"What was that for?" I said looking at Fel, we were sitting in his bar, and he wasn't smiling for a change.
"Do you want to quit?" He asked.
I shook my head, "No, of course I don't want to quit!"
"Then why do you want to talk to me, why do you want to have this conversation?"
I sighed and looked down at the table, "Do you still want me to be your champion?" I asked quietly.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked just as quietly.
"I've changed, Fel, and in the last year I don't think it was for the better either, I'm not sure that I'm still the same man that you signed on, the same man that gave you his oath." I paused a moment and then sighed, "And after what Fuerston did to Cenewyg, that was pretty cold, setting him up like that to be killed by us."
"Would you quit if I asked you to?" Fel asked me.
I nodded, "Of course I would! You mean a lot to me, I still think of you as my best friend! You've done so much for me too! If I was dragging you down, of course I'd step aside, I've told you before that I'm loyal, Fel, and I'm loyal to you."
Fel smiled at me, "And that's why I still want you as my champion, William, because if I asked you to leave, you would do it. You're more committed to me than any other champion I've ever had, some of my priests aren't even as committed as you are.
"Now, what's really troubling you?"
"I don't want to become an uncaring narcissistic self-centered, ass like Cenewyg was. I don't want to become a cruel sadistic bastard like those cops back in that jail. I don't want to become as unfeeling to the plight of others as those jerkwads raising money for terrorists to wipe out innocent lives."
"But you're a champion, William, you are above those people now, whether you like it or not."
I sighed, "Am I really?"
"Afraid so, especially with what happened to you because of Cameron."
I sighed again.
"But it doesn't have to go to your head," Fel said and smiled.
"Well, thank god for that," I smiled wanly.
"You're welcome," Fel said.
I couldn't help myself, I laughed. "So, did you really need to kill me to tell me all of this?"
"Actually, William, yes, I did. You needed some time to decompress, to distance yourself from everything that went on this last year. Also I wanted some time with you myself. The kinds of things you've had to do for the last year have been rougher than normal, and at the end there you were doing things that I know you didn't care for.
Those things take a toll on a man, even a champion, especially one like you, William. This is why I said you wouldn't make a good god, god's need to be self-centered and they need to think of themselves. Cenewyg would actually have made a decent god. Yes, he would have been an evil one, but he would have been good at it."
I looked at Fel, "How can you say that? You're not like that! Neither is Stephanie or Aryanna!"
"Actually, William, we are to an extent. We are all very self-centered, we think of ourselves and our religion first, we believe we are the center of everything, and we expect everyone to serve us.
"However, we understand the give and take between us and our followers, we understand the rewards that loyalty deserves, and the return on our investment in our people, and our followers. But when we do those things, we are always thinking about how it will effect us, ourselves, when we do.
"That's why you wouldn't make a good god, William, and why you wouldn't like it. You think too much of others before you think of yourself, you put the welfare of your wives, even Narasamman and Laria before your own! Why, you were even considering risking my wrath to help that old priest who was being punished. You are a great champion, because you care about the people and want to fight injustice, you empathize with their plight, you feel their pain, which is why the best champions always make the worst gods."
I sat down on one of the stools and thought about that.
"I really can't picture you as a self-centered narcissist, Fel," I said shaking my head.
"Oh, ask Aryanna about it sometime, she'll talk your ear off about it I'm sure," Fel laughed. "I gave her lots of headaches, sometimes I think I'm the reason she doesn't have male champions anymore!"
"Then why did she help you become a god?"
"Loyalty. That was one of the big differences between Cenewyg and Stephanie, or even me. We believe in loyalty. I may have given her a hard time about a hundred things, but I was loyal to her, and her first. I kept my word and fulfilled my vows."
I nodded, "I guess that makes a certain amount of sense. So what now?"
"Just like when you came back from the torture of that first evil god, I'm going to take a little time to rebuild you, put you back at ease with your own self. I don't want you second-guessing your decisions, and I don't want you agonizing over what's right and what's wrong. You have good instincts, and I want you to remember to trust them."
"Rebuild me?" I said a little surprised, I know I had been broken that one time, but I didn't feel broken now.
"Think of it more as therapy, William. No, you're not broken, but you are a little bent. Now, let's go talk with our people, and learn their stories, after that I believe Fordessa and Jane are planning a little concert for our benefit."
"Sure thing, Fel." I smiled and standing up we went outside. It did feel good here, and I always enjoyed talking to the people, it felt like coming home.
END Book Six
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John Van Stry
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If you liked this book, you might like my other stories:
Urban/Modern Fantasy:
Portals of Infinity, Book One: Champion for Hire
William is just your typical engineer fresh out of college with a stressful job, a boring life, and not a lot of prospects of anything better in the future.
Until one weekend while hiking in the woods he stumbles across a portal to another time, or perhaps another place. The more he investigates this new world the more he realizes that it may just be able to offer him a lot more than the one he's been living in.
However, there are forces at work beyond anything that Will has ever come across before and the local goddess seems to have taken a liking to him. Will may soon find himself getting an offer he cannot afford to refuse.
Portals of Infinity, Book Two: The God Game
Will’s life has definitely changed since that day he went hiking in the woods of Pennsylvania. He’s discovered that reality is a lot bigger and stranger than he had ever imagined. Learning about the portals that link the infinite number of worlds opened his eyes to that wider reality. Learning that he was being groomed to become the Champion of a God in one of those realities was an even more startling discovery.
But now it’s time for him to pay the bill for his ‘recruitment’. Just as the Gods on a single world fight and jockey for power and position, the older Gods from the many different spheres of the infinite play a much larger and more complicated game. The Goddess Aryanna has a quest she needs completed, and William and four other Champions are the ones tasked to do it.
What bothers Will however is what could a Goddess possibly need? And why would it take five Champions to retrieve it?
Portals of Infinity, Book Three: Of Temples and Trials
With the first of what he suspects will be many favors completed, William finds himself busy wi
th important tasks back at his home on Saladin. Queen Rachel has several jobs she needs him to do, and Feliogustus has similar tasks in mind for him as well. All in all, it seems easy enough to Will, it’s not like he’ll be fighting in any wars, or traveling across the infinite on a strange quest after all.
But things aren’t always as easy as they might seem, and both politics, as well as the other gods, aren’t going to ignore Will, or the tasks he’s been set to complete. And is if dealing with that isn’t problem enough, when the time comes to do some serious diplomacy between Hiland and a neighboring Kingdom, a deadly problem comes from a most unexpected quarter, forcing Will to take immediate action to payback both his, and his God’s foes.
Portals of Infinity, Book Four: The Sea of Grass
With no otherworld tasks to run for Fel, Will has spent the last year mainly helping Rachel consolidate her hold on her expanded kingdom. Barassa has been set back, for now, but Will knows it’s only a matter of time until they’re at odds once more and Barassa still has the bigger army. So taking the time to learn more about their enemy seems like a good place to start, and of course, Rachel has more things she expects him to do, even if he has no idea just how he’s going to do them.
Fel also has things for Will to do as well, even if they are the more mundane jobs that a Champion of the faith must perform. Escorting missionaries isn’t the most exciting or glamorous job, but its one Will must do. At least the people are different, interesting, and friendly, and some perhaps a little too friendly. But that’s never gotten him in trouble before, right?
Portals of Infinity, Book Five: Demigods and Deities
Life can be complicated for those who the gods pick as their champions, and for William, it's no different. Between dealing with issues at home and abroad for his god, and helping Queen Rachel defend Hiland against the threat of Barassa, William has been busy.
With a trip back to Sireen to deal with one of the consequences of an earlier quest, William finds he has more to deal with than expected, especially when his youngest is kidnapped for unknown reasons by a god with a grudge. That leads to some further discoveries about one of his earlier enemies, as well as enigmatic instructions from his god about his child. A child that there is more to, than it would seem.
The Hammer Commission
Mark just watched his partner and best friend of ten years torn limb from limb by the kind of unholy horror which leaves most people gibbering in terror. Only a combination of luck and skill kept Mark from sharing his partner's fate and being killed by an abomination that by rights shouldn't exist in this day and age.
When asked, Mark tells people he works recovering stolen artifacts, and that's true. However he's also a member of a very old and secret organization that protects the world from devils and demons summoned here to do evil. A foot soldier on the front lines of the eternal war between Heaven and Hell, things had been favoring the side of Heaven for some time now. Until today that is, when someone discovered how to summon a devil that no one had seen since WWII.
Never popular with his boss, Mark finds himself sidelined as he tries to discover just what happened. Upset with being taken off the case, Mark does discover one thing rather quickly: whoever is behind this is now after him, and if he's not careful he'll be joining his partner sooner, rather than later.
Lost Souls (Shrean Universe)
Jarith was exiled from Elsheval, one of the great Elvin kingdoms, eight years ago for political reasons. A powerful and loyal warrior who led the Queen's armies to many victories, he was angry and upset, but he followed his orders and left. Now, eight years later, he is being summoned back from his exile to deal with a problem that apparently the Queen believes only he can handle.
Despite his still strong feelings over this betrayal, his desire to see his home and family wins out and he decides to answer the call. But living an exile among humans for the last eight years has left its mark on him, having been forced to hide his Shrean form from those who wouldn't understand.
And what of the lover Jarith was forced to leave behind? The woman he once thought destined to be his? How will all of this affect her?
Science Fiction:
Children of Steel
Raj is just your average everyday genetically modeled and artificially created anthropomorphic worker for one of the many corporations of the future. Extensively trained and conditioned from birth he's now indentured for the next fifty years of his life; assuming he doesn't die first, or somehow manage to pay off his creation and training debts.
Created by the corporations to deal with the harsh labor shortages of the twenty second century when humans will no longer take on the dangerous jobs Raj finds himself now in the harsh world of space exploration, trading, corporate maneuverings, and sometimes the even more dangerous fanatics that hate Raj and his fellows. No longer in safe confines of the training academies he must learn how to live and deal with both his fellow workers and the humans he encounters and not get saddled with extra bills or fines because he's screwed up or worse yet, get 'put down' because he's lost his temper one time too many.
After all, it's not like he's human...
Interregnum (Sequel to Children of Steel)
The war is over, Raj and Cassandra are together, and everything should be 'happily ever after', and return to normal, right?
Well, they would be, but Cassandra still has issues to overcome after spending three years in POW camps where abuse and even torture were commonplace and many of the guards were sadists. Raj has gotten over most of his problems, after all, he did save his mate's life, but there are still issues from his past that are dogging him. And of course, there are just a few minor things that need to be cleaned up, leftover issues from the war, and some of those issues shoot back.
Interregnum is the sequel to 'Children of Steel' and picks up where it left off, continuing to follow the life of Raj, a genetic construct and wage slave to one of the major corporations that dominate Human explored space.
Danger Money
Jotun was born and bred to be a corporate assassin, back in the days of the Corporate Wars. Confined these days to life in a gilded cage, Jotun welcomes any opportunity to get out and lately he's been getting out a lot. But as a genetically designed and Laboratory bred animorph by a company that isn't quite sure if it trusts him anymore his choices are few: do the jobs that eventually will kill him, or refuse, which will also kill him.
Of course it isn't like he doesn't enjoy the work, but when everybody wants you dead you start to wonder if there isn't more to life.
When an unexpected betrayal kills the few friends he has and nearly him as well, Jotun realizes he has bigger problems than his lifestyle, namely finding out who betrayed him and paying them back, no matter what the cost.
Danger Money is a Science Fiction story that takes place in my Children of Steel universe, a future where genetically created animorphs serve as second-class citizens and handle all of the dirty and dangerous jobs that are part of humanity's extension to the stars.
Dialene
Dialene's Captain decided to play pirate, and one well placed nuclear torpedo later she finds herself prisoner of the Corporation whose ship they were attempting to raid; her friends and lover all dead. With no corporation to ransom her back she finds herself in the unenviable position of having to work off the debt assigned to her for her part in her Captain's actions. With concerns as to where her loyalties lie she has but two choices: Work in the mines on an airless rock where a small fem like her would not last long, or work in the company bar entertaining those very same miners.
At least working in the bar beats the alternatives, until one day an interesting character inserts himself into her life.
A Novella from my Children of Steel universe, Dialene is a foxmorph who until her capture was a highly rated shuttle pilot working a deep space trader for one of the more notorious corporations. Like most of her kind she had no choices in her employer who considered her nothing more than a disposable
asset.
Shorts: The Furry Years
A collection of short stories that I wrote years ago for several of different anthropomorphic fanzines. Includes the following short stories:
Changes: The hero of the story wakes up in the morning to find his world has changed, rather drastically for him, hardly at all for others.
Old Business: This is from my ‘Children of Steel’ universe, it’s about the beginning of it all, the very first of the sentient animen (or animorph) ever to be created.
New Beginnings: Jack is the new bartender at a small pub, a nice quiet pub in the business district. The patrons tend to find his opinions humorous, as what does a bartender know after all? (More of a slice of life type story).
Fox Hunt: A joke that I just could not resist.
Easy Money: What happens to spies who come in from the cold? Especially ones who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks? Nothing good I’m sure...
Available in eBook format at Amazon, available in print from CreateSpace or Amazon.
Portals of Infinity: Reprisal Page 24