"Crisis averted!" Gus cheered from behind me.
Emily jumped and the movement pulled her face away from my hold. I blinked a few times, my head clearing and the tightness in my chest starting to fade.
Gus was standing there with a heaping plate of food in his hand, reminding me that the whole Kara situation had interrupted us from getting our own food and Emily still hadn't eaten.
"Why don't you grab your plate and go find my dad? I'll be there in a minute, okay?" I took a step back from her and let her go.
"Okay," her voice cracked. Then she quickly turned away and picked up the plate she had been working on a few minutes before and made her way across the patio.
I watched her go. Took in the sway of her hips and the lines of her body wrapped in white. I couldn't look away if I wanted to.
"Does it matter now?" Gus asked and instead of being an ass, he actually sounded like he cared. Like he was worried about me.
Once Emily was out of sight, I turned to my brother, desperate to find a solution to the trouble I was in. We had been as close as brothers could possibly be. He was one of my best friends and the only person besides Luke that I could count on to help me out of a really tight spot. Yeah, he gave me a hard time, but that's what brothers do. I knew he would take a bullet for me and I would do the same for him.
Right now, I needed him to give it to me straight. Smack me in the back of the head like he did when I was being a dumbass. Say the right words to pull me out of the hole I was digging around myself.
He didn't say anything. He just stood there, waiting for me to figure it out.
"It can't, Gus."
He nodded, a solemn expression covering his face as he set his massive plate of food on the table next to him. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and looked right into my eyes. "Maybe for once, you let it."
"Damn it, Fergus. That's not what I need to hear and why is everyone pushing this?" I snapped as I pulled away from his hand. "I have a job to do. It's too dangerous to get attached."
He raised his hands in surrender, "I get it, brother. I do. But we all see it. Even if you refuse to."
Mine.
The one word that kept running through my head, proving that what my brother was saying was exactly right.
***
Twenty five steps from truck to stairs. Ten stairs. Eighteen steps from top of stairs to door of apartment.
We had moved all of our stuff into the new apartment, not that there was very much, but Ash insisted on sending a number of pointless things with Emily. Instead of helping her, I threw my few things into the spare bedroom and ran away with the excuse of pacing the area. I'd already done it about five times too many and ran out of reasons to stall going back inside.
Where Emily was.
I had been standing outside that apartment door for the last five minutes, staring at the crooked '4' on the front of it and wishing I could take off and leave her in there by herself. Never look back.
I couldn't hear her moving around in there, but I imagined she was moving. Moving in that way that made my head spin. She may not be wearing that white dress that clung to her curves, but she could be wearing butcher paper and I would still know they were there. My fingers would still be begging me to reach out to her and grab on.
After that kiss at the party, I could hardly think of anything other than her soft lips every time I looked at her. It hadn't stopped me from doing my job, but it certainly wasn't helping my frame of mind.
I raised my hand to the door knob, then dropped it back to my side.
"Damn it."
Being alone with her wasn't a good idea, but I didn't have a choice. When I found her once again at the party, laughing with my father as he introduced her to his friends and colleagues, I made a decision. When we had to put on a show, I would put on the best fucking show people had ever seen. No one would be able to doubt that we were honestly together. When we were alone, I would keep my distance. She had to know that it was just me doing my job.
And I had to keep telling myself that's all it was.
As the party had started to wind down, I kept up the act a little longer than I probably should have, but it was an opportunity to finally talk to her openly. We sat with my family around one of the tables stuffing our faces with the cake Ash had been so proud of and Emily easily fit right in. Seeing her talk with Ash like they were long lost friends and watching her handle Gus better than anyone else could made me forget the reason we even met.
Before we all went our separate ways, Ash pulled me aside.
"You've been smiling more tonight, Con."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I smile all the time."
"No. You don't."
"Doesn't matter."
She sighed, "You keep saying that, but it does."
Frustration built and for the first time, I actually wanted my sister to keep telling me what I didn't want to hear.
I thought about everything that had happened so far and it didn't change the fact that I was still staring at the closed door, stalling. I took a deep breath and forced myself to reach for the door knob again. It turned before I could even touch it and the door swung open.
Emily's wide green eyes looked surprised when she saw me standing there looking like a moron. Her hands were full, one holding a full garbage bag and the other a broken box. It hit me all over again that I was going to be living with her.
For a while.
Alone.
"What are you doing?"
I scratched the back of my neck and blinked down at her. Damn, why'd she have to be so pretty? "Um, I was pacing."
"What is pacing exactly? You were gone before I could ask," she grinned, flashing a glimpse of her white teeth, then stepped aside to let me in.
"I've gotta know how many steps it takes to get to different points around the apartment complex. Door to stairs, stairs to truck. That kind of thing."
"Oh," she said with a nod, her brow furrowed.
"Just in case," I added.
"Makes sense."
I reached out for the garbage bag, but she pulled it back and twisted her body away so I couldn't get to it. Her eyes narrowed at me and she frowned, as if she wasn't sure I had good intentions.
If she only knew.
"What are you doing?"
I paused with my hand stretched out in front of me and my fingers so close to her waist that I just needed to stretch them out and I could touch her. But that would go against my rules.
Rules were made to be broken.
"Shut up," I mumbled under my breath.
"What?"
If she knew the things going through my head, would she run? Would she let me touch her like she had at the party?
"I'm taking the garbage out for you," I said slowly.
She looked so vulnerable as she watched me, waiting. Like she was expecting me to say "Just kidding".
"Why?"
I chuckled and reached for the bag again, she let me take it this time. "Because I can and because it's safer if I do it, and because I should."
She blinked up at me, then looked down at my hand as I reached for the broken box and took it from her. "Oh."
I didn't have to ask to know that she'd probably never had anyone take care of her. Her brother had most likely taken advantage of whatever she gave him and never showed any gratitude. I may have set some rules for myself while we were here, but that didn't mean I needed to treat her like shit. Mom would come back to haunt me if I did.
My entire 'act like an asshole to keep her away' plan was thrown out the door entirely.
"Why don't you call for some take out. Gus gave me a couple menus to have on hand, they're on the counter. I'll take this stuff and then come back and finish what I gotta do."
I turned away before she had a chance to disagree and felt her eyes burning down my back as I made my way to the stairs. I was frustrated and not just because there was a very palpable tension between us, but because it was getting harder and
harder for me to discover more and more about her past and the kind of family she grew up with.
When Ash was born, Gus and I were typical older brothers. It was exciting to have a baby in the house at first, but we mostly just wanted to play. When Ash turned 3, she was the typical younger sister. Following us around everywhere we went and begging to be included. It was after she fell from the tree Gus, Luke, and I had been climbing and hit her head that things changed drastically.
Mom and Dad rushed her to the doctor, leaving us to fend for ourselves for a few hours. During that time, the three of us had a very serious discussion.
The fear that had consumed us when we saw her fall was nauseating and we never wanted to feel that way again. We vowed right then and there to protect our little sister and never let anyone or anything ever hurt her again. When they got back from the hospital, we told Mom and Dad what we talked about and Dad shrugged and said we should have been doing that from the beginning. It was our job to protect our sister and it was our job to protect our mother when he couldn't.
Simple enough instruction for us and coming from Liam Brannock, it was gold.
But Mom… she had burst into tears and pulled the three of us into her arms. By then, Luke was used to Isabelle Brannock's loving nature and the easy way she included him, but it was her words that locked in our concept of family.
"Family is the only thing you have to turn to when life throws you to the ground. A lot of people don't have that kind of unconditional love, boys. We do and God doesn't ever ignore the love shared between brothers and sisters, blood related or not," she said firmly as she looked at Luke. "He immerses Himself in it and surrounds us with even more of that love. No matter what happens in your lives, don't forget to look out for each other."
She let us go and wiped her tears away, peering down at three little boys who had determination written all over their faces.
"One day, all three of you will find a woman who loves you unconditionally, the way your sister and I do. She'll see the way you protect your family and she'll give you everything." She waved the three of us away and tried to sound firm enough to lighten the mood, "Don't give me any reason to warn that girl away."
Lost in my thoughts, I made my way back up to the apartment after tossing the garbage in the dumpster. Something as simple as taking the garbage out in our house had been praised by Mom and rewarded with gratitude. Dad said, "The day your mother or sister have to do it on their own is the day you've forgotten yourselves."
I never realized that something so simple could have such an effect on a person. Until now.
I guarantee that Rayce Dawson forgot himself a long time ago. He left Emily to suffer the harshness of this world alone. He was her family and he had abandoned her and it pissed me off.
I walked into our new apartment and heard Emily on the phone ordering Chinese. It wasn't my responsibility to show her how she should have been treated all these years. It wasn't my duty to do anything but keep her safe and follow orders. But when I walked into the kitchen and saw her there, her blonde hair in a messy braid over her shoulder, her curves emphasized by the yoga pants and tight pink tank top she was wearing, and her big green eyes that flickered with awareness when she saw me watching her, I knew. I knew that she was the one Mom had been talking about all those years ago. I knew she was the one Dad was talking about when he pulled us aside after Mom walked away still catching her tears.
"It's your job to protect the women in your lives. Especially the ones that love you unconditionally, like Mom said. But let me tell you a secret." He leaned into the three of us and the serious expression on his face softened and I just knew he was thinking of my mother. "It won't feel like a job when you find the right one. It's a need you'll have that will overpower all the others. And it's worth every second."
It was a need to protect Emily. It was a need to show her what she deserved even if it wasn't my job to show her.
But I had the feeling that my job description was about to change and no one had ever stopped me from doing my job.
Chapter 5
Emily
"It's so nice to finally meet you, Emily. Ash told me so much about you."
Emily shook the outstretched hand of her new boss and tried to ignore the fact that Conall was sitting right out in front of the school in case anyone wanted to come to her new job and take her out. This whole thing was a nightmare for her already heightened anxiety that even Conall couldn't help relieve.
He had been very attentive to her over the weekend, making sure she was comfortable when they strayed from the apartment, keeping her distracted when her worries over her brother and the trial consumed her. He talked to her like they had known each other for more than just a few days and when it came to his family, she felt like she was a part of them.
He had done that for her and it was getting harder to separate what was real and what wasn't. She was getting more comfortable being alone with him. A good idea? Maybe. Maybe not. It was a nice change to feel comfortable talking to someone for once. She had probably shared more than she should have, but he gave her an open invitation.
Being with him made her forget the reasons they had even met in the first place. Sometimes.
"Well, I hope it was all good things," she replied.
The older woman, Margie, smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "It was. She seemed so excited that her oldest brother finally had a good woman and the rest of us are as well. Little Conall was such a sweet boy growing up. His mother taught those kids well and it's been our hope that he finds someone that suits him. From what Ash says, you two were made for each other."
She swallowed passed her nervousness. This was the story they had to go with because nothing else would be as convincing, but after that one kiss at the party a few nights ago, it was getting too easy to pretend she had feelings for him. His arms circling around her, holding her against him, had been an anchor when she felt like she was about to float away. The kiss had been convincing to her. Too convincing and she was afraid of letting it happen again. She could see herself falling for Conall Brannock so easily and that was dangerous no matter how good he looked in a suit. They might be getting to know each other, but she was still a liar and he would eventually hate her for it if he ever found out.
"Thank you. I think so, too."
"I can already tell that Isabelle would have loved you."
She already knew that Isabelle had passed away from cancer years ago, but Conall had told her the details the day they had lunch together after looking at the apartment. The way he spoke about his mother was spectacular and the same went for the rest of his family. From the stories they all told, she was definitely loved by everyone who knew her.
"Isabelle and I were good friends. She was very involved with the school when her kids were young and we all loved her very much. Those kids had a really hard go of it when she died and that Liam was so heartbroken, but he didn't give up on his kids. Isabelle would have haunted him to the end of his days if he had." She chuckled and gestured for Emily to follow her into the office, "If you are the one that was able to lock a man like Conall Brannock down, she definitely would have loved you."
It wasn't the first time someone had implied that Conall wasn't the kind of man to ever settle down. That bitch at the party had been proof of that as well. When she was with him, though, he didn't seem to be that kind of man at all. Her experience with men may have been limited to a few short relationships that ended mutually, but she knew a player when she saw one.
Fergus Brannock? The very definition of a player.
Conall? She just couldn't picture it.
They chatted about Aislinn and Lucas and the coming wedding which Emily pretended to be participating in. Margie told her that she couldn't guarantee more than a few days a week, but that Emily would definitely be high up on the list of available substitute teachers. Something she hadn't expected and was extremely grateful for.
"Alright, we have you starting today in Mrs. Gord
on's classroom. She teaches Geography and has informed me that the students should be spending the majority of the class doing a few worksheets. Here are her instructions," Margie said cheerily and handed over a small stack of papers.
Emily flipped through them and felt the familiar thrill she got whenever she prepared for a day of teaching. It may not be as exciting to other teachers and she knew several that really hated their job to the point that they whined and complained about it whenever they could. Emily, however, lived for teaching. It was amazing to her that the students she taught were dependent on her to give them information they would need for their entire lives. The responsibility had been daunting at first and now, it gave her a satisfaction she never felt before teaching.
"You look like you're ready to face the day," Margie chuckled and made her way around the desk to stand with her again.
Emily smiled and her cheeks felt hot. "I love teaching."
"Good. We need that here. Ash didn't tell me, but are you going to school to get your teaching degree or anything?"
For a split second, Emily had forgotten herself and opened her mouth to tell Margie that she was a teacher in Denver and missed her students terribly, but she quickly snapped it shut and tried to recover. "I'm planning on starting classes next semester. Conall and I thought it would be best to get settled in first."
Margie smiled knowingly and bumped her with her elbow, "You think you two will tie the knot soon?"
"Oh," Emily breathed and looked down at the papers in her hands to avoid the woman's hopeful expression. "I don't know about that. It's still pretty soon."
"Ash told me you have known each other a while."
"Yes, we have," she replied. Shit, this was harder than she thought. "But we wanted to take the time to really get to know each other better. It was more of a long distance friendship anyway," she said quickly, using Conall's own words.
Margie waved her hand dismissively, letting her off the hook, "Oh, I understand that. You two have plenty of time. I'm impressed, though. Kids these days rush into marriage so quickly that they don't realize how little they know about each other."
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