by Ca$H
“Faydrah? Where is your mind at child?” her mother asked as she slowly stirred her chili.
“That was Kiam.”
Her mom turned to face the picture window over the stove as she sprinkled fresh basil into her mix. “So what are you going to do?” she asked continuing to face forward.
“I don’t know, Mama,” she replied truthfully, hearing the pain in her own voice. “I know I love him and that I've forced every man I've met away from me so that I could save my love for him but he let me down.”
Ms. Combs smiled then turned the fire down on her chili and put a lid over it. Grabbing a towel, she wiped her hands as she walked over to her precious child who now had tears filling her eyes.
She pulled a chair out from the table, sat down and reached for Faydrah’s hand, holding it in hers. “Listen honey. He didn’t let you down. You let yourself down. Kiam has always been honest with you. And you did him a disservice by fabricating parts of your love for him.”
Faydrah lowered her eyes because the truth hit hard.
Ms. Combs lifted her daughter's head up and looked her in the eyes. “You have to love him for who he is, not for who you want to change him into. You know Kiam loves you. He would do anything in his power to make sure you never see a day of hurt or sadness. But you have to decide if you're willing to wait until he is done growing,” she advised.
Faydrah took her mom's wisdom to heart but she was still undecided about what to do. Giving up Kiam would be so hard on her, but remaining with him and having to endure everything that came along with his lifestyle was a whole different type of pain.
Her mind went back and forth as they continued to talk about other things. Faydrah could barely pay attention to anything else her mother said; her thoughts were consumed by the choice she'd have to make.
The doorbell chimed breaking her thoughts.
“I’ll get it,” Ms. Combs quickly volunteered.
Faydrah stood up and drifted over to the sink and ran water over her face in an attempt to get it together. When she walked into the living room her mom had Kiam in a warm embrace. That was the type of history that they shared that could not be replaced.
Kiam slowly pulled back and out of her hold and locked gazes with the one that turned his gangsta into a love song.
“Let me let y’all talk.” Ms. Combs squeezed Kiam's arm and walked back to the kitchen.
Kiam kept his eyes on Faydrah as she stood on the other side of the room looking at him apprehensively.
“Come here,” he requested.
Reluctantly, she moved in his direction still battling with her thoughts. The little girl in her wanted to run into his arms and say fuck the world. But the woman in her spoke truth and logic. Make him give you what you deserve.
“Can I have a hug?” he asked, opening his arms.
Faydrah stepped into his embrace, careful not to hurt his arm. She melted under his touch instantly as her eyes closed and she took a deep breath, enjoying his scent.
A voice in her head whispered that she had to let go. But her heart blocked out the message and her body screamed for what only he could make her feel. She pressed against him tighter to quell the tingling between her thighs.
Kiam answered the call her body was giving; he gripped her back, sliding his hand down to her butt and planting soft kisses on her neck. Heat rose up from between her legs sending signals to Kiam's dick that she needed him.
Faydrah was on her way down Memory Lane emotionally naked and with rose colored shades on when she replayed her interpretation of her mother’s speech. You can’t change him.
Abruptly she pulled back, putting a little space between them so that her desire wouldn't take control of her tongue.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking in her face for some of the passion she felt for him.
Faydrah sighed heavily. Then she straightened her shoulders and forced the words out of her mouth. “Kiam, I’m not ready for this. We have a lot of things we need to talk about. And if we push them aside because our asses are on fire then we will be living a lie.”
“I don’t have anything to talk about except when are you going to put my ring back on your finger.”
“Exactly. It’s all about what Kiam wants. But what about what Faydrah needs?” She walked to the other side of the couch putting more distance between them. She looked at him with embers of anger in her eyes. Anger that stemmed from her loving him so fucking much.
He felt the heat from across the room and saw the intensity in those beautiful eyes of hers.
“You know what?” She went on. “I have to accept that this is my fault. I have been loving you under an illusion.”
“What are you talking about?” he was getting frustrated with her little tantrums.
“I knew what it was when I started on this journey, but I pushed that shit to the side because my life ain’t right without you. Then I almost got killed and that shit forced me to accept that my life ain’t right with you either.”
Her words hit his chest hard as the weight of them pulled at his heart. “I already told you I’m not doing this without you.”
“Then walk away from the streets Kiam,” she challenged.
“Eyez, don't ask me to do that shit. Hold me down and let a man be a man.”
She shook her head with profound regret. “You know what Kiam? Pride comes before the destruction of men.”
“I'm not doing this without you,” he repeated.
“Kiam, let me go,” she said as tears began to run down her face.
“That ain’t happening. I have to go outta town for a few days then I’ll be back for you.” He walked over to where she stood. “You belong to me. I’m not taking no for an answer.” He opened her hand and placed the ring in her palm. “I know you need time and I’ma give that to you. Regardless to what you decide just know you are the only woman I will ever love.” Kiam closed her hand then planted a single kiss on her lips. “I love you.”
“I know,” she responded as she watched him turn and move to the door.
“Bye ma,” he called out to Ms. Combs.
“Bye baby,” she yelled back from the kitchen.
She came back into the living room to see him off, but when she got there Kiam had already left out of the door.
Faydrah was staring out the window watching him back out of the driveway. When his taillights faded out of sight she ran into her mother’s arms and broke down.
Kiam was weighted by emotion that he quickly checked. He had already been warned about that and was not going to let it cloud his mission. He put Faydrah to the back of his mind and business in the front. He knew that his life depended on how he played out his next move and he wasn’t going to lose over being caught up in his feelings. At this level of the game one slip and a nigga's whole cranium got blown the fuck out. He was not letting that shit happen to him.
He flipped into beast mode and prepared to go handle his business—by whatever means necessary.
Chapter 4
A Stunning Revelation
Kiam looked at his young boy and spoke decisively. “We're going up in here to make shit right, but we're not bowing down to this nigga. If he don't have no understanding let your banger do the talking. If shit get hot we either come outta there together or we die side by side. There is no compromise to that,” he instructed.
JuJu nodded his head and clicked one in the chamber of his Desert Eagle. From this point on, it was do or die. If Riz was on some gorilla shit he was gonna make that nigga the top story on the ten o'clock news. “I'm ready fam. Let's go see what it do,” he said as they got out of the car at the same time.
Kiam had his heat on his waist and a small duffle bag slung across his good shoulder. JuJu followed him inside the building with his jaw set and his mind on creating chalk lines. He took in everything as they climbed the stairs to the sixth floor.
Bones opened the door and let them in. He had a mug on his face like something stupid was on his mental. Kiam loo
ked him in the eye communicating that death was right around the corner if he was intent on having it pay him a visit. JuJu's grimace punctuated that message, but Bones wasn't shook. He had more than a dozen bodies on his street resume and the thought of adding two more made his nuts swell.
None of the men spoke to each other. JuJu kept his eyes on Bones as he closed the door behind them. Kiam's gaze immediately honed in on Riz who was seated on the couch with his two Rottweilers at his feet. His short dreads were neatly trimmed and the army fatigues that he wore were starched and creased. Nothing about his appearance was cruddy but his eyes; they were two black orbs that resembled the darkness that came before death.
With four killahs in one small room and a breadth of animosity between them the tension immediately thickened.
Both canines rose and bared their teeth, letting out low growls. Kiam didn't flinch, he was gonna turn them into black and brown throw rugs the minute they pounced.
“Sit,” ordered Riz without breaking the eye lock that he held on Kiam.
The well-trained dogs obeyed their master's command while continuing to watch Kiam. The dog’s keen sense of smell picked up the heavy scent of danger that emitted from his pores.
Riz sized Kiam up. The reports that he'd gotten back from Cleveland confirmed what his first impressions had been. The man that stood before him personified realness but that didn't excuse what had happened.
Kiam dropped the duffel bag at Riz's feet. It landed with a thud. “I'm a man of honor,” he said. “I would never betray the people that vouched for me nor would I dirty my name. A man's word is worth much more than money. That's every dollar that you lost in our last transaction. I hope that brings peace between us but if not, it's your move.”
Riz duly noted Kiam's audacity; he had no choice but to respect the nigga's gangsta. Here he was with one arm in a sling, up in BK, in the crib of one of the most ruthless men in the city, letting his nuts hang to the floor.
Riz cleared his throat. Seconds later four cold-hearted assassins came out of the back wearing menacing frowns and holding assault rifles. They posted up around the room covering all sides and stood prepared to let their weapons bark at Riz's command.
Kiam's eyes scanned the room, the odds were seriously against him but that was the story of his life. He had never been one to fold against a stacked deck and that wasn't about to change now. Behind him JuJu wasn't sweating, he had resigned himself to kill or be killed. But he was going to take a muthafucka to the grave wit' him. Bones was going to be the first to get his top blown off, JuJu had already decided.
Quickly his eyes located the light switch on the wall. It was right there within arm’s reach. With the lights out, the darkness would minimize their advantage.
JuJu took a mental picture of where each man stood, he could put them on their asses without accidentally shooting Kiam. Yeah muhfuckaz, I'm 'bout to turn this li'l spot into Beirut.
Kiam was thinking the same damn thing. He showed no fear. His persona remained all dick and balls. Wasn't no pussy inside his jeans so there was no chance of him bitching up. Fuck he care about a six against two disadvantage? For most of his life it had been him against the whole got damn world. He looked at Riz's setup. There wasn’t enough of those muhfuckaz to get at him and his vicious ass young boy. And what purpose did dogs serve in a gunfight?
The thought brought a chuckle from his gut and his hand eased toward the strap inside his jacket. In that frozen moment of time, Eyez flashed in his mind. He hadn't told her goodbye so there was no way he was dying today. Fuck no! These niggas were about to get introduced to mass muhfuckin' murder.
The sound of the click clacks around the living room echoed in harmony as Riz's team peeped the move and clapped one in their chambers. Riz's hand shot up. “Everybody hold the fuck up!” he shouted. “There's no need for bloodshed. Let me talk to this man.”
Kiam's whistle was halfway out of his waistband and JuJu's was already aimed at Bones' head, a fraction of a second away from decorating the wall.
Kiam studied Riz's face and saw what he needed to see in order to quiet that beast within. His hand came off the rubber grip around the handle of his banger, and he let it settle back down in its place. “We good Ju,” he said without turning around.
JuJu removed his tool from Bones head but kept it out and ready to reverse the bodyguard's fate if the wind changed directions up in there.
Riz reached out, pulled the duffel bag to him and peered inside. He looked up at Kiam and nodded his acceptance. “Have a seat my friend,” he offered.
Kiam sat beside Riz on the couch.
Riz leaned over and grabbed a blunt off the cocktail table. One of his goons walked up and put some flame to it for him. Riz hit the blunt and slowly blew the smoke out. “What happened? Who on your team betrayed us?” he asked pointedly.
“Donella and Gator,” replied Kiam. “They both have been dealt with and can't possibly violate again.”
Riz considered what he had just been told. “I didn't see that in Donella,” he admitted. “I read her to be a down ass bitch. Maybe even loyal to a fault.”
Kiam just listened, he didn't see where true loyalty had a limit.
“It doesn't surprise me about Gator because he crossed people he was down with to join up with Big Zo, though what he was really loyal to was Lissha's pussy. I guess you’re coming in and taking over and probably taking Lissha from him too, pushed him to flip,” Riz continued.
Kiam left him to think whatever he wanted, but something Riz had said caught his attention. “How did Gator cross someone to hook up with Big Zo?” he delved.
“Ask Lissha, she'll tell you. But you better watch that bitch, behind that pretty ass smile is a loaded gun. Her loyalty to Big Zo is impenetrable, never think otherwise.”
“Mine is also,” stated Kiam. “Never think otherwise.”
Riz smiled appreciatively, loyalty was the attribute that separated real men from fakes. With a nigga like Kiam on his squad there would be no stopping him. He sat the blunt down in an ashtray and placed a friendly hand on Kiam's shoulder. “I like what you stand for. You're the type of man that can be trusted. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way about the man you work for.” Riz moved his hands back and forth animatedly.
“You can feel what you wanna feel Bleed, but I didn't come here for that. I came to straighten things up with you. Now that that's done where can we go from here?”
“Kiam, things aren't always as simple as that and not many people are who they appear to be. I used to have the same respect for Big Zo as you have for him now, but things started happening that has me wondering.” He leaned back and gathered his thoughts before sharing them.
Kiam looked over at JuJu who was still posted up by the door surveying everything and everyone. Riz's voice brought Kiam's attention back to him.
“Kiam, let me tell you a story. When the feds hit Big Zo and snatched up everything he had, I was the one that fronted Lissha and Treebie blocks to help them rebuild his empire. Not long after I began doing that one of my stash houses here in New York got jacked and three of my men lost their lives trying to defend it. A fourth one was left alive by the robbers to deliver a message.” Riz gestured one of his goons over to the couch.
The dreadlocked boy came across the room and stood awaiting Riz's order. “This is my son Jamaal. He is the one Blood Money left alive to deliver their message,” he said to Kiam.
Blood Money! Kiam was shocked, but his expression did not change. JuJu had heard the name too but he did not allow his emotions to betray his calm.
“Jamaal, show him what Blood Money did to you,” Riz prompted.
Jamaal let the stock of his chopper rest on the floor as he removed one of the gloves he was wearing and showed Kiam the scar left from the bullet hole that Blood Money had blown through his hand.
All kinds of thoughts ran through Kiam's mind but he revealed nothing to Riz. “What does any of this shit have to do with us?” Kiam questioned him.
Riz looked him in the eye and replied, “I had several of my men executed after that robbery. But as time moved on I have reason to suspect that Big Zo was behind it. I've tracked Blood Money to Cleveland, Ohio, Big Zo's stomping grounds. I don't believe in coincidence. I haven't been able to find out any of their identities but I will sooner or later, and if my suspicions prove correct I'm murdering everyone associated with Big Zo. You might wanna consider breaking ties with his organization.”
“Loyalty or death,” proclaimed Kiam, rising to his feet. “So I guess this ends our business.”
“Only if you want it to. Like I said, I have suspicions but no proof. We can carry on with our dealings, it is very profitable to both sides. But I can't trust delivering to your people outside of New York. I'll lower the price five hundred a shoe but you'll have to come up here to get them.”
“I can do that,” Kiam agreed and they shook hands.
As Riz walked him to the door he told him that he hoped his suspicions turned out to be wrong. “I do too,” Kiam replied. “Because when two giants clash a lot of little people get crushed.”
As Kiam and JuJu descended down the stairs they both were wondering who in the fuck Blood Money was. Kiam's forehead was creased, he needed answers and this time he was not letting Lissha blow him off.
Inside his apartment, Riz picked up his phone and dialed a number. “Yeah?” answered his man.
“What have you found out about Blood Money?” asked Riz.
“Nothing yet but I'm on it. And when I smoke 'em out, I'ma torture and kill 'em one by one,” said Wa'leek.
Chapter 5
Shattered Trust
Lissha slowly moved around her kitchen trying to prepare a meal for the girls. This would be the first time since Donella’s death that they were all together.
As she gathered all the items she needed to make an eggplant parmesan dish, the recollection of the last meal the four of them had shared along with the laughter and the love, flashed through her mind and caused tears to form in her eyes. Up until now cooking for her girls had been therapy to her dark soul but now with the image of an empty seat at the table, her hands became heavy and her taste buds seized on her tongue.