Carnal had reached out to him and said, “Crave,” but Crave hadn’t known his brother. So he didn’t respond. The scene continued to replay in his mind. He watched Carnal fall in a heap at his feet. When he turned he saw people charging toward him. He didn’t know them, thought they were Rautt, and he was determined not to be taken alive again.
So he shoved Carnal over, pulled the knife out of his back, and slashed it, with brutal force, across the face of the first person to arrive at the scene; the person who brought him into the world and had sacrificed so much to lovingly care for him every minute of every day. His mother, Serene.
Crave’s head went back when his lungs filled with air and he let out a roar of anguish that frightened Max, understandably. But because Max’s experience with Exiled had been good, he was as much concerned for the male who resembled his friend, Carnal, as he was scared. So he ran ahead through the gate to find help.
Since everyone within a mile had heard Crave, they already knew something bad had happened and several males moved quickly past Max, looking at him with curiosity, but not stopping to find out why he was there.
When Flora hurried his way, she did slow down to hear what Max had to say. “Someone’s in trouble.” He pointed to the road where it stopped at the gate to Newland.
“What do you mean, child?” she said.
“There’s a big guy who looks a lot like Carnal who’s having, I don’t know, a seizure or a heart attack or something.”
Flora nodded and hurried toward the gate.
The males who had run to see what alarm had caused such an outcry, squatted around Crave and looked lost as to what to do next.
She knelt in the dirt beside Crave. “What’s happened, Crave?”
He looked up at her with haunted eyes. “Flora?”
Her breath caught. “You remember,” she whispered. “Let’s get you home. So you can have some privacy with your family.”
She pulled on him, urging him to his feet. He stood shakily, but noticed the boy was standing by. “Why’re you here?”
“Carnal told me that he owed me a favor and that, if I ever needed anything, to come here and have someone fetch him.”
Understanding shone from Flora’s eyes. “Ah, Carnal. He was special. He’s gone now.”
“When will he be back?”
She shook her head. “He’s gone to Summerland. He won’t be back.”
Max looked confused and then shocked. “You mean he’s dead?”
“Come back tomorrow. Ask for Free. He will pay Carnal’s debt to you.”
Max turned to go, but stopped and said, “But nobody else is like Carnal.”
Hearing that truth from the lips of a human boy brought a sob from deep in Crave’s chest.
“You are right, human. But Carnal’s father will still want to help you. Ask for Free.”
Crave and Flora passed a couple of curious onlookers on the walk from the main gate to the Extant’s house. She opened the door. “Hello. Anybody here?”
She pushed Crave into the house and closed the door.
“I’m here,” Free said, emerging from the kitchen.
It only took one look at his son for Free to know that Crave’s memories had returned and that the depth of grief had been excruciating, judging by the look on his face. Free stepped up to his son and put his big arms around him. Crave grabbed on like a drowning man grabbing a lifesaver. Free couldn’t remember seeing Crave cry since he was a toddler, but he welcomed the emotional release that was the beginning of healing what was left of their family.
“Go get Serene at the school,” Free told Flora quietly. “Then send someone you can trust to keep this quiet to get Dr. Reising.”
Flora nodded and hurried away.
Free guided Crave into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for him to sit. Having been mated to Serene for nearly three decades, he went on autopilot and did what he knew she would have done if she’d been there. He put a kettle of water on the stove to boil for tea then turned back to his son.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Crave’s voice cracked when he tried to speak. He cleared his throat and started again. “I was going out for a run. When I got to the gate a human boy was coming up the road. He said Carnal had told him that if he ever needed anything to come to Newland and ask for him.” He glanced up at his father, but didn’t feel like he could look Free straight in the eyes. “I guess hearing Carnal’s name…” He trailed off and scrubbed a hand down his tear-streaked face.
“You remember everything?”
Crave shook his head. “I don’t know. I remember Carnal. And… Mom.” He looked up at Free. “And you.”
The front door was opened with such force that it banged against the wall just as the tea kettle began to whistle. Serene rushed through the kitchen door with eyes too bright and chest heaving from sprinting home.
She took one look at Crave and, like Free, could see that her son was at home in his own body. Her hands fluttered to her face just before she closed the rest of the distance between them. Crave rose, cupped her face in his hands, and looked at the damage for a long time. He kissed every scar then let her put her arms around him, awkwardly because he was so much bigger, and rock him back and forth.
“Your face,” he whispered.
“Not important,” she said, pulling back. She searched his eyes, thrilling to the fact that he was home. “For so long we thought you were dead. Then we found you alive, but only got your body back. Until you have children of your own, you won’t understand what this means to me, Crave.”
Flora never left a job to someone else when she could do it herself. Free said someone she could trust. Well, who could she trust more than herself? No one.
She hadn’t ridden a bike in a long time, but she was fairly sure she still knew how to do it. She marched into the Bike Barn.
Gris said, “Flora. You don’t come ‘round often. What do you need?”
She pointed at a bike. “That one running?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because I need a ride.”
“Wait a minute.”
“Wait yourself. I’m on an errand for the Extant.”
That was just about the only thing she could have said that would cause Gris to back away. “You sure you know how to ride?”
“You remember how to suck your mother’s tit?” she spat as she straddled the bike and started it.
“You’re going to ride without leathers?”
“No time,” she said, and she sped away like she’d been riding every day of her life with no intermissions.
She raced down the mountain, through the valley suburbs, or what had been the valley suburbs at one time, feeling lighthearted and youthful about what it meant to have Crave back, body and mind. She pulled into town center hoping she’d find Charming quickly. He hadn’t been mentioned, but she knew something about taking initiative. After all, she’d almost single-handedly kept an entire Colony healthy for a generation.
She took it as confirmation that Fate was with her when she spotted Charming right away, as soon as the park came into view. He was bent over a table of plans with Red. Both Charming and the master builder looked up. It would have been hard to say their surprise was due to having someone ride over the grass right up to the table where they were working, or whether it was because that someone was Flora. On a bike. By herself.
A small line formed almost immediately between Charming’s brows. It was a shame that, in his young life, he’d already decided that something out of the ordinary meant bad news.
“What’s happened?” he asked, straight to the point.
“Your brother’s memory is back.” To Red she said, “Keep it quiet. The family needs some time to sort things through.” To Charming she said, “You go home. I’ll get Dr. Reising.”
Charming’s jaw had set firm, like he was controlling emotion. He nodded with a jerk and stomped toward his motorcycle without another word.
Twenty m
inutes later he was opening the front door of the Extant’s house. After stepping inside and closing the door, he stood still for a minute, listening to quiet voices coming from the kitchen. A part of him wanted to rush in. Another part wanted to turn and go. He took a deep breath and marched forward, determined to handle what needed to be handled.
Crave was sitting at the end of the table, their parents on either side of him. All three looked up when he entered the room.
In spite of everything, Crave managed a little smile for his brother. Charming grinned in response and braced for the hug he could see was coming his way. They grabbed each other around the shoulders and beat each other on the back.
Charming hadn’t remembered how much Crave resembled Carnal, but he’d been pretty young when Crave had been captured.
“When did this happen?” Crave said, eyeing his little brother up and down. “You’re looking eye to eye with me.”
“Things change.” Charming shrugged.
Crave smiled and reached up to ruffle Charming’s hair. “Not everything. Your hair’s the same. It’s almost as light as Dandy’s.”
He turned back to his parents smiling. Then they watched as the winsome smile melted away. It was replaced by a look of horror. “Dandy,” he whispered. He turned and started to charge the door, but Charming filled the threshold with his body and stopped him.
Crave looked puzzled. “What are you…?”
“She’s not here,” Charming answered before Crave even finished the question.
“What do you mean not here? Where would she be?”
Charming looked at their parents as if to get confirmation on whether or not he should say more.
“She’s gone across the wasteland. She works at the orphanage for Rautt kids.”
“Rautt kids?” His nostrils flared as if he couldn’t stand the smell of the word ‘Rautt’. “Why would she do that?”
And with that simple question, the last puzzle piece fell into place and clicked. His mind replayed it all.
Not in real time.
In an instant.
Still, he got the full psychological assault of events. He remembered waking up in the holding facility floor to see Dandelion sleeping on the floor outside his cell. He remembered the confusion in her eyes when she realized he didn’t know her.
“Ah, gods,” he half-cried. “I hurt her. I have to find her.”
“I don’t think that’s the best course of action, brother,” Charming said. “I think you need to settle in, take things slow, figure out what you’re going to do.”
Crave stared at Charming. “When were you put in charge?”
“When this family was chewed up and spit out again,” Charming snapped without thinking. He immediately regretted what he’d said and wished he could take it back. He looked around the room. “Sorry. I don’t know what that was about. All the high emotion, I guess.”
He looked at Crave. “In any case, like it or not, you’ve got to talk to the doc. Let her check you out. Make sure everything’s okay.”
“Everything is okay. I need to find my Promise and explain.”
“Explain? What are you going to say?” Charming narrowed his eyes. “How much do you remember?”
“About what, specifically?”
“About what Dandy might have seen after you were released from the holding facility.”
“What are you talking about? Why don’t you just speak plain and…?”
Charming watched the realization change Crave’s expression. “She saw me with…”
“Midnight. Yeah.”
“Just Midnight?”
“Holy hel, Crave! Yes. As far as I know it was just Midnight. She left the next morning.”
Crave half fell, half slumped into a chair. The way he felt about Dandelion, he would rather have taken a lashing every day for the rest of his life than have her hurt because of something he did.
Crave’s eyes were fixed on something on the wall that only he could see. “I promised her no other females. When we were still kids. I promised her.”
Serene got up, pulled an apron over her head, tied the strings behind her back, and quietly began assembling the ingredients to make cinnamon rolls. It was what she’d always done for Crave when he needed to be cheered up and she was pretty sure she was looking at the low point of his life.
“Have you seen her?” he asked Charming.
Charming shook his head. “No, but Serene has.”
Crave’s head jerked toward his mother.
She wiped her hands on her apron and looked at Crave. “She’s fine. She’s settled in. We built some temporary facilities for the children. She takes care of a group of eleven-year-olds and is doing a fine job of it.”
Crave nodded like he was lost in thought. “I can see her doing that. She’d be good at it.”
While they waited for Dr. Reising, Charming told Crave all about the impending move to Farsuitwail, about Rosie insisting that they find out what the humans were up to, and about Carnal’s demand that they jump up in the dark of night, marshalling a force that included humans in a desperate attempt to rescue Crave in the middle of a thunderstorm and eliminate the Rautt threat forever.
Now and then Crave would glance at his father, as if for verification. Free would give a nod of confirmation and Charming would continue. When Serene put a platter of hot rolls dripping with caramel icing on the table in front of Crave, he reached for one without thinking, while he was engrossed in the story that Charming was telling.
It pulled at Serene’s heartstrings to see Crave unconsciously reach for a roll, undoubtedly looking for comfort wherever he could find it.
When Charming finished, Crave said, “It’s a lot to take in.”
They all turned toward the door when they heard a knock at the front of the house.
Charming was already up and moving toward the front door as he said, “I’ll get it.”
Flora stood on the porch with Dr. Reising, who said, “I’m going to need to see him alone.”
Charming nodded, “Goes without sayin’. Come in.” To Flora he said, “Thank you. In your debt.”
“I’ll hold that chit,” Flora said, tilting her chin up so that she could pretend to look down on Carnal. “Want a nice place to work when we move in with the humans.”
Charming laughed. “Done.”
“And you can take that contraption back to the shed for me. My ass cheeks are stuck together. Somebody else’ll have to ride the doc back to town.”
He chuckled. “You want a cinnamon roll?”
“Wouldn’t turn one down. I’ll wait out here.”
The door opened. Free and Serene emerged.
“We’re leaving them alone,” Free said.
Charming passed him on the way into the house. “I said Flora would get a roll. If you leave Crave alone with them, there won’t be any left.”
Free and Serene looked back at Flora, who smiled and shrugged. “Congratulations are in order.”
Serene smiled. “Indeed. It’s a fine day.”
Charming emerged with a roll wrapped in a napkin and handed it to Flora.
“Much obliged,” she said and walked off.
“I’m going to return this bike,” Charming said to his parents. “Want to meet me at the Commons?”
“No,” said Free. “We’ll just wait here.”
“Okay. Be right back then.”
Inside the kitchen, Crave asked Dr. Reising if she would have a cup of tea and grudgingly offered one of the cinnamon rolls to go with it. Since Charming had taken another, there were only three left. So he wasn’t entirely unhappy when she declined.
“They look wonderful, but I’ll just have the tea. Thank you,” she said.
He set a cup in front of her, poured hot water, and sat down.
“So. I’ve been told some of your memories have returned.” He nodded. “What were the circumstances?”
“A human kid came up the road and said my brother, Carnal, owed him a favor. That�
��s when it happened.”
“At the mention of your brother’s name?”
“I guess.”
“Did you remember everything all at once?”
“No. First I remembered seeing Carnal die. Then I remembered the injury I did to my mother.”
Reising could tell by the way he looked away that it was difficult for him to talk about those memories.
“Do you recall events from your captivity by the Rautt?”
His mouth tightened and she saw his jaw clench. “If I’m honest, I have to say that I’m remembering a lot of things I wish I could forget.”
She nodded. “Considering what you’ve been through, that’s quite normal. I’m sorry, but I have to ask if you recall what happened between the time you were recovered and the time you were released with restriction?”
“You mean when I was in that makeshift jail?”
“Yes.”
“No. The only thing I remember is waking up with no clothes on.” He didn’t see the need to mention that he woke up looking into Dandy’s beautiful eyes and seeing hope flare before he revealed that he didn’t remember her. Reising didn’t need to know everything.
She nodded. “Okay. So how do you feel?”
He barked out a laugh that sounded more like a pejorative than an expression of amusement.
“How do I feel? I watched my brother murdered right in front of my face. Within seconds of that I permanently disfigured my own mother. Then I hurt my Promise by paying intimate attention to other females right in front of her, after I’d given my oath that would never happen.” His smile turned bitter and his tone was sarcastic. “Feel peachy, doc. How ‘bout you?”
“Your reactions, to the circumstances and to me, are understandable. I’m going to lift your restriction and let you get on with your life the way you see fit. You won’t be required to take sessions with me from here on, but I will be available to chat if you ever feel the need.”
“Okay.”
Crave couldn’t manage pretending that he cared much either way.
When she stood and extended her hand, he got up and accepted the gesture, thinking her hand felt tiny as a child’s and wondering how such fragile creatures as humans managed to survive. He stayed in the kitchen after she left, thoughts circling like a whirlwind.
CRAVE (Exiled Book 2) Page 11