by Denise Muniz
“Really, wiseass? I’m talking about that red box thing in your hand?” he said.
“Oh, this thing? It’s a cowboy movie,” I explained and he looked at me confused. He knew I didn’t watch those movies. I found them very boring and I always slept through them.
He lowered his feet from the recliner and sat upright. “I thought you had a date, honey.” Concern filled his eyes.
I shrugged. “He’s busy.” I didn’t want to get into details, at least not right now. He was such a concerned father; I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I felt like my problems had been his for too long a time now and I don’t want to burden him anymore.
“I’m sorry, baby. You want to talk about it?”
Shaking my head, I walked to the DVD player and popped the movie in before walking back. “Tonight is father-daughter night.”
Stealing a glance at him I saw that he had stood up and was making his way to me. Leaning my head way back, I looked up at him. “That sounds perfect,” he said, sitting down next to me on the sofa.
“Dad, you can stay on your recliner.”
He put his arm around me, pulling me in close. “I want to be with my baby girl.”
“I need to thank Grey for this.” I told him leaning into his side listening to his strong heartbeat.
My own personal teddy bear.
He’d done it all for me. I could remember when I was about four, or maybe a little older, I think, I was running up and down the sidewalk when all of a sudden I fell hard, scraping the shit out of my knee. The skin was pulled back and blood was everywhere. When he heard my scream he ran to me. I don’t think I’d ever seen him move that fast. He scooped me up like a baby to bring me inside our apartment.
Putting the peroxide on the scrape made my eyes tear up, so whenever it burned or stung he would blow very hard, making his cheeks big and red. I couldn’t help but giggle. He was always trying to make me laugh.
But even though he would try to make me laugh there were times I would catch him thinking. Stress was written on his face as well as looking lost. I wondered if he thought about her, the woman who’d helped create me. I mean, he had to because he loved her at one point. Or perhaps he still did. I’d never seen my dad with a woman in any of our homes, unless it was a babysitter for me. He didn’t date; I was his world. I hated to say it, but I think I kept him away from finding love again. But sometimes love from a daughter or son just isn’t enough. You want that important person in your life, that person you can’t live without. The one you love with all of your heart and soul. The one that would grow old with you. My dad only had me, and I didn’t think I’d grow old with him.
“Honey,” I heard someone whisper by my ear.
My head was bent on something big and warm. Remembering the events of the night, I knew it was my dad. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw that the credits were scrolling up. Damn, I must have dosed off. Always happened with these types of movies.
“I’m sorry, I must have been more tired than what I thought,” I said, stretching my arms above my head. “So much for a father-daughter night,” I yawned.
He let out a small chuckle. “It was the best, honey.” He kissed me on top of the head before slowly standing up, his face twisted in pain. Damn, his leg must be giving him problems.
“Are you okay?” I was a little more awake now.
He brushed me off. “Comes with old age, honey. I’m going to bed. I need my rest. Thank you for tonight, and tell Grey I said thanks too.”
Standing up, I shut the DVD player off along with the TV. Wrapping my arms around him while he did the same to me I said, “I love you, Daddy.” I don't normally say daddy; it made me feel like a little girl, which I wasn’t, but when I was with my dad that’s all I wanted to be.
He set his chin above my head. “I love you too, darling. I love you too.”
We both walked upstairs. He went to his room and I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair real quick. When I went in my room I took my bra off.
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful relief.
I changed into a pair of pink boy shorts and a white tank top before plopping on the bed. Reaching for my phone I turned it on because I shut if off earlier, I saw that it was 11:34pm, and I had a few texts.
Grey: I miss you. I’m sorry about tonight. Thank you for understanding though. (9:01pm)
He was lucky I’d had a good time tonight with my dad because this was the second date he’d canceled in two weeks. I enjoyed the time I spend with Grey and I wish that tonight were one of those nights. But it turned out perfect anyway.
Me: Hey, it’s OK. I ended up staying in to watch a movie with my dad. We had a wonderful time. I’ll call u in the morning. (11:36pm)
The next one was from Emma.
Emma: Hey, luv. Hope u and ur dad r having a wonderful time (10:10pm).
She was just too sweet. I think she was more pissed about Grey canceling on me than I was. I swore, the woman couldn’t stand his ass. I wondered what he did for her to dislike him so much. She started school after he’d graduated so it’s not like she really knew him. It was probably because she was wrapped up in the fact that James and I are meant to be. Shaking my head, I reply to her text.
Me: U r probably sleeping, but we had a blast. Movie and beers. Luv u (11:37pm)
The last text was from James. I couldn’t help but smile.
James: Hey babes, just checking to c how u r doing? (11:29pm)
If he had just written that ten minutes ago then he might still be awake, although, he was a fast sleeper. I’d take my chance.
Me: Hey punk. I’m doing good. Had a father-daughter nite (11:40pm)
If he didn’t text me back then I was going to sleep. I placed my phone on my nightstand. Next to my lamp I had a picture of James, Emma and I when we went to the fair. I was holding a huge pink, stuffed animal that James had won for me on one of those ‘toss the ring on the bottle’ games. He was always good at those odd games. His arms were around me, kissing my cheeks while Emma was on the other side of me laughing as well. She had just moved here. Damn, that was only a few years back. I couldn’t believe how young we looked there. It was a good thing I filled out well because I was so weird looking in that picture. My boobs were so small and my legs look too skinny for my body. My hair was unkempt, always in a low ponytail and my eyebrows needed some serious waxing.
The next picture was of me and my dad when I was about eight. Damn, my dad looked tired, but he always tried to have a smile on his face. I guess that’s why I was cheesing so hard. It looked like my lips were pulled all the way to the back of my head.
My phone made a beep, indicating I had gotten a text.
James: What r u still doing awake? (11:45pm)
Me: Just getting to bed, and u? (11:45pm)
James: Just got in not too long ago. Showered now lying in bed (11:46pm)
Why did he have to say shower and bed? Now I was thinking about what he was wearing, if he was wearing anything at all? Once he told me that he slept naked sometimes. I should text Grey again.
Me: Yeah me 2 (11:47pm)
Was I flirting?
James: Really? What r u wearing? lol (11:47pm)
Me: Jackass, I’m not telling u (11:48pm)
James: Does that mean u r not wearing anything? (11:48pm)
Damn, he was typing mighty fast. Should I play around with him? He was always joking around with me so maybe this would teach him a lesson. I bit my lip before replying.
Me: Maybe (11:49pm)
James: Really!? Don’t be getting me excited, babes (11:49pm)
You know how you can tell a person’s emotion just from a simple text? I honestly thought he was getting excited.
Me: U r an idiot! Of course I’m wearing clothes. I’m not u (11:51pm)
James: What?! I am wearing clothes…this time (11:52pm)
I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. Even through text he was funny.
Me: U r an idiot (11:52pm)
> James: U r always calling me names *hands on heart* (11:53pm)
Me: Oh poor baby. I’m sowwie (11:54pm)
James: Yeah right! (11:54pm)
Me: Yea u r right lol (11:55pm)
James: So what happened with ur date tonight? (11:56pm)
Oh great. I’d forgotten that I’d told him about my date with Grey, but even so, I never expected him to remember or even care about it, let alone ask me how it went.
Me: He had to cancel. Work (11:58pm)
I had been trying to avoid this awkwardness about Grey canceling on our date, but everywhere I turned someone was asking me about it. Was I that excited about our date? A couple of minutes passed and still James hadn’t written back. I guessed he’d fallen asleep. As I once again placed my phone on the nightstand it started to ring, letting me know someone was trying to FaceTime me. I didn’t realize my phone was so loud. Not wanting to wake my dad since he could be a light sleeper at times, I answered it in a hurry.
When I finally looked at the screen, I saw James. His hand was behind his head and he had sleepy eyes like he would pass out any minute. His hair was still wet from the shower and it spilled over his forehead.
“Hey, I can’t see you. It’s too dark,” he said. He already had his light on because the image was very clear…and he was half naked.
I reached over to turn the lamp on, blinking a few times to adjust my eyes to the light. “I’m right here,” I said. I leaned up on one elbow with the blanket wrapped around me; I wasn’t wearing a bra and you could see everything through this tank top. I propped up my phone on my lamp so my arms didn’t get tired from holding it.
“There you are.” He smiled, displaying those sexy fucking dimples.
Ugh, why did he do this to me? Best friends, Becca, remember.
I must have looked like shit; my hair was piled on top of my head with loose strands everywhere. “I look horrible,” I told him, trying to pick some of my hair up.
“Oh please, you look great.” I think I turned a few shades of red at that comment. “So, about your date?” He was suddenly all business. Here came the lecture.
I lay back on the bed. “It’s nothing. He had to work.” Short and sweet. Nothing to it.
Now he was the one sitting up. “Bullshit, Becca. He canceled on you.” He sounded pissed. Why was everyone angrier about this than me?
“It’s no big deal anyway,” I said, which was the truth. “I got to spend much needed time with my dad, so it all worked out.”
“Becca, I can see it in your face. You want me to punch him?” he asked me, smirking. I bet he’d been dying to do that.
I could always count on James to put a smile on my face. “No, it’s okay. He apologized for it.”
“Dick,” I heard him say before lying back down.
“Oh hey, I forgot, Emma’s boyfriend is coming down around your way soon. Mind if we stop by and hang?” I didn’t know why I’d just remembered, but I was happy that I did. I knew James wouldn’t mind as long as he wasn’t doing something.
He looked to his left real quick before answering. What the heck was he looking at? “Fuck yeah, just let me know when. You could stay at my place.” He winked.
“We’ll talk about that later, but I’ll let Emma know you said okay.” A yawn escaped my mouth, which I tried to cover but it was too late. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure you were alright after what Asshole pulled.” You could always count on James to speak his mind as well. “You get some sleep and dream about me.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll be all over my dreams tonight, James.” Little did he know that he was in almost all of my dreams, in and out of them for the past eight years. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Becca,” he said, blowing me a kiss.
I blew one right back.
Chapter - 5
James
I swore it’d only been a few weeks since I’d last seen my mom and she’d already started calling me to ask me when I was coming back to visit. Would be nice for someone to come and visit me for a change, but I couldn’t see my mom driving a car for four hours. So I promised her I would let her know when I would be back. Maybe the next holiday? When was the next holiday anyway?
After hanging up the phone with my mom, I switched my pajama pants for a pair of basketball shorts and threw on my running sneakers. Running; something to take my mind off of this crazy thing we called life. So many bills, so little time to enjoy the money.
When I moved to Florida almost four years back I paired up with my cousin, Jim, and we started our own construction company. I loved to work with my hands, so when he asked me to be a part of it I jumped on board.
Now I’m co-owner.
Being your own boss is a hell of a lot better than working underneath someone. During those four years we had expanded our company and had a few employees. I’d say we were doing pretty well for ourselves. We weren’t making millions, but we were living comfortably, not much to complain about at all.
I reached over the counter to grab my iPod, earphones, and strap for my arm. After stretching for a minute I was headed out the door.
The most beautiful thing about Florida, for me, was the weather. I loved when the nice breeze brushed against my sweaty body and the smell of the ocean washed over my senses. It was warmth with a little chill. Everything else was a bonus; the women in bikinis on their roller blades, the vendors selling things on the boardwalk, the palm trees. I let it all slip my mind as Linkin Park’s ‘Hit The Floor’ played, kicking me into gear. I ignored the looks, the bodies, and just released my brain. Running was my thing. Not only did it relieve my stresses it took care of my body, and it always kept me sane.
I was only eight years old when I found out my dad had left us to fend for ourselves. I was feeling so many emotions but the biggest one was anger. I was so pissed. I left my house without saying a word to my mom and just ran. I ended up running laps around the track field by the local high school until it grew dark out. By the time I made it home there were police cars in front of the house, sending me into a panic. I thought something had happened to my mom so I stormed inside to finally realize that they were there for me. My mother had called them because she thought I’d run away. I did run, but I didn’t run away, I just needed to alleviate the anger I was feeling. She was shocked when I told her I just went out for a run.
From then on, whenever I woke up I made sure to start my day off with a long run. I noticed that when I did run, the rest of the day seemed to flow a lot better.
With my legs going, the sweat was dripping from my body. As the wind breezed on by me, I caught a little chill and finally come to a rest. My lungs burned, but it was an awesome burn that I had under control. As my breathing slowed I saw a little stand that sold water. I purchased a bottle and downed it in a second. Purchasing another bottle, I emptied it onto myself. Damn that felt so good.
Since the beach was right in front of me I made my way to it. Getting close, I sat down and just watched as the rolls of waves come in and went back out, just to repeat. A lot like life. Life is a big repeat of your daily day. I mean, how many people could say that they do something different every single day? Not many.
You get up, you go to work, you eat, maybe you go out with your friends sometimes, and then you go to bed. Then it’s the same thing for the rest of the week, month, maybe even year. Before you know it, your whole life has passed you by. That’s how it would’ve been if I’d stayed back home. I loved my mother, and life back there wasn't too bad, but I needed to get away. I needed to get away from what I knew and do something for myself. I wouldn’t be co-owner of my own business if I hadn’t have moved. I wouldn’t be able to help my mom either, not the way I’d been able to since I’d moved to Florida.
As I continued to just watch the beauty painted before me, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Taking it out, I saw a text from Asshole.
Asshole: Hey son, I know you don’t want me to text you but
I won’t give up. I have a lot to explain. Please give me that chance to explain it. Love you (6:34am)
I didn’t bother to text him back. I just pressed delete. I wished my mother didn’t give him my phone number. I could have cared less what he had to say. If he thought he could text me and I’d respond then he had another think coming. I told my mom I would try, but that was just to ease her worry. I didn’t want to speak to him.
Not then. Not ever.
He wasn’t a real man. A real man wouldn’t have left his family the way he had. Just left us, like we were yesterday’s garbage. I remembered that when I was young, whenever he’d had an argument with my mom he would leave and be out half the night. By the time he got home he would be stupid drunk. What a fucking loser.
Standing up, I dusted the sand from my shorts and made my way home. I only did five miles so the jog back was steady and mellow, just what I needed to end a great run.
*
“Paul, you girly son of a bitch, are you ready yet?” I swore the man took longer getting ready than any girl I’d ever known. Well, most girls, because Becca could be ready in five minutes.
I heard things getting knocked over in his room before he opened the door. “I’m ready, dickhead.”
He was dressed in long, white - almost see-through - pants, the ones where the wind was suppose to go through them and help cool you down. He matched that with a beige, dressy shirt, almost all unbuttoned, and these ugly ass brown sandals that I couldn’t stand. His hair was not styled at all, just tossed across his face. What was he, Justin Bieber? He almost made me feel over-dressed. I was wearing black jeans that were rolled up a little at the bottom, a grey loose button up which I’d left the top few buttons open, not tucked, and paired with all white, low Converse. I’d run a little gel through my hair so that it looked kind of wet, and I was ready to go.
“Well, it took you long enough. And what did I tell you about those ugly ass sandals.” Any chance I got to mess with him I took. People shouldn’t walk outside with those on their feet.
He just gave me the finger as we left. Since he wouldn’t get on my motorcycle we were driving in his black BMW. I couldn’t see the big deal with those cars. Everybody had them, they were comfortable, and I guess that’s a reason to have it. I lowered my seat all the way back so that I was basically lying down. As I closed my eyes for a few, Coldplay’s ‘Fix You’ played through the speakers. Just then, my phone vibrated. This better not be Asshole.