“Beach house in Malibu? Oh, that sounds positively awful.” I gave him my own teasing grin.
“You’ve never sat in L.A. traffic with Steph and my mom arguing.”
“Okay, maybe that doesn’t sound like the best vacation.”
He folded his arms on the ledge of the bar. “The house itself is great, though. The piano faces the glass doors to the deck, so I can see the ocean while I play.”
“That must be amazing.”
“It is. I’d love to show it—” He stopped himself but then finished quietly, “To you.”
His sad eyes held me captive, crushing my soul. He took a long drink of water, and I made up an excuse to go to the kitchen. I had to get out of there before I went back on everything I’d said at the beach. After the rush of skating with Josh that afternoon, I was feeling especially vulnerable, and listening to him express his desire to take me to Malibu wasn’t exactly strengthening my resolve.
I dawdled in the kitchen as long as I could and kept myself busy on the opposite end of the bar from Josh until he finished eating. He stood and pushed up the sleeves of his gray striped sweater, and I went to clear his dishes.
“I’ll give you a hint about the new song,” he said. “It’ll be the last one.”
Damn, so he was going to make me wait all night. Well, he’d earned the right to toy with me after I’d shot him down so quickly.
“I’ll be anxiously listening,” I said.
I was curious if he was still going to play “Over the Rainbow” for me. It would be the friendly thing to do, but again I couldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
I didn’t have to think about it long because it was the first song he played. Then I turned to wondering if he was sending me some kind of message by leading off the night with my favorite.
The rest of the night dragged by, not helped by a tipsy couple who spent their entire time at the bar alternating between arguing and showering each other with PDA. When the hands on my watch neared ten o’clock, I drifted toward the end of the bar closest to the piano. Josh took a sip of water and flexed his fingers, and I watched him work his magic over the keys.
I didn’t recognize the melody at first, but then it came to me — “La Vie en Rose.” For my Paris trip. I smiled, and Josh looked over at me and tipped his head. I did a little tap dance and swayed back and forth to the whimsical song as I cleaned up the bar and got ready for close.
I should’ve known Josh wouldn’t play something angsty about our situation. He wasn’t that kind of guy.
He was the perfect guy.
My throat tightened, and I rushed around the bar, trying to focus on work. When Josh finished playing and emptied his tip glass, I escaped to the kitchen again to avoid him. I had to get my purse anyway. My tie felt like it was choking me, so I yanked it off and shoved it in my big sack purse.
“You okay?” Meredith asked.
“Yeah, it’s just been a long night.”
“I know we haven’t been able to hang out much lately, but call me anytime if you need to talk.”
I could use a friend to talk to. Liza was the only one who knew what had gone down with Josh and me, and she’d gone back to New York. Plus, she was too young to really understand.
“Thanks. There has been some stuff going on. Maybe we can hang out this weekend and I can tell you about it.”
A clap of thunder boomed, and lightning flashed through the open back door. Meredith grabbed her purse and gave me a quick hug.
“It’s about to pour,” she said. “Let’s definitely make a plan tomorrow night.”
“Sounds good.”
I took another minute to collect myself before I went back to the dining room. Josh and I always walked out the front together, and I needed to thank him, too.
“I loved the song,” I said as I met him at the hostess’s stand. “It was perfect.”
“I thought it would be a good sendoff.”
He opened the door, and lightning flashed again. A few heavy drops dotted my white shirt.
“I have something else for you, too… for your trip,” he said. “It’s in my car.”
He had a present for me? Thunder rumbled louder, and I looked up at the dark clouds racing across the moon. “We should probably hurry.”
“It’ll just take a minute.” He unlocked his car. “Come inside so you don’t get wet.”
I didn’t think it would be good for me emotionally to be in a small enclosed space with him for even just a minute, but I was so curious about the gift he had for me.
I slid into the car and set my purse on the floor mat, and Josh came around and shut his door. He reached behind his seat and presented me with a small green gift bag.
“It’s just a little something to keep you entertained,” he said.
I stuck my hand into the bag and pulled out a CD. Since we were on the dark end of the lot, I had to squint to read the cover. There was a photo of Mickey Mouse wearing sunglasses, and the title read Mickey Unrapped. I flipped it over and saw some of the song titles, and I burst into laughter.
“Oh my God, are these Disney rap songs?” I asked.
Josh grinned. “They are indeed.”
“‘Ice Ice Mickey,’ ‘Ducks in the ‘Hood.’” I held my stomach as I laughed harder. “Where did you find this?”
“It’s mind-boggling what you can find on the internet.”
“This is the most fabulous thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I figured it was the perfect mix for you since you’re a fan of both Disney songs and gangsta rap. You can download it onto your iPod for the long flight.”
My laughter faded as a deeper swell of emotion took over me. Josh had remembered what I liked and he’d taken the time to look for the CD for me. He could’ve said “Screw it” and not given it to me after I’d told him we could only be friends. But he hadn’t.
“Thank you so much for this.” I slipped the CD and the bag into my purse. “You were so sweet to think of me.”
I sat back and waited for him to say something, but he stared quietly at the dashboard. The rain fell harder on the windshield, drowning out the silence.
He slowly turned and looked at me. “I think about you all the time.”
Another flood of emotion hit me, this time like a tidal wave. Lightning illuminated the car, showing me the wanting in Josh’s eyes, and everything I felt for him rushed to the surface. I couldn’t fight the resistance anymore.
I leaned across the console and pressed my mouth to Josh’s. He responded immediately and curled his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer. His lips were hot and sweet, and they erased all the ache, all the longing. God, I wanted the kiss to last forever.
His other hand touched my thigh, and my pulse raced even faster. I threaded my fingers through his hair and leaned into him, but he still wasn’t close enough. I needed to feel all of him.
I climbed over the stick shift and straddled his lap, and he groaned against my lips. Our kisses were deep and hungry, drawing all the breath from my body, but I gladly gave it to him. I would give everything to him.
His mouth trailed across my jaw with a feathery touch, and the beads of my earring jangled as he softly kissed my earlobe. I felt goose bumps in places I didn’t know possible. He ran his finger along my collar and deftly opened the top button of my shirt, giving his lips access to my neck. I tilted my head back, and he sucked gently on my tender skin, turning me inside out with desire. I pushed up his sweater and slipped my hands underneath, feeling my way over his hard muscles.
Thunder vibrated the car, and wind and rain thrashed against the windows, hiding us from the world. Josh kissed my lips, and I brought my hands up to his face. The faint stubble on his cheeks prickled my palms.
He sank his fingers into my hair, loosening my ponytail, and then he slowly pulled his head back so we were looking into each other’s eyes. Even in the darkness his spoke so much to me.
“Please don’t walk away from me again,” he said.
M
y heart overflowed from the emotion in his voice. How could I turn away from him? From the obviously strong feelings he had for me?
“I won’t.” I breathed against his lips. “I can’t.”
We melted into another kiss and were just heating up again when Josh’s phone rang in the console. His mouth reluctantly left mine.
“Damn,” he whispered.
He fumbled for the phone and glanced at the screen before answering, “Hey.”
“Where are you?” I heard Stephanie’s voice. “You’re usually home by now.”
He took a long swallow. “I was um… I was waiting to see if the rain would let up.”
“I don’t think it’s letting up anytime soon.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll probably leave in a bit.”
When he ended the call, I said, “I might be hearing from Em soon, too. She knows I never go out with Meredith on weeknights.”
“We still have a few minutes,” he said, cupping my face.
Our lips met, and I curled my arms around him. Not until we were completely out of breath did we stop. I rested my head on Josh’s shoulder, and he caressed my back with long, slow strokes.
“How are we going to do this?” I asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
I lifted my head. “I don’t think I can tell Mark. He just… he wouldn’t understand.”
“I know Steph wouldn’t understand either.”
“Then I think we have to keep this quiet.”
He brushed a loose curl behind my ear. “At least for now.”
My phone rang, and I reached for my purse. After I gave Em the same excuse Josh had given Stephanie, I turned back to him. Having to hide our relationship from our partners was one of the reasons I’d run from Josh in the first place. But looking into his eyes, I knew I had to do whatever I could to hold onto this. Because this feeling… this special, wonderful, exhilarating feeling I had when I was with him… it was too good to let go.
Chapter Fourteen
“Coco, you so pretty!” Quinn gaped at me.
I took the last two steps carefully in my red peep-toe heels and squatted as low as I could in my black leather pants. “And you’re the most beautiful princess in all the land.”
She giggled and waved her glittery wand. She’d had on her Halloween costume since noon. The sun was just about to set, so she didn’t have to wait much longer to go trick-or-treating.
“Oh my gosh, Court, you look amazing,” Em said as she came down the stairs. “You’re the perfect Sandy.”
And I had the perfect Danny waiting for me to complete our Grease theme, but I couldn’t tell Em that tidbit. Keeping my relationship with Josh quiet had been harder than I’d expected, mostly because I was so deliriously happy to be with him that I wanted to tell everyone I knew. Meredith was the only person with whom I’d shared the news.
Quinn skipped down the hall toward Alex the pirate, and I stood and straightened my sleeves. My black off-the-shoulder shirt was just as tight as my pants. It had taken me fifteen minutes to squeeze myself into the outfit.
“I love having Halloween on a weekend so I can actually go out and enjoy it,” I said.
“You deserve a fun night out. You skated well in Paris, and you’ve been working so hard since you got back.” Em picked up one of Alex’s trucks from the floor. “You’re in for an experience in P-town. Sergei and I still talk about the costumes we saw when we went years ago.”
P-town, or Provincetown as it was officially known, had a large gay community and the most elaborate Halloween festivities on the Cape. Meredith and I had decided it would be the most fun place to spend the holiday, and the fact it was located on the far end of the island made it the perfect place for Josh and me to go out.
“Meredith’s never been either, so we’re both preparing ourselves for the craziness.” I opened my small red purse and fished out my keys.
“Is it just you two going?”
“Um… Meredith’s new boyfriend is coming.” I conveniently left out the part about my date.
“You don’t mind being a third wheel?”
Em watched me closely, and I felt like she might be suspicious. But how could she know? If Quinn had blabbed, she would’ve said something. I was a terrible liar, so my face was probably red.
“No, it’s cool.” I fiddled with my keys. “I’d better get going so I can meet them and we can start the long drive. Have fun trick-or-treating.”
“We will. Be careful.”
I smiled as I headed to the garage. Em and Sergei always gave me my own space and didn’t try to act like my parents, but sometimes Em’s motherly instincts couldn’t be suppressed.
The closer I got to Meredith’s house, the more butterflies gathered in my stomach. It happened every time I knew I was going to see Josh. I was especially anxious because this was going to be our first real date. With skating and work taking almost all our time, our relationship so far had consisted of having dinner at the restaurant before my shift and making out in my car for a few minutes after. I was so excited we could finally hang out together as a couple.
I turned onto Meredith’s street, and my heart pitter-pattered at the sight of Josh in her driveway. He’d mussed up his hair with gel, and he wore a tight black T-shirt and dark jeans. His sleeves were rolled up, showing off the bulge in his biceps, and I itched with the anticipation of wrapping my fingers around them. We could be as free and affectionate with each other tonight as we wanted. And seeing him now… oh, how I wanted.
Josh turned away from Meredith and her boyfriend Adam to watch me step out of the car, and I fluffed my long curls over my shoulders. His eyes widened and swept over me from head to toe. He met me halfway down the driveway and put his hands on my hips while mine went straight for his arms.
“Holy smokes,” he said quietly. “Court, you look… the word hot just isn’t enough.”
My butterflies fluttered on overdrive as Josh glanced again at my costume. I leaned into him and squeezed his biceps.
“You look pretty indescribable, too,” I said.
“I need to see the outfit,” Meredith said and instructed me to turn around. “Whoo! Sex-ay!”
I surveyed her Flintstones costume, which resembled a mini toga. “You’re totally rocking the hot cavewoman look.”
“I wanted sexy comfort. Being able to wear sandals sealed the deal.”
“And I get to not wear pants.” Adam spun around in his Fred Flintstone orange toga. “Just kidding. I have shorts on under here.”
Meredith walked around to the passenger side of Adam’s car. “Let’s get on the road. It’s gonna take us an hour to get there.”
Josh and I slid into the backseat, and I cozied against him as he draped his arm around me. With the limited amount of time we’d been able to spend together, an hour car ride sounded heavenly. While we all talked and laughed about our childhood Halloween costumes, Josh caressed my hand, tracing wispy patterns on my palm with his thumb. Every stroke he made melted me more inside. I was going to be a puddle of mush by the time we got to P-town.
“What was your favorite costume?” Josh asked me. “I’m guessing Dorothy.”
“I was Dorothy a couple times, but my favorite was when I dressed up like my grandma’s cat.”
“Your grandma’s cat?” Meredith cackled from the front seat.
“He was this huge, fluffy orange and white beast named Arthur, but I used to call him Fluffy McFlufferson.”
“Fluffy McFlufferson?” Josh’s laughter shook both of us, and I started laughing, too.
“I thought Arthur was too boring. Anyway, I loved that cat and pretended he was mine, so my mom made this big orange and white fur ball of a costume for me. All you could see was my little face because everything else was covered in fluff. I had to waddle down the street to trick-or-treat because I was so stuffed up.”
Everyone in the car cracked up, and I added, “I was pretty stinkin’ cute, though.”
; Josh caught his breath and grinned at me. “I bet you were. But I’m glad you’ve moved on to less furry costumes.”
He rubbed my leg, and I angled toward him and brushed my lips to his, hinting at what I wanted. He gave it to me in a soft, slow kiss that sent a long, electric shiver down my spine.
I was still buzzing when we arrived in P-town. We found our way to the hub of activity, and I immediately saw what Em had meant about the costumes. In a stretch of one block, we encountered more feathers, leather, and skin than I’d ever seen. Lady Gaga seemed to be a popular costume choice for the evening, but I couldn’t tell if some of the impersonators were men, women, or a mixture of both.
“Hey, Blue Eyes.” A guy in a sparkly jumpsuit looked Josh up and down.
Josh blushed, and I covered my giggle with my hand. He got quite a few more catcalls and waggled eyebrows as we walked down crowded Commercial Street. Adam received his own share of comments, most about his bare legs.
“Lookin’ good, Danny Zuko!” someone called out as we entered one of the clubs.
Josh gave his admirer a little wave, and I leaned closer to him. “You’re actually more like the lead guy in Grease 2 than Danny Zuko. Remember the smart, quiet one?”
He moved in front of me and pulled me against him. “You don’t think I could be the bad boy?”
The passion in his hooded eyes made my knees weak. I looped my arms around his shoulders and held on tight.
“I don’t want you to be.” I put my lips to his ear. “Sweet, shy guys are so much hotter.”
He turned his head so our mouths just about touched. A slow smile spread across his, and one soon followed on mine. He kissed me, and I felt an extra thrill that we were standing in a crowded room, happily acting like a couple should.
“You lovebirds want something to drink?” Meredith asked.
“I’ll get it,” Josh said, loosening his hold on me.
She waved him off. “I’ve got the first round.”
“I’ll take a diet soda,” I said.
“Regular for me,” Josh said.
“Oh, you crazy kids.” Meredith laughed as she and Adam headed to the bar.
Crossing the Ice Page 14