“It was just a dream. You said that yourself. How could it have anything to do with what happened today?”
Michael snorted. “Stranger things have happened, haven’t they?”
I chose to ignore that remark. “Michael, it’s not as though I went off looking for an opportunity to spend time with her. This was just something that seemed like an okay idea today when I was talking with Ms. Ross. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was easier to agree. But it’s nothing to worry about now. Tomorrow, I’ll go in and tell her that I’m going to take home ec or whatever, and it’ll be done. So you don’t have to get all over me about it.” I was weary and annoyed and tired of people thinking I wasn’t smart enough to take care of myself.
There was a note of strain in Michael’s tone, too. “I’m not getting all over you about it. But I’m not there to watch your back this year, and I’m worried about what could happen.”
“I lived without a bodyguard for seventeen years before I met you.” It wasn’t a kind thing to say, but I wasn’t feeling very kind.
“You didn’t live in King before you met me. You were never at risk the way you are now.”
“I can take care of myself. I’m not stupid.”
“I never said you were!” Michael’s voice rose, and then I heard him blow out a sigh, probably of frustration, I thought. I could just picture him running his hand over his hair, as he did when he was concerned or upset.
“Look, Tasmyn, it’s late, and we’re tired. We’re going around and around here, and I think we’re both saying things we might not really want to say.” When I was silent, he continued. “Why don’t we just talk about this tomorrow, okay? I’ve got a load of reading to do before I get to sleep, and I’m sure you’ve got homework, too.”
“Okay.” My voice was low as I struggled to keep the tears out of it.
“I’ll call you tomorrow night.”
“Okay,” I repeated softly.
“Night.”
I’m not sure I could have responded, but it didn’t matter, for I heard the click on the other end of the line. I dropped the phone on the nightstand and fell across the bed, too confused and uncertain to collapse into the tears that had threatened earlier.
I pushed myself off the bed and moved restless around my room. My eyes lit upon the half of the sand dollar I’d found on our last trip to Clearwater. It was on top of my jewelry box, and each night I touched it gently with the tip of my finger, remembering.
Now I carefully picked it up and examined its jagged edge. Our two pieces had fit together so perfectly less than a month ago, before Michael had left. With a pang, I wondered if the fit would be so complete after this year apart had worn at both of us.
I deliberately left for school a little earlier the next morning so that I would have time to see Ms. Ross before classes began. I didn’t want to lose my nerve, and I had promised my parents that I would take care of it right away.
I hadn’t slept well again. No specific nightmares this time, but I was restless and awoke with that vague sense of wrongness that I’d felt before when I was at odds with my parents over something. I knew it was my conversation with Michael that was making me feel so off today. We had never really had a disagreement that we hadn’t resolved almost immediately, and the feeling of being slightly off-kilter lingered with me.
The school office was much quieter this morning, and when I asked if Ms. Ross was in, the secretary waved me toward her door. The guidance counselor was sitting at her desk, much the way I had left her the previous day. She was absorbed in something on her computer and didn’t see me until I knocked softly on the door jam.
“Oh! Miss Vaughn, right? What can I do for you?” She was brisk but not unfriendly. Didn’t I take care of everything with her yesterday?
I hurried to my point. “I’m sorry to bother you again, but after I thought about it, I decided I’d really rather take an elective in fourth period, instead of the independent study. Can we change that?”
Her manner and her thoughts turned decidedly frostier. “I thought we had that all straightened out. Why did you change your mind?”
I wanted to tell her that it was none of her business, but instead I invoked the parent clause.
“My father and mother think it would be better for me to have an elective.”
Ms. Ross sighed. She wanted to argue, I could hear that clearly in her head, but she decided it wasn’t worth taking on my parents. As if I don’t have enough to do, I heard her think crossly.
“Fine. Which elective do you want to take?”
“I was thinking home economics,” I replied meekly. She typed something on her keyboard, waited a moment, then frowned at the screen.
“Home ec is filled that period. We have to keep that to a small class because of the nature of the subject.” She clicked a few more keys, then scrolled down a page. “Wood shop has a few openings.”
Inwardly I groaned. I could handle some baking, sewing and child care projects, but saws and sanders were a different matter entirely. Ms. Ross was looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
“Okay,” I sighed. “Wood shop will be fine. Thanks.”
I left Ms. Ross’s office with an amended schedule, an add form for the wood shop teacher to sign and the overwhelming sense that she thought I was making the wrong decision.
I questioned it myself in fourth period. The class was filled with boys, mostly freshmen and sophomores. There were two other girls, both of whom gazed at me with frank suspicion. Since I had worn open-toed shoes, I wasn’t permitted to work on any of the machines. The teacher reminded me that only safe shoes were allowed in his class and handed me a book of woodshop projects so that I could choose what I wanted to make this year. Glumly I flipped through the pages until he dismissed us a few moments before the bell rang.
I rounded the corner, heading for my locker and wondering how I was going to get through a year of woodshop.
“Tasmyn.”
I stopped abruptly and turned in the direction of the voice, trepidation making my heart beat erratically. Ms. Lacusta stood in the shadowed doorway of a nearby empty classroom.
Before I could answer her or even think, she beckoned me. “I wondered if I could have just a minute of your time.”
Torn, I looked around the nearly empty walkway. The bell would ring shortly, and throngs of students would fill the outside corridor. But at the moment I felt very alone and vulnerable.
I felt her amusement and knew I was easily read. “I promise you, I intend no harm. I only want to… talk with you.”
I moved slowly and reluctantly toward her. “Okay. What… what do you need?”
Ms. Lacusta’s laugh was low and ironic. “Oh, I don’t need anything, Miss Vaughn. It’s what you need, actually.”
When I only gazed at her blankly, she proceeded. “I was very disappointed to learn today that you’d changed your mind about our independent study. I was so looking forward to working with you, one-on-one.”
I dropped my eyes to the sidewalk. “My parents thought an elective would be a better idea for me.”
“Woodshop? Come now, Miss Vaughn, there’s no need to play games. We both know why your parents don’t want you to learn from me. They’ve been deceived by the lies of others.”
“I don’t think so,” I countered. “What we know is the truth.”
Her eyes widened. “I cannot believe that you would be so easily taken in by those wild stories. I’m merely a teacher, Tasmyn. Sharing knowledge is my life, and it gives me great joy to instill that knowledge in the lives of young people, like you. Girls, particularly those who are… disturbed, shall we say, have a tendency to invent stories that make their own actions more palatable. You must learn to be more discerning.”
As she spoke, I was trying to hear her thoughts. As usual, though, all I could hear was a low humming, with an occasional breakthrough of a foreign word or two.
Frowning, I answered her spoken words. “I think I’m a pretty
good judge of character, and what you led Nell to do was horrible. And then you let her take all the blame. She’s locked away, and you bear more than a little responsibility for that.”
Ms. Lacusta waved a hand between us. “That isn’t true, Tasmyn. I was not in that clearing, and I never would have encouraged Nell to dabble in such things.” She shook her head, both sadly and vehemently. “But that isn’t important now, and we don’t have much time.
“Tasmyn, I want you to take my independent study course. It is very important to me, and I believe it is a much better choice for you than wood shop. I am asking you to change your mind.”
I shook my head. “Even if you could convince me, my parents have already told me no, and you’re not going to change their minds.”
A smile played around her lips, and I felt again that familiar, serpentine fog that I always picked up when she was nearby. A chill ran down my back.
“I think perhaps I can convince you, Miss Vaughn. I think that we all have certain things that we’d rather not share about ourselves. What is the phrase, ‘skeletons in the closet’? You’ve mentioned what you think I’m hiding, but you are not so anxious to discuss your own secrets, are you?”
A flush crept over my face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. We both know it. You have certain talents, don’t you, Miss Vaughn? Certain abilities that you are quite—oh, shall we say, motivated—to hide from the world?”
Now my heart was pounding. I had feared that Ms. Lacusta suspected my secret, but now I knew it.
“You don’t have to say anything. And if you would like me to continue to keep my own counsel, I think perhaps you should reconsider your choice of fourth period class.”
“But—but—Ms. Ross—and my parents…” I stammered. My mind was still spinning at the realization that my science teacher was blackmailing me into taking her class.
She smiled again. “I’ll take care of Ms. Ross. She will pleased to hear that you’ve come to this decision. And as for your parents, well…” Her smile widened, and it was more alarming than ever. “You’re old enough to make these choices on your own. Certainly, for their own protection, I think your parents could remain in blissful ignorance, don’t you agree?”
“Their own protection?” I whispered. Was she threatening my parents now?
“I simply mean protection from the inevitable heartbreak of seeing their only child exposed and exploited for her extraordinary gifts. Your parents have gone to a good deal of trouble to make sure your talents remain hidden, haven’t they? I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see all their hard work undone.”
“I don’t lie to my parents.” This was a simple statement of fact.
Ms. Lacusta laughed. “So you’re saying that your mother and father knew and approved of your following Nell into that clearing not once, but twice? I find that very hard to believe. If you can justify hiding that, I am sure that you can do the same with our little secret. And this time, no one will get hurt and they need never be the wiser. Ms. Ross understands about these things, and she can make sure that your report cards will still show wood shop.”
Dizzily I leaned against the doorway. Ms. Lacusta’s knowledge and influence were much more extensive than I’d anticipated. If she could coerce Ms. Ross into falsifying my report cards, she obviously had more power than I’d thought.
And she wasn’t wrong about my parents and what I’d hidden from them last year. Since my last encounter with Nell, I’d promised to be completely open, and I’d kept that vow. But she was also right that my mother and father feared that the world would discover my gift. I would do almost anything to protect them from that.
The bell rang shrilly, and Ms. Lacusta tilted her head at me questioningly.
Defeated, I closed my eyes and nodded.
Hiding things from those closest to me proved to be oddly easier than I had imagined. I must have been quieter than normal at lunch, because Amber was very solicitous and Cara’s thoughts veered from hopefully wondering if Michael and I were growing apart to brooding over whether I was hiding something from her.
To make matters even worse, my new acquaintance Rafe stopped by the table shortly before the bell rang. His eyes lit up when he spotted me, and I fought to keep from banging my head into the table. Instead I pasted a smile on my face and gave him what I hoped was a breezy wave.
“Hey!” he greeted me with enthusiasm. “I was wondering if I’d run into you today. And here you are!”
“Here I am,” I echoed grimly. “Rafe, these are my friends Amber and Cara. Rafe just moved here, and I met him in the parking lot yesterday.”
Cara looked at me archly as her mind went wild, but Amber, bless her, merely smiled up at Rafe.
“Hi,” she said warmly. “Welcome to King. Where did you move here from?”
“California. My stepdad just took a job overseas, so he and my mom left me here with my grandparents. They’ve lived here forever.” Without waiting for an invitation, Rafe dropped to the bench next to me. I frowned and scooted closer to Amber as subtly as I could. He didn’t seem to notice.
“Yeah, me too,” Amber replied. “Cara and Tas are both fairly new, but I’ve been in King all my life.”
Rafe winced slightly. “I can’t imagine that. I’m not trying to run down your town, but we’re kind of out in the middle of the sticks. It takes an hour to get anywhere worthwhile.”
“I guess it depends on what you think is worthwhile,” I commented. I grabbed my bag from the bench beside me and stood. “I’ve got to go to my locker before the bell rings. See you all later.”
I was out the swinging door before I heard Amber calling me. I slowed my pace to let her catch up.
“Hey!” She was breathless. “What’s wrong?”
I presented her with a surprised and guileless face. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong. I just have to stop at my locker.”
“Tasmyn, I’m not blind. And I’m not stupid. You hardly said a word at lunch, and then you practically ran away from that new guy just now. What’s going on?”
We had reached my locker, and I busied myself with twirling the lock in silence for a moment while I debated over spilling everything to Amber. I didn’t want to upset or burden her, but I knew I needed to talk to someone, and Amber was the best friend I had right now.
“I had a rough morning,” I admitted. In a low voice, I poured out the entire story, beginning with my meeting with Ms. Ross the day before and finishing with Ms. Lacusta’s threats today.
Amber was quiet, and I could hear her thoughts swirling. She was frightened, but I realized that she was afraid for me.
“Tasmyn, can’t you talk to someone? Go to your parents or… or someone? Marly maybe?”
I shook my head in misery. “I don’t think she was bluffing, Amber. I think she’ll out me. It would kill my parents.”
Amber leaned against the lockers and sighed heavily. “Your parents might surprise you. And if you go to the principal or—or someone else, and tell them that Ms. Lacusta threatened you, they probably won’t believe her, no matter what she tries to say about you.”
“At this point, I’m not sure if any of the teachers would believe me. You didn’t hear the things Ms. Ross was saying yesterday. She thinks Ms. Lacusta is completely innocent. And Amber, what if it’s not them—teachers or whatever—who she’s going to tell? What if it’s someone who could really be a threat to me? Researchers or scientists, something like that. People who would have a whole different agenda about me and what I can do.”
“Do you really think that could happen?” Amber asked wide-eyed.
“I don’t know, but I can’t take a chance. For now at least, I’m just going to go along with her. You’re my safeguard, Amber. Ms. Lacusta won’t risk anything if she knows that you’re aware of our independent study arrangement.”
“Are you going to tell her?” Alarm colored Amber’s voice.
“Maybe. If I feel as though I have to. But
don’t worry. I promise I won’t put you in any danger. You’ll just be there to make sure I show up to lunch every day after my meeting with her… and to be certain that I’m still… me. You know, that she hasn’t gotten into my head.”
“And you’re really not going to tell Michael?” I could feel Amber’s strong concern almost as well as I could hear her thinking. This is so not a good idea. Michael will freak if he finds out. This is a huge mistake…
I frowned and deliberately concentrated on shutting out her thoughts. My mind was made up, and I knew what I had to do. It killed me to think of keeping something from Michael, but I knew that it was for his own good. Worrying about me would distract him from schoolwork, and I was sure that he’d be able to justify telling my parents by convincing himself that I was in imminent danger.
“Not right now, at least,” I answered Amber finally. “After I’ve proven that I can handle Ms. Lacusta, I’ll tell him everything. Don’t worry about it, Amber. It’s all going to work out.”
But I was afraid that it wasn’t going to work out easily. As I drove home after school, I wished that I had work hours at the nursery today that would give me an excuse to avoid my parents a little longer. Fleetingly I toyed with the idea of driving out to Sawood anyway, just to spend some time with Marly. But I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to be completely honest with her, either, and I decided I might as well go home.
As it turned out, I didn’t have to directly lie to my mother. When I got home, she was in her office. I peeked in to say hello, and she came right to the point.
“Did you talk to the guidance counselor?”
I nodded and delivered my prepared line. “Yes, I told her I wanted an elective instead of the independent study. Home ec was full, so she put me into woodshop.”
My mom made a face, almost involuntarily; obviously my aversion to power tools and sawdust was genetic. Then she shrugged. “Well, you do what you have to do. It’ll be an easy A for you, I guess.”
King 02 - Breathless Page 7