Me: :)
****
I wasn’t making any smiley faces the next afternoon at the rink. My triple Salchow had abandoned me for the day, and ice caked my butt after every run-through Mark and I did. Making my struggles harder to swallow was watching Stephanie and Josh nail the first full run-through of their long program. Their programs were finally complete, and every day I could see their jumps getting stronger. Sergei and Em’s strategy of going back to basics with the technique was slowly paying off.
When I watched Stephanie and Josh, conflicting emotions battled within me. My eyes were automatically drawn to Josh, inspiring fluttery feelings, but when I looked at Stephanie, competitive rage burned in my chest. I’d never wanted to beat anyone more in my entire skating life.
“Free-For-All Friday!” Em threw her hands in the air.
I let out a long breath and felt some of the tension drain from my shoulders. Skating for fun would be the perfect way to forget my rough day. Everyone cleared the ice, and Em stationed herself next to the stereo.
“Court and Josh,” she called.
I perked up even more. In the six weeks since Stephanie and Josh had been training with us, Josh and I hadn’t yet shared the ice for Free-For-All Friday. He let me go ahead of him through the ice door, and we took our places at opposite ends of the rink.
Em pressed a button, and “Love Is Blindness” by U2 began playing. Really? There were thousands of songs Em could’ve chosen, and she had to pick a sexy one? How was I supposed to concentrate on doing my own thing with Josh skating to this around me?
I took a few long strokes to match the music, gliding toward center ice, and Josh did the same, watching me the whole way. After we crossed paths and spun around, his eyes remained on me, and I couldn’t look away. I skated faster and carved deeper edges as the electric energy from him made me feel more in touch with myself and the ice.
The guitar riff in the song neared, and I built up additional speed. Josh and I flew toward each other, and I leapt into the air, extending both my legs on the split falling leaf. My breath caught in my throat as Josh did the exact same move at the same moment. I looked over at him, and he wore the expression I felt on my face — one that said, Did that really just happen?
Em cut the music a few seconds later, and Josh and I simultaneously arrived at the ice door, both of us breathing hard.
“Great minds,” he said with a smile.
I laughed and stepped carefully onto the mat. “That was really freaky.”
“Yeah, freaky,” Mark said from beside the boards. He didn’t sound as amused as Josh and I were.
I passed Stephanie on my way to the bleachers, and she looked at me like I was gum stuck under her designer shoe. When Josh sat beside me, she started to come join us, but Em called her to the ice with Mark.
“I wish Free-For-All Friday was also Monday through Thursday,” Josh said.
“I know, it’s so cathartic.” I took a sip of water. “There’s something so freeing about just floating with the music and not having to follow any rules.”
“Em and Sergei must be skating today.” He gestured to them stretching by the boards.
“Ooh, get ready for a show. They are awesome.”
“It has to be a pretty amazing feeling for them, skating together.”
Mrs. Cassar’s comment about pairs being romantic popped into my head. Em and Sergei were the definition of romance on the ice, and that’s why I loved watching them so much. When I’d seen the movie The Cutting Edge as a ten-year-old, I’d become enamored with pairs and had dreamt of skating with my one true love. I learned later that happened much more often in movies than in real life.
“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to skate with someone you’re dating,” I said. “If there would be just this crazy amount of energy.”
Josh turned to me and held my gaze. “I bet it would feel incredible.”
I tingled down to my bones, and I thought about the sparks I’d felt when we’d just shared the ice as two separate skaters. I couldn’t imagine how mind-blowing actually skating with him would be. The feels would be off the charts.
Stephanie and Mark sat below us to put on their skate guards, and I quickly turned back to the ice. I needed a water refill, so I went to the fountain near the entrance and stayed there to watch the next couple of pairs. The less I had to listen to Stephanie’s mouth, the better.
When Em and Sergei shed their guards I returned to my seat so I’d have a prime view of their performance. They only participated in Free-For-All Friday every few months because they didn’t have a lot of time to create programs and to practice, but what they put together was always special.
They stood at center ice with their arms around each other like they were getting ready to slow dance, and Kenny whistled loudly. A few more of us contributed some catcalls. Liza started the music, and I recognized it as “Remember When It Rained” by Josh Groban.
Sergei dipped Em backward to begin, and I sat totally mesmerized at each fluid movement they made. They were so connected, looking at each other every step of the way. And the way they looked at each other… the love between them gave me chills.
“This is a bit much,” Stephanie said, taking me away from my happy place.
“What’s wrong with it?” Mark asked.
“I don’t need to see them groping each other.”
I rolled my eyes. “They’re not groping each other. It’s a classy, romantic program.”
She pulled the ponytail holder from her hair and flipped her long brown locks over one shoulder. “I just don’t see why they need to skate at all.”
“Because they love doing it, and we can all learn something from watching them.”
“I’m not sure what I could learn because I’m certainly not going to skate like that with Josh.” She wrinkled her nose.
“You mean you don’t wanna get your sexy on with your brother?” Mark asked.
Josh appeared on the verge of gagging, and Stephanie gave Mark the same disgusted look she’d aimed at me earlier. She mercifully left us so I could enjoy the final moments of Em and Sergei’s skate in peace.
We all treated them to a standing ovation, and Sergei kissed Em’s forehead before they bowed to us with beaming smiles. We kept applauding until after they’d exited the ice.
“That was really beautiful,” Josh said.
“Right?” I said.
“You don’t think it’s a waste of time like your sister?” Mark asked.
Josh sat and leaned over to untie his boots. “Emily’s an Olympic gold medalist, and Sergei probably would’ve been one, too, if he’d had the chance. Just watching them skate in circles would be educational.”
Mark folded his arms. “It must’ve been your idea to come train here.”
“No, it was actually Steph’s.”
That didn’t surprise me. She knew the best chance to top us would be to work with Em and Sergei, even with her snarking about them.
“Do you go along with everything she wants?” Mark asked.
Josh stopped and stared at him. His clear blue eyes didn’t blink. “We made a mutual decision after a long discussion.”
Mark continued the stare-down for a few more moments and then walked away. I climbed down the bleachers and caught up to him as quickly as I could while clomping in my skates.
“What’s with the attitude?” I asked.
“What’s with you jumping to his defense?”
“I’m not. It’s just… Stephanie already hates us enough. You don’t need to piss off Josh and give them even more reason to beat us.”
Mark slowed and glanced back at Josh. “Something about him bugs me. He doesn’t talk a lot, but he’s probably thinking to himself how he’s better than all of us.”
“He’s not like that. You don’t know him—” I cut myself off before I spilled how well-acquainted Josh and I had become. “I mean, I’ve talked to him here and he’s never been snotty like Stephanie.”
> He peered down at me, and a trace of suspicion crossed his face. “Well, I don’t care if he’s the nicest guy on Earth. I don’t wanna be his friend. Once we make the Olympic team, then I’ll be glad to have a beer with him.”
He doesn’t drink, I almost said out loud.
I didn’t want to be Josh’s friend either. I wanted a helluva lot more. And Mark would kick my ass if he had any idea I felt that way.
Chapter Nine
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a full flight today. We ask that you stow your bags and step out of the aisle as quickly as possible so we can get on our way to Denver. Thank you.”
I shoved my backpack under the seat in front of me and slipped my laptop into the seat pocket. The four-hour flight would hopefully be enough time for me to complete the essay for my Boston College application. We only had a forty-minute connecting flight from Denver to Colorado Springs for camp at the Olympic Training Center, and that wouldn’t be long enough to even power up my computer.
I was buckling my seat belt when Josh stopped at my row of two seats and looked at the empty aisle one. “22B. That’s me.”
Say what the what? The federation’s travel coordinator had made our arrangements, and when Mark had sat a few rows behind me, I’d assumed Team Cape Cod would be scattered throughout the plane. Somehow I’d won the seat lottery!
“You don’t know how relieved I am that you’re not someone holding a screaming baby,” I said.
He sat and pressed his palm to his chest. “I’m hurt that’s the only reason you’re happy to see me.”
I laughed, probably too nervously. “I didn’t mean for it to sound that way.”
“That’s a relief because if the president of my fan club isn’t excited about sitting next to me, then I’m doing something wrong.”
“Don’t worry. You’re keeping this fan very happy. I’m going to miss my Thursday ‘Over the Rainbow’ this week.”
“Think there’s a piano at the Olympic Training Center?”
I pretended to give it some thought. “Probably not.”
“Maybe I can just hum it for you tomorrow night.”
I broke into a huge smile. “That would be utterly amazing.”
Em and Sergei passed us on their way down the aisle, and Em gave us a long and interested look. I gave her a little wave in return. Nothing to see here… keep moving.
Josh stored his bag under the seat and tapped my laptop. “Did you bring a movie to watch?”
“No, I need to work on my college essay.”
“Wow, you’re ahead of the game.”
“I’m applying for early acceptance, so applications are due November first. I know it’s only the end of July, but I want to get it all done before the season starts.”
“What’s your essay about?”
“How living with the twins has enhanced my interest in being a child psychologist.”
Josh nodded. “That’s really cool. It sounds interesting… and very early acceptance-worthy.”
I spun my bracelet around my wrist. “I hope so. My grades were good, but my SAT score wasn’t fabulous.”
“Are you applying to any other schools?”
I shook my head. “BC is the only place I’ve ever wanted to go. I grew up going to football games and hockey games there with my dad. I know the campus from front to back.”
A mom with three kids loaded down with bags squeezed through the aisle, and Josh leaned slightly toward me to avoid being hit.
“I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.” He buckled his seat belt and cleared his throat. “If you um… if you decide you do want to look at other schools, UCLA has a great psych program, and I guarantee the weather would be better. And I could help you learn the campus front to back.”
He smiled, and my voice got lost somewhere in my throat. Was he seriously suggesting I move to California? Even if I didn’t have my heart set on BC, UCLA’s non-resident tuition plus living in California would probably cost a bazillion dollars. But I beamed on the inside that he wanted me there.
“That would be a blast, but I don’t think my college fund would agree, unfortunately.”
The flight attendant announced the door was closing, so I checked my phone to make sure I’d turned it off. I sat back and put my arm on the seat divider, not realizing Josh had done the same. The soft hair on his forearm tickled my skin, setting off goose bumps from my wrist to my shoulder.
I quickly pulled away. “Sorry.”
“You can have it,” he offered.
“No, I’m good.”
Liar. There were way too many intensely incredible things overwhelming my senses right now, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to focus on writing my essay. Josh’s sweet cologne lightly teased my nose, and his leg was less than an inch away from touching mine. Even his soft voice was giving me heart palpitations because it was so close to my ear.
I took my iPod from my bag and set it on my lap. I was going to have to immerse myself in music while writing to block out all the distractions.
“Wanna switch?” Josh asked as he pulled his own iPod from the pocket of his cargo shorts. “Could be fun to discover new music.”
I hesitated but then handed mine over. “There may be some um… some Disney songs on there.”
He grinned. “I won’t mock your Disney songs if you don’t mock my gangsta rap.”
“Dude, I love me some gangsta rap. You’ll find a bunch of it on my workout playlist.”
The video screens dropped from the ceiling for the safety announcement, and Josh and I stopped talking to listen. As the plane approached the runway, I lifted the window shade and watched the raindrops stream across the glass. It would be nice to have a change of scenery for a few days and to see my skater friends. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Kyle, though. The sting of what he’d done was a dull memory now, but I hoped being around him wouldn’t bring up the hurt again. I still couldn’t stop kicking myself for almost sleeping with him. Whenever I got into another relationship, I was going to make damn sure the guy was “the one” before I’d take that step.
The plane zoomed up into the air, and as soon as the chime rang, I set up my laptop on the tray table. Josh stretched one long leg into the aisle and plugged his ear buds into my iPod.
“If you want to switch back just poke me,” he said.
I bit my lip as my mind went to all the places I’d like to poke him.
Get to work! This essay needs to rock.
I took a deep breath and popped in my ear buds. The words started to flow from my fingers as I jammed along to the music. Josh’s playlists included a lot of alternative bands I hadn’t heard before, and I noted the songs I liked in a separate document so I could download them later.
I felt Josh’s shoulders shake, and I looked over to find him laughing to himself. I bumped his arm, and he showed my iPod currently playing The Muppets’ “The Rainbow Connection.” He pulled out one ear bud while I did the same.
“Do you have a thing for all rainbow songs?” he asked.
I laughed. “Hey, rainbows are awesome.”
“What about puppies and unicorns? How do you feel about them?”
“I’m a big fan of them, too.”
“And gangsta rap.”
“What can I say… I’m a complex and unpredictable girl.”
His smile deepened and shone in his eyes. He opened his mouth, and I thought he was going to say something, but he slipped the bud back into his ear.
Over the next few hours I managed to crank out a strong first draft and even had time left to compare notes with Josh on which songs we enjoyed discovering. When we boarded our connecting flight, I was disappointed he and I weren’t seated together, but we were barely in the air before we landed anyway.
Our large group filled the shuttle from the airport to the Olympic Training Center, and after we checked in with the federation staff, we headed to the dorms to find our rooms.
Liza stopped when she saw her name on one of the doors.
“I’m rooming with Marley!”
Marley and her ice dance partner Zach had trained on the Cape for years before they’d moved to Seattle, so I was glad Liza had been paired with someone familiar for her first camp. I continued down the hall but came to a halt at the sight of my name.
Next to Stephanie’s.
“Oh, fun,” she said over my shoulder.
I marched back down the hall to Em and Sergei’s room and swept through the open door. “Did you put me and Stephanie together?”
“You might find some common ground if you spend a little time together,” Em said.
“There’s nothing we could possibly have in common besides skating. She’s evil, and I don’t trust her around my stuff. She’s liable to tamper with my skates or my costumes…”
“She’s not going to do that. Maybe if you reach out to her, she’ll surprise you.”
I folded my arms. “Yeah, I’m sure she’s secretly dying to be my BFF.”
I went back to my room, where Stephanie was unpacking her Louis Vuitton luggage. I hauled my rolling bag onto the empty twin bed and hung my garment bag in the closet.
“Don’t even think about touching my stuff,” I said.
She stepped back from her suitcase and put her hands on her hips. “Why would I touch your stuff? All you have is cheap jewelry and knock-off clothes.”
Heat blazed from my face up to my scalp. Stephanie knew my mom had made almost all my jewelry because I’d peddled Mom’s creations at the rink. It was one thing for her to insult me, but insulting my mom’s hard work went beyond cruel.
“I’m proud to wear this jewelry. My mom puts her heart into every piece.” I tried to keep my voice steady. “They mean a lot more than anything you buy with your daddy’s credit card.”
Her face darkened, and she tossed a pair of sneakers onto the concrete floor. “Like you wouldn’t love to have that credit card. If anyone needs to worry about protecting their things, it’s me.”
Crossing the Ice Page 9