“Yeah. Her parents took her home a few days ago.”
Lexie toyed with her chopsticks, picking at the rough wood on one of them. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too,” Kate said. “It’s not going to be the same around here after you leave.”
Lexie dipped a piece of her California roll in soy sauce and stuffed it into her mouth.
“Are you ready to go home?” Kate asked.
Lexie forced a smile.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied in a low, shaky voice.
“Hey, it’s me,” Kate said. “What’s bothering you?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m worried about going home. After doing undercover work for this long, nothing seems like real life anymore. Does that sound crazy?”
“It doesn’t sound crazy. It’s going to be an adjustment, but you’ll be fine. You’re a hell of an undercover agent, and it’s only a matter of time before another case will come your way.”
“I’m not sure I can do another undercover gig. I’m still reeling over how this affected Savannah.”
“Lexie, that girl would be spending ten years in prison if you hadn’t helped her. She’s lucky that you fought to save her. You should never feel guilty about how things unfolded with her.”
Lexie put down her chop sticks, giving her full attention to Kate.
“If you think you can’t handle another undercover case, then by all means, walk away from the program. I personally think it would be a huge loss to the bureau if you choose to do so, but that’s a decision only you can make.”
“I’m sorry,” Lexie said. “I’m just tired. I haven’t slept well lately.”
Lexie looked down. She picked at a rough edge on her fingernail. “Kate, thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.”
Kate cleared her throat. “I was just doing my job.”
“You went way beyond your job. You saved my career.”
Kate wiped away a lone tear. “It was my pleasure.”
The lump in Lexie’s throat made it difficult for her to speak. “I want you to know that I will always treasure our friendship. Promise me that you’ll come to New Orleans for a visit.”
Kate grinned. “I’ve always wanted to visit New Orleans, and now I have a reason. Put it on your calendar and I’ll be there.”
“Laissez les bons temps rouler.”
“What does that mean?” Kate asked.
“Let the good times roll.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Alexis
May 2012 - Pawley’s Island, South Carolina,
one year later
The rental car bounced over the potholes in the oyster shell parking lot. Lexie parked the car near the beach access and took a deep breath. Her hands trembled as she removed her shoes then waded through the deep sand out to the point of beach where the ocean met the sound. In the distance, she could see a young woman sitting alone on a deserted stretch. The slight ocean breeze caressed Lexie’s skin as she made her way across the beach.
“May I sit down?” Lexie asked.
Without looking up, the young woman said, “How did you find me?”
“I’m an FBI agent. It’s my job,” Lexie joked.
Savannah looked up and smiled. “Have a seat.”
“How’ve you been?” Lexie asked as she plopped down beside her.
“As good as can be expected,” Savannah replied.
The two sat in silence for a few moments.
“You know, it’s only been two years since I graduated from high school,” Savannah said. “It seems like a lifetime.”
Savannah looked over at Lexie. “You look different. More FBIish.”
Lexie watched the waves breaking on the sand. “It’s beautiful here.”
“This is my favorite spot in the whole world,” Savannah responded. “This is where I come to think. I’ve spent a lot of time here this past year.”
A pang of guilt hit Lexie. She watched the tiny shorebirds frantically picking insects out of the wet sand.
The two sat in uncomfortable silence before Savannah continued.
“I thought when I returned home everything would go back to the way it was before, but that didn’t happen. I can’t explain it, but everything is different now. My parents, my friends, this place . . .”
Lexie nodded.
“You’re different, Savannah. What you went through changed you. That’s why everything seems different to you. When you left here, you were an innocent eighteen-year-old girl heading out to experience life for the first time. You experienced so much love, loss, and betrayal in a relatively short period of time. You came back a different person.”
“I guess you’re right. I want to feel normal again. Even after this much time, I still expect to turn around and see Nick.”
Lexie stared at the horizon. A small tang of guilt lingered. “Maybe this is the new normal. You aren’t the same person anymore. You’re older, more mature, and more experienced than when you left here.”
Lexie shifted so she could see Savannah better and continued, “Haley and Badger will be in prison for nine more years, and Nick will spend almost twenty years in prison. Those three are no longer a part of your world.”
“I still can’t believe that Nick set the fire. He looked me in the eye and told me that Badger set the fire. He even had Haley convinced.”
“Nick Harris is a narcissistic asshole,” Lexie said. “I’m sorry that he sucked you into his deranged world.”
The ember-red sun began melting into the ocean.
“What happened to Phillip and Jeannette?” Savannah asked. “Their cases were still pending when I left LA.”
“AUSA Griffin dropped the Animal Enterprise Terrorism charges and allowed them to plead guilty to aiding and abetting in exchange for their cooperation. Neither one received any prison time, but the government seized their house. Last I heard, they left LA in an old rickety RV heading to Las Vegas.”
“I can see them living in Las Vegas,” Savannah said, laughing.
Lexie took the opportunity to keep Savannah talking. “How are things between you and Nora?”
Savannah sighed. “Nora and I have patched things up, but things are still tense between Hunter and me.”
She picked up a handful of sand and let it pour through her fingers like a waterfall.
“I went to visit Nick and Haley at the Federal Correctional Facility in Victorville a few weeks ago,” she said. “My parents didn’t want me to go, but I felt like I had some kind of unfinished business. I needed closure with Nick.”
“What happened?”
Savannah started to cry but continued, “Haley refused to see me. I flew all the way to California, and she wouldn’t give me five minutes of her time.”
“What about Nick?” Lexie asked.
“Oh, he came out. He had plenty to say to me.”
“What? What did he say?”
Savannah choked on her words as she continued explaining. “He called me a backstabbing, traitorous bitch. Can you believe that? I gave that guy my heart, my soul, and my body, and he called me a traitorous bitch.”
“I’m sorry, Savannah. Did he talk to you at all?”
“He talked plenty, but nothing nice. He told me I was the reason he was in prison. I told him that I loved him, and he told me I didn’t know the meaning of love. He told me that he hated me, and one day I would get what was coming to me.”
“Did he threaten you?”
“It wasn’t like a physical threat. It was more like a karma thing. Anyway, he ended our last conversation by telling me to leave and that he never wanted to see or hear from me ever again. As I was leaving, he stood up and yelled, ‘Fuck off and die, bitch.’”
Lexie sat quietly for a moment. “I don’t know what to say.�
��
“There’s really nothing you can say. I did it to myself, but at least now I know and I can move on with my life. I got closure. It wasn’t the closure I was looking for, but it’s closure.”
“I’m sorry that Nick hurt you, Savannah.”
“I loved him and he used me. I was so stupid.”
“Nick Harris is a psychopath. There was no way for you to know he was using you.”
The women sat in silence breathing in the salt air.
“What happened to Agent Harper?” Savannah asked. “Is he still in LA?”
“He was promoted and—”
“No, wait,” Savannah interrupted. “I don’t know why I even asked. I don’t want to know about him or anyone else for that matter.”
The two sat in silence watching the sun be devoured by the ocean. After several minutes, Savannah broke the silence.
“Why did you come here, Lexie? I know it wasn’t to give me a case update.”
A tear trickled down Lexie’s cheek. She cleared her throat before answering.
“I needed to know that you were all right. I know you think that I used you to make my case, but the truth is I really care about you, Savannah. I needed to see for myself that you had moved on and that you were going to be okay.”
She listened to the lull of the ocean. A soothing, soft breeze rustled her hair.
“Do you know what that smell is?” Savannah asked, inhaling.
Lexie inhaled and shook her head.
“That smell is marsh puff mud,” Savannah said, smiling from ear to ear. “That’s the smell of my childhood. Some tourists don’t like the earthy smell, but to me it’s what happiness smells like. It represents carefree days of shrimping, fishing, and crabbing: a childhood of innocence and happiness.”
At that moment, Lexie saw Savannah’s true face, not the hardened face of a girl who had endured loss and betrayal, but the innocent face of a girl who was once ready to single-handedly take on the world. In this spot, surrounded by sand and water, the carefree girl returned to the shores of her youth.
Staring out over the ocean, Savannah sighed and continued, “I ran away to California to try to find myself. I realize now that it takes more character and courage to stay and face things that are difficult. Sometimes you have to lose something to truly appreciate it. I’ve done that; I will never stray from this area again. I’m a low-country girl who needs the smell of puff mud and the sound of surf hitting the sand. You’re right about one thing, Lexie. I’m not the same person I was when I left here two years ago, but I am a South Carolina girl, born and raised. I’m going to do my best to take full advantage of the second chance you’ve given me. I’ll strive to be a better person and give back to my community. Remember the day we were hiking and you asked me if I thought a person could ever go home again?”
“I remember,” Lexie said.
“The answer to that question is yes. Home is where your heart lives. When I left South Carolina two years ago, my heart stayed on the white sandy shores of Pawley’s Island. When I returned home, my heart was waiting for me.”
Lexie became overwhelmed with emotions. A tear rolled down her cheek.
“What’s the matter?” Savannah asked.
“Nothing. Everything is falling into place. You and I are both at crossroads in life, and it’s time we each write the next chapter of our lives. I came here to see you because I needed to know that you were okay. The past two years have changed us both, some for the better and some for the worse.”
Savannah reached over and grabbed Lexie’s hand. “I’m okay because of you, Lexie. Without your support and guidance, I’d be in prison. You saved me, and I will never be able to repay you for that.”
Lexie smiled. “You can repay me by finishing school and making a difference in the world. I expect progress reports, and I better get an invitation to your college graduation.”
As the two women sat on the isolated stretch of beach, Lexie’s thoughts drifted. She thought about the past and wondered what the future would bring. Like the tides of the boundless ocean, Lexie realized, life itself continues to ebb and flow.
Acknowledgments
Writing a novel may be a solitary experience, but seeing it to publication is not. I owe an enormous debt to the team at Wise Ink Creative Publishing for their excitement and enthusiasm. Huge thanks to Laura Zats for quelling my constant doubts and patiently working with me. Without you, this novel would still be hidden away on my computer. Thank you to my wonderful editors Ally Bishop, Andrew Wetzel, and Jordan Smith, who spent many hours helping me polish and shine Behind The Mask. Thanks to Jay Monroe for his expert handling of the cover and book design.
I owe a hearty thank you to my parents, David and Faye Ridenour, my sister, Darla Hill, and my mother-in-law, Ruth Endorf, as well as my extended family for providing me with constant encouragement and love. I am grateful every day to have such an amazing and loving family. You have all helped make my dream become a reality.
Great love to Nora Moloney, who is my BFF and the best cheerleader anyone could hope to have.
A special thank you to my team of beta readers: Bill Endorf, Terry Palmer, Nora Moloney, Jason Lup, Faye Ridenour, Scott Rhodes, and Erin Kuntzelman. Your recommendations helped more than you will ever know.
And finally to my amazing husband, Bill. Thank you for being such an intelligent, insightful first editor, for helping me with storylines, for all the brainstorming sessions, but mainly for your insistence that the book was good, and that I could do it. You are my finest critic, my most rabid fan, and my best friend. I would never have come so far without you by my side.
I lost a dear friend and companion during the writing of this book, my faithful writing dog, Kosmo. I will miss you, Kosmo.
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