She spread the blanket and the two women sat down. Lady Sweet adjusted her shawl. “I think this will be our last visit here until spring,” she commented.
“Yes,” Dahlia agreed absently, eager to return to the subject at hand. “Am I wrong to be disappointed?”
“No, it’s not wrong. You like him very much, don’t you?”
“I enjoy his company.” Dahlia fiddled with the fringe on the blanket. “Yes,” she finally admitted, as much to herself as to Lady Sweet. “I like him very much.” She sighed. “But if I’m not going to see him again for six months, it’ll be almost a year since the last time we saw each other.”
Sharon laughed. “And you think you won’t possibly last that long?” Dahlia scowled. She did not like feeling or being perceived as weak. “When you’re in love, every minute apart seems like an eternity.”
Dahlia’s head shot up. “I’m not in love!” Then, when Lady Sweet looked at her, she added, “Am I?”
“I think you are, my dear. You said yourself more than a year ago that you had never liked any boy in particular. Now you are quite concerned that one should go away for six months. You are good and smitten.”
“What do I do now?”
Lady Sweet did her best not to laugh again. “You wait.”
“Wait?”
“Yes. The best way to really know if you are in love is to wait till he comes back and see if you feel the same way towards him. If, when you two meet again, you question why you had worried so much about his absence, then you know it was just an infatuation. This absence could be very good for you to know for sure.”
Dahlia thought about this. “Maripaz said you just know when you are truly in love. Maybe I’m not since I don’t seem to know anything for sure.” She started to take out the sandwiches that Glenda had packed, although she didn’t have much of an appetite. “What about ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder?’ What if his absence makes me think I’m more fond of him than I really am?”
“As I said, you will know for sure when you see him again. And don’t forget the other side of that coin: Out of sight, out of mind. If your interest in him wanes in the next six months, you may not care to ever see him again. Let this time apart help sort out your feelings. And Dahlia,” she said, cupping her friends face. “I know you. Don’t over think this. Let your heart guide you in this.”
Still unconvinced, but willing to try to follow Lady Sweet’s advice, she nodded confidently. “I will do my best.”
-----
The six months went by quicker than Dahlia would have thought possible on that brisk October afternoon with Lady Sweet by the ravine. Steven and Alfonso had arrived as scheduled with the magnificent colt who Dahlia dubbed Talisman since it was her good luck to be given the opportunity to train him. She started working with him immediately with the help of Alfonso since he had handled the horse from his first shaky steps. Spirited though they could be, most stallions were as easy to handle as geldings when worked consistently and firmly. Alfonso showed Dahlia and her father how he had trained the colt in hand so they could continue the steadfast routine. The colt had taken the bit and was bridled daily. Alfonso had begun to hook small bags of sand on the roller which encircled the colts midsection where the girth would go when he was fitted with a saddle. This helped with accustoming the horse to a rider’s weight on its back. Dahlia was already familiar with long-rein training, and Alfonso was pleased when he saw her working with the colt.
After two weeks, it was time for another farewell as he and Steven returned to the Roma just after All Hallows Eve. Life fell into a comfortable routine for the Talbots and their household as the days grew shorter. The training of the colt and keeping up with the other horses now that three of her brothers were gone kept Dahlia busier than she could have imagined. Visits with Lady Sweet afforded Dahlia and Matilda some entertainment and female companionship. Dahlia continued her acquaintance with Miss Stanford, despite the gloomy presence of her nephew Edward on each occasion. He seemed to be even more withdrawn than he had been in the summer, but not even Dahlia’s brothers could comment on the reason.
Correspondence from Miss McElroy was a highlight for Dahlia since she could hear the woman’s trumpetous music and effervescent manner in every word she wrote as if she were beside her. Josephine had helped coordinate Dahlia’s participation in a number of holiday festivities in London, and extended the invitation to Lady Sweet and Matilda.
Planning the trip just reminded Dahlia that James would not be in London this holiday season, and he was the only admirer she wanted. As if he could read her thoughts, a letter arrived from him to her brother Tom two days later. Tom read it aloud at dinner. It told of his uneventful crossing to France and his journey to Paris. He was installed in his lodgings and had survived his first week as apprentice to Messieurs Louis-Auguste Boileau and Alexandre Gustave Eiffel. He wrote:
I am at the forefront of architectural and engineering design. I am assisting two well-established architects who are designing and constructing a new section of the Bon Marché department store in rue de Babylone. I’ve seen the initial plans and they are extraordinary! The new section will utilize natural light and employ the strength of steel in the bridging supports and Baroque-style staircases. Mr. Eiffel is quite familiar with steel construction, having built a number of railroad bridges. His latest bridge project, the Ponte Maria Pia after the Queen of France, will feature an innovative, double-hinged arch design that promises to be a revolution in how bridges will be erected. Construction starts in January and I’m hoping to finagle at least one trip to the site.
“He seems very enthusiastic about his career,” commented her father. “Nothing worse than being forced to follow a career that has been chosen over one’s own desires.”
“Is that why you let my brothers choose their own?”
“Exactly, my dear,” he smiled at his daughter. “When one follows his most ardent desires, he will always excel at it and it will never seem like work.”
“Since a daughter’s primary career is marriage, do you likewise believe she should follow her most ardent desires?”
The question caught the squire off guard and he paused, fork halfway between his plate and his mouth. “Yes,” he started, gravy dripping from the meat on the fork to splash on the plate. This prompted him to stuff the oversized slice into his mouth. Chewing it gave him time to consider his answer further.
Dahlia took the opportunity to forge on with her real query. “So I have your blessing to choose a husband of my own liking as opposed to one most suitable in your eyes?”
Peter swallowed with a gulp. When did his daughter become old enough to think about such things? “Well, yes. As long as you don’t choose a pauper with no connections or prospects.”
“And you know we could never sanction a connection to any man who didn’t like horses,” added Tom.
“Or who hasn’t a deep appreciation for our library,” Michael nodded to his brother.
“Or who has prejudices against the Irish or Roma,” said Matty, only half joking. Then she turned to Dahlia and said seriously, “You will be taking me with you when you marry won’t you?”
“I’m not marrying anyone at present!”
“Well, that’s a relief,” sighed Peter. “. With all these witnesses, Dahlia, I promise you may marry whom you wish, given the stipulations your family has cited and the minimum age I set for you to be married.”
“What age is that?” Dahlia asked.
“Forty,” he said with a wink.
Chapter 35
1876
The Christmas holidays came and went amidst a flurry of activities. Dahlia, Lady Sweet and Matty went to London for the concerts and performances in which Miss McElroy had arranged for Dahlia to participate. She had also filled their social schedules with dinners and teas and parties, so much so that the three were glad to take advantage of what Miss McElroy called the “Ladies’ Hour,” reserved in the late afternoon for laying down to rest for
the evening’s festivities.
Miss McElroy’s reaction to Dahlia’s grown up attire consisted of a loud shriek that drew heads at the rail station, followed with a clap of the hands, directions to pirouette, and a very approving look. Dahlia and her companions were slightly stunned by this rather demure – for Miss McElroy – reaction. However, effusive comments and exclamations continued nearly every time Dahlia changed dresses throughout the two weeks of their stay. At least these interactions were endured in the relative privacy of Miss McElroy’s residence. Dahlia was not so lucky with her friend’s suggestive comments and queries whenever she was introduced to some young man or another. Each introduction was accompanied by comments such as “Isn’t she the most beautiful creature you ever saw?” in which the adjective was exchanged with ‘delightful,’ ‘captivating,’ enchanting,’ or something similarly embarrassing. Sharon tried to explain to Dahlia that Miss McElroy had taken it upon herself to affect her debut into London society, and it never hurt to have a sponsor as well-known and respected as the elder singer to make such introductions to so many eligible young men. At first, Dahlia found herself thinking of James during every introduction to such young men, but then slowly stopped comparing them all to him. She was able to talk and converse and dance with many gentlemen and simply enjoy herself.
Sharon and Josephine noted that Dahlia did indeed seem to be acquiring quite the circle of admirers. “They are all the more attracted to her because she is quite uninterested in any of them,” said Miss McElroy at one of the very fashionable parties.
“She seems to be interested in all their attentions equally,” Sharon laughed. “If I didn’t know her better I’d have to berate you for fostering in her a craving to be the center of attention.”
“But we do know her better,” sighed Miss McElroy. “That girl will only have room in her soul for one man.”
“Mr. Kent,” she stated.
“Mr. Kent,” confirmed Josephine. “He’s stuck in her heart like a score of music gets stuck in that marvelous brain of hers.”
Sharon looked at the singer questioningly. “But is he similarly attuned to her? He does not convince me to be so single-minded in matters of the heart.”
Josephine smiled, thinking of the conversation she had overheard between the red-haired actress Daisy and her friend. “In matters of the heart, I believe him to be steadfast. But we mustn’t confuse matters of the heart and matters of the libido. For some men, they are trains on parallel tracks that never intersect. The train of his heart will be true to Dahlia even if the train of his body gets derailed occasionally.”
“Then for her sake, may those trains always pass in the night so she never has to know of the other.”
“We correspond quite regularly,” Miss McElroy tried to reassure Lady Sweet of James’ intentions. “He thinks I don’t know he really only writes me as a means to ask for – and get – news of Dahlia. I know that he is also keeping up correspondence with several of her brothers. This trip to France will be good for him. I daresay when he gets back and sees Dahlia looking as she does now, he will never think of another woman again.”
Mark and Leland joined Dahlia on the trip home to Cirencester. Both brothers were able to take time off for Christmas, although the Army was not so generous with Mark’s furlough as the seminary was with the length of Leland’s holiday. On the train, the brothers shared their letters from James and Lady Sweet smiled. While James couldn’t write to Dahlia directly, he knew full well Mark and Leland would allow their sister to read his letters to them. Lady Sweet had to admire the way he weaved in mention of Dahlia or things he saw in Paris that she would find interesting or amusing.
Lady Sweet was also not surprised when she heard that James had sent Dahlia a birthday present in January by way of his correspondence with Tom. It was the score of a song from an opera about a Spanish love story that had debuted the year before in Paris.
Please find enclosed a song that seems to be written specifically for Dahlia to perform at the Roma fair this spring. It is called La Habernera from the opera Carmen. The show premiered last March and is the toast of Paris. The composer, Georges Bizet, tragically passed away just months after the opening at a very young age. I daresay, however, that his passing has only added an aura of mystique to his exceptional work putting music to an equally tragic and beautiful love story. Please give this to your sister on her birthday and tell her I look forward to hearing her perform this piece in the Spring.
Dahlia was absolutely delighted with the score and played it for Lady Sweet when she visited, the music memorized the moment she glanced at it. She also wrote Doña Isabel, Don Alvaro’s wife, to ask her help in presenting the song as part of a summary performance of the story of Carmen during the Feria. Isabel responded enthusiastically, saying she knew the story well since it was set in the south of Spain where her family had originated.
A letter from Steven followed closely after his mother-in-law’s, and Peter announced he would become a grandfather at the end of June. Dahlia marveled at how quickly a person’s life could change. A year ago, her brother was single and living at home with his family. Now, he was married, travelling with the Roma, and expecting his first child. Dahlia thought Steven would make a wonderful father. He was so full of joy for life, the eternal adventurer who loved to see the fun in every situation.
The thought of the baby dominated her thoughts for days. The birth would give Dahlia a new title, that of Aunt – Aunt Dahlia. She liked the sound of it, and the idea of it. The new position made her feel more mature. Having been the youngest in a family of six, she felt her brothers had always been the ones to help her, to teach her, to look after her. Now, she could assume such responsibilities. She daydreamed about walking her niece or nephew on a pony and helping him or her become a confident rider with a love for the beautiful animals to match her own. She thought about the best way to teach a child music, and wondered whether the baby would see the world in terms of music the way she did. It was an exciting prospect.
Dahlia had fun calling her brothers Uncle Michael and Uncle Tom, and teasing her father about being an old grand-papa. She was deliriously happy with plans for the baby until Glenda reminded her that it would be difficult to do all she wanted when Dahlia would only see the baby once a year. Her high spirits deflated like the air being let out of a balloon, and her first instinct, as usual, was to pay a visit to Lady Sweet. She suspected she may need more counsel than could be imparted in a couple of hours and asked her father if she could stay the night.
“I have to go to London on business, my dear. I will take you in the carriage on my way to the station.”
“You’re going to London?” Dahlia was surprised. With the exception of escorting her for the holiday performances, he rarely went to town in winter. She used to joke that he was like a bear who hibernated on his estate until the spring thawed out the land.
“There are many events happening in the world, Dahlia, and I have to look after my investments affected by them.”
Dahlia frowned, and her father patted her hand. “The world is much bigger than Talbot Hall, you know. But that isn’t your concern. You focus on your music and getting that colt trained up by the time the Roma return. You let me worry about investments. Now go on, get your things together for your stay with the Sweets.”
Dahlia went up to her room thinking about what her father had said. She never had to worry about anything and therefore didn’t really think about much beyond what her father had said. She had her music and the horses and her world truly did consist of her life in Cirencester and her trips to London. It was a rather small microcosm now that she gave it some thought. Steven was the only one in the family who had the urge to travel – so much the better he was now part of the Roma clan. He would finally see the country and parts of Scotland, too. Dahlia had everything she could ever want right here – friends, family, and the countryside. She was, perhaps, more like the girls in the Gaggle than she had ever expected to admit. They al
l took for granted everything their fathers did to make possible all the dresses, baubles, carriages, maids, dowries, and other comforts in their lives. In her case, they gave Dahlia tutors from abroad, the enviable library of books, the fine instruments, and the beautiful creatures in the barn.
Her lack of knowledge regarding all of these financial matters embarrassed her not just for the ignorance of the specifics, but the fact she never considered them at all with regards to her life. One more thing to discuss with Lady Sweet.
-----
Dahlia talked to Lady Sweet about Steven and Maripaz’s baby, of her expectations and hopes that were dashed by the reality that she would see the child very little. Lady Sweet explained that children were a gift and that she knew even though she saw her son every day – and would for at least eighteen years – that when that time came when he left home she, too, would think it was too little time. She told Dahlia that it was the bittersweet joy of all mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins to have such hopes and dreams for new lives. Part of the paradox, Lady Sweet explained, was that the children for whom they had such hopes and dreams and plans formed hopes, dreams, and plans of their own and it was those that mattered most.
“We do what we can for them, then put aside our own expectations to help them meet theirs. That is what maternal love is all about, whether you’re are a mother or an aunt, it’s the same. Maternal love is unconditional love. You will cherish each minute you have with your niece or nephew and pass all the remainder in the year looking forward to seeing them again. Think of it this way. With five brothers, you soon will have so many nieces and nephews that you will barely have a fortnight to yourself before another one comes to visit!” This made Dahlia smile with the possibility of so many new members of her family that it truly did lighten her mood and dispel her unfounded worries.
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