“I can’t blame you for what you didn’t intend.” Grayson pulled up in front of Honor’s house and turned off the car. “Besides, Jake was right. Rushing blind after someone who could have been carrying a weapon wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“And insisting I come with you wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“It seems neither of us are at our brightest tonight.” Grayson’s fingers brushed Honor’s arm, coming to rest on her shoulder. His hand smelled of spicy cologne and cold winter nights, the scent masculine and compelling.
“Fatigue does funny things to people. Stealing their reasoning skills is just one of them.” Honor knew she should get out of the car, go in the house and put the night behind her. Grayson’s touch was light enough that she could move away, yet so comforting that she didn’t want to.
“And can it make them imagine things?” He stared into her face, his expression unreadable, his eyes dark and somber.
“Like what?” She took a deep breath, trying to clear her thoughts and only succeeding in inhaling more of Grayson’s scent. Her pulse throbbed in response, her skin heating.
“Like how soft your skin would be if I touched it?” His fingers skimmed down her cheek. “Because I’ve been imagining it all the way home. And you know, my imaginings didn’t even come close to the reality of it. Your skin is soft as silk and warm as morning light.”
“Grayson…” Her voice trailed off as his hand slipped beneath the hair at the nape of her neck, his fingers kneading the tender flesh there.
“Like you said, Honor, fatigue can do funny things to people. Maybe that’s what’s going on here. Or maybe something else is. And maybe that something needs to be explored.” His lips barely grazed hers, and Honor’s heart jumped, her pulse racing in acknowledgment. She’d forgotten the feel of a man’s touch. The firmness of a man’s lips pressed against hers. She’d forgotten how rational thoughts could fly away. How easily her defenses could be breached.
She backed away from Grayson, fumbling for the door handle. “I need to get inside. Good night, Grayson.”
She hopped out of the car, racing up the porch stairs and into the house, running from things she didn’t want to feel, from disappointments she didn’t want to remember and from the man who seemed intent on dragging her back into the kind of relationship that could only lead to a broken heart.
FIFTEEN
The sun rose in fits and starts, first hidden by clouds, then revealed in golden beauty only to be hidden again. It reminded Honor of her life. The good and bad of it. The difficulties that were always followed by something wonderful. She stood on the back stoop, sipping a steaming cup of coffee and staring over the backyard, letting the cold autumn air swirl around her and watching as the sunlight peeked from the clouds and retreated again. Gold. Pink. Gray. Blue. There was no better place to be at dawn than outside. The silence, the peace, always made Honor feel closer to her Creator.
And right now, she desperately needed to feel that He was near.
She’d slept poorly again. Thoughts of the stalker had made it difficult to close her eyes. Thoughts of Grayson had made it difficult to keep them closed. She’d come to Lakeview with hopes of the kind of life she’d been dreaming of for years. What she’d gotten was something else entirely.
But maybe that was the point. Maybe her plan hadn’t been God’s. Maybe this was His way of showing her that. She could move back to St. Louis. There were plenty of nursing jobs there.
“But I don’t want to, Lord. This place feels like home, and it’s been a long time since anything has felt that way.”
“Mommy?” Lily peered out from the open back door, her cheeks still flushed from sleep, her dark ringlets bouncing around her cheeks.
“What are you doing awake, my sweet?”
“Looking for you. I needed to tell you something.”
“Something good?” Honor walked the few steps back to the house and shrugged out of her coat, letting it drop around her daughter’s shoulders.
“No. Something scary.” Lily’s eyes filled with tears, and Honor pulled her into her arms.
“What is it, Lily Mae?” Fear made Honor’s heart slam against her ribs and her arms tighten around her daughter.
“I saw the dragon last night.”
Honor almost sagged with relief at the words. “Did you?”
“Yes. He was looking in the window while I was sleeping.”
“If you were sleeping, how do you know he was looking in the window?”
“Maybe I wasn’t sleeping. Maybe I was looking out the window.”
“And why would you be doing that?”
“I wanted to see if Mr. Prince was home.”
“You mean Mr. Sinclair.”
Lily nodded, her blue gaze darting to Grayson’s house.
“And this was after Candace put you in bed?”
“Yes.”
“Lily, you know the rule. No getting out of bed after you’ve been put in it.”
“I know, Mommy.” She paused, placing her hand against Honor’s cheek, her palm small and warm and too sweet for words. “But I was missing you, and I just wanted to see if Mr. Sinclair was home because that would make me less lonely.”
“Candace was home with you. There was no need to be lonely.”
“But Candace can’t fight dragons.” Lily said it as if it made perfect sense. To her it probably did.
“So you looked out the window and saw a dragon. Where was it? Near the swing set?”
“No. He was right there. Right near the window.” Lily pointed toward the window, and a chill raced up Honor’s spine. Had the stalker been outside her window again?
“What did he look like?”
“Black. And he breathed red fire.”
“Fire?”
“Yes. Right at me.”
“Oh my. That does sound scary.” The more she heard, the less Honor believed that her daughter had actually seen something, but she set Lily down in the mudroom and retrieved her coat anyway. “Tell you what. You go get a juice box from the fridge while I go look for dragon prints.”
“I want to come with you.” Lily grabbed the hem of Honor’s coat and seemed determined to hold on. Usually, Honor would have ignored her daughter’s antics, but there was a frantic quality to them today that she couldn’t disregard.
“All right. Put your coat and boots on and we’ll go out together.” She waited while Lily tugged on the fluffy pink coat she loved so much and shoved her sockless feet into snow boots. Her pink flannel nightgown fell to the floor, and Honor decided it would keep her warm enough for the few minutes it would take to check for footprints beneath the window. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
“So, let’s go exploring.”
Clouds were covering the sun again as Honor led her daughter to the area beneath the window, the gray morning chill suddenly seeming more sinister than peaceful. Beneath the window, dry grass and weeds were matted down, but the entire yard was like that and Honor found nothing alarming at the sight. Frozen earth revealed no sign that someone had stood there, but Honor leaned close anyway, searching for some sign that what Lily had seen was more than imagination.
“Do you see any, Mommy? Do you see dragon prints?” Lily’s whispered question was loud enough to send a squirrel racing up a tree, and despite her worry, Honor smiled.
“All I see is brown grass and weeds and dirt.”
“That’s because dragons fly. Maybe the dragon last night was flying. Maybe he didn’t put his feet on the ground.”
“Lily, I don’t think you saw a dragon last night. At least not one that was breathing fire and flying.”
“I did see him, Mommy. I really did.”
Honor bit back a sigh of frustration. Whatever Lily had or hadn’t seen, there had not been a dragon in the yard. “Maybe you saw something else.”
“I saw a dragon. So tonight I want you to stay home. Okay? That way you can call Mr. Sinclair to come slay it if it
comes back.”
“You know I can’t stay home tonight. People at work depend on me to be there.”
“I depend on you, too, Mommy.” Lily stared up into her eyes, her heart-shaped face and chubby cheeks making her look like a dark-haired cherub. Innocent. Sweet.
A child who needed her mother more than she needed anything else.
Honor rubbed the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension there. It was hard enough to leave her daughter every night. Having Lily beg her to stay just made it that much more difficult.
“Come here and sit on the swing with me.” She lifted her daughter, ignoring the pain that speared through her lower back from too much time on her feet and too much tension.
She eased down onto one of the old swings, wincing a little as her muscles protested. Lily snuggled close, her head under Honor’s chin, her arms wrapped around her neck. It wouldn’t be long before Lily was too big to be held like this. A few years. A few inches. A few pounds. The little girl would be big. She wouldn’t need Honor as much. And just like Candace, she’d begin to grow away. When that happened, Honor would be truly alone.
That was the way life was, and Honor knew it shouldn’t hurt so much to think about. She pressed a kiss onto Lily’s head, breathing in baby shampoo and innocence. “Did I ever tell you that when I was a little girl, I thought a troll lived under my bed?”
Lily shook her head, but seemed content not to speak. It was possible her fears had made her night as rocky as Honor’s.
“Well, I really thought one did. Every night I’d climb into bed and hide my head under the covers because I was so afraid that the troll would come out. One day, I told Grandmom about the troll, and do you know what she said?”
“What?”
“She said there were no such things as trolls, but if there were, God’s love was so big that when it was in a room, it chased everything else away. She said that since God loved me and was always with me, I never had to worry about trolls or anything else hiding in my room.”
“But the dragon wasn’t in my room. It was outside.”
“There was no dragon outside, Lily. But sometimes there are scary things in the world. And you know what? God’s love is so big that it can chase all those things away. Which does not mean that you should wander outside alone like you did the other day.” She tickled Lily’s belly, smiling as her daughter giggled.
When her giggles died away, Lily shifted in Honor’s lap and stared into her eyes. “But God’s love can’t chase you away. Right, Mommy?”
“God’s love only chases bad things away. When something is good, His love adds to it. And my love for you is very, very good. His love only makes mine stronger.”
“And Candace’s?”
“Of course.”
“And Mr. Sinclair’s?”
“Well, he doesn’t know you very well yet, but if he did, I’m sure he’d love you, too.”
“Of course I would. Lily is a very lovable little girl.”
At the sound of Grayson’s voice, Honor’s heart skipped a beat. She whirled toward him, releasing her hold on Lily who was frantically trying to escape. Grayson stood a few feet away, near the shrubs that separated their property. Dressed in dark slacks, a white button-down shirt, a tie and a sports coat, he was immaculate, masculine and ready to face whatever the day brought.
Honor resisted the urge to smooth her flyaway hair or pull her coat tighter over her old cable-knit sweater and soft, faded jeans. “Grayson, I didn’t hear you coming.”
“Yeah. We’ll have to talk about that another time.” He met her eyes, and she knew what he was thinking—that she’d been foolish to come outside alone when a stalker was on the loose. She didn’t agree. She’d been safe enough.
Until now.
Grayson’s eyes narrowed as if he knew what she was thinking, and then he smiled. Full-out and charming, his teeth gleaming white, before turning his attention to Lily who was staring up at him as if Prince Charming had walked out of one of her fairy-tale books.
“Mr. Sinclair! Guess what?”
“What?”
“I saw a dragon last night. And he breathed fire and everything.” Lily told her story in a voice loud enough to scare birds from the trees, but Grayson didn’t seem to mind. He waited until she finished, then crouched in front of her and took both her hands in his. “I have a friend who might want to hear your story. Will you share it with him if your mom says it’s okay?”
“Is he a prince?”
“No, but he loves stories.”
“Okay.” Lily bounced away, twirling in the gray morning light, her coat the only bright spot in the dreary yard.
“She’s a cute little girl.” Grayson lowered himself onto the swing next to Honor’s.
“With a wild imagination.”
“It may not have been her imagination.”
“I know.” Honor’s throat tightened around the words, the fear she’d been trying to hold at bay rearing up and pulling her in.
“I want to bring Jake out here later. Let him listen to Lily’s story. He’s got a little girl. He might get kid-speak better than I do.”
“All right.”
“And I want you to stay in the house unless someone is with you.” He glanced at Lily who was hopping up and down the back stairs. “And I don’t mean a four-year-old.”
“You’re not going to tell me I shouldn’t have come out here this morning, are you?”
“What good would that do? You’re already out here. Besides—” he leaned over and brushed hair from Honor’s eyes, his gaze pulling her in, making her forget for a moment just how dangerous he was “—when I saw you and Lily out here it gave me an excuse.”
“For what?” She asked even though she knew his answer was one she didn’t want to hear.
“To see you again.” The words hung in the air between them. Huge. Impossible to ignore.
But Honor would ignore them, because if she didn’t, she’d have to admit that she’d been just as interested in seeing Grayson again. “And do you often go see neighbors at seven in the morning?”
“Only when they’re already out in their yards. Though, I’ve got to say, it’s a little cold out for visiting this morning.”
Don’t invite him in for coffee.
Do. Not. Invite. Him in.
Even as her mind shouted the words, Honor’s mouth was opening and she found herself saying, “I’ve got a pot of coffee on. Would you like a cup?”
Grayson glanced at his watch and frowned. “I’d love to, but I’ve got a meeting at nine. I’ve got to grab some breakfast and get over to my parents’ rental before then.”
“I’ve got biscuits ready for the oven, and I’m making omelets. Why don’t you join us for breakfast?”
What?
Had she lost her mind? Not only had she invited him for coffee, but now she was offering breakfast.
He wouldn’t accept, of course. He’d already said he was busy. He’d head back to his house and Honor would go inside with Lily, and she’d never, ever do something so foolish again.
“Biscuits and an omelet sound great. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in weeks, but I don’t want to impose.”
“Pardon me?” Honor pulled her thoughts back to the conversation, not sure how the morning had gotten so completely out of her control. All she’d wanted was a few minutes of peace as the sun rose. What she was getting was trouble with a capital T.
“I said that I’d love to accept your offer, but I don’t want to impose.”
“If it was an imposition, I wouldn’t have offered.” She blurted out the words, knowing she sounded ungracious.
Grayson didn’t seem to care. He stood, his light brown hair falling over his forehead, his eyes such a clear blue that it almost hurt to look in them. Clean-shaven, dressed for his meeting, he looked like exactly what he was—a successful, confident man. A man most women would be happy to invite for a meal.
Honor wasn’t as enthusiastic, and it wasn’t because sh
e didn’t see all the qualities in Grayson that other women would. It was because she did see them, and the more she saw, the deeper she fell. Soon, she’d be so deep that there’d be no climbing out.
“Then I guess I’ll accept and not feel bad about it.” He offered a hand, and Honor accepted, allowing him to tug her to her feet. She expected him to release his hold, but he just shifted his grip, linking fingers with hers as they walked to the back door.
She knew she should pull away, but somehow she found herself walking along with Grayson, enjoying the feeling of companionship his presence brought.
“Come on, Lily Mae. We’re going to have some breakfast.”
“With Mr. Sinclair?” Lily skipped up beside them, and grabbed Honor’s other hand. Linked together, they walked up the back stairs and into the mudroom. To an outsider, they’d look like a family. Mother, father, child, heading back into the house after enjoying the sunrise together.
Of course, they weren’t and just thinking in that direction made Honor uncomfortable.
She tugged away from Grayson’s hold and stepped into the kitchen. “Go ahead and have a seat, Grayson. Everything will be on the table in ten minutes. Lily, go wash your hands and put on the clothes I laid out for you. But do it quietly. Candace is still asleep.” She grabbed the apron her mother had always worn when she was cooking, the bright green one that had been handed to Honor the day she married Jay, and tied it around her waist, ignoring Grayson’s raised eyebrows.
“What kind of omelet would you like?”
“What kind were you planning on making?”
“Vegetable. Peppers, onions and mushrooms.” She pulled ingredients from the refrigerator and set them on the small counter.
“Sounds perfect to me. Can I help?” Instead of sitting at the table, he moved close, his chest brushing against her back as he leaned over to see what she was doing.
Honor’s cheeks heated, her mind jumping back to the years when Jay had been alive. He’d always been content to read the paper while she cooked and had teased her good-naturedly when she wore her apron. It had been easy to have him in the kitchen, but Grayson was another story altogether.
The Protector's Promise (The Sinclair Brothers) Page 12