For the next ten minutes he filled Graham and Luke in on his teenage relationship with Ellie, leaving the fake abortion part out, making them think she didn’t tell him about their son, which in a way, she hadn’t, and how he’d discovered it all a few weeks ago. The details of the past weekend were easier to tell; mostly he focused on the medical issues and the process for the kidney transplant.
“Holy shit,” his brothers said in unison when he finished.
“We need to tell CJ I’m his father. I don’t know what to say or how he’ll react.”
“CJ’s a good kid. Sounds like you two have already connected. What’s going on with you and Ellie?” Of course Graham would want to know. Rachael had snitched to him about his date with Ellie.
Colton had purposefully avoided talking about their confusing relationship. He had yet to figure out if he wanted to get to the root of their issues, what transpired between them ten years ago, or forget and move on, starting from scratch. Although she must wonder why he walked away so suddenly.
“That’s not important right now.”
“I think it is,” Luke argued. “You’re going to be hanging around her more now. Have you guys picked up where you left off or is that all water under the bridge?”
And wasn’t that the million dollar question. “We have some things to figure out. Right now, though, CJ is our number one priority.”
“You’re an ugly son of a bitch, but you’ll make a good dad. I’m a little pissed that you stole Maggie’s and my thunder, though. We were supposed to have the first Riley grandchild.”
“Sucks to be you then, doesn’t it? How does it feel to always come in second?” Colton missed talking shit with his brothers, and picking on Graham had always been the most fun. A classic bickering between Maverick and the Iceman.
“You ladies keep squabbling, I’m taking a shower and going to bed. I have an early shift tomorrow.”
They stood and slapped each other on the back, leaving with a brotherly insult and the feeling of belonging. Colton drove home feeling lighter and more confident than he had earlier. He had his brothers at his back and Sadie by his side. How hard could it be to tell a cute kid that you were his dad?
Chapter Fifteen
Ellie
Ellie couldn’t be more pleased with CJ’s high spirits over the past week. He grumbled a little about his new diet and how bored he was, but other than that, she’d never seen him more happy. Still, after a week home, he missed his friends and had begged on more than one occasion to go back to school.
Rachael continued to come in five days a week to do her baking for local businesses and her catering company and looked at CJ with new adoration. She was itching to be an aunt to him. First, Ellie and Colton needed to talk.
Colton came by every day with Sadie, finding new projects to complete around the Inn. He fixed the wiring in the downstairs bathroom, unclogged the sink in the Pemaquid Point suite, and took down all the screens and put in the storm windows. Ellie paid him in Rachael’s baked goods and frozen dinners.
Even though he’d spent nearly every waking minute at her house, only leaving to bring Sadie for a run and to go home at night, they’d yet to talk about their past or CJ’s future. Every time they’d start to discuss the elephant in the room, CJ would want Ellie to lie down with him, or the phone would ring, or one of his brothers or Maggie and Mackenzie would stop by. His family was nice enough not to harass her to introduce themselves as uncles and aunts to CJ, and she appreciated their interest in her son, yet she knew it wasn’t fair.
CJ had a wonderful family itching to accept him into their homes, into their lives, and because of her stubbornness, he had yet to meet anyone besides mostly-absent Uncle Max.
He deserved to be surrounded by people who would love and welcome them into their hearts, and the Rileys had more than hinted they wanted the opportunity. The drama between Colton and Ellie shouldn’t keep CJ from his family.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she should respond to her parents’ phone calls. Max had given them her number and they’d left her a few messages. Thomas and Ginnie weren’t the groveling kind. They’d asked if they could come by for a visit. Ellie wasn’t ready for that yet. Not with CJ’s upcoming surgery and things between her and Colton so fragile.
After changing the linens in the Diamond Cove room, Ellie peeked out the window that overlooked the front and caught a glimpse of Colton driving in stakes along the driveway so the snowplow would be able to decipher between the parking lot and the grass. Always thoughtful, this man.
As if feeling her gaze, Colton looked up into the window, his eyes hidden underneath the visor of his Marines baseball cap. They both stood frozen, gazes locked even from so far away. Too far to read facial expressions yet close enough to read each other’s body language.
It was time. And Colton must have sensed it too. He pulled off his work gloves and headed toward the front steps, his head still tilted toward the upstairs window.
Ellie greeted him on the stairs. “You’re doing so much for me and I don’t have anything to offer you.”
“That’s not true.” His eyes darkened to a rich evergreen, his face remaining unreadable. Ellie licked her lips and swallowed hard. “I can think of a few things you can offer me.”
His gaze followed the movement of her tongue before tracing a seductive path down her neck, resting on her chest for a beat, and returning its trip north again, stopping at her eyes.
“I, uh. I…”
Colton stepped back as if waking from a trance. “I didn’t mean that.”
He didn’t? She did.
“You can repay me, not in…a sexual way. Although…” A familiar gleam in his eyes told her he was playing, but not really. “What I meant was—”
“Mom?” CJ yelled from down the hall.
“It’s time to tell him.”
“We haven’t planned this out yet.” Ellie fiddled with the hem of her sweatshirt and glanced nervously over her shoulder.
“You owe me, remember?” he whispered in her ear as he moved past her, heading toward CJ.
Panic and terror and excitement tingled through her body. How would CJ react? Would he feel betrayed that she’d lied to him all along? She could sense his hero worship already. What if he preferred Colton and his cool Marine stories and big muscles over his mother’s hugs and kisses and…talent for folding fitted sheets?
Ellie couldn’t compete with Colton. What nine-year-old boy would pick a hovering mother over a war hero dad? She only hoped he’d continue to love her after he heard the news.
“How do you spell surgery?”
Ellie watched from the doorway as Colton spelled out the letters. CJ sat on his beanbag chair, using the coffee table as a desk, his homework from his week of absences strewn all over the place.
“How do you spell hospital?” He chewed his lip and scrunched his nose, the little freckles getting lost in wrinkles as he concentrated on making his letters.
“Be careful. Next thing you know he’ll have suckered you into spelling out everything he writes in his journal.”
“That’s okay,” they both said in unison. Matching devilish grins had her insides in knots.
She stayed in the doorway, an invisible fly on the wall, as they worked through CJ’s writing assignment.
“Can I take a break now? I hate school.”
“Ten minutes. And then we work on math.” Ellie hated how she sounded…like a mom.
“Why do you hate school?” Colton patted the cushion next to him and CJ hopped from the beanbag chair to the spot beside Colton.
“Cause it’s boring. And only nerds do good in school.”
“I loved school when I was your age.”
“Nu-uh.”
Colton nodded. “Yup. And even in high school I got pretty good grades.”
“Were you a nerd?”
“Do I look like a nerd?” CJ’s little head slowly swiveled back and forth. “Cool kids are smart too, you know.”<
br />
“You were a cool kid?”
“Don’t I look like a cool kid?”
“You look old.”
Ellie snorted and they both looked over at her, seeming to have forgotten she was in the room.
“I actually knew your mom when she was in high school.”
She swallowed hard again and opened her mouth to speak. What would she say? Ellie got up and moved to the other side of CJ on the couch.
“Colton was definitely not a nerd back in high school. Although, I suppose he could have been. He had already graduated when I met him.”
“Was my mom a nerd?” he asked Colton.
“Your mother was the prettiest girl I’d ever met. I didn’t care if she was a nerd or a jock or even a princess.” He winked at Ellie, in an attempt to lighten the mood, she’d guess.
“Honey.” Ellie took CJ’s hands in hers and kissed his cheek, which he quickly rubbed off on his shoulder. “You know I’m going to keep kissing that cheek of yours, even if you wipe it off.”
“You’re going to want to break that habit. Girls like a guy who’s affectionate with his mom. I kiss my mom’s cheek every time I see her.”
“For real?”
“Yup.”
Ellie hated to be the one to dim the light in CJ’s eyes. If she waited any longer, though, she’d lose the nerve. It wasn’t fair to any of them to prolong this any longer. “Colton and I need to tell you something very important.”
“I’m not sick again, am I?” His eyes turned from silly to nervous in an instant.
“Oh, sweetie, no. I didn’t mean to scare you. This is something different. Not about you being sick.”
“No needles?”
“Not in this story.” Ellie took a deep breath and glanced at Colton for reassurance. He took one of her hands in his and she held on to CJ with her other hand. “You know how I told you a long time ago that your daddy couldn’t be around because he lived far, far away?”
“Like in China or Mexico or Canada?” Any time he learned the name of a new country or state he’d ask if that was where his father lived. She knew as CJ got older she’d have to come up with a better story. She supposed now was the time for the truth.
“He was actually in Afghanistan,” Colton said.
“Where’s Afghaninan?”
“Afghanistan…” Cole chuckled. “It’s about as far away from here as you can imagine. Your dad was in the Marines, fighting in a war.”
“Like you?”
“CJ, sweetie.” Ellie stroked his hair and kissed his cheek again. “Colton is your daddy.”
He cocked his head to one side and puckered his lips as if pondering life’s most complicated secret. “My friend Andrew’s dad is in the army. He came home last year and then was gone again. He’s not home a lot either.”
Really? No tears of joy, screaming about secrets kept? She and Colton eyed each other and shrugged. Maybe it hadn’t clicked in yet. “Colton won’t be going back to Afghanistan. He’s all done with that…job and is living in Maine now. So you’ll get to see him whenever you want.”
“Cool. Cody’s mom and dad got divorced and he moved to Florida so he doesn’t see his dad anymore.” He broke free from their hands and slid off the couch to play with his Legos.
“I’m not moving to Florida, CJ, unless you and your mom move too.”
“We’re moving to Florida?”
Her little boy’s mind didn’t stay focused for very long. It was a wonder how he kept it together at school. “No, sweetie. We’re staying around here. Colton is your dad and you’ll get to go places with him and spend time together.”
“Are you going to live here with us?”
Colton flinched. Step one was to let CJ know about Colton. Discussing their romantic relationship was step two and they weren’t ready for that yet.
They sat back on the couch, connecting their hands again as they admired their resilient son. “That was easy. I wonder how he’s going to handle Thanksgiving,” Colton leaned in and whispered, his breath warm and sweet against her cheek.
“Thanksgiving?”
“Yeah, I figured you’d both come over to my mom’s. She’s feeling left out as the only family member who hasn’t met CJ yet. You know she’s going to smother the poor kid.”
“I was planning on staying here. Having something simple and quiet.” Like she always did. Not by choice.
“Not a chance in hell my family would allow it. Besides, you can’t cook worth shi—crap.” Colton made sure CJ wasn’t listening. “My son is going to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I guess we should hire a lawyer to figure out custody and visitation rights.”
Ellie’s heart nearly stopped beating. Not once had she thought about the legal ramifications of sharing CJ. She didn’t want him pulled and fought over. “Can’t we take it one step at a time? Figure this out together?” She watched as CJ, clueless to the intense discussion happening five feet behind him, made a jet out of Lego pieces.
“He’s going to know what a big ass crazy family is like, Ellie. I’m not keeping him holed up in an isolated shell for the rest of his life,” he whispered angrily.
“I’m not isolating him. I want him to have family, but no one has ever wanted us.” Blinking back tears, she tore her hand out of his and rushed out of the room before CJ could see how she’d once again made a mess of everything.
What she’d told Colton was mostly true. Her parents had wanted her and CJ, but only in private. They refused to be seen with her pregnant belly or with her newborn son in the public eye. As long as they were ashamed of her, of CJ, Ellie wanted nothing to do with them.
Ellie busied herself in the kitchen making CJ a snack. His diet was so limited it had taken her over an hour to fill her grocery cart half-full with foods he could have. No more yogurt, gobs of peanut butter, or salty crackers and chips. Chocolate and dairy had to be limited too. She set a bunch of grapes on his plate and piled a piece of multi-grain bread high with turkey and a small piece of cheese. He’d ignore the cucumber she sliced for him but she’d set it out anyway.
Knowing Colton had to be hungry after the hours of work he’d put in, she made him a sandwich loaded with vegetables and meat. Maybe seeing his dad eat lettuce and tomato would encourage CJ to do the same.
She heard before she saw them. CJ giggled as Colton’s heavy footsteps chased after him. “You can’t find me!” CJ cried as he came running into the kitchen and hid behind Ellie, pulling on her jeans, peeking around her, shaking with giggles.
“Where are you, little guy? You’re not getting away with that.”
Colton entered the kitchen and immediately spotted CJ hiding behind her legs. He winked and pretended to look under the table, behind the trashcan, even inside the oven.
“Payback’s coming. You better hope you’re hiding somewhere real good.” As Colton inched nearer, CJ’s snickers grew louder and his grip on her pants tighter.
“What did he do?”
“We were playing catch and the little devil beamed me off the head.”
“It serves you right for playing ball in the house.” Ellie placed her hands on her hips, trying her best to hide her smile.
“Oh, really?”
She took a step backward, bringing CJ with her as Colton moved into her personal space. He cornered her and CJ against the cabinet.
“Really.” Ellie wouldn’t let his tall frame, his piercing eyes, or his smell—something between new dad and sexy hunk—intimidate her.
“Well, then,” he breathed, lowering his head, his words whispering across her neck. “I suppose I deserved it.”
Tingles of delight flooded her from head to toe and she leaned forward into his warm body.
“As if,” Colton snorted, reaching around her to grab CJ into his clutches. “You’re about to get owned.” He picked up a giggling CJ and held him under his arm as if he weighed nothing, marching toward the back door. “Let’s take this party outside.”
“Put me down! I’m going to pe
e! I’m going to pee!”
“Is that your way of saying uncle?” Colton paused, his hand on the doorknob.
“Uncle?
“Truce.”
“I have to pee.”
“This isn’t some ploy to get away?”
“I swear.”
Colton set him down gently and CJ scurried down the hall laughing, slamming the door to the bathroom behind him. “Think he’s faking it?”
“No. He’s had a lot of bladder issues. Makes sense now with his kidney disease.”
“Shit.” Colton thumped his head against the wall. “I wasn’t thinking.”
Ellie rushed to his side and placed her hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault. You were playing. He hasn’t had anyone to roughhouse with him since…ever. Max visits sporadically but it’s different. You’re good for CJ.” She removed her hand from his too-tempting skin and stepped back.
She tried to be everything for her son. Mother, father, teacher, nurse. Since his birth she’d smothered him with love and attention, played games with him, disciplined him, and taught him to be a kind, respectful, giving person. What she wasn’t, however, was a hero. All the insecurities from early motherhood revisited her in the past few weeks. She hadn’t questioned her parenting in a long time. And now, with Colton around, she doubted all of her decisions in the past.
“What’s wrong?”
Ellie shrugged and turned away. “Nothing.”
“Your body language says otherwise.”
“Can we play ball again?” CJ asked as he skipped into the kitchen.
“It’s time for lunch.” Ellie placed his and Colton’s plates at the kitchen table. “Did you wash your hands?”
CJ rolled his eyes and dragged his body back down the hall again.
Colton pointed toward the table. “Aren’t you eating?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten much lately.”
Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3) Page 17