by Denise Muniz
“Hey, babes.” I heard James voice and I immediately smiled. It was what he did to me even when we weren’t together. “What are you doing?” I could hear stuff in the background and wondered what he was doing.
“I’m trying to get out of this damn dress,” I told him as I tried to unzip the back while turning in circles.
“I can come over and help.” I knew at that moment he was smirking. Such a horndog.
“Haha, I bet you could.”
Finally, I got it.
“Yes! I got it.”
I can hear his mother in the background now. The phone was only filled with her voice. I’m assuming James was listening to her since he wasn’t talking. As I waited for him to answer I put my phone on the dresser, pressing the speaker button as I tried to find some clothes to wear. Reaching to my back to unclip the strapless bra, I heard something shatter. Dropping my arms, I ran to my door quickly, peeking my head out when I realized that I was only in underwear. I didn’t know how I could move so fast with a full stomach, but I did, somehow.
“Dad,” I yelled.
He was the only one in the house. When I came upstairs after we got home he’d gone to his room. He had a good time at dinner. He was quiet at times, just observing like he was taking everything in. He kept looking at me for a while, just smiling, I hated to say that it freaked me out a little, but for him to just be staring at me was a little off. I mean, what was he thinking about while he looked at me so intensely? I could only imagine.
But right now, right here at the door, my heart was at my feet. There was only one thing that kept going through my mind…my dad.
In those three seconds, all thoughts left me and I was out the door, fast. A slight breeze went over my half naked body as I sprinted down the stairs. Stopping at the entrance of the living room, I saw my dad’s door slightly open. I inched closer. It felt like my feet were sinking into sand with how slow I was walking. My heart was beating faster than the needles of a tattoo machine, harder than the flapping of a hummingbird’s wings. Something was urging me forward when all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole.
A lump formed in my throat and I froze. Fumbling for my phone, I noticed that I had barely any clothes on and my phone was upstairs. James.
For some reason I wanted to run upstairs and tell him to get here, but I didn’t know what good that would do, so I moved closer to my dad’s door. All I had to do was go in, but something was holding me back. Something had pushed me closer and now it was holding me back. What the hell?
Pushing his door open, I saw that he was lying in his bed with the blanket over his shoulders and my heart simmered with relief.
His hand was hanging out the side of his bed and right on the floor was a shattered glass of water. My body relaxed seeing him rest, he really needed it. As quiet as I could, I made my way to the broken glass, stepping in a puddle of water. I was probably going to have to wake him just in case I scared him while I was picking up the glass with the noise, or worse, my scream after I cut myself; I was such a clumsy person. He was a light sleeper when he wanted to be.
Trying not to step on the glass, I placed my hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him. “Dad?” I said, but he didn’t stir.
I shook him again.
Something didn't seem right. He was just there. He must have been in a deep fucking sleep or something. I looked down at myself. I didn't want my dad to see me in my underwear. It had been years since that.
“Come on, old man, I’m half way naked here and you’re freaking me out.” I shook him again, harder this time, but...
Nothing.
My heart beat erratically and I became short of breath. I knew that to check for a pulse you should put your pointer finger on the person’s throat over the vein. God, please let him be okay. I inched my fingers closer to him and placed it on his neck…
JAMES
“Becca, are you there? Hello?” Taking the phone from my ear, I checked to see if she’d hung up on me. It seemed as though she was still there but there was no answer. I should go and see what happened. If something had happened that was. My mother had me changing this light bulb in the house that she couldn't reach. Out of all times to ask me, she chose this moment, when I’d only come home to change clothes before spending the rest of the day with my girl after her graduation. Let’s not forget the painting she wanted to add to her kitchen. I swore, whenever I came here I was her own personal handyman. I wasn’t complaining entirely, I just wanted to do this later and spend time with Becca now. I was going to have to leave soon and I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
“James,” I heard my mother call my name from down the hall.
“Yes, mother.”
“When you’re done with that can you help hang this up for me?”
She couldn't be serious? Hanging my head low, I answered, “Sure, but that’s the last thing I’m doing. I want to spend time with Becca.”
She came out of one of the rooms with her hand on her hip. “You will, James. We live close to her, silly child.” Shaking her head, she returned to her room.
There was no point in disagreeing with her. As I screwed in the last light bulb, I heard the doorbell. “Can you get that, James?” my mom shouted.
Dusting my hands on my pants, I made my way down the hall and opened the door. I was expecting Becca or someone around the way. The last person I expected in front of my mother’s house was Juliana. I knew she’d been blowing up my phone and sending text messages, but now I was thinking she hadn’t got the message at all. Like the shit wasn't clear enough for her to follow. The message of ‘I don't want to be with you anymore’. Now she was just being a fucking stalker and I was fucking pissed.
“Who is it, James?” my mother called.
But before she could appear I grabbed Juliana by the wrist and stepped out the door, slamming it shut. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked her.
Letting go of her wrist, I ran my hands through my hair. This shit just kept happening with her. I didn't want to deal with this right now. She fucking drove four hours just to be here?
“I said it’s fucking over. What the fuck do you want?” Normally I was a lot nicer to females but this chick was pissing me the fuck off.
“You think I’m here because I want you?” She had a look of disgust on her face. Last time I checked I had fucked her. What the fuck was she disgusted for?
“Then what the fuck do you want?” I asked her, trying to breathe. I needed to keep my voice down or my mother would come out and be nosey.
She paced back and forth a few times, stopping in front of me. “You haven’t text me back and you don't answer your phone.”
“I told you when I got back we could talk. Why did you come?”
She was biting her lip, nervous about something. “I needed to tell you that I…”
She didn't get to finish because I heard someone screaming my name, stopping the both of us in our tracks.
“JAMES!”
Looking out to the sidewalk, I saw Becca running toward my house. She was wearing a strapless bra and underwear. Normally, I would be turned on and probably pissed that she had left her house like this, but her face was red and her cheeks were wet. I didn't bother to look at Juliana as I ran down the steps toward Becca. She ran straight into my arms.
“James...help...come on!” she cried, but as I held her she felt limp, she wasn't going anywhere. She was pointing toward her house, out of breath. Her cries were hysterical. “COME ON!” She tried to remove her body from mine.
Her body was cool against me. “Calm down, Becca.”
She looked at me for the first time since she’d ran here, looking at me like I’d lost my damn mind. And I knew at that moment what had happened. I knew that the time had come and this was the part that we had to deal with. As I was about to wrap my arms around her she placed her hands on my chest and shoved herself off of me. When she was about to turn around I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into my house.
My mother showed up within seconds of hearing the screaming. “Mom, call 911,” I instructed her as I held Becca down on the sofa.
She was wailing, screaming, and kicking. I grabbed her by the wrist, straddling her to keep her from going nuts.
“Is there something I can do?” Juliana was behind us, just standing there like a sad puppy.
I turned around. "Just…go with my mom.”
I turned my attention back to Becca. She was looking at me, still trying to break free. “Please, James, we have to go. H-h-he needs help!” She turned her head toward the window.
“Okay, but you need to calm down first.” She closed her eyes and stopped fighting, but the tears were still lining her face. I leaned in next to her ear, feeling her breath against my neck. “Just calm down, I’m right here.”
I was hoping my words would calm her down. After a few seconds of nothing, I heard a couple of cop sirens. “We’re going to go over now. The ambulance is there.”
She nodded without saying a word. Slowly, I removed myself from her body and helped her up. I had to practically hold her up to stop her from hitting the floor, hard. Turning my head to the right, I saw my mother and Juliana with sad looks on their faces. I wished Juliana wasn’t here, but I couldn’t do anything about that now. Becca and I walked out of the front door to see an ambulance and a cop car in front of her house. A sob came from her, but the only thing I could do was hold her tighter. Letting her know with my grip that I was here and I wasn’t going anywhere. My heart broke thinking about the things that were about to go down. Her emotional breakdown. How far would she push me…us.
Someone touched my shoulder and when I turned and looked down I saw my mother. She wrapped her arms around Becca’s waist. “I’ll hold her while you go talk to them,” she told me, nodding toward the men in uniform.
I faced Becca, cupping her face in my hands. “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to talk to them. Stay here with my mom.”
I didn’t think she knew what I was saying. She wasn’t looking at me, but straight ahead. I left her with my mom and walked down the steps toward a cop. He held out his hand before I could go inside the house. “Sorry, sir, you can’t come in.”
I stopped at the front of her house. “I know the guy who lives here. He’s my…father-in-law. My fiancé is at my mom’s house down the street and she’s upset, I don’t want her here so that’s why I’m here. Does anyone know what happened?” I asked him, looking toward my house.
My mother must’ve taken Becca inside so she didn’t have to see. Right behind the cop there was a body in a black body bag with two paramedics wheeling it out of the house. I stepped to the side, sticking my hands in my pocket. It had gotten really cold all of a sudden.
“Sorry, sir, I don’t know the facts but you can follow the ambulance to the hospital and I’m sure the doctor can explain,” he told me, going down the stairs behind the paramedics. They wheeled Larry’s body inside the ambulance. I turned inside and rushed up the stairs to grab any clothes I could find for Becca.
I quickly made my way to my mom’s and burst through the door. My mother was rubbing Becca’s back, Becca’s head on my mother’s shoulder. She was draped in a blanket. Juliana was sitting in the far corner, keeping her distance with tears in her eyes. I didn’t want to rush Becca but we needed to get to the hospital. I walked around the sofa, kneeling down and placing my hands on her knees.
“Is he okay?” she whispered, staring straight ahead.
My heart broke at that moment. She was in denial.
I didn’t bother to answer that question. “Listen, babes, we need to go to the hospital. I got some clothes for you.” Gently, I grabbed her hands and stood her up.
She was like a zombie as I slipped her shirt and shorts on. Her head was hanging to the side, leaving her wavy brown hair still, no movement, no nothing, but the faint rise and fall of her chest.
I looked toward my mother. “We’re going to the hospital. I’m going to take the car.” She got up and went into the kitchen, coming back with the keys in her hand.
Juliana stood. “Ummm…can I come?” I didn’t know why she wanted to but I didn’t care at this point. I just nodded.
*
As soon as we got to the hospital the nurse at the desk told us that we had to wait in the waiting room. We hadn’t been there long so I wasn’t going crazy trying to figure out the answers to the millions of questions that must be going through Becca’s head. As we sat down, I squeezed her hand every so often. She wouldn’t squeeze back, she just looked toward the hallway filled with nurses in scrubs and doctors in lab coats.
Juliana was sitting on the other side of us. I didn’t know why she wanted to come if she was just going to stay in the back.
Just then, someone came running inside the waiting room, looking around. Grey. What the fuck was he doing here? In two seconds flat, he was in front of us, running his hands through his hair.
I stood up. “Hey,” I didn’t know what else to say to him.
He finally acknowledges me. “Hey, James, is everything okay?” I shook my head and he looked down at Becca. She continued to stare into nothing. He squatted before her. “Hey, Becca.” He touched her hand.
She didn’t give him the time of day. The awkwardness didn’t last long because a doctor walked in. “Family of Larry Miller?” he said, looking around.
Becca stood up fast and was in front of him in a split second. “Yes?” She pointed to herself. “I’m Rebecca, his daughter. Is he okay?”
The look on the doctor’s face said it all. I already knew since I’d seen the bag, but she hadn’t seen it. She probably just saw him on the floor or bed or wherever and ran out of the house. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me.
The doctor was finding it difficult to speak, clearing his throat several times before he said, “Rebecca, I’m so sorry, but there was nothing we could do when he arrived. He passed away in his sleep it seems. We don’t know the specifics, but we can have a post mortem completed in the next couple of days. Your father had on his ID that he would like to be an organ donor, but unfortunately, with the damage caused by the spread of the infection, we can’t use any.” He looked down when he finished.
“Becca?” I tried to get her attention. She didn’t say anything when the doctor finished.
“I’ll leave you to it. Again, I’m sorry.” He touched her shoulder and walked away.
Suddenly, she was limp in my arm. Grey grabbed one of her arms and we helped her to one of the chairs. We were inching her toward the seat when she stopped, grabbed my shirt, and pulled me forcefully to her, crying loud. The cry was completely heartbreaking. It wasn’t like losing a friend or something. She’d lost a parent. A parent who had been there for her through everything. It didn’t help that she’d just found out that her mother was dead as well. Her hold on me was so strong I could feel her nails biting into my skin through my shirt. I bit my lip to mask the pain. I didn’t know what to do except hold her, so I started to smooth her hair down.
“Shhh, I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered in her ear.
Juliana came up to me and placed a hand on Becca’s back, rubbing it up and down like my mother had done earlier. ‘Thank you’, I mouthed to her. She just smiled. Then Grey stepped up. When his and Juliana eyes met it there was clear shock on both their faces. It was as though they knew each other. But how?
“Excuse me?” A timid voice said beside us. Looking away from Juliana and Grey, I gave her a nurse my attention. “The body is ready to be viewed.”
“Thank you,” I told her.
Once she walked away, I grabbed Becca’s hand and pulled her off of me. Her eyes were closed but the tears were still streaming down her face like a waterfall as she shook her head back and forth, ‘no’.
“Hey, we can see him,” I said, squeezing Becca’s hand. I gave Juliana and Grey one final glance then walked to the nurse. After telling her we were ready to see the body, she
walked us down a few hallways until we stopped in front of a glass.
“You can just knock and they will let you in,” she explained before leaving.
I didn’t want to let go of her, but I knew she had to say her goodbyes, even if he couldn’t say anything back to her. Her breathing had evened out but the tears were still there. I didn’t know if I should go in with her or not.
“I’ll go alone,” she said just as I was about to knock on the door. I looked at her as she wiped her hands across her face. “I can do this.” She finally looked at me. Her eyes were bloodshot with a permanent frown etched on her lips. All I wanted to do was kiss away her tears and tuck her away so she never had to face the reality of this world again. I didn’t know how to protect her from something like this.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
She nodded.
I moved to the side as she walked by me and knocked on the door. I couldn’t stand to see her hurt so I made my way to the waiting room, but before I could get there Juliana was waiting for me at the end of the hall. Not right now. I stopped where she was leaning against the wall.
“How is she?” she asked when she saw me.
She seemed concerned. I tucked my hand in my pockets and leaned against the wall with her. “I don’t know. She walked in and that’s it. She’ll come out when she’s ready.” I looked up to see the bright light against the white ceiling. Everything in here was white when it should be black. Black with death.
“Look, I know this is not the best time to tell you, but I don’t know when I will have the chance again after this.” The short time I’d been with Juliana she had never sounded so nervous and now she was drowning in nerves.
But the question that came out of my mouth was not what I expected. “How do you and Grey know each other?”
She opened then closed her mouth. She was probably going to say that they didn’t, but I knew better then that. “How did you know that?”
Make light of the situation, James. “The shock on your faces when you saw each other.”