“Girlfriend?” Mrs. Cassar looked from Josh to me and back again. “When did this happen?”
“About a month ago, but no one knew about it until last week,” I said as I topped off Mr. Mayer’s water.
“Well, it’s about time. I was tired of watching you two make googly eyes at each other.”
Josh and I both dissolved into laughter. One of my regulars at the opposite end of the bar signaled for my attention, so I composed myself and went to serve the elderly man. I headed to the kitchen next and returned with Mrs. Cassar’s grilled salmon.
“Now that you’re a couple, I expect this Christmas show number to be dripping with romance,” she said.
I started laughing again. “That’s our goal.”
“What do your costumes look like?” she asked as she cut into her fish. “I need to visualize this.”
“I’m in all black with a red tie,” Josh said.
“And I’m wearing a red dress I used for one of my programs last year,” I said.
Mrs. Cassar set down her utensils. “You can’t wear an old dress for this. You need something special for this special number.”
“I’d love to have something new, but costumes are really expensive.”
“How expensive?”
“Like a couple thousand dollars.”
She took her purse from the back of her barstool and pulled out her checkbook. “Would three thousand be enough?”
I gaped at her. “Mrs. Cassar, you can’t… I can’t take your money.”
“I want you to have a beautiful new dress to wear when you skate with Joshua.” She clicked her ink pen and held it above the paper. “So three thousand?”
“You’re so generous, but I couldn’t. It’s too much—”
“Dear, I have more money than time left to spend it. I’ll write the check for three grand, and if you have money left over, you and Joshua can use it to do something fun.”
She gave me the check, and I pressed my hand to my forehead. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“I hope my seamstress has enough time to make it,” I said as I stared at the number of zeroes on the paper. “The show’s in three weeks.”
She sipped her merlot. “If she needs more money to put a rush on it, just let me know.”
Josh wore the same wide-eyed expression I had. “This is really awesome of you, Mrs. Cassar.”
“Thank you again,” I said. “I’m gonna put this somewhere safe.”
I hurried to the kitchen and stored the check in my wallet. Em was going to be just as shocked as I was when I showed it to her. She was aware I’d wished for a new dress since Stephanie was having one made. Who knew I had a fairy godmother? I couldn’t imagine writing a three-thousand-dollar check like it was spare change.
For the rest of the night I made sure I took care of all Mrs. Cassar’s needs before she even voiced them. As she readied to leave, I thanked her profusely until she told me to stop.
“I don’t want to hear any more about it,” she said. “Just get that dress made — something that will make Joshua want to rip it off you.”
My cheeks flamed as did Josh’s. He dipped his head and chuckled quietly.
“It’s going to be a family show,” I said between laughs.
“You can be classy and sexy at the same time.” She slipped one arm into her fur coat, and Josh helped her with the other one. “Tell that to your seamstress. Classy and sexy.”
I nodded obediently. “Got it.”
After she left, I looked at Josh and shook my head in disbelief. “That was insane.”
“I knew she was excited about us skating together, but that took it to a whole new level,” he said.
“If you were my full-time partner, she might’ve bankrolled all my expenses.” I laughed.
I went back to work, and Josh watched the Bruins game on the TV behind the bar while I prepared for closing. He also waited for me to change out of my uniform and freshen up so I didn’t reek of food.
I drove behind Josh to his house and met him at the front door, hoping Stephanie wouldn’t be in the living room to greet us with a scowl. I hadn’t spoken to her since she’d outed us in Lake Placid. Knowing she’d seen our texts made me feel like she’d read my diary, and I hated her having any kind of power over me.
I entered the house tentatively at Josh’s side, and my shoulders relaxed when I saw the quiet living room. From the left end of the house I heard a shower running.
“Do you want something to eat? Drink?” Josh asked.
“I’ll take some water.”
He poured a couple of glasses, and we retreated to his room on the opposite side of the house from Stephanie’s. It was just as clean as it had been the last time I’d been there except his overflowing suitcase sat beside the closet.
“I haven’t fully unpacked from last week either,” I said.
“I was going to shove it in the closet, but it wouldn’t fit.” He laughed as he shut the door and turned the center of the knob.
“You weren’t kidding about locking the door,” I said.
“I don’t trust Steph not to barge in here.”
“I don’t trust her regarding anything.”
I looked around, and besides the rolling chair under the keyboard, there was nowhere to sit except the bed, so I slipped off my ballet flats and sat cross-legged on the gray comforter. Josh stared at me as I took a long drink of water.
“What?” I touched my hair. Had I missed brushing a spot after I’d taken it down at the restaurant?
“Nothing. I just… I like seeing you here.” His eyes smiled first, then his mouth.
I returned his smile with an even bigger one. “I like being here.”
He watched me a few seconds longer before turning to the keyboard. “Would you rather live entertainment or—” He pointed to the shelves of CDs. “Recorded music?”
“Mm… surprise me with a CD.”
While he scanned the cases, I emptied my glass and went to the kitchen for a refill. I was headed back through the living room when Stephanie met me halfway. Her hair was damp, and she had on white silky pajamas.
“When I blew the whistle on you, I didn’t think about the fact that you’d be hanging around here now.” She gave me the scowl I’d expected.
I contemplated ignoring her as I’d been doing, but I couldn’t stop the anger from spilling out. “Did you even apologize to Josh for invading his privacy? I know you could care less about hurting me, but that was an awful thing you did to him.”
“He never apologized for lying to me. And I didn’t exactly enjoy reading your sickening texts.”
I slowly shook my head. “You have no clue what it’s like to have strong feelings for someone.”
“You’re kidding yourself if you think you and Josh are going to last. He’s had this fantasy of you for years… I have no idea why…”
How does she know that? Oh, yeah, our texts. Damn her.
She folded her arms. “But now that he has you, he’s going to realize you don’t live up to any fantasy. It’s only a matter of time.”
The coldness in her eyes mimicked that of her mother’s, and I wanted nothing but to escape from her, too. I barged past her and returned to the safe haven of Josh’s room, locking the door behind me. The mellow music of Keane came from Josh’s laptop — exactly what I needed to calm me after my encounter with Stephanie.
“You okay?” Josh paused as he rearranged CDs on the shelf.
“Yeah, I ran into Stephanie.”
His face hardened. “What did she—”
“It’s okay. I don’t want to taint our evening by talking about her, so I’m pretending it never happened. This is our happy place,” I said as I climbed onto the bed.
Josh fought to contain his grin, and I realized where I’d sat as I’d made my declaration.
“I meant… I meant this room is our happy place, not necessarily the…” I stammered and star
ted laughing. “You know what I was trying to say.”
Josh was now grinning ear-to-ear. “Totally.”
He filed away the CD cases, and I picked up his sketch book from the nightstand and flipped to the last page with markings. I smiled as I saw he’d designed a program to the Pride and Prejudice song he’d played for me on the Vineyard. The pattern showed multiple lifts, some with names I didn’t recognize.
Josh sat beside me, and I ran my finger over the drawing. “Did you make up some of these lifts?”
“I’m not sure if they’d actually work since I haven’t tried them.”
“Still, it’s pretty cool you created them from scratch.” I carefully turned the pages and noted the variety of music he’d used for programs — from classical to alternative rock. “If you could do anything other than be a lawyer, would this be your dream job?”
He rested his elbow on his bent knee and raked his fingers through his hair. “It doesn’t really matter…”
“Just humor me and pretend you don’t have to go to law school.”
He chewed his lip. “Yeah, definitely. I’d love to be a choreographer. Maybe teach dance or piano on the side.”
“Have you thought about telling your dad that being a lawyer isn’t your dream?”
His eyes took on a faraway look. “My grandfather started the firm, and my dad knew from the time he was born that he’d take over one day. He’s had that same expectation for me all my life.”
“But it’s not what you’re passionate about.”
“I wish it was that simple,” he said, messing his hair again.
I shifted the book on my lap so I could turn toward him. “I know you don’t want to disappoint your dad, but maybe if you talked to him, he’d understand your heart isn’t in this.”
“I don’t think he’d understand me wanting to chase a pipe dream.” He stared down at the sketches.
“Why does it have to be a pipe dream?”
“I have no significant experience. It’s not something I could jump right into and make a living.”
“Everyone has to start somewhere. Em and Sergei have a lot of connections and could help you.”
He looked up at me, and I didn’t see the hope I longed to find in his eyes. I saw thick clouds of doubt.
“It would still be a long shot, and in my dad’s opinion, not an acceptable alternative to carrying on the family business.”
He lowered his head, and I could sense the weight he felt. The heavy expectations. I put my glass on the nightstand and paged silently through the book. I’d been entertaining the idea that Josh could ditch law school and stay in the Boston area, but that’s all it would ever be — a crazy idea. I totally got that he didn’t want to let down his father. I felt the same about getting into Boston College. Even though that was my dream, it was also very much my dad’s.
I slowly closed the book and set it aside. “I just wish you could have the opportunity to do more with all your talent and creativity.”
“Because I’m a ‘creative genius?’” he joked.
“You are.” I looked firmly into his eyes. “It’s the only thing Stephanie’s ever said that I agree with.”
He turned and braced his arm on the mattress so he faced me. “I owe a lot of that creativity to you.”
“Me?”
“You inspire me.” He brushed his knuckles down my cheek. “More than anything else in the world.”
My pulse quickened and I leaned into him, so close our breath mixed. “How do I inspire you?”
His fingertips trailed lightly along my jaw, and his thumb teased my bottom lip. He was inspiring me to do lots of creative things, all involving his beautiful body.
“I think about you… how you would look on the ice.” He combed his fingers through my long curls. “Your hair is down just like this. It falls around my face when I hold you close.”
His hand ran the silky length of my hair and caressed the sleeve of my sweater. “Your arms are bare… and you shiver when I touch your skin.”
I shivered then without him having any contact with my skin.
“And when I hold you and we move across the ice, I feel the curve of your body against mine…”
He cupped my hip, and his long, thick eyelashes hooded his eyes. I pulled his head down to mine, and our lips crashed together. We kissed without taking a breath, like it was the first time and the last time. He angled me back onto the bed, his knee between my legs, and I pressed up against him, igniting the heat between our jeans.
Our kiss slowed and deepened, and my hands roamed across his back, exploring all the hard ridges. When he stroked my bottom lip softly between his teeth, I moaned and clenched his T-shirt in my fists. He slowly lifted his head and held me still with his eyes. They were filled with so much affection and wonder and desire.
“I love the way you look at me,” I said.
He swept a strand of hair from my cheek. “Sometimes I can’t believe I’m finally with you.”
My heart raced as did my mind. What if there was some truth to what Stephanie had said? Were Josh’s feelings for me truly real or was he caught up in the fantasy he’d had for so long? What I felt for him was most definitely real. More real than anything I’d ever known.
His mouth covered mine, gently coaxing it open, and I drew him further inside, needing to drown my doubt. I let him kiss me and touch me until all thoughts drifted away, and only the warmth of his lips and his hands remained.
Chapter Nineteen
Outside my changing stall, the loud chatter of skaters getting ready for the Christmas show echoed off the tile walls of the rink bathroom. I picked up my duffel and pushed aside the curtain, and Liza spun around from primping in the mirror.
“Oh my God. Josh is going to pass out when he sees you in that dress,” she said.
I smoothed the silky red fabric and stepped up to the long mirror to make sure I was tucked in everywhere. The neckline of the dress dipped lower than that on any of my competition dresses. Skinny straps circled my shoulders and crisscrossed over my back, where the material also plunged deeper than usual. This was the sexiest costume I’d ever worn. And damn if I didn’t feel incredible in it.
“Let’s hope none of the stones fall off while I’m skating. It was just finished yesterday.” I fluffed my hair over my shoulders.
“Maybe Stephanie will trip on one of them and fall flat on her face.” Liza snickered.
I laughed as I slipped into my Team USA jacket. “As much as I would enjoy that, I want this to go well for Em. She’s put up with so much crap to get this show done.”
We squeezed past the little girls spraying each other’s hair and went into the locker room to put on our skates. When we’d laced them up and attached our guards, we click-clacked out to the noisy rink. A large crowd packed the bleachers and filled the “standing room” areas around the boards. After a quick scan, I found my parents and Mrs. Cassar a few rows in front of them.
Josh paced next to the lobby doors, stretching his long limbs, and he stopped and smiled when he saw me. “Are you going to wait until right before we skate to show me your dress?”
“Maybe,” I said coyly.
“You’d better not. He’s going to need a few minutes to recover.” Liza giggled and scurried over to a group of the junior girls.
“How about a little peek?” Josh moved closer and tugged on my zipper.
I laughed and closed my hand around his. “I think Mrs. Cassar should see it first since she paid for it. I was going to go tell her hello.”
He grabbed my waist before I could get past him. “I think she’d be fine with letting me have the first look.”
“Hi, Honey!” Mom waved as she jogged over.
We split apart, and Mom embraced Josh, who smiled at me over her shoulder.
“He gets a hug first?” I said.
“Well, his parents aren’t here to give him one,” she said as she put her arms around me.
Oh, Mom. Do you really think his pris
sy mother would be showering him with affection if she was here?
“I want to meet Mrs. Cassar and thank her.” Mom looked toward the bleachers.
“Two minutes!” Em shouted as she worked her way through the crowd of skaters fidgeting and buzzing with energy.
“I’ll introduce you after the show,” I said.
“Okay.” She kissed my cheek. “Skate great. You too, Josh!”
The lights dimmed, and Em welcomed everyone to the show before herding the youngest kids to the ice for the opening number. As we watched them skate in circles to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Josh played with the collar of my jacket, attempting to peek inside. I laughed and swatted his hand.
“Very soon,” I promised and went to stand next to Mark, who didn’t look like he was having nearly as much fun.
“Last Christmas show ever,” I said.
“You remember our first one?” he asked as he straightened his red tie.
“When we skated into the Christmas tree? Kinda hard to forget.”
One corner of his mouth twitched upward. “They never let us use props again.”
“Well… Stephanie is kind of a prop. Cold and unfeeling.”
He choked on a laugh. “I would’ve much preferred to skate with a plastic candy cane.”
Sergei came over with a clipboard in hand and a pen shoved behind his ear. “You guys ready?”
Mark saluted and inched toward the boards, and I hung back to wait for Josh. Stephanie was saying something to him, but he left her in mid-sentence when he saw me unzip my jacket. He stood in front of me and let out a slow puff of air as I revealed the dress.
“Remind me to thank Mrs. Cassar a million more times,” he said.
I grinned and tossed the jacket under the stereo. “Are you feeling inspired?”
His eyes swept over me, lingering on my deep neckline. “I’m feeling a lot of things.”
I slowly turned to face the ice, wishing I could see his appreciation of the back of the dress. I soon felt it as he brushed my hair from my shoulder, his fingertips tickling my skin. I shivered, and he curled his arm around my waist, warming me with his body.
Crossing the Ice Page 20