by Denise Muniz
James was James, and I couldn’t change that. I didn’t want to change that. I just wished I had sided with my past boyfriends, instead of defending James, defending our friendship. I felt tears start to stream down my face. I didn’t even know why I was so upset. I think the whole situation with Grey and then James, combined with drinking, had just sent me over the edge. I just needed to make my way back to the truck before I fell flat on my face.
I must have made a sound because I heard his voice say, “Who’s there?”
I ran pretty fast considering the drunken state I was in, which was a good thing because cars surrounded me quickly. I spotted Grey’s truck immediately and climbed in before lying down.
Men are such dicks. I mean, huge dicks.
What if James never came down this weekend? Would it have been different with Grey? Would he have mentioned James when I stopped him?
Remembering that I placed the keys in my pocket, I took them out and turned the car on. I needed something to drown out my pathetic sorrow. Since I hated the music that Grey listened to I always made sure I had my iPod with me. I plugged it in and shuffled the songs until it stopped on ‘Close Yet Far’ by CKY.
I lay down on the truck bench, leaving the door open so that my legs dangled out. My jacket was making me hot from running and drinking so I removed it and threw my hands over my eyes, making my shirt rise. If only this car was a convertible. I would’ve been able to see the stars and get lost in them.
I was acting like a baby now, blaming the freaking drinks. I never drank that much and I didn’t know why I had then. I guess when you’re in an atmosphere like this you can’t help but join in. Now there I was, all by myself, while my boyfriend chatted with his friends, and best friend was busy getting a blowjob. I needed to grow up, forget about him. It was never going to happen. Stop the daydreaming. I was in a relationship, and I wouldn’t be with Grey if I didn’t like him. He was a nice, down to earth kind of guy, a quality I loved about him. And those lips…say no more.
If James wanted to be with me then we would have been together already. He could do whatever the hell he wanted. Who was I to stop him from getting laid? I was just his friend, someone who gave him a hard time because I had feelings for him.
Past tense.
I needed to let him be, maybe even bring condoms for him to have. Yeah, that’s what I was going to do, help him in that department. Although I’m pretty sure he didn’t need help.
We weren’t kids anymore. If he hadn’t tried anything when we were younger then what makes me think he would try anything now, now that I had a boyfriend and now that he wasn’t around so much? Besides, he didn’t do the commitment thing, not after he watched his parents split. He didn’t speak too much about it, but he despised his father with the strength of a thousand burning suns.
We were both grown adults who were very close friends and that’s where it ended. But would it ever end for me? I’d had feelings for him since the first time I hung out with him, almost eight years ago now. But if I wanted this to work with Grey then I needed to let him go completely, right? Grey would like that. He didn’t know how much I spoke with James, which wasn’t really that much lately. Yeah, it was time I give my all to Grey and stopped pushing myself away from him.
JAMES
As I was putting myself together and helping this chick off the ground, her knees red with a little dirt, I thought I heard someone.
“Who’s there?” I yelled out but there was only silence. I mean, if someone was there would they really answer me? Probably not. Oh well, I was ashamed of nothing. I wasn’t the one on my knees.
As we made our way back to the gang my eyes wandered involuntarily to the area where Becca had been with Grey, but there was nobody there. I let my eyes wander some more, finally spotting Grey laughing and chatting it up with a few friends of his, but no Becca. Like, no Becca anywhere. Where the hell was she? It didn’t look like he was looking for her either.
I guess that could only mean a few things. One: They got into a real argument. Two: Becca was tired and asked someone to take her home. Three: She was somewhere and I couldn’t find her. I felt a pat on my back, making me jump a little. I saw Paul raise his hands in the air to surrender. I hated being caught off guard.
“Sorry, dude,” he said, smiling. I think he’d had way too much to drink. “You missed it, James,” he slurred just a little. If he didn’t have his arms around someone I think he would have face planted the floor.
I looked at him and his eyes were tight, almost shut. He really needed to lay off the liquor. “Missed what, Paul?” I asked him, taking the cup from his hand and tossing the liquid onto the floor. I was done with drinking for the night and so was he. He was staying at my mom’s house and I didn’t want her to have to clean up after someone. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that either.
“That chick of yours was yelling at her dude, or some shit,” he explained, placing his other hand on my shoulder. I wanted to slap his hands off of me but that would have led to problems. We were both headstrong kind of guys, never having a problem to get into a fight whether from something stupid or serious. We’d been in a couple of fights back home together whenever some idiot would get jealous or they were just too drunk.
I looked to where Grey was. He was still all smiles, acting as though nothing had happened, which I’m pretty sure something had. I was about to make my way to him, knock some sense into his stupid head, when Paul tightened his grip on my shoulder. “Dude, no,” he said, sobering a little. “She stormed off somewhere, almost seemed like the direction you came from.”
At his words it was like someone had poured cold ice water down my back. From the direction I came from? I removed Paul’s arm from me and headed where I had just come from. I knew the cars were back there but nothing else. Well, except for my little pleasure party. But no way did she see that. She was too busy with Stupid Ass.
As I got closer to the cars I heard music playing from one. I couldn’t make out the words just that there was music somewhere. Grey’s truck came into view but nobody was there. Where the hell was she? As I got closer, I swore I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest. The slight drunken state I had been in was no longer present.
I saw that the passenger door was wide open and a pair of legs was just hanging out of it. All I saw were the classic black Toms Becca had been wearing today. Fuck! What if something had happened to her? What if someone took advantage of her back here where nobody could hear or find her?
I practically ran toward her, finding her lying in the car with an arm over her face. The shirt she was wearing rose up on her taut stomach, revealing a glimpse of a sexy black, lacy bra. She looked fucking hot. I shook the thought from my head; I wasn’t supposed to be thinking things like that about my best friend. Slowly, I inched my hand toward her arm, but when I touched her she popped up and screamed.
“What the fuck!” I yelled. She scared the living shit out me! But, she was alive and unharmed. I placed my hand over my heart as she looked at me with sleepy eyes. She was sleeping?
Rubbing her eyes she squinted toward me. “James?” I nodded. “What are you doing here?” she asked. Sometimes I didn’t understand the questions that would come out of her mouth. She was the one in the middle of a party, sitting in a truck, fast asleep with the door open. I grabbed her legs and shoved her into the truck to make room for myself. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. I slid into the car and closed the door, because that was what normal people did. Not hanging out of it with the door wide open like she had just been doing.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I countered. Reaching for the iPod she had plugged into the car, I started going through her playlist. I wanted to see if she still had the playlist I’d made her. Bingo.
James’ Playlist.
I went through the list and clicked ‘My December’ by Linkin Park.
“I was trying to sleep, in case you didn’t notice.” She gave me a
little attitude, closing her eyes.
How long had she been sleeping out here anyway? It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. “Yeah, well last time I saw you, you were living it up with Grey, wrapped around his waist like he was a damn Christmas tree.” I didn’t mean for it to come out the way that it did. I was just playing the scene in my head and reacted.
“Yeah, well the last time I saw you…” She tensed her jaw. This wasn’t good. “…You were coming in that slut’s mouth.”
Okay, I didn’t expect her to say it like that. I leaned back on the car bench and replied, “Nobody told you to spy on me.” It was the only thing I could say. I knew she wasn’t spying on me, but I just had to say it to lighten up the mood.
She straightened up, putting her legs down. “Spying on you?” She snorted. “Whatever, James.”
I was going to make a shitty comment but she didn’t look as though she would be up for it. I hadn’t seen her in two months but this was how it was whenever I came back, the bickering back and forth. I hated when I did stupid shit around her. The thing was, I knew she wasn’t cool with how I behaved, but what was I supposed to do?
I ran my hands through my hair before looking at her and finding her staring out of the window, up at the sky.
“I was joking, Becca.” I started to slide closer to her, invading her space as she called it. But she remained quiet, clearly not wanting to talk about it. My best bet was to change the subject. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. She tried to resist but I was stronger than her. “My mom said for you to come over for brunch tomorrow,” I offered. She raised her eyebrows. I didn’t know what she was surprised about so I continued. “You know she won’t take no for an answer,” I pushed, stating the truth. My mother was head over heels for Becca. She wished I could bring a girl like her home instead of my usual ‘bimbos,’ as she liked to call them. My mother was convinced that Becca and I were meant to be together, but once you mix being friends with sex it screwed everything up. I couldn’t say I was fully satisfied with what we had, but it worked.
She shrugged. “Yeah sure, I guess.”
I wasn’t not going to win this. Moving my hand from her shoulder, I took the keys from the ignition, turning the music off.
“What are you doing?” she asked me, reaching for the keys.
“The fireworks are going to start soon,” I explained. “Come on.” I stretched my hand out so she could grab it. I hoped she’d grab it. I could see the wheels turn in her head as she decided whether to come with me or not. When she finally reached for my hand she stumbled forward a little. “Are you drunk?” I asked, giving her my best smirk.
She turned beet red. I loved when I could do that to her. Sometimes she tried to hide it, but this time it was on full display and I was eating that shit up. “Shut up, James.”
“Here, let me help you,” I told her. Getting out of the truck first, I grabbed her by her legs and dragged her to me. She gave a little yelp and started to laugh. Two seconds after our usual bickering it was always as though it had never happened. We’d just go back to joking around. I mean, she was a pain in my ass but after all those years of friendship it was always something different with her.
As her feet came close to the door I grabbed her by the bare waist. There was a weird feeling that came over me when I touched her ivory, smooth skin. She had on one of those shirts that were cut off a little above the belly button, but from dragging her through the car seat it had rode up and was now bunched in my hands.
We froze.
Her gaze in mine. I mean, sure we played all the time but this was different. There was something about that moment that was different. The intimacy. I saw the rise and fall of her chest pick up and I could only wonder if she noticed my breath quicken as well.
My body had a mind of its own as my hand slowly climbed up her waist to her ribs, over the side of her breast, and up to her neck until I caressed her cheek. I watched as her eyes slightly shuttered at my touch.
“James?” she questioned. Believe me, I was questioning it too. I inched closer to feel her breath against my lips. It was like we were one at that moment. Did I want to kiss her? Maybe. This feeling toward her was something I thought had gone away when I moved away. But she was my best friend, and just like that, something had me pulling away from her. The hands that were gripping my biceps dropped involuntarily.
“Becca?”
I heard a voice in the distance. The trance I had been in with her broke. Her face had confusion written all over it. Surely that wasn’t because of me and what I was about to do? I didn’t know why I even bothered to get that close. Running my hands through my hair, I looked at her one more time before walking away. As I made my way to the party, I passed Grey. Luckily he came when he did. What would have happened if he saw the way Becca and I had been holding each other? It didn’t matter how natural it felt, how effortless it was to hold her like that. I couldn’t do that again. Becca was my best friend. I was sure I’d just gotten caught up in those few weak seconds, with a beautiful woman in front of me. Yeah, that’s what happened. Right?
She wasn't mine.
It was the liquor. You could always blame the liquor when shit like that happened. What the fuck? Grey was her boyfriend. Not me.
Passing Paul, I sat down next to the chick that’d been down on her knees just twenty minutes earlier. She was sitting with another chick that was sexy as hell. I needed a chick to shove my tongue down, something to take my mind off of the shit that had almost gone down. A means to fill a void, if you want to call it that, because these chicks meant nothing to me. Damn it! I sounded like an asshole.
“I’m such an asshole,” I accidentally said out loud. I didn’t mean for it to filter out but from the giggling around me I knew they’d heard.
Looking toward Paul, I saw him nodding his head in agreement, of course he would. I threw my empty cup at him. He tried to give me the serious face but failed miserably as he laughed, spitting some of his beer from his mouth. I joined him in his laughing hiccups. So much for no more drinking.
Turning my head around, I saw that Grey and Becca were making their way toward the party. That’s when I turned to one of the chicks and shoved my tongue in her mouth. She placed her hands on my thighs, going higher until she was on my bulge, moving up and down over my jeans. Usually, I wasn’t up for a public show, but I didn’t care at that moment. Breaking apart from the kiss, I see the girl that was on her knees earlier just sitting there watching us as she ran her tongue along her lower lip.
When I turned to Paul he winked and handed me a shot, which I took. Looking back at the girls, they were both licking their lips. Oh, fuck me. I licked my own lips for what was to come. In response they both leaned toward me, each holding one of my shoulders before sticking their tongues out and running them over my lips.
I willingly joined the party they had started for me. All three of our tongues were swirling in heat and saliva. I left my eyes open as I saw both of the girls run their tongues over each other then back toward mine. Everyone was going to see my hard-on any minute now. All of our lips were touching, mouths open, their tongues fighting to get into my mouth. One of their hands was pretty much jerking me off, making me hiss. Before I combusted in my pants I stopped the party, causing them to pout as they cleared the saliva that was visible on their lips. Damn it, I’m such a pussy. Two beautiful women in front of me and I stopped. I stopped because it didn’t feel half as good as what it felt like a few minutes ago with Becca, and our lips never even touched.
Chapter - 4
Becca
Doing what I did every time James was in town, I went over to his mom’s house for brunch. Since we’d known each other for a while and I was usually always at his mom’s house to help her out, it was as if I was her daughter. I’m pretty sure I saw her more than James did. Samantha was amazing, and she did a great job raising James on her own. His father had left when he was younger, leaving his mother to take on the role of bo
th parents. I think that’s one of the things that bonded James and I over the years; being raised by alone parent.
His younger years were difficult. Due to his fighting he was expelled a lot from different schools before we met. He was always an angry person, and even though I could still see it trying to come out, he had gotten much better. His mom said it was because of me. That’s a huge role to play in someone’s life, but truth be told he was my reason for peace as well. I mean, yes he did get into a few fights at school and he did get suspended, but never to the point of being expelled. He was two grades higher than me, but whenever I could I tried to always be next to him to calm him down. I think my presence helped somewhat, or I’d like to think so at least. I was pretty sure that his sleeping around helped too. The whole ‘relieving stress’ thing.
Between going back to school and working double shifts, Samantha somehow managed to afford this cute little house. It was so homey, and I loved everything about it. Thank God she didn’t have to work like that anymore.
“So, any acceptance letters yet, sweetie?” Samantha asked. She had been asking me this question every time I saw her. Although I’d told her and my dad that I’d applied to various colleges, I actually hadn’t submitted a single application.
After eating the eggs on my plate I answered, “No, nothing yet,” which was the truth. I thought about lying but I hated to lie, especially to her.
She made her way to the picnic table outside. James was sitting next to me, eating. I swore I didn’t understand how he could eat so much and stay in perfect shape. Paul was next to him, hammering down his food like a damn caveman. And I thought James was bad. This guy was a monster beast.