by Lexie Ray
“And shipping him here?”
“I had to make sure Mads was somewhere safe. Maria traveled all over Europe, and that maniac had followed her. How could I risk keeping him there? I had hoped that Scotland would be safe. And, not to dismiss the emotional damage I caused, I was right.”
“Why didn’t you stay with him?”
“Daan and Maria were still missing. If there was even the slightest chance that they could be alive, I couldn’t stop looking. I still haven’t.”
“So, you just left an emotionally distraught little boy alone here?”
“He had his servants.”
“Who didn’t speak his language,” Willow pointed out.
“Again, I understand now that something like that could leave a scar.”
“Leave a scar?” Willow cut in. “There is a reason that solitary confinement is used as a punishment in prisons. Do you know what kind of effects it has on an adult? Anxiety, panic, insomnia, paranoia, aggression, and depression. And each of those are just open doors to more severe problems. You’re lucky he turned out as well adjusted as he did.”
“I know. And I’ll never forgive myself for it,” Filip replied, “but I didn’t know what else to do. There was no way to know if the psychopath had help. Servants, family friends, co-workers. I couldn’t trust anyone. I was worried that if Mads could speak with them, he would be vulnerable, or he would learn more about the disgusting rumors about his parents that were flying about.”
“So, everything you did was for him?”
“Everything,” Filip said with a hint of desperation. “I was barely more than a kid myself. Selfish and stupid. And then one day, my life was ripped apart. Suddenly, my family was missing, possibly murdered, and I was in charge of another living being. I did what I did out of desperation and fear. But the damage is done, and Mads refuses to hear me.”
“Yeah, you pretty much shot every chance you had of having a relationship with him in the foot.”
“Not everyone,” Filip corrected as he edged slightly closer to her. “There is you.”
Willow didn’t respond until the dinner bell began to ring through the halls, luring them all back to the main dining room.
Chapter Thirteen
Natalie blinked rapidly as she took a step back from her now completely cluttered board. She had used every inch of her numerous whiteboards and blackboards and still her mind whirled with a thousand thoughts that were bursting to be written down. She searched her lab for some surface that could serve her purposes, her skin buzzing as it tried to contain the full weight of her thoughts.
Her eyes fell on Jai. Engrossed in his book, Jai didn’t pay her any kind of attention. As he turned the page, she noticed how smooth his skin was. It wasn’t the first time she had noticed. Images bombarded her mind. How the firelight made him glow. How his voice grew deeper as his excitement heightened. A shiver slipped down her spine as she remembered, in vivid detail, how he had sounded when he had moaned her name.
She snapped out of her reverie when Jai lifted his bottomless eyes to meet hers. For a moment, he did little more than stare. But when the silence grew too much, his brow furrowed.
“What’s going on, Natalie?”
He didn’t sound nervous, just hesitant, like he wasn’t quite sure that he really wanted to hear the answer.
“I ran out of board space.”
“That’s a shame.”
“I still need to write a few things down before I forget them.”
It was slightly infuriating when his only response was to go back to his book. “I thought you had a great memory.”
It was hard to talk through the onslaught of images. The heave of his chest as his pleasure grew. Sweat glistening over his skin. The ripe head of his cock peeking through his fist with every downward stroke.
“I need something to write on.”
“Use your hand.” It was just a passing comment but provoked more memories of just what he did with his hands.
She licked her lips and said without thought, “I’ll use yours.”
He glanced over the top of his book, eyebrows raised. “Say again.”
“Give me your hand before I forget.”
“There is something you need to add to that sentence.”
With Natalie’s mind cluttered with her work and her memories, there was hardly any space left for her to figure out what he was saying. Her face scrunched up as it occurred to her.
“Are you asking me to say please?”
“I’m telling you to. Or be a normal person and find some paper.”
For a reason that she wasn’t about to question, there was something repulsive in the notion of using any other surface. She picked up the nearest felt-tip pen and uncapped it.
“Please.”
He didn’t look up but lifted the hand that wasn’t currently holding up his book. Pulling a footstool closer, she sat down and began to scribble out the thoughts and formulas that were clogging up her brain. It was like releasing the pressure in a dam. It all flowed out of her in a raging torrent until every last patch of skin on his hand was covered.
When she released his fingers, Jai looked over her work. He seemed equally confused and impressed by what he read, and a slight tremor of pleasure slipped through Natalie at that.
“Some of this is pretty smart.”
“All of it is smart. Your lack of appreciation demonstrates your lack of understanding.”
Instead of being insulted, he just huffed a laugh, shook his head, and went back to his book.
“I’ll need your other hand.”
He turned a page with his thumb. Huffing a breath of frustration, she shifted her weight. “Please.”
Without a word, he passed his book to his already-written on hand. Kindly enough, he reached his hand across his chest, bringing it closer so Natalie wouldn’t have to move her stool. The fire had warmed his skin, making it a pleasant contrast against the chill in the room. The soft felt tip brushed over his skin.
Despite his profession, the palm of Jai’s hands had a few calluses, mostly across the top of his palm and the pad of his thumb. As she scribbled over them, she wondered how they had formed. He had read through a few more pages before she finished.
“I need more space,” she declared.
Shaking his head, he pushed his sleeves up to his elbows. The hand he didn’t use to hold the book, he rested upon the armrest like he was about to give blood. She set to work, a sense of euphoria settling the energy that buzzed through her. He didn’t seem bothered by her work and was quick to fall back into his reading.
His arms were strong and solid but not overly muscular. They were pleasant to both sight and touch and, as much as she tried to push it aside, she remembered all too clearly how the muscles under his skin had rippled and shifted as he had worked himself to climax.
“I need more skin,” she declared.
“You want me to take off my shoes?” he smirked.
“That will do.”
Finally, he put the book down and meet her eyes. “I was joking.”
“In any case, you made the offer and I accepted. Remove your shoes.”
“It’s freezing in here.”
“I will stoke the fire.”
Seeing the hardened resolve in her eyes, he sighed and began to pull at his laces.
“Stoke it a lot,” he grumbled.
Her heart fluttered slightly within her chest as she threw some logs onto the already healthy flames. It was a strange sensation to be in the same room as a man who was stripping. She instantly started chastising herself. She wasn’t a complete stranger to sexual encounters. The fact that he was removing his socks shouldn’t provoke any kind of reaction at all. But the twinge of excitement only grew stronger as she turned around to find him flexing his toes against the chilled floorboards.
He seemed amused and content, and lazily melted back against his seat. Pulling the footstool around to face him, Natalie sat down with as much dignity as she could
muster. It didn’t stop the odd twist in her chest. Jai lifted his foot but didn’t quite place it on the fabric covering her lap. Grabbing his ankle, she pushed it down to rest across her thighs.
“Your feet are clean, are they not?”
“Completely.”
He jolted at the first touch of the pen, his toes curling as he fought the urge to pull away or kick out.
“I did not know that you were ticklish,” she commented as she tightened her grip and continued writing.
“You’re doodling on my foot,” he shot back.
“I am contributing to the evolution of science. The breakthroughs that I am writing now will revolutionize the medical world.”
“You’re saving humanity with my foot,” he smiled.
“Essentially.”
“Well, now it almost seems criminal for my sensitive feet to get in the way.”
“It is. Now, if you will kindly remain silent.”
Jai laughed and spread out his hands as if giving her full rein. This time, however, he didn’t return to his book, but instead took to watching her. Every so often, she would sneak a glance, trying to decipher the expression on his face. At points, he looked fascinated. At others, it almost looked like pride.
She did her best to ignore him and devote herself to her work. In no time at all, Jai’s skin was filled with black ink, and she found herself once again looking for an open patch. She looked over him with a hunger that she wasn’t entirely sure how to fill. It didn’t take more than a moment for him to raise his eyebrows.
“I guess you really need to look for a notebook now,” he smiled.
“No need. Remove your shirt.”
The words were out before she could properly weigh their worth. But as they settled between them, Natalie found that she couldn’t find that she regretted them. A spark of want clawed at her stomach. In that moment, the only two things she wanted in this world were to continue her work and to see how accurate her memory of his physique was.
“You want to write on my chest?”
“I can use your back first, if you prefer.”
“You seriously don’t have a notebook?” he asked.
“Why would I need one? I have you. Now if you could hurry. Please.” She emphasized the last word, her irritation at his reluctance starting to show. He slipped out of his jacket but didn’t go any further. “It’s for science.”
“Science?” he repeated with a smirk before taking a deep breath. “Okay. Fine. For science. If you can find something for me to lie on. I’m not going to stretch out on that stone.”
“Very well.” She stood up and muttered under her breath. “You are so demanding.”
“You’re asking me to strip.”
“For science,” she snapped.
Locating a blanket she often used when the fires burned out, she spread it out close to the fireplace. To keep him from complaining any further, she tossed down a few of the cushions from the chairs. Jai, showing far more shyness than she thought the situation required, knelt down on the blanket.
“If you could hurry this along.” He glared at her, and she snatched up his book. Holding it out to him, she once more forced out, “Please.”
“I really shouldn’t have taught you that,” he muttered like it was some kind of magical spell that would force him to do whatever she asked.
And perhaps, for him, it was, since he grudgingly settled down after hearing it. Awkwardly settling onto his stomach, he shoved the pillow under his chest and reopened his book, but he didn’t go back to reading. Instead, he merely stared at the page.
With the layers of her skirt, it took a bit more time for Natalie to settle down next to his hip. The firelight danced over him just as she had remembered. It brought out the warmer tones in his skin, highlighting the tips of his muscles and creating a valley of shadow along his spine. She traced the dancing patterns of light with her fingertips.
“Your body is healthy.”
Jai turned his head to look at her, a few trails of ebony curls drifting across his face.
“Is that a compliment or an insult? Either case, I get that I’m not as impressive as Dwayne. No need to point it out.”
“The only thing impressive about Dwayne’s body is the number of hours he dedicates to preening it,” she dismissed. “And it was neither flattery nor reprimand. It was a statement of fact.”
Jai once again reacted with a slight, huffed laugh. She was starting to suspect that he was mocking her. What he found so amusing was beyond her. He was healthy. He hadn’t succumbed to a desire for unnecessary bulk or vanity muscle, but kept an alluring mix of definition and weight, strong, but not entirely like stone. It was pleasing, both aesthetically and to the touch. How was it improper for her to remark on that?
She traced the lines of his shoulders and the muscled curves that pushed out from under his skin as he pulled the pillow closer.
“I fail to see how this benefits science,” he mumbled without conviction.
“With your limited IQ, I would imagine that there are many things that you fail to see.”
“Well, I know that one’s an insult.”
Again, that little laugh. She snapped her hand back. “Only fact. Now stop talking.”
“Of course, my lady.”
Natalie’s hand hovered over his back, the tip of the pen an inch above his skin. Warmth flooded through her veins and blossomed in the pit of her stomach. The rough, husky tone of his voice rolled around her title. If the way he said her name was decadent, he spoke her title like sex, something Natalie could easily picture him moaning with passion.
She shoved the thought aside but not quickly enough to dispel his suspicion. He lifted his head, twisting once more to try and catch sight of her. Quickly, she cupped his skull and pushed him back into place. His curls twisted around her fingers like silk and, while she told herself to pull back, her fingers spread out to luxuriate in the sensation.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m staying still and silent.”
“You appear to be failing at both.”
Quickly, she resumed her work. It was awkward at first, but soon the task brought her back to a blissful state. Her fingers moved swiftly, shouting out the rampaging notions as her mind. The more she released herself into the world, the quieter her brain became. It was a welcomed silence, one that nothing else allowed her to obtain. She wallowed in it, relishing every moment until her marks covered the expanse of Jai’s back.
Next, she moved her attention to his arms, curling her words around his biceps and shoulders. His skin became her work, her passion, a manifestation of everything that made her exceptional. All that she couldn’t keep contained, that drove her insane if not released, he absorbed.
In her haste, she once again filled her canvas far more quickly than she had anticipated. He squirmed a little as she dipped down to write along his sides. Then that, too, was done. With two fingers, she hooked the top of his slacks and pulled slightly. Jai’s hand snapped around to grab her wrist.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing,” he shot back, his words quick but his tone soft.
“I ran out of space.”
“And I did not consent to taking my pants off.”
“Is that really necessary?”
He stared at her, and she huffed. “Yes, I know it is. But what else am I supposed to do?”
“Ask me to roll over?” he suggested. “Or we could revisit the whole notebook theory.”
Before he continued, she shoved at his shoulder, “Lie back before I lose my train of thought.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Once again, she found herself unprepared for the physical reaction that claimed her when he spoke her title. She hid the flush as best she could, but by the slight twitch of his brow, she knew that Jai had noticed something. Before he could question her, she leaned down and continued to work.
She started with his chest. A layer of soft flesh covered hardene
d muscle. It rose and fell as he breathed, the motion slow but deep. She worked her way down his torso and over his stomach. His muscles bunched under her touch, his breath hitching every time she found a particularly sensitive spot. Following the border created by the waistband of his pants, she covered the sharp angles of his hipbones and the soft thin hair that was scattered over his stomach.
The pristine calm that had settled over Natalie shattered like fine crystal when her pen suddenly had no place left to go. Thrust back into chaos, she found herself desperate to reclaim what she had lost. A second before her hand went to his belt buckle, she remembered his last reaction and paused.
“Take off your pants.”
“Yeah,” he said, “I’m going to have to say no.”
She huffed a long sigh. “Please.”
“Still no.”
Her eyes snapped to his. “I said please,” she snapped.
“And I appreciate that.” He smiled as he sat up and rested back on his hands. “But it’s not a catch all. I don’t have to do something just because you used manners.”
“Jai,” she began, only to have him speak the last bit with her. “This is for science.”
“I heard that bit,” he continued.
“Then what is your hesitation?”
He laughed. “I’m not quite sure what Mads would think about his cousin doing this with his friend.”
“I am certain that Mads would have no opinion about a doctor being exposed to a partially disrobed body.”
“Once again, not sure if I should be offended, but we’re going to move past that,” he muttered. “You’re still his cousin. And if you haven’t picked up on it, he’s a little on the protective side.”
“And I need protection from you?”
“No.”
“You believe that you will be so overcome with lust that you will be unable to control yourself?”
“Of course not.”
“Then your argument is invalid. Kindly remove your pants.”
Jai placed his hand over his mouth as lines formed between his eyes. For a long moment, he just watched her, hovering between humor and what she could only assume was bafflement. Eventually, he removed his hand and began to unbuckle his belt.