by L. A. Witt
“No.” I squeezed his hand. “I think you’ve already done more than enough.”
He smiled, but it faltered a bit.
“Thank you, by the way,” I said. “I didn’t want you in the line of fire, but I’m really glad you showed up.”
“You weren’t surprised, were you?”
I chuckled. “Not really, no.”
Our eyes locked, and we both smiled for real. Then he leaned down and kissed me softly.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He stroked Emily’s hair. “You and the kids.”
“Me too.” Exhaling slowly, I relaxed against the hard pillow. “This is finally over.”
“No shit.”
Thank God. Everything would finally be back to normal.
Except . . . it wouldn’t.
I looked up at him. “If you need to go be with your family right now, just say so.”
“I am with my family.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know.” He kissed me again. “And I’ll spend time with them soon too. They postponed the memorial service until this was over, so . . .”
I winced. “Jesus. They didn’t have to—”
“They wanted to. They knew this was important and it couldn’t wait.” He pressed his lips to mine again, probably to stop any protests I might’ve come up with. “They understand. Trust me.”
I didn’t argue. Combing my fingers through his hair, I whispered, “God, I love you.”
Darren grinned. “I know.”
A laugh burst out of me. “Shut up.”
He chuckled. “I love you too.” One more kiss, and he stood up again. “I’m going to go check in with Paula and the captain.”
I just nodded.
He left, and I wrapped both arms around Emily. She was dozing now, still holding on, but not as tight as before.
“Hey.”
I opened my eyes as Casey came in. “Hey. You doing all right?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.” He gestured over his shoulder. “Mom’s on her way. Her and Lisa. I was going to go out and wait for them, but wanted to see how you were doing first.”
“I’m good.” I paused. “By the way, I’m sorry. When Blaine made me choose between the two of you, I—”
“Dad.” He shook his head and put his hand on my forearm. “I know. I didn’t want Emily in the middle of that either.”
“But you know I could never really choose between you kids. Right?”
Casey smiled and nodded again. “I know.” He watched his sister sleeping for a moment. Then he met my gaze. “We knew you’d get us out. Both of us did. That asshole tried to tell us you wouldn’t, but . . . we knew.”
A lump rose in my throat. “I never stopped trying, that’s for sure. Letting him drive off with you two was . . .” I couldn’t even finish the thought.
Casey leaned down and hugged me and Emily. “You always told us car chases were too dangerous.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Yeah. I just didn’t want to get you both killed.”
“I know.” He stood again and cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m . . . going to go wait for Mom. You want me to bring her in here too?”
“Yeah. Please.”
“Okay.” He started to go, but hesitated. “By the way, everything you told us the night this all happened?”
I nodded. That conversation seemed like decades ago.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For getting pissed off. It just caught me off guard, I guess.”
“It’s all right. I shouldn’t have kept everything from you kids. It won’t happen again.”
“Still. I could’ve been less of a dick about it.” He glanced down the hall. “And your boyfriend . . . he seems really cool. Maybe we can actually get to know him before we all go home.”
“I’m sure we can work something out.”
“Sounds good.”
He lingered for a moment in that slightly awkward silence where neither of us really knew what to say. Then he gave me one more quick smile, and went out to wait for his mom.
I closed my eyes and sighed into my daughter’s hair. Now that this was all over, exhaustion was setting in. I’d had precious little sleep recently, and the sheer stress had drained me like nothing I’d ever experienced. If not for the pain in my ankle, I probably would’ve fallen asleep a long time ago.
As I lay there with Emily dozing on my chest, though, as the dust settled and reality sank in, even the pain couldn’t keep me awake.
It wasn’t easy to carve out space for a meeting at the hospital, but Paula had a knack for spreading herself out like a cat when staking a claim, and managed to snag us a table in the cafeteria.
“Gronkowski will make it,” Captain Hamilton said as soon as I sat down. I let myself slump against the chair.
“That’s good news.”
“The bullet shattered his femur, so he’s not going to be running marathons anytime soon, but he’ll recover. His kid’s actually in here right now—her doc wrangled a shared room for the two of them, so he’s happy as a clam.”
“A clam on morphine.” Paula grinned. “If he’s not rhapsodizing about the pretty lights, he’s poking himself in the leg and wondering why it doesn’t hurt.”
Yeah, I’d wait until the drugs had worn off some before I went and thanked him for his help. “What about Wiles?”
Paula shrugged. “He ducked and covered once the bullets started flying, hunched behind Blaine’s car, and stayed out of the way. Basically useless, but at least he didn’t obstruct anything. Folsom is the one I’m impressed with. I wasn’t sure what to make of him after last night, but he really went after Blaine.”
“He was so . . . disgusted.” And his son had seen that, seen the contempt on his father’s face as I’d led him over to a squad car. His breath had stuttered in his lungs, his legs almost giving out. He’d failed—completely and utterly failed—the man he’d put on a pedestal. As much as I hated him, I knew that had to hurt. I shook my head a little. “Folsom came through when we needed him. He earned his reduced sentence.”
“At this point, we’re going to see if we can’t get all of them fully pardoned,” Paula said. “Make their deals as good as we actually told Blaine we would.”
Bullet in the leg or not, cuffing his own kid or not, that was a damn good deal. “What about Officer May?”
Paula and the captain shared a grim look. “May didn’t make it,” she said. “He died early this morning. Blaine is looking at murder in the second degree, at least. In addition to the dozens of other charges we can get him for.”
“Well, shit.” May had been a good guy. Overly earnest and stupidly trusting, but a good guy. “Tell me we at least got the rest of Blaine’s people.”
“We apprehended his sniper at the plant. We’re chasing down a few other contacts right now, but nobody’s getting out of this.” Paula patted my hand. “We’ve got a handle on it.”
“And you’ve got a week off, starting now.” I opened my mouth, but the captain didn’t even pause. “Your mother is expecting you to call the minute you’re done with this case, so as far as I’m concerned, you’re done with this case. Don’t make a liar out of me.”
“I—” Surely not. There had to be more to do; this case had been all I’d lived and breathed for the past . . . forty-eight hours? Was that all? That Andreas was off the case now I figured, and that was good: he needed the break. He needed to be with his kids, safe and sound. But I could do more. I could—
No. I had responsibilities I couldn’t put off much longer. It wasn’t fair to make my parents wait any more. “I’ll call her.”
“Good. Get on that.” Paula compounded the dismissal with a little shooing hand motion, and I knew when I wasn’t wanted. I stood up, stifling a groan at how incredibly tired I felt now that the adrenaline had worn down, and headed back toward Andreas’s room. I should tell him I was going, let him know I’d call him tomorrow to check and see when his next surgery was going to be—Zach
had not been pleased by the state of his ankle—and make sure he—
The first words that came to mind when I glanced into his room were “puppy pile.” Andreas and Emily were on the bed, just like they’d been when I’d left last time. Lisa was here now, though, and she was slim enough to fit up there with the two of them. Emily had a hand on each of her parents even while she was asleep, and Andreas was completely passed out. His older kids had pulled up chairs around the bed and were talking quietly amongst themselves, Erin and Ben surrounding Casey like parentheses. I couldn’t quite bring myself to interrupt the sense of calm that permeated the room, and backed away quietly. I’d meant it when I’d told Andreas that his family was my family, especially Emily and Erin. But some things were better with people you shared a history with, and the aftermath of a trauma like this was one of them. I’d talk to them all again soon.
I turned and almost ran into Marcy, who was carrying a tray of coffee cups. “Shit!” I helped her steady them. “I’m so sorry, I should have been paying better attention.”
“It’s fine, no harm done.” She smiled the smile of someone who’d had all her prayers answered: positively beatific. “Are you coming to join us?”
“Not right now. I’ve got some things to deal with at home . . .”
“Oh God, of course. Your poor brother. Ben told me. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” It totally wasn’t fine, but I wasn’t going to get into that with a woman I barely knew in the middle of a hospital hallway. “But yeah, I should go. Would you let Andreas know I’ll call him in the morning?”
Her smile was back. “Is that really all you want me to tell him? No ‘lots of love,’ no ‘miss you baby’?”
“He already knows I love him, and he’d glare me into oblivion if I called him baby.” Outside of the bedroom, at least.
“I’m glad he has you, Darren.” There was nothing but honesty in her face. “I can’t tell you how big a relief it is to know he’s got someone who loves him and is looking out for him. And who can legally tase him when he gets unbearable,” she added.
I choked on a laugh. “I’m really not supposed to do that unless there’s no other choice.”
“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that man gives you a choice. Or at least it didn’t for me, but . . . you’re better for him than I was, I think.” She lifted her tray a few inches. “I should get these to the kids before they get cold. I hope I get to see you again before I fly out this weekend.”
“We’ll see.” I couldn’t promise any more than that, and she seemed to get it. Marcy moved on into the room, and I headed for the exit, pulling out my phone as I went. I dialed Vic’s number, just in case my mom was resting.
He answered on the first ring. “Darren? You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“What about Andreas and the kids?”
“They’re all fine, Vic. Everything worked out.” Well, mostly. “Andreas will be in the hospital for a while getting his ankle fixed again, but nobody else was badly hurt.”
“Thank the Lord for that.”
“How are you and Mom?”
I heard the creak of his armchair in the background. “We’re holding steady, kid, holding steady. We’ve got more casserole dishes in our damn fridge than your mother knows what to do with, so she’s moved on to stress baking. If I see one more damn cream puff, I’m gonna lose my lunch.”
I chuckled. “Whatever, you love her baking. Listen . . . can I come over? Now?” All of a sudden the urge to be with my parents, to play the part of Emily and hand over my burdens to someone more capable, was almost overwhelming.
“Of course you can. We want you here. Your mom and I always want you here.” I could hear the now more than ever even though he didn’t say it, and I fought down the lump in my throat as I got to my car.
“I’m leaving the hospital now, I’ll be there soon.”
“Drive safe, kid.” He hung up, and I got inside, clenched my hands on the wheel, and took a deep breath. I wasn’t abandoning Andreas. He understood that, probably better than I did. We all had to go where we were needed, and right now my parents needed me. There were arrangements to be finalized, decisions to be made. I didn’t even know what had happened to Asher’s bod—to his body—
“Stop it.” I couldn’t think about that yet, not and drive safe like Vic had asked. I forced all my emotions back and started the car.
It was a quick trip back to the house, and that was good, because I was flagging with exhaustion by the time I got there. I turned off the car, hauled myself out of it, and headed slowly up the stairs to the front door. My mom had it open before I could do it myself, her eyes wide and bright. “Oh, sweetheart.” She reached for me, and I walked into her arms and buried my face in her hair. She smelled like vanilla and sugar and fresh-baked bread.
“Mom.” I could barely get the word out; it felt like my throat was closing in on itself. A second later Vic’s arms spread across my shoulders, and I all but collapsed into their strength. I started crying, and I couldn’t stop.
“C’mon, son, let’s take this inside, huh? Jessica, let the boy breathe.”
“He’s fine,” my mother said, one hand stroking the back of my head. “He’s just fine.”
I didn’t feel fine, but I thought I might get there eventually.
The memorial service was nice, as these things went.
Mom rented out a nearby church to fit everyone in. My parents weren’t particularly religious, and Asher never had been at all, but it was a pretty place, the pews illuminated with Prismacolor sunlight streaming in through the stained glass windows. Plus, the rental included tables, tablecloths, and serving dishes, which was good because my mother had made enough food to feed an army and she was determined that everyone get a bite of it.
About a hundred people showed up, most of them former coworkers and friends of Asher and his ex-wife Melissa. I was surrounded by lawyers—it felt a little like swimming in a shark tank. There were a few speeches made after everyone had filed inside and sat down, but not by me. Vic talked on the family’s behalf, better able to keep his cool while my mother and I sat silently and clutched each other’s hands. He told some funny stories about Asher as a kid, how he’d been able to talk his way out of anything, how he’d talked me into doing the most ridiculous stunts on his behalf. “Kid was destined to be a lawyer,” Vic said to general appreciation from the crowd.
Melissa talked some, and to my surprise I was able to listen to her without the animosity that used to hit whenever I was reminded of her existence. It had taken me a long while to even be able to speak to her after she and my brother had divorced postdiagnosis, but the more time went on, the more I realized there was no way my brother hadn’t done his share of pushing them apart. Asher had been a lot like Mom, insofar as he absolutely hated having other people take care of him. He had always despised the thought of being a burden.
A few other people got up to talk, but I tuned them out, turning my head and checking the door for probably the fifth time in ten minutes. Andreas was supposed to be discharged today. Well, technically, he was supposed to be discharged tomorrow, but he’d fought Zach tooth and nail to get it fast-forwarded to today so he could be here for the service. His surgery had gone pretty well, but an infection had set in that made the fight a little tougher, and Zach wanted to keep him on IV antibiotics for longer.
“But whatever, don’t listen to me, I’m just your surgeon, what do I know?” he’d said this morning, when it had just been me and Andreas in his room. Marcy had finally flown home with Ben and Casey, although the boys had promised to be back before the month was out for another, hopefully less exciting visit. Emily was back home with Lisa, although she was set to spend a lot of the next few days with Andreas, since Captain Hamilton had insisted on another week’s convalescence for him. Erin was already back at work, and seemed happy to be there.
“If you can’t make it, it’s okay,” I’d told him once Zach left. I’d held the servic
e back for as long as I could, but as Vic put it, Asher’s ashes weren’t getting any warmer. People needed closure.
Andreas had pinned me in place with his stare. “I’ll be there.”
I hoped he would be, but I wasn’t holding my breath at this point. I was ready for this whole thing to be over, honestly, but once the speeches were done, it was time for the receiving line. Which—whatever fucker had invented this, I wanted to punch him in the teeth. My folks did okay with it, Vic shaking hands and Mom accepting hugs with all her natural graciousness. Fuck that, I wasn’t hugging any of these people who hadn’t bothered to come and visit my brother during years’ worth of seclusion, not even in the beginning when he would have recognized them, when he could have—
“You look like you want to bite someone’s head off.”
“Oh, Jesus Christ.” How had Andreas gotten right in front of me without me even noticing? I didn’t care that there was a line behind him and he was on crutches, I threw my arms around his neck and held on for dear life. He held me back, hard, just as hard as I needed, and I felt the tension in my jaw slowly release. “Fuck, thank God. When did you get here? How did you get here?”
“Erin dropped me off.” His voice was a comforting rumble against my temple. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”
“I don’t care, you’re here now.”
“Hey, Darren.” Vic set a steady hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you and Andreas go sit down, huh? Jessica and I have got this. Get the man some food too—you look like shit, son.”
“You’re nothing but charm, Vic,” Andreas said. We disentangled and left the line behind, heading over to an unclaimed pew and getting off our feet. Andreas did look tired, washed out, and in just enough pain to make the lines at the corners of his eyes deepen, but he was here. He was with me, and I hadn’t realized how much I needed him until he’d shown up.
“How’d it go?”
I shrugged, sitting close enough to Andreas that our shoulders brushed with my movement. “Fine. Good turnout, lots of people saying nice things, and better yet, everyone’s eating. It’s everything my mom wanted.”