"Why the hell are you even digging into this? Let the lawyers deal with-"
I interrupted him because I'd already told myself the same things, but it didn't work then so it wasn't going to work now. "Luke, listen to me. Her brother is involved with Lucien's enemy. How come the kid isn't doing what it takes to get her out of this shit? He would certainly benefit. Emily is the only reason this guy is locked up. She called the police and claimed she was at the hotel because of a one night stand. Now, come on. Tell me you believe that. Emily? A one night stand?"
"You're too close to this, Con. You gotta take a step back."
Sighing, I dropped my head in my hand and let the phone dangle in my fingers still pressed against my ear. "The first day I met her, she pretty much had a sign on her head that said she could never do anything like that, Luke."
"So? Maybe she decided she wanted to for one night. Lots of people do. You used to do it all the time, remember?"
"No."
"Con! You're letting jealousy direct your reasoning. Forget who Emily is and look at it objectively."
I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head to the desk. It was jealousy. The thought of another man having that part of her was enough to make me want to track down this Trent Marks and put my fist through his face.
Luke was right and I had almost royally screwed up. I wanted Emily and it was messing with the way I did my job.
"You're right. I'm sorry, I just got carried away."
He was silent for a few seconds before he suggested something I had thought of before, but didn't have the heart to do. "You shouldn't even be digging, but if you think you need to know everything, why don't you just ask her?"
"She doesn't like to talk about it. I can see it every time it comes up."
"Well, she's going to be talking about it a lot in a couple months. Help her practice."
He was right… again.
"Why do I ever doubt you?" I chuckled into the phone, my head still plastered against the desk.
"Because it's good to doubt every once in a while. We're all human, we all make mistakes. Especially when it comes down to someone we care about."
"I care too much, Luke. It's making me insane seeing her every day and not being able to…"
"I get it, man. I do. I don't know what to tell you except to step back first. Talk to her. Don't fuck this up. If she means that much to you…"
A soft knock at the door made me lift my head, "I'll ask her, but not yet. Gotta go. Thanks for the help."
I hung up before he could respond and made my way to the door after straightening the files and tucking them away for later. Another knock sounded just as I reached for the door knob.
Emily was standing on the other side, her face glowing and her smile lighting up the darkened hallway. "Ash and I are done."
I stepped out into the hall and shut the office door behind me. She took a small step back to make room for me, but she was still close and I could still feel the warmth radiating from her.
I was too close. Too close to all of it, but damn it if I could step away.
"You look like you've been having a good time," I teased and without realizing it, my hand was brushing a lock of her hair back behind her ear. I couldn't stop there, I smoothed the back of my knuckles down her flushed cheek and watched her eyes slowly close, that perfect smile still taunting me.
She opened her eyes, the green in them darkened and heated. I could get lost in those eyes.
What am I doing?
I cleared my throat and dropped my arm. "Let's go get you a phone, then."
Her smile faltered and her eyes flickered with caution, but she turned away from me and started toward the front door. "Sounds good."
I followed after her as Luke's words stayed on repeat in my head.
"Because it's good to doubt every once in a while."
Chapter 6
Conall
"I still don't understand why they felt the need to end it like that! I mean, it's the one thing that the audience is waiting for the whole movie and they just cut it off right when he's going to fight the wolf?"
We had just watched The Grey, finished it about ten minutes ago and she was still fired up about the ending. She had been so intrigued during the whole thing and anytime I asked her if she wanted anything from the kitchen, she shushed me and never took her eyes from the screen. It gave me the opportunity to watch her seeing as how I'd already seen the movie a few times. As soon as the credits rolled, her jaw dropped open and her emerald eyes darted back and forth between me - who was trying hard not to laugh - and the TV. If I hadn't been sitting clear on the other side of the couch, I would have kissed the surprise right off of her face.
"I think they have an alternate ending that shows the fight, but this one didn't have it."
She tossed the now empty bag of popcorn on the coffee table and threw her hands in the air. "Well, why the hell didn't they just use that ending?"
I laughed as I stood and started to clean up all the junk food bags and our drinks. "You should write a letter."
"Maybe I will!"
Her tone was serious, but I caught the smile on her face out of the corner of my eye. I walked into the kitchen, tossed the garbage, and rinsed out our cups. When I turned around, she was sitting at the table resting her chin in her hand. She had a peaceful shine in her eyes that surprised me. The constant emotion and stress that was always on her face was gone and for a moment, I wished it could stay that way. Here with me.
"Other than the ending, did you like the movie?" I asked and took the seat across from her.
"Yes! It was great. I love those kinds of movies. No freaky murderers or ridiculous monsters. It was exactly what I needed."
"Good."
"Thank you, Con. Everything has been so crazy lately, it was nice to just relax for a couple hours."
I nodded in acknowledgement of her gratitude, but kept my eyes on hers. I had told Luke I was going to ask her about the night she found Ripley in that hotel, but I was planning to wait until she brought it up somehow. Now, I just felt the need to get it over with. She would most likely shut me down, but I'd take what I could get.
"I apologize ahead of time, but there are a few things we should probably talk about."
She tensed and dropped her hands into her lap, "Okay."
"I need you to know that I've been in contact with my captain and he's been sending me everything he has on the Ripley case."
Her brow furrowed and she blinked a few times before she again said, "Okay."
"What were you doing at that hotel, Emily?"
She looked down at her hands, but the blush that covered her cheeks was hard to miss. She spoke slowly and kept her eyes pointed downward. "It's all in my statement. I don't think I need to rehash what happened that night."
"True. I just find it hard to-"
"I don't want to repeat everything I said that night, okay?" she snapped, her eyes narrowing on me. Those emeralds flickered with anxiety before she pulled them away from me once more. "It was something I had never done before and something I won't be doing again. I'll have to tell it all over again at the trial, but not here. Not with you."
Not with me.
I knew she trusted me, knew it in my soul and I didn't want to give her any reason to lose that trust, but I was supposed to keep her safe. At first, my confidence in keeping the situation under control was staggering. Then I got to know her better and nothing made sense. If the constant niggling in the back of my mind wasn't telling me that we were missing something important, I would have left it at that.
"And your brother?" I added, feeling guilty for putting that look in her eyes but needing to press on. "How has he handled it?"
She stared at me with wide eyes before standing from the table, "I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to him since the police told me to say goodbye and threw me into some safe house that was hardly safe."
She turned to walk out of the kitchen, but I reached out and circled my fing
ers around her wrist, effectively stopping her from walking away from me. "He isn't doing anything? Nothing to try to protect his sister?"
She didn't turn back to look at me for a long moment, but when I heard her sniff, I tugged on her wrist and she stumbled back to me as I stood. I turned her to face me and laid my hands on her slumped shoulders. "Hey, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know what's going on in your head. You've been so close mouthed about it and I didn't want it to build and build until you couldn't take it anymore."
Lies for the most part, but in a sense, truth. I didn't want her to crack under the pressure, but I was almost certain she wouldn't. She was too strong and too loyal.
"My brother has more important things to worry about."
I put my finger under her chin and lifted her beautiful face so I could see it completely. Her nose was red and her plump lips had turned down into a frown that didn't belong on that face beautiful face. A tear fell down her cheek and without realizing what I was doing, I caught it with my thumb and cupped her cheek. "More important than you?"
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she gazed up at me pleadingly. "We didn't grow up in a loving home like you did, Con. He's trying okay? He said he would do whatever he could to help me."
"And what's that?"
"I don't know. He has people. I just hope it's not anything that pulls him deeper into that world. I couldn't stand it if I was the reason-"
"Emily. He makes his own choices. There's nothing you can do about that."
"That's easy for you to say. Your family is still in one piece."
She sniffed again as her fingers wrapped around my wrist and moved my hand away from her face. She stepped away from me, her green eyes still locked with mine. I had no idea what to say to her, what to do to comfort her.
For the first time since I met her, I had no clue what I was doing.
She turned and thankfully walked out of the kitchen before I could make myself look like even more of an asshole.
I'm not sure how long I stood there and stared at the doorway she had disappeared through, but it was long enough to prove that what I was feeling for her wasn't just about protecting her or doing my job.
Not anymore.
***
"So where is he now?" Gus asked with his arms firmly crossed over his chest.
Emily and I had arrived back at my father's the next night for dinner. She'd been at the school all day, only addressing me when I dropped her off and when she met me at the truck at the end of the day. She was in the kitchen with Ash avoiding me and I was in my father's office with Gus and Luke… avoiding her.
"I don't know. Miller said he'd see what he could do about having Dawson followed, but with no legal precedence besides being her brother, I'm not holding my breath."
"I still find it strange that being as involved as he is with Ripley's shit, he has just gone on with his life. I mean, his sister is in hiding. Being Lucien's enemy, he should be freaking the fuck out, even if he isn't close to Emily. It reflects on him, doesn't it?"
I shrugged and settled into the leather couch against the wall. Luke was sitting in one of the chairs in front of Dad's desk and Gus was leaning against the door. We had been hashing out the details of the case for the last twenty minutes and always came circling back to the fact that the whole thing was a huge pile of shit.
"Not everyone lives the way we do, Gus. Remember what your mom told us when we were kids? We're lucky to be this close. Lucky to have a sense of loyalty toward family," Luke said solemnly.
"Emily is loyal and she wants her family that close. It's her brother that keeps it from happening," I protested. My mood had gone back and forth all day, at its worst when I wasn't near Emily. I'd apologized first thing this morning when we sat at the table for breakfast. She'd accepted my apology, but that was it. She'd been closed off and thoughtful ever since.
Every conversation with Emily convinced me more and more that she loved her family. Even her loser parents. She fought her whole life to keep them together, to show her brother the kind of love that Ash, Gus, and I have. She blamed herself even though she knew it was senseless.
"After everything Rayce did to her, she still loves him. I just hope he's doing what we can't and finding a way to get her out of this mess."
"I doubt that," Gus mumbled.
So do I.
I turned to Luke who hadn't asked many questions, but I knew his mind was mulling over every detail. "Luke?"
He raked a hand through his hair and slouched back in the chair. "I don't know, Con. It could go either way. Dawson's already on Ripley's shit list. It's smart of Emily to not expect much from him, but the whole thing feels too cut and dry."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you."
"Yeah, I know, but it's not the 'why she was there' that you should be asking. It's the 'why is she testifying' that would get you more answers."
I sighed and dropped my head back against the couch. "Already asked, the first day. She's a good person, not testifying would go against her nature."
Luke grunted and shook his head. "Her brother knows what Ripley is capable of. If anything, he should be trying to talk her out of the whole thing. He's more at risk if she goes through with it, being her brother and all. He's got a big fat target on his head, same as her, and a guy like that? He looks out for himself, so what's he doing about it?"
"You think it's a good idea to keep tabs on him then?"
He nodded, "If you are serious about investigating this, it's the only idea. What have you got to lose?"
I was going to have to have another conversation with the captain before the night was over. There may be no legal precedence, but Miller wouldn't hesitate if I pressed.
The loud knock on the door told us that our little discussion was over, "Boys!" a muffled giggle sounded on the other side. "Dinner's ready, get your asses out here."
"Shit, she's been drinking," Luke muttered in response to Ash's demand.
We filed out of the room and made our way to the kitchen where Dad was chatting with the girls about the wedding. All three of them held a glass of Tullamore in their hand and the half empty bottle was an indication that all three of them were good and relaxed.
"Dad, what the hell are you doing with that?" Gus asked with a smile.
My father turned and narrowed his now bright blue eyes on the three of us. "Ye may have a lovin' parent who doesna feel hurt if ye rarely come to visit, but mine are different. Even at 63, I'm terrified of my mum. The closer I get to leaving, the more I feel like a wee lad all over again."
Ash wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, careful not to spill her drink, "Don't worry, Daddy. They'll forgive you eventually. I did. That's saying something."
I heard Luke mumble under his breath behind me before he pushed passed and made his way to Ash. She rarely called him 'Daddy'. She'd had enough to drink for the night.
My eyes found Emily who was just as bright eyed and smiling as she watched all of us interact. When her gaze locked with mine, the room felt like it heated up about fifteen degrees. I know she felt it, because she downed the rest of her glass and turned away from me with a frown. I hated to admit it, but it hurt. I wanted those eyes on me. I wanted her smile to be for me.
"Baby, you know I love you no matter how drunk you are," Luke said quietly to Ash, "but you remember the last time you drank this stuff?"
"I do!" She glared at me and Gus, clearly remembering the lie we had gone along with weeks ago.
"And do you remember what happened the next morning?"
There was a pause before a slow smile stretched across her face, "I do."
Luke grinned at her tenderly and Gus groaned in frustration. "Fuck, don't remind me."
That was a difficult morning for all of us. It had been the morning that the seriousness of Luke and Ash together was firmly planted in our lives and beyond anything my brother or I had been prepared to deal with.
"Mouth, Fergus," Dad scowled.
"I did not swear on my first born child," Ash chuckled.
"You did. You just hadn't been completely awake when you did."
"But Emily and I were having fun. She's been upset about her brother and Con hating him."
"Whoa!" I tried to interrupt, but she kept on going.
"I'm upset about Daddy and Gus leaving and Daddy is upset about Grams and Pappy being mad at him."
"You're upset about me leaving?" Gus chimed in with a frown.
Ash didn't hear him either.
"It's a night to celebrate our family and to have one last good time before we're all separated once more," she slurred.
"Baby," Luke started, but she was on a roll.
"I may think my brothers are assholes most of the time, but I love them and I love my dad and I'll miss them and if three glass of this crap can help us feel better, then damn it, we're going to drink it and feel better!"
Silence.
"Holy shit," Gus mumbled under his breath.
We all waited for Luke to press on and try to convince her to take it easy, but the silence went on and my mind raced with the fact that I had hurt Emily more than I thought. I looked over at her, standing there so stoic even though the color in her face had drained a little and she was avoiding my gaze with obvious effort.
Luke kissed Ash on the forehead and shrugged, "Okay. I get it. Just pour me a glass before the three of you guzzle the rest of it."
"God, I love you!" Ash shouted before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him… kissing him very passionately.
"What the fuck is going on?" Gus looked to me for an answer, but I couldn't take my eyes off the scene in front of me.
"She's drunk."
"Yeah, I got that, but shouldn't we be stopping… whatever that is," he waved a hand at Luke and Ash.
"And do what? She's upset. If that makes her feel better…"
I felt his glare piercing the side of my head. Part of me wanted exactly the same thing he did; tear Luke off our sister and kick his ass for being a pansy. My attention was somewhere else, though. Emily stepped over toward the back door looking like she was about to run, or throw up, I couldn't tell which. Instead of staying and making Gus feel better, I walked passed him and made it to her as soon as her hand was on the door knob. She froze when she felt me next to her, but I didn't stop there. I reached around her and opened the door, my hand on her lower back to guide her outside.
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