minutes. I am sure she was thinking the same things that I was thinking. “Throw that shit away.” Renée removed her hands from her face, her light face turning red. Well, I wasn’t thinking that.
“What?” I laughed a little, not meaning to laugh out loud. “Throw what away?”
“The results to that fuckin’ test. Throw it out! The results don’t matter now, and I swear”—Renée stood back up from the table—“I won’t let you hurt my cousin again!”
“Renée, are you serious? I need to tell Jamie about this!” I exclaimed.
“If this would have been a year ago, yeah, I would have told you to tell my cousin about this bullshit. But you saw my cousin, she is so happy with Aaron. I can’t let you steal that from her like you did last year! She was pregnant with Jamie’s baby, and she left him, only to lose that baby, too! Leave my cousin alone! Let this shit go, Charlie!” Renée was outraged.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Renée just kept on talking.
“You got who you want, and my cousin has who she needs! No need to go starting any more shit than you’ve already started! You started a chain of events that just keeps on keepin’ the fuck on! My cousin deserves to be happy, isn’t that what you told her a few hours ago? She’s having Aaron’s baby! Do you know what confusion this will cause her if she finds out that the reason she left Jamie didn’t even exist? You will fuck everyone’s world up, including Jamie’s! He loves that little boy!”
“Well, what about Ashton? What if this baby is his? What is he supposed to do?” My head was spinning with all sorts of questions and what-if scenarios.
“Just don’t tell him. You’re good at keeping secrets, aren’t you?” Renée fired more shots at me.
“Fuck this shit!” I shook my head, picking up the envelope off of the countertop, about to just rip it open.
“Ne’Vaeh said every moment with Aaron is so sweet.” Renée walked back into the kitchen, laughing to herself. “She makes her life with this boy sound like a Nineties R&B video, for real! She says she wakes up every morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, and French toast. He gives her the choice of fresh-squeezed orange juice or lemonade. She says every night, they have dinner by candlelight on their back porch. She says this dude has a package delivered to their house every muthafuckin’ Friday! And do you know what is in that box?” She stood before me, looking down at me, standing five feet eleven inches from the ground.
I looked up at her, still gripping the envelope in my hands. “No. What’s in it?”
“The dress that he wants her to wear that night for their date! The muthafucka takes her out on a date every Friday night like they just met!” Renée exclaimed. “He is making up for the time that he missed with her in high school while he was wasting his time fuckin’ around with you!”
It was hard fighting back the tears. The truth hurt like a muthafucka.
“You know I never really liked that boy, especially when I found out that he was trying to get at my cousin when he was dating you. But I had a change of heart last year when he came to rescue my baby, Ne’Vaeh. You should’ve seen her last year.” Tears lined Renée’s false lashes. “She was a mess when she lost that beautiful baby. The doctors had to pry that baby out of her arms. She went weeks without being able to sleep, the same way she couldn’t sleep when she lost Kevin. She was afraid to go to sleep, because every time she closed her eyes, she saw little Sara’s face. She went almost a month without eating. Doctors had to sedate her to put an IV in just to get her to at least take in some fluids. I used up all of my sick and vacation leave to stay with her in Atlanta. That girl would rip the IV out as soon as they put that shit in! I watched the doctors pump her stomach after she overdosed on prescription meds! She needed both you and Jamie, and neither one of you muthafuckas were there!” She shoved me into the counter, knocking the envelope out of my hands.
I looked at her, unable to fight back my tears any longer.
“Aaron went halfway around the world to get away from this bullshit with y’all; he didn’t have to come back to check on Ne’Vaeh, but he did! It took me a while to see it, but he really loves her. He loved her so much that he gave her up, let her find out on her own what Jamie was all about. When Ne’Vaeh needed a friend, Aaron was there, and I will always respect him for that. My cousin loses everything that she loves. Please, don’t do this to her. Just leave them alone. Let them be happy.” Renée dried her face with her fingertips.
“I never meant for any of this shit to happen. I don’t wanna hurt her, but what am I supposed to do? You know I love Jamie, but I don’t deserve him. Not like this.” I looked up into Renée’s face.
Renée went over to her front door and opened it, showing me the way out. “I really wished you would’ve kept this shit to yourself. I don’t wanna have this shit floating around in my head, Charlene!”
I picked up the envelope, putting it in my purse. “I’m sorry, Renée.” I threw my Hermes Himalayan Croc Birkin bag over my shoulder. “I didn’t know who else to tell.”
“You could have told anyone but me! You did this shit on purpose, because you know it’s hard for me to keep a secret from this girl! Get the fuck out, Charlene,” Renée hissed as I walked toward her. Renée grabbed my arm as I walked passed her.
I looked up into her face.
“I’m telling you, Charlene, rip that shit up now,” Renée warned me.
* * *
“Why have you been avoiding my calls, Charlie?” Jamie asked as he strolled through the front doors of my mansion the following day, around lunch time. He looked at me as my butler closed the door behind him.
I stood on the last step, holding little August in my arms. As soon as he saw Jamie, he damn near jumped out of my arms to get to Jamie.
Jamie
approached me as August ran into his arms. Jamie smiled at his son, “Hey, little man. You been givin’ your mama a hard time today?”
Little August giggled, hugging his father tightly around his neck. I loved the way they loved each other. I tried to listen to Renée’s advice, but I couldn’t throw the envelope away. And it took everything in me not to look at it. I’d been calling Ashton non-stop since the day he left the club, but I’d received no answer. And when his mother and cousin called me looking for Ashton, too, I started to worry.
Jamie looked at me. My hair was a mess, and I was still dressed in the clothes that I wore to Ne’Vaeh’s baby shower the day before. I was standing there, holding the tiny velvet box that Ashton had left on my pillow. Jamie looked down at the box in my hand. He reached for my hand, taking the box from it. He flipped the box open. The light from the diamonds danced across his face.
Jamie looked at me, closing the box, handing the box back to me. “Shawty, didn’t I tell you? I told you he had a ring for you, you thought I was playin’!” Jamie shook his head, watching the tears slide down my cheeks. He put August down on the floor.
August clung to Jamie’s legs, looking up at the two of us in wonder. “Mommy cry,” he whispered, looking up at me.
“Mommy will be okay, August. She’s just sad,” Jamie whispered back.
I looked at Jamie as he reached for my face, drying my tears. He held my face with one hand and dried my tears with the other. I looked up into his face, holding the hand that held my face. “I’ve been trying to call him for four days. I know he said that he didn’t wanna talk to me anymore, but he’s never avoided my phone calls! Not to mention his family has been calling me looking for him. I’m worried, Jamie. He’s my best friend!” I cried out loud. “Look at this ring that he gave me! I don’t deserve shit like this! He could have bought himself a new house! Jamie, Ashton practically bought me a house!”
Jamie grabbed me in his arms, squeezing me tight. “Charlene, everything will be alright. Just give him some time to adjust. You probably need some time to adjust, too.”
I looked up into his face. I did need time to adjust to life with Jamie. He was trying to do the right thing for a change. He was giving me a chance to be with him. He wanted to be my boyfriend, possibly even more. I wanted to tell him about the DNA test, but the way he held me felt oh-so-good, and I wasn’t ready to lose that. “Jamie, I didn’t wanna hurt him like that. I love you. I wanna be with you forever if I can, but not like this. I could have picked a better way to tell him that it was over between us, that it never should have started. I’ve always wanted you, and he’s always wanted me. I should have left things the way that they were.”
Jamie looked down into my face. “With who? Him or me?”
I hesitated. “I don’t know.” The only reason why I didn’t know was that my heart wouldn’t allow me to open the results to the DNA test.
“Agosto, niño!” Lilia called as she came down the hallway. “It’s time to eat, little boy!”
Lilia was in a cheerful mood until she saw Jamie standing there talking to me. She rolled her eyes, walking up to Jamie, picking August up, holding him in her arms. She started to walk away from us when I felt the urge to say something to her about her funky-ass attitude.
“Look, Lilia. Your attitude is starting to get on my last got-damn nerve!” I called out to her as Jamie let go of me.
Lilia sighed, turning around to face me, her lips pursed together.
I walked off the last step, walking over to meet her.
Lilia looked me up and down, shaking her head at me. “Eres patéticio,” she sucked her teeth at me.
I rolled my eyes. “Look bitch, I’m going through too much shit. I don’t have my Spanish translator turned on in my head right now, so if you’re gonna talk shit, you’re gonna have to speak in English, or at least Ebonics.”
“You’re pathetic!” she exclaimed, her Spanish accent almost non-existent. “Ashton really loves you! The night that you went out to the club with this,” Lilia rolled her eyes over to Jamie and then back to me, “asshole, Ashton was over here lighting candles and sprinkling rose petals for you! He had a trail that led from the front door all the way to your bedroom! It was the most romantic thing that either of us maids had ever seen.”
I dried my face, feeling as pathetic as she was making me sound.
“He helped your cook make the most spectacular seafood platter. Ashton sat at that dining room table for hours. When you didn’t show up, he called your mother, who already knew that Ashton planned on proposing to you. It just so happened that Ashton stayed over long enough to hear Selena from that celebrity gym leave a message on your answering ma—” Lilia’s voice was drowned out for a few seconds from the loud ringing of my house phone. “She left a message saying that she found your gold ankle bracelet in the shower in the weight room that Jamie had reserved for that day. If you’re gonna fuck around on someone, why’d it have to be a man like that? If you didn’t want him, you should have stayed the fuck away from him! You have men calling here for you all day! That police officer that was here a few months ago has been calling you all morning! That’s probably him calling right now!”
Jamie and I both looked at her.
“Jayson? Jayson Taylor?” I felt an awful burning sensation in the pit of my stomach.
Lilia looked at me, her hazel eyes searching my face. By the look on my face, she could tell that he wasn’t calling about sex, but about something that may have had to do with my Ashton hadn’t been returning any of my calls. “Sí. He called about five times already. I just—”
I put my hands up to stop her from talking. “Why didn’t you come get me out of bed? Why hadn’t anyone told me that he called?”
Carlita walked slowly into the corridor, with the cordless phone pressed against her chest. “Señorita, it’s the police.”
I rushed to her, slowly taking the phone from her hands. I heard Jayson’s voice through the receiver before I even placed it to my ear. “Charlene? Charlene, can you hear me?”
I stuttered, pressing the phone to my ear. “Y–yes, I can hear you. Jayson?”
“Charlene, you need to come to Ashton’s house right away.” Jayson’s voice shook.
“Why?” My lips quivered.
“Just come, Charlene, please.” Jayson hung up the phone.
All types of thoughts were running through my head as Jamie flew down the highway, doing about ninety trying to get to Ashton’s place. Ashton lived right outside of Baltimore City, and we were way on the other side of the state, outside of D.C. It took about an hour to work our way through traffic to get to Ashton’s condo. Jamie barely put the car in park when I jumped out of the passenger’s seat and stepped right onto what looked like a crime scene straight out of Law and Order. Yellow police tape was stretched out around the entrance to Ashton’s building.
I covered my mouth in shock as I walked up the sidewalk to meet Jayson, standing alongside other police officers. Jayson was dressed in his civilian clothes and looked like he’d just gotten out of bed. Jayson eyed Jamie and me approaching him. Jayson looked at Jamie and then looked at me.
“Jayson, what happened?” I looked passed him and at paramedics as they made their way into the building. “What’s going on?”
Jayson hesitated, “I’ve been trying to call you all morning.” His eyes glistened.
“About what?” I looked at him, heart slamming against my ribcage.
“How well do you know Ashton Brookes?” The police officer who was standing next to Jayson, turned toward me, notepad in his hand.
I looked at the blond-haired police officer, and then back at Jayson. “What the fuck is this?”
Jayson sighed. “Charlene, just answer him.”
I looked at the police’s badge, then back into his face. “Officer Norman, the fuck you mean how well do I know Ashton? He’s my best friend; we grew up together. Why?”
“When the maintenance man got word of water leaking from
the ceiling from the bathroom in the condominium below Ashton’s, he knocked on Ashton’s front door. This was taped to the front door.” Officer Norman handed me a card-sized envelope that had been opened.
“Why are y’all opening Ashton’s mail?” I snatched it from him, seeing my name was written on the back of the envelope. “What is this?”
“A–a suicide note.” Jayson watched as I dropped the envelope from my hands.
I would have dropped to my knees hadn’t Jamie caught me in his arms. I couldn’t make a sound, I couldn’t move, my mind wasn’t functioning for an unknown amount of time. Everything went black before I came to my senses. Or should I say came out screaming?
“Charlie, shawty, breathe!” Jamie exclaimed, watching me screaming out and hyperventilating at the same time. I was hysterical, so much that the paramedics rushed over to where we stood with a stretcher. I pushed everyone, including Jamie, off of me.
“No, where is Ashton? Where is he? Why hasn’t he been answering my calls?” I screamed out, beating Jayson in his chest.
Jayson caught my arms. “He’s gone, Charlie! He’s been gone for about four days! The maintenance man found him in the bathroom . . . hanging from the shower curtain rod by a rope.”
I screamed out, “No!” I squealed, falling against Jayson’s chest. “Where is he? Where is Ashton?” I sobbed, feeling awful pains in my chest and head. I must have passed out twice in Jayson’s arms, because the next thing I knew I was in the back of the ambulance, laid out on a stretcher.
I came to, screaming and fighting again. The paramedics practically had to fight me to get me to stay in the ambulance. It took a few minutes for the male paramedic to calm me down a little. I started to hyperventilate. The paramedic placed a mask over my face. The air supply calmed me down a little—that was until I saw paramedics wheeling a body enclosed in a body bag out of the apartment building on a stretcher. I fought to get out of the ambulance. The paramedics attempted to hold me back. I pushed them off of me, and I jumped out of the ambulance on my way over to the paramedics who were carrying Ashton’s body.
It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3 Page 23