He charged past Matty and scrambled down the tower stairs. He ran across the courtyard as fast as he could, completely ignoring his mother who had come out to find Matty and know what had happened.
When Matty made her way back to where Anna stood, she simply said two words.
“She remembers.”
Chapter 85
Dahlia’s first thought was to ride all the way back to England. She had no idea of how far it was and didn’t care as she kicked Cerdwyn into a gallop. She just wanted to be somewhere else as fast as possible. She hadn’t even taken the time to put on a saddle, just a bridle. She wanted to be away from everyone who had lied to her. Too late, she realized that what she was running to – her real home in Cirencester – was the source of the lies she had been led to believe.
‘Protect her from the truth for as long as possible – forever if need be.’
Those were her father’s own words. How could he? How could he do this to her? Tears stung Dahlia’s eyes and blurred her vision. She relied on her horse’s knowledge of the terrain since she couldn’t focus well and still urged her mount faster.
Faces came into her mind in a parade of hurtful memories. Her father, assuring her she could marry whomever she chose. Matty asking her if her courses had returned. James’ face on Christmas night when she had pushed him away telling her it was alright. No wonder she couldn’t understand his reaction. He had known full well why she couldn’t bear his weight on her against the wall.
She saw William Standford with his crazed look as he called her by her mother’s name. She saw Lady Sweet the night of the Cirencester Ball when she told her she would never be old, and then in her coffin at the funeral.
The tears were streaming down Dahlia’s face as she felt all the hurt, pain, fear, and deception of the past year all at once. She put her head down low over Cerdwyn’s neck and tried to outrun her feelings.
The horse slowed to a canter. Dahlia sat up and kicked her again in her urgency to leave the past behind her. Dahlia realized where she was the second before Cerdwyn skidded to a halt. Without the benefit of a saddle, Dahlia slid right off her back. Momentum flung her forward and she landed on her knees at the top of the precipice where the waterfall fell a hundred feet to the lake below.
Dahlia gaze down the height and thought of the top of the ravine at home. She remembered thinking about jumping over the edge to escape Standford and his lies about her mother and his claims of her father’s financial ruin. She should have done it. She should have jumped then and taken her chances with the fall. It would have been preferable to believing the lies everyone told her, to knowing that the people she held dearest to her betrayed her trust in them.
“Why?” she screamed to the forest. “Why? Why?”
She sobbed at the injustice that had been done to her, first by Standford, then by her family, her friend, and even her supposed husband.
James heard her cries. He had grabbed his own horse and followed in the direction he had seen her go from the tower, hoping against hope that he would find her. He tried to pinpoint the direction of her voice, then he saw Cerdwyn grazing a short distance away, her reins hanging on the ground.
James felt a tightening in his gut. The horse was only about ten meters from Cascade Falls. Had Dahlia fallen off so close to the top of the cliffs? Was she hurt? He rounded a copse of bushes and saw where the ground met the sky. Dahlia was standing right at the edge, looking down.
“Dahlia!” he bellowed.
She turned her torso and looked at him, her cheeks wet with tears. Before he could do anything, she turned back towards the falls, and slowly tipped forward until she disappeared from sight.
Chapter 86
It had been surprisingly easy for Dahlia to fall forward without any hesitation. Since reading the words of her father’s letter that had released the strangle hold on her memory, an enormous weight had borne down on her. She had held her head high and her back straight since waking up in Scotland and through all the uncertainty and doubt and trusting of the multitude of lies she had been told. The moment she relinquished that strength – the moment she realized she had endured it all under false assumptions, gravity wrapped its arms around her and grasped the weight like a magnet. Giving into their deadly hug had been as natural as it was irresistible.
As she fell, Dahlia had no thought in her head except how wonderful the feel of the air was as it rushed past her ears. It felt like freedom, and she breathed in as much as her lungs would hold to fill herself with it.
Whooosh!
She hit the cold water of Cascade Lake. The drastic temperature change removed all the negative feelings and thoughts Dahlia had experienced for the past hour. The world was silent except for the beating of her heart. As it had from the first time she heard it, the beating transitioned into James’ music. In her underwater world, the music in her head filled her existence. In her mind, she saw his face as he had screamed her name. When she had looked back at him, his face had been the personification of unbelievable anguish. He had held out his hand towards her as if he could prevent her from going over the edge by shear willpower. Dahlia smiled. Always saving her. She saw him the night they met, parting the crowd and whisking her away from the insistent patrons. She saw him at the Cirencester Ball with his hand on Edward Standford’s shoulder and demanding he unhand her, then kissing her wrist where Edward had grabbed her. She remembered he had carried her all the way down the mountain after his shirt spooked Talisman. She felt the strength of his shoulder and his arms around her in the carriage after Lady Sweet’s funeral.
Always saving her – for years. These were not the actions of a man that would take money to marry a girl whose reputation had been ruined by rape, or who would willingly lie to accept a child that might come of the attack. These were the actions of a man whose attentions had been constant since the moment they had met, who commissioned lace gloves with dahlias on them, who gave up his studies so she could keep her good reputation, and who would protect her from anything in the world – including the truth – if it was in his power to do so. These were the actions of a man who truly loved her. She heard him say ‘I love you, Dahlia, everything will be alright’ over and over again as the pressure of the water hurt her ears and her lungs burned.
Dahlia’s slow, graceful descent to the bottom of the lake halted abruptly as she kicked her legs and reached her arms to the surface. She struggled to free herself of the clutches of gravity and the weight of her wet clothing and boots filled with water. She would get back to him! But even with the huge intake of air she had gulped in just before hitting the surface, she knew she wasn’t rising fast enough. The light reflecting down through the water was too far away, and she started to panic at her own stupidity. He who hesitates is lost. The saying flashed through her mind. She had hesitated to believe James truly loved her. She had hesitated to ever say the words to him that he said to her regularly, without reservation and without lying.
She clawed at the water without gaining purchase while she fought the pressing urgency to breathe in deeply. Her tears mixed with the water of the lake.
She had hesitated, and she would be lost.
-----
James was off his horse before it skidded to a terrified halt in front of the cliff. He peered over the edge with his heart in his gut and saw Dahlia disappear once again, this time into the dark waters of the lake. He ripped his coat off and pulled his boots off before propelling himself over the edge head first.
He prayed he had judged the distance of his dive far enough away from where Dahlia had plunged in so as not to collide with her. The cold water stunned him, and he was momentarily disoriented. The murky water limited his vision, and he swam to where he thought he would find her. She wasn’t there. He swam further and found nothing. Convinced he had gone in the wrong direction, James swam in the other direction to find only more dark water. His breath was almost expended and he raced to the surface. He guessed Dahlia had been in the water for perhaps thir
ty seconds before him and knew she, too, would be out of breath. Perhaps he hadn’t gone deep enough. As he inhaled deeply for another dive, he saw bubbles rise to the surface about three feet to his right.
He dove in that direction, grateful to have seen the bubbles but horrified at what it meant: that she had expelled the air that made them. A hand came into his small sphere of vision and he grabbed at it and pulled. Dahlia’s beautiful auburn hair followed, the ends drifting eerily in all directions.
James broke the surface gasping for air from the effort of pulling Dahlia up with him. From her, he heard nothing. He pushed everything out of his mind except getting to the shore. Ten meters became five, then three and his feet hit the muddy bottom of the embankment. James pulled Dahlia on her back and started compressions on her abdomen.
“Breathe!” he commanded. Nothing happened, and her form still lay inert. “BREATHE!” He started to panic. “Please,” he pleaded.
Suddenly, a small spurt of water escaped her mouth and he turned her on her side quickly. She expelled more water and started coughing and gasping. When her distress stopped, she rolled onto her back and saw James’ face.
“Thank God,” he breathed out slowly.
Dahlia felt her throat tighten, and she knew it had nothing to do with nearly drowning. She gazed at the handsome face with the blue eyes that were brighter than the sky, and heard his music in her mind keeping time with her heartbeat. She remembered Doña Serena, all those years ago, telling her to listen to her music for it would never lead her wrong. James’ music was like her heartbeat in more than its rhythm: without it, she knew she would not survive.
James took her silence for regret that he had succeeded in pulling her out of the water, or worse, anger for all the reasons that caused her to jump into it.
“I’m sorry Dahlia. I’m so sorry for everything. I did my best to protect you...to make you happy. I never meant to –“
Dahlia put her hand up to his mouth. “All you did was love me. I need you to know…I’ve never told you I loved you in return. But, I want you to know that, when I was in the water, it was your music that filled my mind. Your music is in the beating of my heart, and it is part of my soul. I do love you, James. Everything will be alright.”
The turquoise eyes shone with tears, and he took her into an embrace that told her he would never let her go. When he pulled back and kissed her, he swore that he too, heard music.
Epilogue
Dahlia paced behind the expanse of red velvet curtain that separated her from several hundred people. She had never been so nervous in all her life and she thought she might just be sick. She peeked through one of the openings and saw more people filing into the hall. She searched for James – she needed to see him to calm her nerves. She spied him, talking with her father and Don Alvaro. The Roma chief had made quite a stir when he arrived with Doña Isabel and their sons, and Maripaz and Steven. While garnering their share of distrustful looks, the Roma men were also favored with extreme interest by many young ladies there.
She saw Matty, her belly swelling, with Trevor’s arm around her shoulders. Dahlia smiled, thinking that if all the women in the room knew that The Highlander was in their midst, Matty would have been ruthlessly pushed aside, pregnant or not, by the throng of admirers of his serial. His publisher had not been disappointed, for the ending of his story was, after all, a romance. Together, James, Dahlia, Matty and Trevor had decided to stick to the truth for the last chapter and reveal that the worst had not, in fact, occurred to the heroine Lily. Edward Standford had confessed to James that his father boasted of making it look like he had raped Dahlia, but in the end had not been able to carry out his intentions. According to Edward, his father’s desires had diminished along with Dahlia’s struggling as she lapsed into unconsciousness, and his sadistic tendencies were dampened by her inability to appreciate his cruelty. Edward had fled his home, horrified by his father’s madness that he realized went far beyond ambition. He had run away with Gwen and they had gotten married in Graetna Green, then continued on to Glasgow so they could find work. James said he had a sardonic smile on his face when he learned his aunt had killed his father. Though he apologized for his disappearance, unknowingly taking with him the truth of the extent of the attack, he had not seemed sorry for his father’s ultimate demise.
The readers of the serial, who were already taken with the romanticism of the hero who loved Lily so much that he would marry her not knowing the truth, were likewise thrilled with what they perceived as a very happy ending indeed.
Before remembering she was due to go on stage shortly, Dahlia saw her mother-in-law conversing with Lord Telford and Lord Stanmer. James’ uncle wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t scowling either which led Dahlia to believe that his reunion with his brother’s wife wasn’t at all displeasing to him. Perhaps because James had sent the invitation to the Valentine’s Day Ball to both he and Lord Stanmer.
“Pssst.”
Dahlia turned to see Miss McElroy motioning her over to where she stood.
“Are you ready?” she whispered.
“Yes. Ready to throw up my dinner, which must have consisted of a hundred butterflies.”
Miss McElroy grinned at her. “That’s a good sign. When you stop being nervous before a performance, you should stop performing.”
“I wish you were performing with me,” Dahlia said.
“Nonsense. I have to be able to be out there,” she said pointing to the audience. “All the ladies are convinced that you are the model for the heroine of the serial. They have begged me to tell them the truth,” she continued animatedly. “But I just told them I could neither confirm nor deny the rumors. This, naturally, convinced them I do know the truth. Knowing you has made me quite the celebrity again. I have to go,” she said, giving Dahlia a quick hug. “My public awaits.”
Dahlia laughed, which was what her friend intended. Then, she heard the call for people to take their seats. The roar of conversations dwindled to a murmur while chairs scraped and shoes shuffled while the crowd settled themselves. The master of ceremonies announced her, and she walked to the center of the stage.
The curtain went up and she walked forward to thunderous applause. She smiled at the welcome, a little overwhelmed by the sea of people that stretched from wall to wall and front to back – all looking at her, eagerly waiting. She knew a moment of anxiety and sought the only face she needed to see. James, sitting in the front row directly in front of her, was looking back at her, and the intensity of his gaze – filled with such love and tenderness and confidence – was a beacon of hope burning so strongly she swore she could feel the heat on her face and her soul. She drew a deep breath which was noted by the crowd and caused an immediate hush throughout the room. Not a sound was heard – no fidgeting, no whispers, not even the brush of cloth or clink of wood and metal as the musicians positioned themselves. Dahlia inclined her head slightly to signal the orchestra.
Then, at long last, it began. After all the heartache, pain, and uncertainty of the quiet darkness she had survived, the glorious power and joy of her talent and soul poured forth into the world once again in Dahlia’s music.
Music that Inspired Dahlia’s Music
Dahlia’s world is all about the music – the music she sings and plays, and the music she hears in her mind when she sees people, animals, and places. The following is an abbreviated list of the music that inspired Dahlia’s Music.
Pie Jesu, Charlotte Church, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Ave Maria, Charlotte Church, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Sonata in A Minor, D_821 (Arpeggione) by Schubert, Yuri Bashmet
Lady Sweet’s theme.
Rondo Alla Turca by Mozart
Dancing at the Ball.
The Spinning Wheel, Phil Coulter, Classic Tranquility, Shanachie, 1990.
Trumpet Concerto in D Major, Handel
Josephine’s Theme
Sancta Maria, Charlotte Chu
rch, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Josephine singing at the Christmas Ball.
Tantum Ergo, Charlotte Church, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Dahlia singing at the Christmas Ball.
The Flower Duet, Charlotte Church, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Josephine and Dahlia’s Duet at the Christmas Ball
Rondeau, Canadian Brass Greatest Hits, 1983.
Approaching the Royal Palace for the Valentine’s Day Ball.
Rondo in C Major Op. 51, no. 1, Beethoven, John Robson
Asturias, Isaac Albeniz, The Spanish Guitar, 2002.
Roma playing at the banquet.
Angelina, Il Divo, The Promise, Sony, 2008.
The flamenco dance at the Roma banquet
Madrilena, Boyd.
Adagio, Mozart
Guitar Quintet No. 4 in D, Fandango with harpsichord, Boccherini.
Music at the Roma banquet
Symphony No. 7 in E Flat Major “Las chasse”, John Marsh.
Talisman’s theme; riding up the Tor.
Andante in F Major, Woo 57 “Andante Favori”, Beethoven, Masterpieces of the Romantic Piano, 1995.
Dahlia plays piano at the Sweet’s after James gives her the lace gloves.
Pavane Op. 50, Grieg, Classical Moods, 2002.
Sonata in D Major, K 96, Scarlatti, Michele Campanella, 2006.
Habanera, Charlotte Church, Prelude: The Best of Charlotte Church, Sony, 2002.
Dahlia performs the Bizet Score James sent her from Paris at the Roma banquet.
Concerto for Oboe and Strings in C Minor-Adagio, Marcello, Vivaldi, Bach, Marcello & Telemann, 2006.
Dahlia’s grief.
Songs without Words Book I, Op 19, No. 6 in G Minor, Mendelssohn, Rena Kyriakou, Mendelssohn: Songs without Words, 2010.
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