The sliding door squealed open, letting in a gust of warm summer air. Even with the sun down, it was rather hot. It didn’t matter though. It was better than being stuck in there with everyone else. The overwhelming sadness was taking its toll on her. As she walked around the hospital grounds, the reality of her choice started to set in. Though it was the best choice for her family, it was killing her on the inside.
“Dreams can happen later. You don’t have to follow them as soon as your feet hit the ground,” she whispered, shuffling about and kicking loose rocks on the pavement.
Tears formed in her eyes, and part of her could feel her heart breaking. Sure, she could always go later, but part of her wondered if she would. Finding a tree, she crouched down to take a seat with her back against the trunk. Stars were twinkling bright in the sky, breaking through the streetlights. Small towns had a way of allowing them to shine brighter despite the few spots of unnatural light. Growing up, she had wished on those stars, praying for her dreams, but they had been the dreams of a child.
Her grandmother came out of the same door she had come out of earlier. The older woman pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. Lita’s mother soon followed. She wasn’t sure if they could see her hidden under the darkness of the tree, but she could certainly hear them.
“You know how Lita is. Once she makes up her mind, there is no stopping her. Lita isn’t going to leave, not now, and to be honest, we need her,” her mother said, lighting her own cigarette.
“I just feel so bad. This was her chance. The longer she stays here, the more likely it is she will never leave. You have seen it. We have all seen it,” her grandmother said.
Yeah, Lita had seen it too. So many people got stuck in this small-ass town. Even when they would leave, they would inevitably come back. Maybe she was just kidding herself to think she would get out.
“I know, and I want what is best for her. I didn’t ask her to stay. I wouldn’t ask her to stay. But I have a feeling it doesn’t matter. We will see how she feels in a few days after we get Daddy home.” The two women finished off their smokes, then hugged, and headed back into the hospital. No, Lita’s mind wouldn’t change. They needed her, but obligation didn’t make her feel any better.
Chapter 3
The last year had been hard. Alex had gone through the most rigorous training he could imagine and found a new home and brothers he had never thought to have. Things were going well, and he had been lucky enough to be stationed at the same base with Brandon, the first person he had met in training. But the biggest surprise had nothing to do with his marine training.
It was just after ITB, Infantry Training Battalion, when Alex met Clara Pierce. Brandon and he had gone out to a club to let off some steam after months of intense training. They were not the kids they had been when they started, but they were still young and wanted to have fun.
They had been there a couple of hours when she walked in. Brandon had seen her first and nudged him to make sure he would notice too. Alex noticed. He noticed her long golden hair and cherry lips, which were parted in an enchanting laugh. She had on a tight, short dress which hugged her curves perfectly.
“Damn, man! You going to go talk to her?” Brandon asked, jabbing him with his elbow.
“We are going to be shipping out soon. I really shouldn’t get involved with anyone.” Alex couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Dude, we have just gone through hellacious training, and we haven’t touched a woman in months. I know I am going to be looking for some comfort, especially if we are going be gone for a few years. It doesn’t hurt to go talk to her.” Brandon’s words hit something deep. Alex had left behind his girlfriend, his family, pretty much everyone. From early in his high school life, he had been very physical when it came to his relationships. It was hard to deny he had been missing female companionship.
“All right, I will go talk to her, maybe get a dance. But, I swear, I’m not in the market for anything long-term.” Alex took another drink from his soda then went to talk to the girl.
She didn’t seem to notice him at first, but as he got closer to the bar, she turned and gave him a devilish smile. “Can I buy you a drink?” Alex asked, sliding onto the stool next to hers.
“I’m just getting a Shirley Temple. Not old enough for a real drink yet.” The girl nodded to where the bartender was making her drink.
“Neither am I, but I don’t mind paying for your soda. I just wanted to come and talk to you. Maybe convince you to have a dance with me.” Alex smiled and then held his hand out to her. “My name is Alex Houston.”
“Clara, Clara Pierce.” She reached out and shook his hand, giving him a thorough once over. “Strong shake, military?”
“Yeah, marines. My friend over there and I just finished our training a couple of months ago.” He glanced over to Brandon and saw his friend was already talking to someone. Brandon was smooth and seeing him outside of the base was interesting. Everyone was different when they could let their guard down. Even though Brandon was rebellious and headstrong, it was nothing compared to what Alex was witnessing in the club. Tall, dark, and devilish, Bardon had no problem with stealing some hearts.
“Well, I think I can oblige you with a dance or two.” Clara took his hand, and Alex felt instant electric energy shoot up his arm. He had felt it before, but this time, it made him want to chase it.
Clara dragged him out on the dance floor and turned into him, pressing her body against his. He breathed in the sweet scent of her hair; it was fruity like peaches. Alex shivered as they started to move together. His hands encircled her waist, and they swayed together, pressed tightly, and it reminded Alex of how much he missed human connection.
***
Things had moved quickly between Alex and Clara. Probably faster than they should have, but he simply could not get her out of his head. Or hands. They had gone from one dance to some dates to being engaged. Now he was standing in the courthouse in his dress blues waiting for her to come in. They had opted for a simple courthouse wedding with a small family reception after.
There was only a couple of weeks until Alex shipped out, but Clara didn’t seem to care. She said the wait was worth a lifetime. It was probably crazy, them getting married after such a short time and even more so because of him leaving to go to war. But they had fallen fast, and hard. There was no stopping it now.
Clara came in a few moments later. She was wearing a simple white dress with a blue sash around her waist. Her hair was up in an elegant design, curled and decorated with gemstones and flowers. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her look more beautiful.
In her hand was a small bouquet of flowers. It was simple, but sometimes simple was more beautiful than anything extravagant. He held his hand out to her, and she took it with her free hand. The judge sat behind a desk, and when Alex and Clara stood in front of her, side by side, she started the proceedings. Clara’s mother, and his father were also in the room as witnesses. His father thought he had lost his mind, but he wasn’t going to miss the ceremony either.
Everything felt surreal. They went over the vows, and at the end, he got to kiss the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with. It was all short and sweet, but the finality was real. She was his wife, and he was married.
The reception was being held at the officer’s club on base, and his father had paid to cater it with finger foods and a small dry bar. “Do you think we are crazy?” Clara asked as he held her close, dancing to a soft, slow song.
“Probably, but that is what makes it so wonderful. I love you, Clara. When I think about my life, all I see is you by my side.” Alex answered, softly kissing the side of her lips. She still smelled like peaches and cream, sweet and enticing.
“I love you too. Please promise me you will come back to me. I don’t want to have gone through all of this and then lose you.” They hadn’t talked a lot about the reality of what could happen with him leaving.
“I’m going to come home. We have the rest of our lives
together, and I don’t plan to miss out on any of it.” Kissing her again, this time, he put more passion behind it. It was one of those perfect moments he was sure he would remember for the rest of his life.
They danced, and the dancing turned to boisterous partying. The parents and other family members disbursed, and the younger group, Alex and Clara’s friends, took over the dance floor. Brandon had snuck in some whiskey everyone had been adding to their drinks, and the dancing was wild and electric.
“Man, I remember when you said you had no desire to get involved in anything long-term,” Brandon said, patting him on the back and laughing.
“Yeah, I know, but I couldn’t let this one go. Something about her just … feels right.” Alex answered.
“Well, I hope you know what you are getting yourself into. This isn’t going to be easy after we leave in a couple of weeks. But I am happy for you,” Brandon added.
“Thank you. I am glad you were here for me.” Alex gave Brandon a bro hug, and the two of them returned to the party and danced the night away.
***
Alex wiped the tears from Clara’s eyes as they stood just outside of the air terminal. It was early, and they were about to board their flight to head overseas. The two of them had known this moment was coming, but it didn’t change how difficult it was to leave her.
She wrapped her shaking arms around his waist, and he breathed her in once more. He wanted to have that scent as the last memory he could take with him. Yes, he had every intention of coming back to her, but it was going to be a while. He wanted to make sure when he closed his eyes, he would still be able to smell her.
“Look, I love you, and I will be back as soon as I can,” Alex whispered, kissing her one last time before he had to pull away.
“I know, and I am so proud of you.” She took a step back as well, and Alex headed for the jet bridge where Brandon was waiting for him. Brandon patted him on the back, an action he had been doing for a long time as a show of comradery.
“Come on.” It was the only words Brandon said. Alex wanted to glace back one more time and get a last look at Clara, but he was afraid if he did it would make it that much harder for him to leave. Yeah, he would come back to her, but first, he had a duty to his country to serve. She knew that when she married him. They both did. It had been his dream to serve his country, and he took pride in it.
Chapter 4
Five Years Later
The faint sound of beeping echoed, pulling him out of his medicated sleep. Time had lost all meaning. It was one day, and many days all rolled into one. The attack had come out of nowhere leaving him and several of his friends and fellow soldiers on the ground and left for dead. There was a moment when he thought he would die; others had. It still haunted him even with all the medication being pumped into him.
They had sent him back stateside and put him in a hospital close to home. Well, at least the last home he had before being deployed again. Everything was still a blur, but he had seen his wife a time or two, sitting next to his bed. Once she was even holding his hand, but she had spent most of her time pacing and talking to doctors. It comforted him to know she was there even if he hadn’t been awake long enough to actually enjoy it. He wasn’t even sure what had happened. He was alive, that part he knew, but everything else was still a blur.
“So, he is gone. My husband is never going to be the same?” Clara asked. She sounded far away, and it made him wonder if this was just his soul leaving. Maybe he had died.
“There is always a possibility, but no, the damage is extensive, and we have done all we can. I am so sorry, but at least he came home to you.” Alex assumed that was the doctor, and he tried to shake off the haze and see what they were talking about. It was of no use. The weight of the medication was still so heavy, and he couldn’t pull himself out enough to respond. “Many of his companions were not so lucky.”
The frustrated sound in his wife’s voice left him worried, but once again, he was whisked away by the, drug-induced haze and sent into another deep slumber.
***
“Come on, Alex, you know you can do this.” As much as Alex wanted to enjoy the encouragement, after months of physical therapy, it just wasn’t doing it for him. Rehab was long and extensive work, and there were little results. Some days, painful tingling sensations would shoot through different parts of his body, making his muscles spasm. Other days, well, other days, he felt nothing at all. Once or twice, he was lucky enough to wiggle a toe or two, but movement was not coming at any pace which could be considered steady. It was exhausting.
Clara had been there by his side to support him, but part of him was starting to wonder if her patience was slipping. She loved him, but they were young, and Alex could see the strain his disability was putting on the relationship. He could no longer perform in a way that satisfied her, and all this was after he had been away off and on for years.
Alex wanted to do more. He longed to be the man she had married, but his physical damage was nothing compared to what his time in the Middle East had done to his mind. At night, he would wake up, sweating and flailing, screaming out for his friends who he was helpless to save. The memories of their empty eyes and dead bodies were ghosts, dancing around inside of him like living entities. It was the price of war; one he had known he would pay going into the marines. He just hadn’t realized how harsh the realization of it would be.
Pushing with all his mental strength, Alex tried to make his foot move. It wasn’t happening though. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get anything below his waist to function like it should. And the glimmers of hope had started to run thin. There were only so many times you could get excited over a toe wiggle before you started to question if it was just phantom movements.
“Look, I am getting a headache. I think we need to call it a day. Really, all I want to do is get some lunch and relax for a bit.” Alex sighed, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the woman who had been working with him for the last several months. Dr. Michelle Applewood was probably one of the best therapists in the state, but even her positive attitude couldn’t push him any farther.
She stood up from her crouched position and pulled her ponytail to tighten it before letting her long red hair swing behind her. She was tall, though it could have been relative since he was in a chair. Her features were small and slender, and her pale skin was dotted with freckles. Everything about her screamed ray of sunshine. But he was feeling stormy and was ready for a beer and some football.
“Okay, I can understand that. But I want to see you back on Thursday with a smile on your face and ready to work.” Dr. Applewood walked over to the desk and wrote up a reminder appointment card before handing it to Clara.
There was a stern look on Clara’s face, and he could tell she was disappointed in him … again. “Thank you so much, Doctor. You have been doing a great job.”
Alex rolled along right next to Clara out to the car. He had gotten good at moving about in his chair and helping load everything up. Clara, of course, had to put the chair in the car, but they were looking into getting him a vehicle which was more friendly to his condition.
“I just don’t understand why you aren’t putting more work into this, Alex. I thought you would want to get better and help us move on with our lives.” Clara sighed as she started up the car.
“Do you honestly think that I’m not trying? I work very hard and do everything they tell me. You have no idea what I am going through. I get that you are frustrated, but so am I, more than you know.” It was the same thing. She thought he had given up, and part of him wondered as well, but he hadn’t. He wanted to be happy and moving. It just wasn’t that easy. There was no magic drug that would make him better again.
“I just don’t feel like you are trying as hard as you could be. I know I will never understand what you went through, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want things between the two of us to get better. I miss you. I miss us.” She had said it before, but the defeated soun
d in her voice solidified where they were headed. She was going through the motions but only because it was expected of her. She didn’t really want to keep going, and Alex was starting to wonder if there was any way to save what they had.
“Maybe we should try seeing someone together. I already go to the doctor to talk about what happened and work on myself. Maybe you should come with me. They might be able to help us work through this. I don’t want this to be difficult on you, but there is only so much I can do.” Alex hoped his suggestion would help appease some of her frustrations.
The two of them sat in silence for several moments before Clara finally answered, “I guess we can give it a try. I’m sorry if I come off sounding like a bitch. I guess I am just lonely. I want to be more than just the woman who chauffeurs you around to doctor appointments.”
He could see the tears forming in her eyes, and it broke his heart. Yeah, he could understand how she felt about all of this, because he felt the same way. Being broken and a burden was not how he pictured his welcome home going.
“Why don't we go out tonight? We can have dinner, get drinks. I don't know. Maybe we can just do something normal.” Even though all he wanted to do was go home and be away from all the stress of people seeing him, if it would make Clara happy, he would be more than willing to put himself out there.
“No, let’s just go home.” She drove off without saying much more. Once again, Alex could feel their relationship falling apart.
“Don't you have a meeting later tonight?” Clara asked as they pulled into their neighborhood.
“Yeah. Brandon is coming to get me.”
Chapter 5
Lita pulled at the collar of her white button-up shirt and took another look in the mirror. Five years of school had led her to this moment. Her first interview with a real adult business. Sure, it was just for the reception job, but at least it wasn't serving pizza for tips.
Veteran Dreams (Forever Young Series) Page 2