by Scott, Shae
I'm trying, but when his body is close to mine I want to reach out and touch it. Now that I've surrendered to my desire for him it's hard to put a lid on it. And I need a lid. A really big one.
So, maybe this party was a bad idea. Kelsey has been giving me the I so know what's going on eye all night. I'm doing my best to ignore her while asking Annie questions that I know will send her into a rambling monologue. It’s best to just keep the attention off me and my wandering eyes.
The guys have started a huge fire in the fire pit and now that everyone is done eating we've cleared the picnic tables of everything but the desserts that Jessica brought. I'm hiding in the kitchen, needing a little bit of solitude. It's nice and quiet in here and I soak it up. Sometimes the crowds and laughter are still a bit overwhelming.
I move to wrap up a bowl of potato salad with plastic wrap when the back door opens. My eyes lock on Cole's as he comes in carrying a bowl of fruit salad from outside. I follow him with my gaze as he rounds the island and comes to stand directly behind me. I hold my breath waiting to see what he will do as he leans across me to set it down on the counter. We're alone and part of me wants to be daring and reach out to touch him.
I swallow hard and keep my hands busy, but he doesn't move away. I feel his body pressed up against my back, his warm breath on my neck. My own breath stutters as his hands land on my hips and pull me back to him, so close that I can feel him hard against me. The sound of laughter outside is muffled and faint as my entire focus becomes the scent and the feel of the man behind me.
"This not being able to touch you thing has me going crazy," he says, his voice low. "Watching you has me itching to grab you up and take you upstairs where I can lift up this pretty dress and slide deep inside you. Do you know how distracting that is? It's all I can think about."
I can't help but fall back against him. He makes me forget everything else. Everything except for what he is promising me right now. My body begs for him to make good on what he's suggesting. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if my body had its way I would lift my dress up right here, without any concern for who might come in.
Reckless is an easy choice when you are in the arms of the one who makes you feel safe.
"Think anyone would notice if we disappeared?" he asks against my neck. I can't think clearly enough to answer him, but I'm pretty sure the noise that escapes from deep in my throat answers for me.
He groans against my ear, his hands sliding up my legs, teasing my thighs. My breath catches and I grip the counter as his finger traces along the edge of my panties. Holy Shit. If he goes any further, I'm going to lose it.
"Or, I could just take you right here," he rasps.
I'm about to tell him to do whatever he wants when the sound of loud laughter approaches the back door. I recognize Annie's voice calling out to the people outside. I stand up straighter and I feel Cole take a step back. The sudden distance and the anticipation of Annie leaves my head spinning.
"What are ya'll up to?" she asks suspiciously. I see the teasing glint in her eye. She's been grilling me for weeks, trying to get the details of Cole and me. Waiting me for me to admit that there is more between us than the friendship we claim. I'm sure that the flush on my cheeks is a dead giveaway that she is right.
"Just helping James put away the fruit salad. You know how distracted she gets when she's in the kitchen," he smirks as he leans over me to grab a carrot from the veggie tray. I gulp as I watch him saunter out the back door.
I clear my throat and busy myself with putting plastic wrap over the leftover food.
"Why do I feel like I just walked into something way more interesting than food storage?" Annie eyes me, her stare drilling in looking for evidence.
"Because you have an amazing imagination," I mutter with a roll of my eyes.
"Uh huh. It's fine, Em. You just keep denying it, but you look more wound up than a jack about to spring his box.”
I laugh, her description is actually pretty accurate. I feel like I could snap at any moment. Snap to pieces as Cole breaks me apart.
"I'm going back outside. Feel free to stay here with your crazy theories," I smile as I move past her to the door. She laughs behind me knowing full well I'm avoiding her and her endless line of questions.
When I descend the back steps I feel Cole's eyes on me instantly. His gaze sears my skin and I start to think I might have been safer inside with Annie. But she's right behind me as she leans in to whisper, "Crazy theories huh? Too bad, cause that sexy man looks like he wants to rip your clothes off. Shame." And with that she walks off leaving me with my own mental fantasy about that very thing.
I avoid Cole as I take a seat on the edge of the crowd. I need to calm myself down because our time in the kitchen has left me all kinds of hot and bothered. But the longer that I sit here the more I realize that nothing is going to calm the ache but him. Only him. So when he comes to sit beside me on the double glider I can't help but smile like an idiot.
"It's okay if I join you?" he asks in that low husky voice that slides over my skin and heats it through.
"You can sit wherever you want," I smile sweetly.
"You sure about that? You've been avoiding me," he accuses.
"Have not," I protest.
"Really?" he challenges, his smirk tugging at his lips.
"Really."
"Hmmm, I thought maybe you were afraid I'd haul you off to do wicked things to your body," he says calmly as he takes a draw from his beer.
I swallow hard as the ache in my body ticks closer to unbearable.
"I wouldn't say afraid," I choke out. I smile as his eyes go wide before turning heated.
"Intrigued then?" he asks.
I shrug. I can try and play his sexy game, but I still feel a little bit out of my element.
"Interesting," he says. He shifts in his seat, crossing a leg over his knee.
After a few moments of silence, while we watch our friends continue their favorite debate the upcoming football season, I think he's going to drop it. But then, still staring straight ahead he says, "Meet me upstairs in five minutes." And just like that he stands and leaves. I watch in surprise as he dumps his beer in the garbage and strolls inside without a care in the world. I can't help but stare after him, my heart pounding. I want to jump up and run after him.
Five minutes. He said meet him upstairs in five minutes. Meet him for what? He can't be serious. We're at a party. People will know. It would be inappropriate. Still, the ache that has settled between my legs tells me to shut the hell up and follow him.
Of course I'm going to follow him.
It is the longest five minutes of my life. The chatter around me just heightens my nerves. I'm doing my best not to fidget, because I feel like it's giving me away. But I'm ready to bolt for the door to find him.
When enough time has gone by I get up as calmly as I can and start towards the door.
"Where ya goin' Em?" Annie asks. Shit.
"Little girl's room," I smile. Hoping she didn't notice that Cole has left too. She gives me a smile that tells me she sees straight through me, but I refuse to acknowledge it.
"Bring me a beer on your way out?" she asks.
"Sure," I agree. Ugh, I'm so obvious. I should just grab the beer and go back out and leave Cole to figure it out. My body isn't listening to my logic though. My feet are on a mission and it's to find him. Now.
It's dark upstairs, only the light of a night light illuminating the floor.
"Cole?" I whisper. Maybe he was kidding. He's going to laugh at me once he realizes I came all the way up here thinking he was serious. I'm mentally kicking myself and about to turn around when someone grabs my hand and pulls me into a darkened doorway. I yelp, but in an instant the door shuts and I'm pushed against it as a warm, familiar mouth descends onto my own causing me to groan.
"It took you forever to get up here," he says against my lips as his hands fist in my hair.
His touch is like fire. It wouldn't surprise me
if he had left his fingerprints branded on my skin. I wouldn't mind. Let him leave behind the evidence that I belong to him. We both know that I always have.
I suck in a ragged breath as his lips move across my neck. I'm thankful for his solid body pressing me into the hard wood, trapping me in this cloud of desire.
"You smell like gardenias. Always gardenia."
The only word I can manage is his name. It falls from my lips in breathy sighs.
Cole moves us and I realize that we are in the bathroom of all places. I can feel the counter behind me as he continues to leave hot kisses across my flesh. I grip his shirt wanting it gone. I need to feel his warm skin beneath my fingers, I need to kiss his perfect chest. He breaks away long enough for me to move it up and over his head.
He returns the favor by unzipping my dress and letting it fall to the floor. His hot skin on mine sends my blood to a full rolling boil. I need him.
He lets out a low growl as his fingers pull the lace cups from my breasts and his mouth covers the erect nipple. I start to cry out, but he covers my mouth with his to smother the sound.
My insides throb with need for this man. He clouds every sense and demands my full attention. His kiss deepens, his teeth nipping at my lips.
"Cole," I sigh as my hands travel along the hard lines of his body.
"Right here, baby," he says in a throaty whisper. His hands roam my body and when he dips his fingers under the material of my panties and slides it into my warm hot center I can’t help the moan of satisfaction that leaves my lips.
"Ssshhh. You have to be quiet or I'll have to stop. You don't want me to stop do you, James?" he asks kissing me again. I move against his hand, desperate for the friction that will send me over the edge. I am wound tight with need and I feel like I could crawl up his body to scratch this itch.
"Can you be quiet if I make you come, Emery?" he asks, his mouth against my ear, so sexy and so sultry that I might just come from his words alone.
"Yes," I breathe out although I have my doubts.
"Yeah?" he asks, rubbing his thumb across my clit. I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out, but it feels so good and I don't want him to stop. Personally, at this moment I don't know that I'd care if someone came in to this very room and caught us.
"What if I go further? Can you be quiet if I fuck you right here?"
I groan, needing him more in this moment than I've needed anything before.
"Oh God, please." I have lost my shit. All I can think about is having him inside me right now. I hear the rip of fabric and barely register that he has torn my panties from my body. I don't even care because I hear the release of the buckle from his jeans and I'm being lifted up to the counter and before I can get my bearings he's sliding deep inside me, stretching me and filling me in the most delicious way.
Soon we are all arms, hands and tongues, gripping and clawing at one another in an effort to get closer, to quiet the need raging between us. I don't think it will happen. This isn't something that can quiet - it's too great and I'm more than happy with that. I don't ever want this feeling to stop.
It doesn't take long, his rough voice in my ear, his gentle commands to watch my volume while he does his best to make me scream anyway, have me on the brink of bliss quickly.
"Cole, I'm going to come," I say in warning because if he wants me to keep quiet he's going to have to drown out my inevitable cries. But as he pumps harder I fear that we will both detonate and there will be no one in control of this moment.
But then his throaty voice assures me that he's got me and he reaches between us and rubs his thumb across the sensitive bud and I go off, instantly and violently. His mouth descends on my own, swallowing my moans as he continues to move within me riding out my orgasm before taking his own release. When he finally let's go I feel him warm inside as his body quakes against mine.
It takes a long time for us to drift back to earth and even longer for our breathing to settle around us, bringing us back to the reality that is this tiny bathroom.
"Holy shit, baby," he heaves against me, our bodies sticky from heat and exertion. I'm pretty sure if he let go of me I would sink to the floor and fall into a deep, satisfied slumber. I can't even pull words together to respond to him or even agree with him. Although I'm pretty sure the loopy look in my eyes and way my limbs are moving around limply of their own accord, like one of those giant wind puppets at the car dealership, would be a clue.
"I'm going to let go of you for a minute. I need to get you something so we can clean you up," he says, breaths still a little shallow. He pulls out of me slowly and his absence is felt immediately. He takes my shoulders and guides me towards the commode, sitting me down on the lid. I watch as he finds a washrag and runs warm water over it.
When he's done he shuffles back to me, his pants still stuck around his shoes. He leans down in front of me giving me the sweetest smile, my favorite Cole smile and he kisses my nose.
"You doing okay?" he asks quietly.
I nod, "More than okay."
His hand lands on my knee and he gently nudges them open so he can run the cloth up my thighs to clear away the evidence of our romp.
"You're going to have to go commando the rest of the night," he says sheepishly. "Are you mad?"
It takes me a moment to remember that he did indeed rip the fabric from my body in his haste. I can't be mad about it though. For moments like that I'll take out stock in Victoria's Secret so he can do it every single day.
"No. It was worth it," I assure him. He kisses me again, this time on my lips and it's a gentle reminder of what just happened and a promise for later. I'm not sure how I made it through so many years without him. How did I ever walk away from him? From this?
"You look so beautiful right now," he says quietly. And the way he is looking at me, I believe him.
Once he finishes with me he does a quick cleanup of himself and then puts his pants back on before bringing me my dress. He jerks his head up in a gesture to get me to put my hands up and he slides the dress over my head. I've got my strength back and I could easily do it myself, but I like him dressing me. It makes me feel treasured. I steal a kiss when he leans in to zip the dress putting me back together and making me presentable to face our friends again.
"You think they heard us?" I ask as he pulls me to my feet, running his hands over my hair to tame the mess of sex chaos that it has surely become.
"Nah," he assures me. Whether he means it or not, I choose to believe him. I refuse to worry about it if they did. Moments like these are worth the risk.
"You ready to go down? I can go first if you want?" he offers.
"Okay," I agree. Even though staying up here in this tiny bathroom doesn't sound so bad either.
"Wait a few minutes before you follow," he says even though we both know we aren't really fooling anyone. At least anyone who is paying attention. But we'll continue the charade. He grabs up the ripped fabric of my panties and shoves them into his pocket with a glint in his eyes. He kisses me once more, this time with a little more heat and promises to see me downstairs.
He shuts the door behind him and I finally take a deep breath. I take a moment to inspect myself in the mirror. I look pretty much the same as I did when I came in here, except my cheeks are flushed and there is a slight glaze in my eyes, but I think I can pull off normal. I'll have to avoid Kelsey though; she'll be on to me in two seconds.
I stare into the eyes of the girl in front of me, it almost feels like I'm staring at someone else, the new version of me that I can't always keep up with. I like her though, I like her spirit.
I make my way downstairs listening closely for voices inside, but all I can hear is the laughter and commotion coming from outside by the fire. I take a deep breath before stepping out onto the back deck. I subconsciously hold my skirt down on the off chance that a gust of wind comes along and reveals my business to everyone.
Cole is standing by his friends, sipping a beer and he catches my eye as
I move towards the crowd, but he doesn't wave or acknowledge me. At least not where anyone else can see. Just as I get to my seat, congratulating myself for pulling off a perfect casual return to the party Annie calls out to me with a shit eating grin on her face.
"Hey, Em -- Did you forget my beer?"
Shit. So close.
Cole
THERE HAS BEEN A definitive shift between Emery and me. One that we aren't speaking out loud, but one that is very real. To the outside world we are friends. I'm simply the old boyfriend who is helping her settle into her new life. I'm the good guy. The good friend.
And all of that is true. That hasn't changed. But ever since that first night together it's been different. The pull is too great to bury it under good intentions. I can't hide the way I feel about her and I've stopped trying. She deserves to feel wanted. She deserves to feel loved. Completely. Unconditionally. Gabe took a lot of that away from her and I'm determined to give it back. And by some miracle she’s letting me. She’s not questioning it; she’s not pulling away. She’s letting go and letting it all in.
I've always loved Emery James. She took my heart before I even knew I had one to give. But the way I've fallen in love with Emery Forrester -it's new. It's the kind of love you never recover from. The kind you never want to be without. It’s the kind of love that changes your life. The kind of love that defines it.
And I have. . .Fallen in love with her. It's in my bones. I feel it with every breath. It doesn’t feel fast or sudden, just inevitable. Maybe because I already loved her, part of my heart already belonged to her. The new feelings just built upon a foundation that was already there. Whatever the reason, I am in deeper than ever. Probably deeper than I should be considering where she is in her life right now.
But I don’t mind waiting for her to catch up. I can wait it out and be here once the final scar heals. I'll be the balm that sooths her, the love that heals her. Because what I know is that she was meant to find her way back to me. We were meant to find our way back to each other.