by Lauren Smith
Copyright © 2017 Maggie Dallen
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Created with Vellum
Chapter One
Lydia’s hand remained steady as she poured another cup of tea. Propositioning a man was a first for her, but she’d handled it with remarkable grace, if she did say so herself. Now that it was done, perhaps the nervous churning in her stomach would calm down enough for her to enjoy the spread her housekeeper had provided for the occasion. Not that Ms. Hubbard knew she was preparing to propose marriage this afternoon, of course, but she seemed to have gathered that Captain Wainwright’s visit was not just another social call.
She could feel the weight of Gabriel’s stare as she set down her cup. Forcing her eyes back up, she met his gaze. Drat. His dark brown eyes still had the power to frazzle her nerves. He’d always been too handsome for his own good, as far as she was concerned, despite the ever-present frown that seemed to deepen whenever she was around.
But that was exactly why he would be the perfect husband. She neither wanted, nor needed, a man who doted on her. Or, God forbid, one who loved her. She shuddered at the thought and the small movement seemed to pull him out of his trance.
His voice was low and gravelly, as always. “You want me to do what?” As if he hadn’t heard or did not understand, when she had laid out her request and reasonings so clearly.
Beastly man. Of course he would make her repeat it, as if once was not enough.
“I thought I made myself quite clear.” She clasped her hands in her lap and took a deep breath. “I require a husband and I think you would do nicely.”
He shook his head before running a hand through his permanently mussed hair. Large and burly, Gabriel would have looked out of place sitting on her pale pink settee no matter what the occasion. But given the circumstances, he bore a striking resemblance to a bear she had seen at a fair. The owner had dressed it in a frilly dress and the poor thing had glared at her through its cage bars exactly as Gabriel was doing just now.
“You are joking.” He said it as a definitive statement, yet she answered it as a question.
“Of course I’m not. I would never joke about the sacred institution of marriage.”
His eyes narrowed on her with suspicion. She couldn’t blame him for his lack of enthusiasm, she supposed. He’d made it quite clear over the years that he never intended to marry. But then, neither had she. It was only necessity that drove her to it now, as she found herself explaining for the second time. “I have no desire for a traditional marriage,” she said slowly, deliberating speaking to him as though he were a child.
She couldn’t help it. He irritated her, so it was only fair that she return the favor. Sure enough, his eyes narrowed even further at her patronizing tone as she continued. “Since you also don’t want a traditional marriage—”
“I don’t want any marriage.” His low growl might have intimidated another woman but she’d known Gabriel since she was a little girl and well enough to know that his bark was infinitely worse than his bite.
She continued as if he hadn’t interrupted. “I think you would agree that it would do well for your position in the army if you had a wife. I know for a fact the general has been attempting to set you up with one of his daughters—”
“How do you know about that?” Some of his anger had ebbed in the face of shock.
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Really, her brother’s best friend never ceased underestimating her. Of course she knew the gossip. General Watters’ was the adopted father of her beloved sister-in-law, which made him something of a grandfather figure in her life. Besides, the general’s youngest daughter, Vivian, was one of her dearest friends. What she couldn’t learn from the general during his visits, she almost certainly found out from Vivian.
“Did the general tell you that?” Gabriel demanded.
Lydia sipped her tea, watching him steadily over its rim. A good spy never revealed her sources. When she set her teacup down, she cleared her throat. “As I was saying, your situation would only improve with a wife—” She held up a hand to stop him from interrupting. “With a certain type of wife.”
He let out a derisive snort, which she ignored.
“Even if it didn’t make the general happy, it would put an end to the matchmaking attempts from him and all the desperate mothers who keep hoping to pin you down.”
His scowl deepened but he didn’t try to argue that point. He couldn’t. She’d heard him complain to her brother, Daniel, often enough. There was not point denying it. “What would you get out of it?”
She blinked rapidly, temporarily distracted by the light, fluttery feeling of hope that blossomed in her chest. Could it be possible that he was considering her offer? Taking a deep breath, she folded her hands in her lap. She was getting ahead of herself. He had hardly agreed to it yet. “I would get my freedom.”
Even the word brought a rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Freedom was what she’d always wanted. But now freedom was what she needed if she stood a chance of saving her brother and sister-in-law.
Gabriel was studying her closely and she clamped her lips together to keep from saying more than she ought. The trick with Gabriel was to keep her distance. Stay detached. If she tried too hard to win him, he would surely say no. And if he thought for one second that she still harbored a silly, childish crush on him, he would run away so quickly her head would spin.
No, she had to handle this with maturity and grace. Show him she was no longer the lovesick little girl who used to chase after him when he came home to visit with her brother. She was a grown woman, and one with an agenda of her own.
Sure enough, Gabriel tugged at his cravat as he cleared his throat. “Lydia, you and I discussed this a long time ago—”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Gabriel. I’m not still pining away for you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He had the good grace to shift uneasily in his chair at that accusation. Because that was what he was going to bring up, she had no doubt. It seemed her silly crush would never be forgotten. Between her brother, Gabriel, and their other close friend, Wren, she was constantly being reminded of what a fool she’d made of herself.
In her defense, she had been ten years old. A mere child. Of course she had outgrown those silly feelings.
Liar. The butterflies in her stomach begged to differ. As did her racing pulse whenever he walked into a room. Perhaps she hadn’t quite conquered her ridiculous reaction around this man, but that did not mean that she had to act on it. Wasn’t that what it meant to be an adult? One chose which emotions one acted upon.
Lydia resolutely ignored the fluttering in her belly, just as she took deep breaths to calm her heartbeat. There. All better. But Gabriel still did not look convinced so she told him the God’s honest truth. “If you don’t marry me, I’ll find someone else who will.”
That did it.
His gaze darkened dangerously. “Who?”
She reached her cup and gave a small shrug. “I don’t know yet. Someone else who I can count on to grant me my freedom.” That was a lie. She knew exactly who her backup husband would be and the thought disgusted her to the point that she set her tea back on the table, unable to swallow. If she had the luxury of time, she might have been able to come up with a better alternate plan, but time was of the essence and she could not afford to wait for the perfect man to come along.
Gabriel already knew her. He was well aware of the trainings she’d undergone and her particular skillset. While he might have been overprotective, he would agree to let her live her own life. He would never expect her to keep house and play hostess. She would be free to come and go at all hours, unchaperoned and unrestrained.
Sh
e watched him rub a hand across his face and heard his weary groan. “Lydia, I don’t know where you’ve gotten this idea that you are imprisoned.”
She didn’t bother to argue. Gabriel was many things, but he was not a woman. She couldn’t expect him to fully understand the kind of restrictions and limitations society had placed upon her sex. Besides, she’d already laid out her reasons for choosing him as her husband. First and foremost, he knew her. Really knew her, unlike most of the men of her acquaintance. He also knew her brother and sister-in-law and, more importantly, their secret. Daniel and Madeline had been spying as a couple since they’d met and married ten years before and they had trained her to follow in their footsteps. Granted, Daniel’s participation in her training had been reluctant. He did not actually want her to follow in his footsteps but after much pleading and some effective convincing from Madeline, he agreed that as a member of a household where two out of three were spies for the crown, it would behoove them all if she were able to protect herself.
Once he had given in on that front, it had been easy to persuade him to teach her all angles of espionage, not just self-protection.
Few knew of her training, of course. To the rest of the world, she was a proper young lady. The kind, devout sister to a reputable land owner. But now, much to her regret, she was also a proper young lady of a marriageable age. Which meant she had lost the freedom that came with being a child, without the benefits of adulthood. Her every move was watched and criticized as an unmarried woman and she couldn’t go anywhere without a chaperone.
She’d made do these past few years, slipping out under the cover of darkness or using Madeline as a chaperone, but now… Well, now circumstances had changed. There was no way she could help her family while staying home darning socks and embroidering pillows. Or whatever other menial chores she was supposed to attend to as the single, soon-to-be spinster of the house.
For all these reasons, Gabriel was her ideal candidate as a husband. He knew her proclivities and had never shown judgement. Unlike Wren, who also knew her secret, Gabriel had never expressed interest in courting or marriage.
And those are the only reasons you want Gabriel for a husband?
She hushed the irritating little voice that taunted her. This proposal had nothing to do with her former, ridiculous crush and everything to do with practicality.
His posture changed slightly as he studied her. It took all of her concentration to keep her expression blank and her body language neutral. He was trying to read her.
Only then did it occur to her that the best reason to enlist him as her husband was also the biggest detriment.
He knew her.
Sure enough, after a moment he leaned forward on the settee until his knees brushed against hers. “What is this really about, Lydia?”
Forcing her eyes to grow wide with feigned innocence, she started to answer, “I already told you, I need—”
“Yes, but why me? Why now?” Even as he asked, she saw understanding dawn in his eyes. Drat. “This is about Daniel and Madeline, isn’t it?”
Hearing their names spoken aloud managed to steal some of her bravado. Pressing her lips together to keep her composure, she drew in a deep breath to steady her nerves. Now was not the time to turn into a silly, simpering little girl.
Something dangerously close to pity filled his gaze. Sympathy from anyone would have been abhorrent, but seeing that rare show of tenderness in rock-steady Gabriel—it was almost more than she could bear.
She didn’t answer, too afraid that her voice would tremble. Of course this was about Daniel and Madeline. They had gone missing weeks ago and no one was doing a damned thing about it.
His sigh was weary but not unkind. “We’ve been over this, Lydia. Daniel wouldn’t want you to get involved. I’m certain he and Madeline are just deep undercover and—”
“No.” She stood up so abruptly she nearly knocked over the tea tray. “Don’t give me that rubbish. That’s what General Watters said too, but you know as well as I do that Daniel and Madeline always find a way to let me know they are all right. Always.”
Anger and frustration had her trembling but she clasped her hands together so Gabriel would not notice. She had hoped that the general would help her. As Madeline’s adopted father as well as their employer, he had been the first person she’d contacted when Daniel and Madeline failed to get in touch during their latest mission.
Months ago they had brought Lydia up north, posing as a merchant family, when they were really under orders to keep tabs on the rabble rousers who were threatening protests and strikes. It was an industrial county and from what Lydia could gather, a good portion of the local working people were unhappy with their circumstances in light of the latest economic downturn. It wasn’t the first time her family had been sent to an area where there was turmoil among the classes.
Ever since the war had ended, there had been unrest and dissatisfaction within Britain and, without a foreign enemy to ferret out, Daniel and Madeline had been assigned to spy on their own countrymen. It had all been very standard. A hum-drum assignment, Daniel had called it.
But that was before they’d gone missing.
At first she’d assumed, like the general, that they had gone silent to keep their true identities a secret. But after days passed with no word, no hidden code, no clues whatsoever, she’d sent the general a note.
The general had replied to her concerned letter with an abrupt and condescending response. We must assume they have gone underground, he’d said. Their silence was to be expected. It was common protocol, etcetera.
She bit back an oath at the memory of that callous note. What an infuriating old man. Of course she understood protocol, but what the general seemed incapable of understanding was that the Ashford family had its own protocol.
A carriage accident had left Daniel her sole guardian long ago, and he’d raised her on his own until Madeline entered their lives and became the mother figure she’d been missing. Since they were both in a dangerous line of work, Daniel and Madeline had developed a system in which they could be there for Lydia whilst still working for the crown. They had raised her to understand their way of life and to be completely capable should the worst case scenario occur and she be somehow brought into danger.
But they had been wrong in thinking that the worst case would be that she was in danger. The worst possibility was that they left her alone, safe out there in her ordinary world while they suffered—or worse, died—while doing their duties.
That was a fate she would not face, not if she had any say in the matter. Besides, what good was all that private tutoring in the art of espionage if she couldn’t put it to use?
She pushed aside a wave of guilt. If they knew what she was up to they would kill her.
However, if they were alive to kill her then she would accept that punishment. All that mattered was ensuring their safety. She’d happily sit through a million lectures on the impropriety and rashness of her actions if it meant they were home safe. Besides, she’d followed her family’s protocol. She’d waited the appropriate amount of time, then reached out to General Watters, and then, almost immediately after, she’d contacted Gabriel.
As one of her brother’s oldest and closest friends, Gabriel had sworn to protect her should anything happen to her brother. She almost hadn’t followed that step in the Ashford family contingency plan. Gabriel had offered to look out for her when she’d been just a child, for heaven’s sake. Surely no one expected him to take her in now that she was a fully grown woman of twenty.
But that was when the idea had taken hold. She didn’t need a guardian or a chaperone. What she needed was a husband. She could bring that up now, she supposed. Remind him of his promise to care for her. Gabriel might not have romantic feelings for her, and he seemed to despise the idea of marriage in general, but if there was one thing that could be said for Gabriel, he was loyal. To a fault, her brother always said. And Daniel should know, he’d been friends with Gabri
el and Wren since their school days.
If Gabriel thought that marrying her would be the best way to honor his promise, he would surely do it. She opened her mouth to remind him of that vow but when his gray eyes met hers she found the words stuck in her throat.
She couldn’t bring herself to do it. She might have let go of her silly crush, but the idea of manipulating him into marrying her out of some sort of obligation toward her brother…the idea made her stomach turn.
Gabriel stood and she came to her feet as well, though he still towered over her. She held her breath as she waited for his answer, but his answer had nothing to do with proposals or matrimony. It seemed his train of thought had gone in the same direction as hers. When he met her gaze, he looked even more serious than usual.
“Lydia, I promised your brother I would keep you safe—”
She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.
“And I intend to do that the best way I know how.” He took a step toward her and she found herself holding her breath again, this time to keep from doing something she might regret. Like begging him.
She saw the resolute look on his face and knew what he was going to say before he said it. “Your brother would want you to be cared for.” He reached out and touched a finger to the bottom on her chin, tilting her face up so she was forced to meet his gaze.
For a man so large and brawny, his touch was devastatingly gentle.
“I will do everything in my power to find Daniel and Madeline, I promise.”
His gaze was fixed on hers, searching. She forced herself to nod, unable to speak as emotions filled her chest and made her throat ache from unshed tears.
“I need you to stay hidden,” he continued. When she stiffened, he hurried on. “I mean it, Lydia. If you get yourself in trouble, Daniel would never forgive me.”
She ignored the crushing weight those words brought with them. This was not a surprise. She’d always known Gabriel’s only interest in her was as Daniel’s little sister, the girl he’d sworn to protect. Nothing more.