by Ysabel Wilde
On Luke’s way back, he detoured over to a side table picking up the faded brown journal with the crimson bookmark. The bookmark still in the same spot as it had been that night I meant to give it away. He set his beer down in its place and started smacking the journal against his hand, checking the weight of it, flipping it from front to back a few times.
What the hell, man. Put that book down before I tackle you.
He started to flutter the pages between his fingers but hadn’t opened it yet.
Shit!
How would I explain a book of poetry to a horn ball that only wanted to stick his dick in every available hole? I sat watching and waiting.
Unimpressed with the worn book, he set it back down. You get to live another day, I thought.
“Now I know why you have the nickname ALF, you annoying little fuck!” I blindly swung a lazy fist into Luke’s gut. A pounding behind my eyes joined the raging pain.
“Watch the beer, if I spill it I’ll be committing abuse,” Luke whined. After taking a long pull he let out a sigh of contentment. “Ahhhhh. That’s some good shit right there,” he said holding out his bottle in appreciation.
I couldn’t keep my thoughts away from her.
“Do you have a death wish? You can’t date Faith, George would kick your ass,” I said making a weak attempt to shake my head. I felt like a bobble head from the spinning.
“What is she a nurse?” My naughty nurse.
“Do you not pay attention to the ladies when you go to the hospital?” Luke asked. “I’m starting to think we need to revoke your nickname. She’s an X-ray tech, dude. A very fine one I may add. I love to see her bend over when she’s reaching for one of those cassettes they use. I imagine myself standing behind her when she does it.” Luke had his eyes closed as he spoke, thrusting his hips. “I wish she’d take me into that room she likes to go hide in and turn my knobs. Mmmmm,” a dirty smile plastered across his face.
Through gritted teeth I said, “Hey, Alf, not all women are sex objects. Do you need to be talking about her like that? You’re really starting to piss me off.” My fists were clenched on my lap as I tried to hold back the anger that was growing. “And if she has half a brain she’ll know to stay away from you.”
If Luke wasn’t all worked up about her I was going to ask him more, but obviously the man had problems focusing on things other than what was in his pants.
I remembered she finished X-ray school before she left.
“What? What did I say?” Luke asked.
Thinking about her was giving me a woody. “Never mind. I’m gonna go take a shower. Save me some of that beer. I’ll need some hair of the dog when I get back.”
I had to get away from this idiot or I was going to go ape shit on him. Hopefully when I was done and felt better Luke will have found some cheerleader on TV to focus his perversions on or there would be a beating. I didn’t like being reminded that the woman I loved and had known very intimately was suddenly a stranger to me who other men were attempting to claim.
After a very cold shower and a few beers I was starting to feel human and more in control, but my temper was still a slow simmer.
Luke was sprawled out on the couch in the media room with a new beer in one hand and the other digging around in a chip bowl making himself at home.
“Why are we watching this instead of real football again?” I asked irritated. Puppies larger than life were on my flat screen rough housing on a fake football field. I was smashed against the end of the couch glaring.
“Dude, this is a rerun from last year. If I remember right there is a super hot ref. I can’t wait till this year’s is on.”
Luke must have figured out how close he was to eating his beer bottle. He only looked at me from the corner of his eye and asked, “How did you end up drinking all of those by yourself again? Especially if you left with Faith.”
“I didn’t leave with her. I left after her. I wanted to make sure she got home all right. George obviously didn’t care that his girlfriend was leaving alone at night in the city.”
I was purposely dodging Luke’s question about the beer. I avoid talking about my past, especially when part of the reason I had done those things had reappeared giving me a second chance.
After jacking off in the shower the night before I was still tense. All the cold water took care of was the pain in my dick, not my heart. I decided I needed another drink to forget that discomfort. Then that one turned into another and another until I ended up with the lovely collection that Luke kept pestering me about.
“Why would George? Brad sure didn’t care when they were together,” Luke said.
I ran a frustrated hand through my damp hair, struggling to not pull it out. Did none of these guys respect her at all?
“Are you going to keep talking about some chick you’ll never get to bang or are we going to watch this game?” I reached over stealing back my remote. If I didn’t try to change the subject I would have been feeding Luke a fist full of chips, knuckles first.
“Whatever. I don’t know why you care so much,” Luke said shoveling a handful of chips into his mouth, not caring that half of them ended up on my floor, finishing with a loud smack of beer.
Grace and I were sitting on her plum velour couch watching puppies playing football on her thirty-two inch tube TV after just watching the big parade. This was our yearly tradition that usually I looked forward to, but not this year.
I should have been enjoying myself. The turkey was browning nicely and all the sides were done without having to redo any because we used sugar instead of salt on accident. We pulled everything off without a hitch this time, unlike so many others. It only took us seven years but we were finally mastering the holiday food preparations. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get the feel of John off me from the night before. His lips were burned into every spot he touched, which was, for the most part, my entire body.
A gargantuan pitcher of mango margaritas sat in front of us already half empty. Guess it was a good thing we did the sides before the drinks. I better write this step down for next year since that was where we usually screwed up, drinking while cooking.
Grace sat next to me, grinning proudly at our accomplishments while her glass tipped further and further with each refill she took. I was waiting for the orange slush to come spilling out the side at any minute.
“To us, sister! The men that catch us will love this holiday as much as we do!” She held out her glass for me to clink, coming to near disaster when her hand slipped down the stem. After sucking the frozen drink off the top of her hand that escaped she pushed it out further.
I reciprocated with only a quarter the enthusiasm as she had. How could I be as merry as her, there was no way? Not this year. He was somewhere in this city near me but not with me. He never would be if I could help it. It was for his own good. I would never love this holiday. Enjoy it because I got to spend it with Grace, yes, but that was about it. I always spent this day with John and his family, so it was bittersweet. Grace had no idea that the stuffing I made every year was the recipe his mom gave me, or the sweet potatoes either for that matter. He wasn’t here and it just sucked, especially with the knowledge he was so close.
“So tell me, sis, did you make out with Mr. Hottie? If you did, you gotta tell me. Did he come back after I left? I’m dying to find out.” Grace leaned into me, rubbing shoulders.
The word sis became more frequent when she started to get tipsy. Early on in our new-found friendship it bothered me, reminding me of my own sisters that I hadn’t seen in forever, wishing she’d shut up. I quickly got over it when she explained it was to help her forget the words she had heard her mother being called while her father was drunk. It grounded her with the feeling of family she wished she’d had instead of what she got. I couldn’t get mad at her for it. She was a lovey, mushy drunk, the complete opposite of her father, so she tells me, and most definitely different from my mother.
“Grace, I don’t want to t
alk about it. How about Barney? Did he pistol whip you last night, if you know what I mean?” I said wagging my eyebrows.
Taking a long gulp from her cactus glass, finishing it off, Grace clipped, “I don’t want to talk about it,” her smile fading for the first time since the pitcher was made. She poured herself more and went right back to chugging. Glad I wouldn’t be getting that brain freeze.
I didn’t want to talk to her about John, making us even. This was going to either be a long, torturous day or a short, quiet one, depending on how much I could get Grace to drink before she passed out.
“Do you want me to make more margaritas?” I asked getting up, already aware of her response.
After a couple of days off, I was finally back at work. I had been running calls nonstop since the minute I set foot in the firehouse. George was my partner for the day and wasn’t a slacker.
The most recent call was an older man who had a heart attack. While filling out paper work at the hospital I realized I was missing some of the man’s vitals for the report. A short, slim, grey-haired nurse was the one in charge of the patient, so I went up to her for the information I was missing.
“Excuse me.” My face instantly flushed as I looked down at her ID badge. “June, do you have a copy of the vitals we took while in transit?” Why didn’t I know her name? Shit, Luke was right. Was I that unobservant, or just self-absorbed?
“Sure, John, I’ll be one minute.” June’s eyes twinkled up at me as if I was her grandson. Still recovering from my embarrassment, I tried to hide the shock that she actually knew who I was.
While heading back to my chair to wait for June, a winding noise that sounded like a kid’s electric jeep but ten times louder approached. I’d seen portable X-ray machines before, that was nothing new. What was new is I paid attention to who was operating the massive metal box. As I focused my attention on the machine that was coming down the hall, Dr. Price came over and took a chart and started looking it over.
Without lifting his gaze he said, “I wonder if it’s going to be that little druggie slut. If I can give you any advice, stay away from her. She’s nothing but trouble.”
I responded with a blank expression, not wanting to get involved in the hospital rumor mill. How did he get away with talking about people like that? Then the driver came into view. It was the Amazon Barbie from the bar. What was her name, again? Greta, Gretel? Grace? Grace. That was it.
It had been a week since I’d met her at the bar before I chased after Faith. It had been the longest week of my life. I didn’t want to scare Faith off. I figured I was well on my way after showing up at her place. Instead, I chose to use her friend as my in, but every shift I worked they never needed X-rays while I was there, making me miss my opportunity to get to her.
I watched Grace slide behind the curtain of my patient’s room with a cassette when a gentle hand rested on my shoulder.
Oh, God, was it her? If I turn around and see her I’ll come. Then I’ll look like I peed my pants, how humiliating. I was already starting to twitch.
In slow motion I spun the chair around, preparing myself to look into those eyes that used to see through me. I jumped and my dick shrank, startled to see June with the information I asked for.
In back of her was George with a scowl plastered on his face. His eyes bore a hole directly past June’s shoulder and through the curtain Grace had gone behind.
Was George still mad at her for what happened at the bar? He had his chance to walk Faith home and he hadn’t done it. Curiosity was eating away at me about their situation, but I didn’t think it was a very good idea to say, “Hey, George do you play hide the woody in Faith’s pants?” while we were hovering over a man giving him life-saving compressions. The questions would have to wait until we were back at the firehouse.
“What’s up, George?”
“Oh, uh…” George fumbled for words, pulling his eyes off of the curtain as Grace came back out to take her picture.
Grace shouted, “X-ray,” and George’s back stiffened into his military stance. When Grace called out, “Clear,” and disappeared back behind the curtain to get her cassette, his eyes closed for a fleeting moment as his nostrils flared. When they opened they were black.
George said roughly, “You almost done? We may make dinner if you stop flirting with the nurses.” He stormed out to the ambulance before I could answer. Really? I was flirting with June? And, no, I wasn’t almost done. I needed to catch up to Barbie, no Greta, wait, Grace. Yeah, that was it.
I was about to approach Grace when Dr. Price left the nurses station and headed toward her first as she put the cassette into a pocket on the back of the machine. I’ll wait for them to finish before I approach her. She must have been engrossed in thought because when she stood back up she jerked away from the doctor. He said something to her and she began stabbing a finger at him. What ever he said pissed her off, flushing her tan cheeks crimson. Once she yanked her finger away from his face Dr. Price said something else, making Grace turn pale. She started backing the portable machine in the direction of the hallway without another word to him.
Grace was almost to the double doors that led out of the ER before I decided to run after her.
“Grace, wait up.” It wasn’t hard for me to catch up to her since the behemoth she was pushing moved at a snail’s pace.
“Let me get the door for you.” I managed a smile through the nerves that were working their way out. I wiped my hands on my pants hoping I didn’t leave sweat stains. I was so close.
Grace gave me a huge smile that made her pale skin regain its glow, making me relax a little. “Hey, John, thanks. How’s it going?”
“All right. I brought in the guy you just took an X-ray of. I just wanted to say hi since I kind of ran out the last time I saw you.” That was believable, right? I couldn’t stop drying my hands on my navy cargo pants. Maybe I should look into getting that shot that makes you not sweat?
Grace started to back the machine out of the open door, looking down to make sure she didn’t run over my toes, which I was thankful for. “Oh, that’s no big deal.Do you want to go see Faith?” Her eyes were glued on me, waiting for an answer.
My heart practically punched its way out of my chest I was so excited. This turned out to be easier than I thought. I looked out into the ambulance bay and didn’t see any sign of George. “Sure, I’d love to.”
“Faith tries not to come over here if she can help it. She gets pretty uncomfortable. She makes me come over instead.”
Unconsciously my eyebrows furrowed, “Why?” The Faith I loved never let herself be intimidated.
The portable X-ray machine was pointed in the direction of her department. When she looked back through the door I was still holding, she leaned her head in the direction of three people at a counter, June, Dr. Price and a male nurse who I didn’t know by name.
“Brad,” she said, as if that explained it all. I must have looked confused because she said, “Oh, you don’t know? I figured since you saw her that night after the bar she may have told you.”
Uncomfortable for the first time, she shifted her eyes away.
All I could do was shake my head. I remembered Luke had mentioned that Brad hadn’t cared about her either. My spine suddenly stiffened, wanting to pulverize whoever treated Faith like trash. What was I supposed to know about this guy?
“Which one is Brad?” I felt stupid for asking. I knew June but I didn’t know the first names of the other two. One was Dr. Price, he was very tall, fair skinned with black hair, while the other man came up to his chin with mousey brown hair, but I didn’t know his name. I made a mental note to learn everyone’s name if it killed me.
“I guess you know him as Dr. Price.” Grace stopped in the middle of what she was saying and watched the three talking. Dr. Price glanced up from a chart and gave a smirk that seemed more devious than kind.
My fists balled up at my sides, wanting to knock him out. He was lucky I wasn’t standing next to him
or I’d have my hands around his throat.
As we watched the three interact, the male nurse went one way while Dr. Price and June went toward the pyxis machine that dispensed drugs. They shot us disgusted glances before punching in codes to open the contraption.
Grace whipped her head back in my direction like she’d been stung. “He’s her ex,” she said, quickly clicking the switch to put the beast back in motion.
“Grace, how many people work with you at night?” Please tell me more than you two. Please, please, please.
“Just Faith and me. We call ourselves the crime fightin’ bitches of Chi town, but she hasn’t been much of one lately. Not since...well, never mind.” She snuck another look at the two still standing next to the drug dispenser deep in conversation.
I wanted to go and take care of Dr. Price right then and there but I knew I couldn’t. “So, was it a really bad break up?” I couldn’t figure out why he would talk about Faith that way. A druggie? Not Faith. I didn’t care how long it had been since I’d seen her, I knew she wouldn’t do drugs. Her parents would have killed her. What had happened? Now I knew who the prick was, and his title didn’t matter to me one bit.
“You should probably let Faith tell you. She’s super sensitive about it. Even though it’s total bullshit and nobody believes it.”
Grace wasn’t spilling the beans. When I didn’t say anything, she pushed down on the handle to get the machine moving and took off. “Let’s get out of here,” Grace shuddered.
I played off that I hadn’t seen her reaction. Whatever happened had to have been bad. What did that cocksucker do to Faith?
My temper was getting the better of me again. I had to ask Grace the one thing that had bothered me since the night in the bar because I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” I watched her intently to see if she was going to try to hide the fact that she knew my history with Faith.