Mieli carried her lunch to the far wall and settled down at the table full of her new friends. She caught the end of their discussion.
"—and that isn't the only reason we won't see it.” Her friend, Fasma, by far the most outspoken, looked very put out.
"What are we talking about?” Mieli smiled around at the other girls and snapped the cap off her water.
"Oh, just the fact that they've installed the new regulator and promptly announced that only the students in the upper program will be seeing it anytime soon.” Fasma made a face, as did several other girls. The upper program was for students who would go on to be doctors and was primarily male. The low rate of acceptance for women was a very sore spot among the smarter girls.
"Well,” Mieli said, “we knew that we wouldn't get a chance to practice with it. We rarely get an opportunity to use any of the more advanced equipment. Why the upset now?"
Selah leaned forward, clearly as indignant as Fasma. “No, we didn't expect to practice on it, but we generally observe the upper program on the better equipment."
Fasma broke in, her ire plain. “There will be no observation allowed, and we are not even to gaze upon the wondrous machine!” She dramatically pretended to wipe nonexistent tears, but Mieli wasn't fooled.
"I'm sorry, Fasma. I know how excited you were. Maybe your mysterious man will sneak you in?” Fasma's romance with a young man in the upper program was a widely known secret, although she managed to keep his identity under wraps. It was not forbidden but considered bad form.
"No.” Fasma made another face, her expressive features twisted into a grimace. “He already said no."
The other girls immediately called out suggestions for how she could persuade him to change his mind, and the ribald comments brought Mieli's thoughts around to Jai. Again. She sighed inwardly and wondered when the most casual reference to love or sex would cease to make her pine for him.
Every day her confidence grew. She still struggled with reading, but her grasp of the language was strong. Mieli had never really cultivated friends when she went to school on her planet. The struggle to succeed had turned even casual acquaintances into competitors. Here there was a competitive element, but it was Mieli who was different. The war and the way it had changed how she viewed herself would never let her be that person again.
She still felt shame when she considered how self-centered and unkind she had been to others. She was truly grateful to have a fresh start and no longer railed at her change in fortune. From her new perspective, she was able to see the loss of that life had finally turned her into a person worthy of life.
And as usual, she thought of Jai. She understood him better now, since her education had included the structure of the War Tribe. When she considered what he was trained to do and how he'd chosen to treat her, she marveled that she'd been so lucky. His training would have told him to enslave her at best, to kill her at worst. Instead, he'd shown her more kindness in a couple of short weeks than she had shown over the course of her entire life.
Sometimes, when she wondered why he hadn't returned, she thought that maybe he'd finally seen through her. What if he had realized how she'd intended to use her body to barter for his protection? It had only been at first, and she'd quickly come to care for him, but that might not matter. He'd shown her through his actions that he was inherently good. What if he'd seen her for what she'd been—inherently selfish?
Drawn back into the conversation by a poke in the side, Mieli smiled and tried to appear interested. Her friends now chatted spiritedly about the upcoming exams, and before long, she found herself drawn in. For a moment, though, she wished that Jai could see her. Maybe, if he could see how much she'd grown, how much she'd changed, he'd come back for her.
IN THE ATRIUM above the cafeteria, Jai watched Mieli and her friends and asked himself for the hundredth time why he hadn't left yet. She was more beautiful than he remembered. He'd never seen her smile that way, full of life and happiness. Any fool could tell that she was not just surviving without him—she was thriving. The fantasies he'd entertained on his way to her had always shown her despondent, clearly distressed without him. He'd imagined her throwing herself into his arms.
He'd gone so long without her and thought of her so often. The woman she had become in his absence might be grateful for his help, but if she had no deeper feelings for him, it might be impossible to win her.
Jai ignored the curious looks he received from the students who passed, and grimly wondered what he could do. No matter his intentions, his decision to give her independence had been based on his real belief that she would ultimately return to him. He'd only wanted her to choose him, not simply be stuck with him.
Now, real doubt crept in, and he realized that he could not—or rather would not—accept no for an answer. He would not let her go. The time apart had only increased his need for her. Jai would give her a chance to choose him, but if she said no, he would have to go with plan B.
Mieli had thought her days of study were behind her. Surrounded by her personal console, she poured over the symbols and diagrams from her medical technologies class. Across the room, Gienna's pet sintet slept on Mieli's bed in a warm ray of light from the open window. The little animal was usually asleep, its six legs tucked neatly under its furry body and the sleek triangle of its head settled deep into its shoulders.
Today she envied the little beast since she'd risen early to study and was still at it as afternoon crept by. A sudden chime rang through the house, and she wondered who'd come to visit. Gienna had many friends from her days as a nurse and many more still since she'd become a teacher. They often came to the house but rarely on Hannta, the traditional day of rest in the local nine-day week.
Curious and truly sick of studies, Mieli walked out of her room and onto the small landing that overlooked the large living area. Beneath her and out of sight, Gienna was talking in low tones. That was strange. The older woman never kept anyone waiting on the doorstep and certainly never acted secretively. The only person to overhear would be...Mieli.
Beyond curious, Mieli crept down the stairs and angled across the living room to peek into the entryway. At first she could see nothing past Gienna, who stood stiff-backed in front of the partially open door. Her hand gripped the doorknob tightly to keep the door from swinging open and was a clear message that her visitor was not welcome.
Nervous now, Mieli craned her neck and was just able to see past Gienna. Someone very tall and broad stood on the other side; the only portion of their body visible to her was a black-garbed shoulder and upper arm. It was only a glimpse, but it made her heart speed up. This close, she could hear some of what Gienna was saying, and over the pounding of her heartbeat, she listened in.
"No, this is not right.” Gienna was angry, and her whispered words were furious and fast. “You have no business here."
It was the answering voice that stopped Mieli's heart. Although she had rarely heard it, the cadence was as familiar to her as her own.
"Mieli is my business. Or have you forgotten that it was I who brought her here?"
"Yes, I remember. It was a good thing that you did, and she has been happy. Why would you ruin that now? What possible purpose could you have in returning?"
Mieli strained to hear the answer to this question because it was important to her—perhaps too important.
"Why should seeing me ruin anything? I have gone to much expense to see to her happiness, and if it was a good thing, it was also a selfish one.” His voice lowered, and Mieli held her breath while she waited for him to finish. “I did not lie to you, Gienna. I said I would return, and I have returned. She is ready."
"She is ready for what? School has just begun. There is still so much that she does not understand about this life. What good will come of you being here?” Gienna sounded almost gentle as she continued, “You obviously care for Mieli very much. I knew when you arrived with her that only someone very special could have made you ask a favor from me.�
�� She laughed. “From anyone, really. Where is that care now? Why the urgency to take her away?"
"I'm not here to take her away. I only want to see her.” Mieli could not see Jai around Gienna, but she could tell from his words that he was losing his patience.
There was a long silence, and Mieli knew from experience that her friend had leveled her formidable will on Jai. Gienna was capable of a steely look that gripped her students’ hearts with fear. If the outcome of this weren't so important to her, Mieli would have let Jai brave it out on his own, but she was too afraid he would leave before she could talk to him. See him.
"Gienna.” The older woman didn't so much as turn around. “Gienna. Please let him in.” Finally, Gienna moved, and Mieli could see Jai where he stood in the entryway. Her hands trembled, and she forgot every word she'd ever rehearsed for this reunion. He was even bigger than her memories, and the last year had only made him more handsome.
Jai had been tall and muscular before, but he'd filled out, and the veins of his arms no longer stood in stark relief. The lean planes of his face had softened a bit, giving him a more youthful appearance, and his hair was cut short. Well-fitted clothes of leather and fine woven material pronounced his status as a non-warrior class free tradesman. There were none of the insignias that might declare his trade or service, but that was not uncommon for traveling clothes.
She must have stared too long, because he started to walk toward her. “Mieli?” He looked confident, but the sound of her name was hesitant.
"Jai.” Her silence broken, she dashed across the distance between them and flung her arms around his waist. “I thought you would never come back.” The strong arms she had missed so came around her, and she leaned her head against his chest where she could feel the rumble of his words as well as hear them.
"I had much to do, Mieli, or I would not have left you at all.” Jai sounded sincere. Her heart thrilled to know that he hadn't left because she'd disappointed him. She still had a lot of questions, but her happiness kept them at bay. For now, being back in his arms was enough to quiet the doubts she still had.
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Chapter Eighteen
Mieli felt like every dream he'd had for the last year. She'd run to him just as he'd imagined, her face radiant and her eyes soft. His worries evaporated in the face of her happiness. Jai leaned away and tilted her head back to see her better.
"Where is your room, sen tai?” He kept his voice low, mindful of their audience. A flush crept across Mieli's cheeks, and she seemed a little uncertain.
"Upstairs"—she glanced over at Gienna—"if it's okay with you?"
The older woman clearly wanted to say something, but she only nodded and excused herself to her office as Mieli and Jai headed for the stairs.
In Mieli's room, Jai looked doubtfully at the narrow bed with its still slumbering occupant and pulled her instead toward the low seat along the window. He sat and pulled her easily into his lap. She seemed content to just be held, but he needed more. Much more.
Her lips were soft and tremulous against his, and he nearly moaned from the relief of feeling them at last. His hands found the buttons of her dress, and a few deft twists had the front parted to the waist. Underneath she wore a stretchy band to support her breasts, and he impatiently pushed it down. The little bit of weight she'd gained had filled her out even more here, and Jai pulled away from her lips to look at the taut globes he'd yearned for so many nights.
"You are so beautiful.” His fervent words seemed to please her, and she slid from his lap to stand. With excruciating slowness, Mieli stripped the dress down her body along with the breast band. In short order she stood before him in nothing but a scrap of fabric to cover her mound.
"Let me see you.” Her words were accompanied by a short motion for him to stand. Jai did so without hesitation, already heartily sick of the clothes that kept them apart. His efforts were complicated by Mieli's hands, though, as she thoroughly explored every body part he revealed. She touched and teased, caressed, and even licked. By the time he was naked she wore nothing as well.
Without any plan, they ended up on the floor with Mieli kneeling between his thighs while she ran her tongue up the length of his shaft. Jai's eyes rolled back into his head at the sensation of gentle suction on the head. The fantasies he'd had and the memories he'd obsessed over while they were apart were nothing compared to the reality of her hands and mouth on his body. Long, blissful moments passed while she gave his aching cock her complete attention, but he was so long without her and so hungry for her that he spent without control.
"Mieli!” The hard length of his cock throbbed and pulsed with release, and he gloried in the sight of his cum across her lips and chest. Jai snagged a towel from a hook on the wall and returned to Mieli on the floor.
Mindful of her delicate frame, he pressed her back to the floor carefully, then worked his way down her body. He lingered at the pert tips of her breasts, the small indent of her navel, and finally worked his way to the wet center of her body.
Jai had never seen anything so perfect as the pink folds between Mieli's legs. He used the thumbs of both hands to gently open her, to find the small, hard part of her that loved to be touched.
CAUGHT BETWEEN THE euphoria of Jai's return and the sudden onslaught of raw sexuality she had been so long without, Mieli felt like her body was on fire. He had both changed and stayed familiar, and there was a new freedom in their passion. She had never dreamed of his mouth on her this way, but it was unbearably intense. The swift pass of his tongue across her clit was about to push her into climax, and she so desperately wanted to feel him inside her first.
Mieli tried to tell him to stop, to let her breathe and hold it off, but it was too late, and she leaped into bliss with a shriek. Dazed and satiated, she didn't protest when Jai lifted her, and in a moment, they were propped up together on the window seat.
In the serene glow of the late-afternoon sun, Mieli gradually came back to herself enough to realize they had hardly spoken two words to each other. Her back rested comfortably against Jai's strong chest, and she almost turned to face him. Suddenly, all the doubts and fears that had haunted her over the last year came back to the surface.
Passion had always been there, but he had stayed away for so long. If she had known where he was, had been able to go to him, nothing could have kept her away. What if his feelings for her were only physical? He'd given her everything to start a new life, but as far as she could tell, this life didn't include him. What if he was here for her body but would leave again when he was sated?
These new and depressing worries made her stiffen and long to pull away from Jai. She couldn't blame him if he didn't want to be with her as she wanted to be with him. He'd already done and given her so much that she couldn't be ungrateful now and ask for more than he wanted to give.
Heart full of turmoil, Mieli tried to stay calm, but she sat up before she could stop herself, then rose to walk to the far window. She didn't turn to look back at him and gripped the windowsill hard to keep her nerve. She wanted to say something, anything that would make her seem less desperate, so he would know she didn't expect anything from him now.
"I don't know how to thank you.” The words were almost whispered, and Mieli struggled with her emotions. “I want you to know I'm happy now, and if there's anything else you want from me"—she gestured vaguely with one hand, as if to encompass what they had already done—"I'm here for you."
There was only silence from behind her, and she hastened to add, “I have to tell you, when I found you and you were so wounded, I saved you because I wanted you to help me.” Under her fingertips, the smooth wood of the window frame was warm from the sun, and she focused on the feel of it as she finished her confession. “I did everything I did in the woods so that you wouldn't leave me, so that you'd take me with you and make my life better."
This revelation, which had shamed her for so long and which she'd so desperately needed to confess
, finally got a response, and she heard Jai rise and walk slowly across the room. He did not speak, just pressed his body against her back, and his right hand slid around her hip to cup the intimate juncture he'd so recently tasted.
"So this"—his curled fingers spread and delved until two fingers slid into her slick channel—"this isn't real?"
Mieli's clenched her hands on the windowsill to brace herself. The confusion caused by her unhappy thoughts and Jai's seductive manipulations made it almost impossible to answer him. “No, I...I want you so much.” This last was said with a twist of her hips as she tried to get more of his touch inside her body.
Jai's left hand came up across her collarbone with his forearm between her breasts. One swift motion of his right hand pulled his fingers from her wet core and flattened his palm across her belly. Mieli whimpered at the loss but not for long. With both hands braced against her body, Jai lifted her easily, and she could only marvel at his strength as she came down slowly on his inhumanly hard cock.
The familiar feel of that blunt object was even more thrilling in this position, with her body suspended against his strong arms and hard hips. Once his length was as deep as she could take it, Jai stilled, and Mieli was pulled back against him so that her head rested against his shoulder.
"Now, Mieli.” Jai's voice was hard, and the breath of his words hot against the side of her face. “Are you using me now?” The hand he held to her belly moved lower and his fingers found the place where he stretched her wide. “What do you want from me now?"
With his fingers teasing at the hard button of her arousal and the round head of his penis lodged against the deepest part of her, Mieli felt desperate for release. “Please, Jai, please.” She tried to buck against his maddening hand. “Please."
"Please what, Mieli?” His fingers moved farther away, toward her navel. “Please leave? Please stop?"
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