The Lady Sleuths MEGAPACK ™: 20 Modern and Classic Tales of Female Detectives

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The Lady Sleuths MEGAPACK ™: 20 Modern and Classic Tales of Female Detectives Page 143

by Catherine Louisa Pirkis


  When we found words again I drew a deep breath, and said, simply, ‘How did you manage to do it?’

  ‘I tried to clamber past the wall that barred the way there by sheer force of stride—you know, my legs are long—and I somehow overbalanced myself. But I didn’t exactly fall—if I had fallen, I must have been killed; I rolled and slid down, clutching at the weeds in the crannies as I slipped, and stumbling over the projections, without quite losing my foothold on the ledges, till I found myself brought up short with a bump at the end of it.’

  ‘And you think no bones are broken?’

  ‘I can’t feel sure. It hurts me horribly to move. I fancy just at first I must have fainted. But I’m inclined to guess I’m only sprained and bruised and sore all over. Why, you’re as bad as me, I believe. See, your dear hands are all torn and bleeding!’

  ‘How are we ever to get him back again, Brownie?’ Elsie put in. She was paler than ever now, and prostrate with the after-effects of her unwonted effort.

  ‘You are a practical woman, Elsie,’ I answered. ‘Stop with him here a minute or two. I’ll climb up the hillside and halloo for Ursula and the men from Lungern.’

  I climbed and hallooed. In a few minutes, worn out as I was, I had reached the path above and attracted their attention. They hurried down to where Harold lay, and, using my cage for a litter, slung on a young fir-trunk, carried him back between them across their shoulders to the village. He pleaded hard to be allowed to remain at the chalet, and Elsie joined her prayers to his; but, there, I was adamant. It was not so much what people might say that I minded, but a deeper difficulty. For if once I nursed him through this trouble, how could I or any woman in my place any longer refuse him? So I passed him ruthlessly on to Lungern (though my heart ached for it), and telegraphed at once to his nearest relative, Lady Georgina, to come up and take care of him.

  He recovered rapidly. Though sore and shaken, his worst hurts, it turned out, were sprains; and in three or four days he was ready to go on again. I called to see him before he left. I dreaded the interview; for one’s own heart is a hard enemy to fight so long: but how could I let him go without one word of farewell to him?

  ‘After this, Lois,’ he said, taking my hand in his—and I was weak enough, for a moment, to let it lie there—‘you cannot say No to me!’

  Oh, how I longed to fling myself upon him and cry out, ‘No, Harold, I cannot! I love you too dearly!’ But his future and Marmaduke Ashurst’s half million restrained me: for his sake and for my own I held myself in courageously. Though, indeed, it needed some courage and self-control. I withdrew my hand slowly. ‘Do you remember,’ I said, ‘you asked me that first day at Schlangenbad’—it was an epoch to me now, that first day—‘whether I was mediæval or modern? And I answered, “Modern, I hope.” And you said, “That’s well!”—You see, I don’t forget the least things you say to me. Well, because I am modern—‘my lips trembled and belied me—‘I can answer you No. I can even now refuse you. The old-fashioned girl, the mediæval girl, would have held that because she saved your life (if I did save your life, which is a matter of opinion) she was bound to marry you. But I am modern, and I see things differently. If there were reasons at Schlangenbad which made it impracticable for me to accept you—though my heart pleaded hard—I do not deny it—those reasons cannot have disappeared merely because you have chosen to fall over a precipice, and I have pulled you up again. My decision was founded, you see, not on passing accidents of situation, but on permanent considerations. Nothing has happened in the last three days to affect those considerations. We are still ourselves: you, rich; I, a penniless adventuress. I could not accept you when you asked me at Schlangenbad. On just the same grounds, I cannot accept you now. I do not see how the unessential fact that I made myself into a winch to pull you up the cliff, and that I am still smarting for it——’

  He looked me all over comically. ‘How severe we are!’ he cried, in a bantering tone. ‘And how extremely Girtony! A System of Logic, Ratiocinative and Inductive, by Lois Cayley! What a pity we didn’t take a professor’s chair. My child that isn’t you! It’s not yourself at all! It’s an attempt to be unnaturally and unfemininely reasonable.’

  Logic fled. I broke down utterly. ‘Harold,’ I cried, rising, ‘I love you! I admit I love you! But I will never marry you—while you have those thousands.’

  ‘I haven’t got them yet!’

  ‘Or the chance of inheriting them.’

  He smothered my hand with kisses—for I withdrew my face. ‘If you admit you love me,’ he cried, quite joyously, ‘then all is well. When once a woman admits that, the rest is but a matter of time—and, Lois, I can wait a thousand years for you.’

  ‘Not in my case,’ I answered through my tears. ‘Not in my case, Harold! I am a modern woman, and what I say I mean. I will renew my promise. If ever you are poor and friendless, come to me; I am yours. Till then, don’t harrow me by asking me the impossible!’

  I tore myself away. At the hall door, Lady Georgina intercepted me. She glanced at my red eyes. ‘Then you have taken him?’ she cried, seizing my hand.

  I shook my head firmly. I could hardly speak. ‘No, Lady Georgina,’ I answered, in a choking voice. ‘I have refused him again. I will not stand in his way. I will not ruin his prospects.’

  She drew back and let her chin drop. ‘Well, of all the hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate young women I ever saw in my born days, if you’re not the very hardest——’

  I half ran from the house. I hurried home to the chalet. There, I dashed into my own room, locked the door behind me, flung myself wildly on my bed, and, burying my face in my hands, had a good, long, hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate cry—exactly like any other mediæval woman. It’s all very well being modern; but my experience is that, when it comes to a man one loves—well, the Middle Ages are still horribly strong within us.

  6. THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN

  When Elsie’s holidays—I beg pardon, vacation—came to an end, she proposed to return to her High School in London. Zeal for the higher mathematics devoured her. But she still looked so frail, and coughed so often—a perfect Campo Santo of a cough—in spite of her summer of open-air exercise, that I positively worried her into consulting a doctor—not one of the Fortescue-Langley order. The report he gave was mildly unfavourable. He spoke disrespectfully of the apex of her right lung. It was not exactly tubercular, he remarked, but he ‘feared tuberculosis’—excuse the long words; the phrase was his, not mine; I repeat verbatim. He vetoed her exposing herself to a winter in London in her present unstable condition. Davos? Well, no. Not Davos: with deliberative thumb and finger on close-shaven chin. He judged her too delicate for such drastic remedies. Those high mountain stations suited best the robust invalid, who had dropped by accident into casual phthisis. For Miss Petheridge’s case—looking wise—he would not recommend the Riviera, either: too stimulating, too exciting. What this young lady needed most was rest: rest in some agreeable southern town, some city of the soul—say Rome or Florence—where she might find much to interest her, and might forget the apex of her right lung in the new world of art that opened around her.

  ‘Very well,’ I said, promptly; ‘that’s settled, Elsie. The apex and you shall winter in Florence.’

  ‘But, Brownie, can we afford it?’

  ‘Afford it?’ I echoed. ‘Goodness gracious, my dear child, what a bourgeois sentiment! Your medical attendant says to you, “Go to Florence”: and to Florence you must go; there’s no getting out of it. Why, even the swallows fly south when their medical attendant tells them England is turning a trifle too cold for them.’

  ‘But what will Miss Latimer say? She depends upon me to come back at the beginning of term. She must have somebody to undertake the higher mathematics.’

  ‘And she will get somebody, dear,’ I answered, calmly. ‘Don’t trouble your sweet lit
tle head about that. An eminent statistician has calculated that five hundred and thirty duly qualified young women are now standing four-square in a solid phalanx in the streets of London, all agog to teach the higher mathematics to anyone who wants them at a moment’s notice. Let Miss Latimer take her pick of the five hundred and thirty. I’ll wire to her at once: “Elsie Petheridge unable through ill health to resume her duties. Ordered to Florence. Resigns post. Engage substitute.” That’s the way to do it.’

  Elsie clasped her small white hands in the despair of the woman who considers herself indispensable—as if we were any of us indispensable! ‘But, dearest, the girls! They’ll be so disappointed!’

  ‘They’ll get over it,’ I answered, grimly. ‘There are worse disappointments in store for them in life— Which is a fine old crusted platitude worthy of Aunt Susan. Anyhow, I’ve decided. Look here, Elsie: I stand to you in loco parentis.’ I have already remarked, I think, that she was three years my senior; but I was so pleased with this phrase that I repeated it lovingly. ‘I stand to you, dear, in loco parentis. Now, I can’t let you endanger your precious health by returning to town and Miss Latimer this winter. Let us be categorical. I go to Florence; you go with me.’

  ‘What shall we live upon?’ Elsie suggested, piteously.

  ‘Our fellow-creatures, as usual,’ I answered, with prompt callousness. ‘I object to these base utilitarian considerations being imported into the discussion of a serious question. Florence is the city of art; as a woman of culture, it behoves you to revel in it. Your medical attendant sends you there; as a patient and an invalid, you can revel with a clear conscience. Money? Well, money is a secondary matter. All philosophies and all religions agree that money is mere dross, filthy lucre. Rise superior to it. We have a fair sum in hand to the credit of the firm; we can pick up some more, I suppose, in Florence.’

  ‘How?’

  I reflected. ‘Elsie,’ I said, ‘you are deficient in Faith—which is one of the leading Christian graces. My mission in life is to correct that want in your spiritual nature. Now, observe how beautifully all these events work in together! The winter comes, when no man can bicycle, especially in Switzerland. Therefore, what is the use of my stopping on here after October? Again, in pursuance of my general plan of going round the world, I must get forward to Italy. Your medical attendant considerately orders you at the same time to Florence. In Florence we shall still have chances of selling Manitous, though possibly, I admit, in diminished numbers. I confess at once that people come to Switzerland to tour, and are therefore liable to need our machines; while they go to Florence to look at pictures, and a bicycle would doubtless prove inconvenient in the Uffizi or the Pitti. Still, we may sell a few. But I descry another opening. You write shorthand, don’t you?’

  ‘A little, dear; only ninety words a minute.’

  ‘That’s not business. Advertise yourself, à la Cyrus Hitchcock! Say boldly, “I write shorthand.” Leave the world to ask, “How fast?” It will ask it quick enough without your suggesting it. Well, my idea is this. Florence is a town teeming with English tourists of the cultivated classes—men of letters, painters, antiquaries, art-critics. I suppose even art-critics may be classed as cultivated. Such people are sure to need literary aid. We exist, to supply it. We will set up the Florentine School of Stenography and Typewriting. We’ll buy a couple of typewriters.’

  ‘How can we pay for them, Brownie?’

  I gazed at her in despair. ‘Elsie,’ I cried, clapping my hand to my head, ‘you are not practical. Did I ever suggest we should pay for them? I said merely, buy them. Base is the slave that pays. That’s Shakespeare. And we all know Shakespeare is the mirror of nature. Argal, it would be unnatural to pay for a typewriter. We will hire a room in Florence (on tick, of course), and begin operations. Clients will flock in; and we tide over the winter. There’s enterprise for you!’ And I struck an attitude.

  Elsie’s face looked her doubts. I walked across to Mrs. Evelegh’s desk, and began writing a letter. It occurred to me that Mr. Hitchcock, who was a man of business, might be able to help a woman of business in this delicate matter. I put the point to him fairly and squarely, without circumlocution; we were going to start an English typewriting office in Florence; what was the ordinary way for people to become possessed of a typewriting machine, without the odious and mercenary preliminary of paying for it? The answer came back with commendable promptitude.

  Dear Miss,—Your spirit of enterprise is really remarkable! I have forwarded your letter to my friends of the Spread Eagle Typewriting and Phonograph Company, Limited, of New York City, informing them of your desire to open an agency for the sale of their machines in Florence, Italy, and giving them my estimate of your business capacities. I have advised their London house to present you with two complimentary machines for your own use and your partner’s, and also to supply a number of others for disposal in the city of Florence. If you would further like to undertake an agency for the development of the trade in salt codfish (large quantities of which are, of course, consumed in Catholic Europe), I could put you into communication with my respected friends, Messrs. Abel Woodward and Co., exporters of preserved provisions, St John, Newfoundland. But, perhaps in this suggestion I am not sufficiently high-toned.—Respectfully, Cyrus W. Hitchcock.

  The moment had arrived for Elsie to be firm. ‘I have no prejudice against trade, Brownie,’ she observed emphatically; ‘but I do draw the line at salt fish.’

  ‘So do I, dear,’ I answered.

  She sighed her relief. I really believe she half expected to find me trotting about Florence with miscellaneous samples of Messrs. Abel Woodward’s esteemed productions protruding from my pocket.

  So to Florence we went. My first idea was to travel by the Brenner route through the Tyrol; but a queer little episode which met us at the outset on the Austrian frontier put a check to this plan. We cycled to the border, sending our trunks on by rail. When we went to claim them at the Austrian Custom-house, we were told they were detained ‘for political reasons.’

  ‘Political reasons?’ I exclaimed, nonplussed.

  ‘Even so, Fräulein. Your boxes contain revolutionary literature.’

  ‘Some mistake!’ I cried, warmly. I am but a drawing-room Socialist.

  ‘Not at all; look here.’ And he drew a small book out of Elsie’s portmanteau.

  What? Elsie a conspirator? Elsie in league with Nihilists? So mild and so meek! I could never have believed it. I took the book in my hands and read the title, ‘Revolution of the Heavenly Bodies.’

  ‘But this is astronomy,’ I burst out. ‘Don’t you see? Sun-and-star circling. The revolution of the planets.’

  ‘It matters not, Fräulein. Our instructions are strict. We have orders to intercept all revolutionary literature without distinction.’

  ‘Come, Elsie,’ I said, firmly, ‘this is too ridiculous. Let us give them a clear berth, these Kaiserly-Kingly blockheads!’ So we registered our luggage right back to Lucerne, and cycled over the Gotthard.

  When at last, by leisurely stages, we arrived at Florence, I felt there was no use in doing things by halves. If you are going to start the Florentine School of Stenography and Typewriting, you may as well start it on a proper basis. So I took sunny rooms at a nice hotel for myself and Elsie, and hired a ground floor in a convenient house, close under the shadow of the great marble Campanile. (Considerations of space compel me to curtail the usual gush about Arnolfo and Giotto.) This was our office. When I had got a Tuscan painter to plant our flag in the shape of a sign-board, I sailed forth into the street and inspected it from outside with a swelling heart. It is true, the Tuscan painter’s unaccountable predilection for the rare spellings ‘Scool’ without an h and ‘Stenografy’ with an f, somewhat damped my exuberant pride for the moment; but I made him take the board back and correct his Italianate English. As soon as all was fitted up w
ith desk and tables we reposed upon our laurels, and waited only for customers in shoals to pour in upon us. I called them ‘customers’; Elsie maintained that we ought rather to say ‘clients.’ Being by temperament averse to sectarianism, I did not dispute the point with her.

  We reposed on our laurels—in vain. Neither customers nor clients seemed in any particular hurry to disturb our leisure.

  I confess I took this ill. It was a rude awakening. I had begun to regard myself as the special favourite of a fairy godmother; it surprised me to find that any undertaking of mine did not succeed immediately. However, reflecting that my fairy godmother’s name was really Enterprise, I recalled Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock’s advice, and advertised.

  ‘There’s one good thing about Florence, Elsie,’ I said, just to keep up her courage. ‘When the customers do come, they’ll be interesting people, and it will be interesting work. Artistic work, don’t you know—Fra Angelico, and Della Robbia, and all that sort of thing; or else fresh light on Dante and Petrarch!’

  ‘When they do come, no doubt,’ Elsie answered, dubiously. ‘But do you know, Brownie, it strikes me there isn’t quite that literary stir and ferment one might expect in Florence. Dante and Petrarch appear to be dead. The distinguished authors fail to stream in upon us as one imagined with manuscripts to copy.’

  I affected an air of confidence—for I had sunk capital in the concern (that’s business-like—sunk capital!). ‘Oh, we’re a new firm,’ I assented, carelessly. ‘Our enterprise is yet young. When cultivated Florence learns we’re here, cultivated Florence will invade us in its thousands.’

 

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