“What happened last night? What the hell was that, Ian? It certainly wasn’t any Viagra I’ve ever heard of. I wasn’t in control.”
Ian sighed and tried comforting me with a pat on my shoulder. “Listen, if it makes you feel any better, you wouldn’t have been able to control yourself last night no matter what.”
Tears streaming down my face, I looked at him with a frown. “What do you mean?”
Ian looked away for a moment. “Listen, you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” I nodded vigorously. “A few years back, a secret base in a remote location in Wiltshire was infiltrated. They were found to have been testing a new drug on unsuspecting women. It was a drug that would make you not only highly sexed, but highly fertile. It can be used on women who can’t conceive.” He looked me over for a moment before continuing, “Unless you used protection or are on the pill, I would suspect the chances of you being pregnant now are extremely high. In fact, I would be certain of it.”
Shit, no. This can’t be happening. “That’s sick, Ian. Why would they do that to women?”
Ian shook his head. “I can’t tell you. All I can say is that it’s a highly potent drug and when used in the right way, it can make a woman the best sex partner a man could ever wish for.”
I frowned through my tears. “But that’s like rape, Ian.”
He grimaced. “Well… It is and it isn’t. The woman wants it and, if you used the right person, it is highly enjoyable. She would probably go as far as saying it was the best sex she ever had.”
I hung my head in shame. It was the best sex I ever had, but that just made me feel like the worst person in the world. I had dedicated myself to Kit, but I had betrayed him in the worst way possible.
“If you’re feeling guilty for it, don’t. There was no way you would have been able to control yourself last night. If left too long, it would have become unbearably painful.”
I winced. “What kind of drug is that? That just sounds…”
“Alien?” He huffed. “Don’t ask.”
Ian looked at me for a moment, then got off the bed to fetch me a tissue. “Here. Dry your eyes, get ready, and come down for something to eat. You’ve been sleeping practically all day and the Boss wants you looked after.”
I took the tissue, but just stared at him. “I don’t understand what’s going on. When I’m with him, I feel this pull. When I’m not, it’s like this spell I’m under goes away. I can’t explain it.”
Ian bit his lip. “Have you ever been under hypnosis?”
I looked at him, my eyes wide. “Yes. Several months ago, Uncle put me on the right path. He told me hypnosis would help with my nightmares.”
Ian winced a little, but didn’t say anything.
“Ian, what are you not telling me?”
He shook his head. “I can’t say, Olivia. If I tell you anymore, I’ll probably be writing my own death sentence. I’ve already told you things you shouldn’t know.”
My posture picked up as I held the bedsheet to my chest. “Then why have you?”
Ian frowned. “I don’t know. I guess I feel bad for you. I feel bad that we had to take you.” He paused for a moment. “Who’s Kit? Is he a problem?”
I violently shook my head. “No. Please don’t mention his name again.”
He looked at me with a worried expression. “You do realise if Boss gets hold of this information, he’ll probably eliminate the problem, don’t you? In fact, he will eliminate the problem. You didn’t see what he did to that Freddy guy after he dared to touch you.” I winced. “But he deserved it, Olivia. If you hadn’t fought him off the way you did, I think you and I both know what would have happened next.”
I nodded. “I know.” He got off the bed, but I grabbed his arm. “Ian, he won’t use that on me again, will he?” A sudden burn between my legs shot through me at the thought of all those orgasms last night.
Ian regarded me for a moment. “I’m not sure how much was used on you, but even a very small amount could have lasting effects.”
“Lasting effects? What do you mean?”
Ian placed his hands in his pockets and bit his lip. “It means you could be feeling horny for a few days. It won’t be at the same level of intensity, but if you’re touched the right way, even talked to the right way, it could set you off. I’m not saying you won’t be in control. The pain will be bearable, but it will still hit you hard when the desire comes.”
I bashed my fist on the bed. “Great. Just fucking great. Do me a favour, Ian, and keep everyone away from me.”
He chuckled a little. “I don’t think you’ll have an issue there.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Let’s just say that after last night, you’ll probably find only the Boss’ touch will do it for you. It’s a potent enough drug that you zero in on one person and one person only. Of course, if he’s not around and the pain is unbearable enough, you’ll seek out the next best thing. It’s no different than an animal’s natural mating instinct.”
I put my head in my hands. “Oh god, Ian. What has he done to me?” I looked up and saw his conflicted face.
“I’m sorry, Olivia. I think he’s just making sure no other man comes between you two.”
I thought about Kit again and the stab of pain hit me like never before. It kind of made me want Zac here so he could take it away.
“Fuck!”
Ian laughed. “You’re sure doing a lot of cursing this morning.”
I laughed sarcastically. “And do you want to hear the irony, Ian?” He nodded. “I never curse. I have always been such a placid person. I guess your boss is rubbing off on me after all.”
Ian looked at the door for a moment. I could tell he was eager to leave. I guess he wasn’t allowed in the room with me long enough for anything to happen.
“It’s okay. You can go.” I didn’t want him to get into trouble.
He smiled appreciatively. “Thanks. I’ve left some extra clothes and underwear for you to use. Once you’re ready, come down and we’ll have the cook make you something to eat.”
I nodded with a sad smile and watched as he walked out the door.
I was fucked. Well and truly fucked. I had been brought up to be a lady, but after hearing everything about my father last night, I just wanted to stick my middle finger up and shout a big ol’ fuck you.
I threw my head back on the pillow and moaned. The tears came again and I allowed them. I had to cry to get it over with. I couldn’t let Zac see me in pain because he would question me. When that didn’t work, he would make it his sole mission to find out why by other means. For Kit’s sake, I hoped he’d forget about me and go underground again. He needed to get out of London and start fresh somewhere else. His safety was my number one priority.
And there was the irony again. I had set out with a different motive all those months ago. I thought Kit’s eyes were something different, but when I looked into them, I realised there was pain behind that hardness. Pain that I found myself wanting to unearth. When I looked into his eyes that day at the soup kitchen, I knew I was looking back at myself. It was a strange analogy, but that was the only way I could explain it.
I thought back to the moment we shared in my studio. The moment I knew, without a doubt, how much I loved him. I could feel how much he cared for me and I knew there was no going back. If I would have told him then and there, we could be somewhere miles away by now. Then again, he may have decided never to speak to me again, which would have only led me back here anyway. Since the day I was old enough to have men notice me, my life had been planned out. Hell, I was probably promised to Zac the day I was born.
All this made my head hurt. I had too much information, but I probably didn’t even know the half of it. Who was Zac? I always thought he was out to change the world and make it a better place. I always thought of him as a protector but, after last night, I wasn’t so sure now. Instead, I found him manipulative. He was using my weaknesses to draw me to him. I was like a moth to a flame when it came to Zac
, and it seemed I had no control over it.
My eyes widened suddenly when I thought about what Ian had said. I had to get downstairs and take one of my birth control pills. There was no way I was getting pregnant by Zac. I refused.
I checked the time and saw it was after one o’clock in the afternoon.
“Shit!” I threw the covers off, ran into the bathroom, and quickly washed. Once dried, I rushed back out to find a selection of clothes in the wardrobe. All were very fancy and probably cost more than most people made in a year.
I picked out a pair of frilly white panties and a matching bra. I must admit. They felt good on my skin. When I looked in the mirror, a sudden urge to touch myself came over me.
I shook my head, not wanting to go there. I could feel that familiar burn from last night creep up, but I was determined not to let it win. If I ignored it, the burn went away. At least that was better than what I felt last night. That feeling was something else.
I went through the contents and picked out a short, pale yellow skirt with a white blouse. Once dressed, I ran down the huge rounded staircase to the first floor, noticing the numerous men around, some carrying guns.
They all looked my way, but none said a word or even nodded their heads in acknowledgment. They were looking at me as if I was this new, fascinating toy.
I walked through the expanse of the hallway, noticing the very expensive chandelier over my head. Girls would normally go crazy over someone like Zac. His wealth alone would turn girls on, but that was always the last thing on my mind. Money could buy you lots of things, but true love wasn’t one of them.
I took in the mass of paintings along the walls. I even spotted one of mine sitting proudly at the bottom of the steps. It was one I did of a meadow back in Cambridge. Zac actually wanted me to paint myself, but I didn’t want to. Instead, he settled on this meadow I liked to visit from time to time. Sometimes, I would just sit there and think about nothing. I’d let my mind go vacant and smile at the numbness it brought me.
“Olivia, are you ready?” I jumped when I saw Ian at the kitchen doorway, smiling. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he offered.
I shook my head. “That’s all right.” I came in to whisper, “Ian, where’s my handbag? I kind of need it, you know…for women’s things.” I thought I’d better say that because I knew men get scared of that kind of thing.
Just as expected, Ian’s eyes widened and he walked off. “Of course.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll go get it for you.”
I checked my watch and cursed when I realised I was nearly three hours late taking them. I would always carry them in my bag as, no doubt, I would forget them in the morning. More often than not, I would take them in the middle of my shift at the soup kitchen.
My heart clenched when I thought about everyone there. I wondered how Thomas and Marcus were getting on. Right now, I would have given anything to see them.
“Here. I left it somewhere safe for you.”
I nodded with a smile. “Thanks. Can you tell me where the nearest toilet is?”
“Sure.” He ran around me and motioned to a door under the stairs. “There’s a bathroom there.”
I nodded my thanks and went inside. Before I closed the door, Ian stopped me. My heart raced, thinking he knew what I was up to. Instead, he smiled. “What would you like to eat? I can let the cook know whilst you…do what you need to.”
My stomach suddenly growled. “Umm, I think I would love some scrambled eggs on toast right now, if that’s not any trouble.”
Ian rolled his eyes. “There are about fifty men in this house. Eggs are in abundance, believe me.” He chuckled at his own joke and I offered him a little one in return.
“Right. Well, I’ll leave you to some privacy.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
It was only after I had closed the door that I realised what an idiot I was. Ian told me I was probably pregnant by now, so giving me this bag could only mean one thing.
I opened it, frantically searching through its contents. My hand came to a sudden halt when it felt the tablets.
I sighed in relief. I think I had an ally in Ian. There was no doubt in my mind that he searched this bag and saw the pills but, for some reason, he kept them in there. Whatever the reason, I was glad he didn’t take them away. It was the only control I had over Zac.
I quickly popped the pill, flushed the toilet, and buried the pills as deep in my bag as possible. Once I was satisfied, I pulled the door open to find a woman standing there. We both jumped when we saw each other, then she took on a knowing smile.
“Olivia, I take it?” I nodded. She looked over me for a moment, which gave me time to notice her. She was very pretty with light golden hair and bright blue eyes. She was a little taller than me, but only because she was wearing the tallest high heels I had ever seen. Coupled with the fact she had very shapely legs and she was quite stunning.
“And who are you?” I was getting a little fed up with her assessment of me. It was taking a little longer than I liked.
“Oh, sorry,” she laughed, holding out her hand. “My name’s Maria.”
I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Maria.”
I smiled and walked around her, noticing that she was scrutinizing me again. “And you, too, Olivia. Have a good day.”
I walked into the kitchen, baffled at the encounter.
“What are you frowning at?”
I sat down next to Ian at the biggest breakfast bar I had ever seen. You could seriously open up a café in this kitchen.
“I bumped into this woman.” I motioned behind me.
“Oh, you mean Maria?” He had a knowing smile on his face.
“Who is she?”
He paused a moment. “Let’s just say she’s brought in from time to time to…help out the agents.” He had a gleam in his eye.
“Help out how?”
He leaned in to whisper, “It’s probably best you don’t know.”
From the look he gave me, I already knew. “Right,” I answered, looking away. “Probably best I don’t. How often does she come?” I didn’t want to be bumping into her in the wrong places.
“She doesn’t often come here. It’s usually the agents who go to her. Sometimes she gets called over when the men aren’t allowed to leave the house.”
I raised my eyebrow. “Oh.” I suddenly found myself asking, “Does she ‘help’ Zac out?”
Ian smiled and nudged my elbow. “Why? Are you jealous?”
“No!” I snapped, but couldn’t help this little pang that crept through me. What was wrong with me?
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, he doesn’t touch her.”
“But you have?”
Ian’s cheeks flushed red. I was starting to like him more and more. “We kind of have no other choice, unless we want to be celibate.” I must have given him a really confused look because he smiled. “We’re not allowed relationships of any kind outside of our family, if you know what I mean.”
I frowned. “Really? No relationships? Not even sexual?”
He shook his head. “We get assigned people to let off steam. It has to be someone the agency can trust. Maria is one of them.”
“So there are others?”
He nodded. “Yes, but Maria is the only one who comes to the house from time to time. She gets to pick her men and sticks with them. After a while, they do a changeover so that no one becomes too attached.”
I snorted. “Oh, my god. That sounds crazy.”
Ian actually laughed with me. “I suppose so, but it also tests our loyalty to the agency.”
Just then, a man came out with a plate filled with toast and scrambled eggs. Another man came out with a tray containing coffee and tea. Ian grabbed my elbow and motioned for me to sit down at the table. Once there, the cook came forward.
“Thank you,” I said when the man placed the food down.
He smiled sweetly. “You’re welcome, Miss Caudwell.”
I grit
my teeth, but didn’t say anything. Instead, I started eating. By now, I was absolutely starving.
“Enjoying that?” Ian asked with a bright smile. I had already eaten one slice of toast and was now tucking into the other.
“Mmmm,” was all I could offer, making Ian laugh.
After my belly felt a little fuller, I noticed that there were several other men in the room with us, two of whom had guns.
I sipped my remaining tea and took my last mouthful of food before setting my knife and fork down. “Is this really necessary?” I motioned around at all the men.
Ian was about to speak when a voice interrupted him, “It’s for your own protection, Livy.”
I looked behind me and saw Zac walking into the kitchen. Today he had on a pair of black trousers with a white shirt. There was no tie, just a button or two open at his chest. I licked my lips involuntarily, all thoughts of anything else diminishing. My lord and master was here and my whole body instantly reacted to it.
Like a flame, the burn between my legs intensified as I saw the heat in his icy blue eyes. It was like watching a fire dance. Completely and utterly mesmerising.
Without a thought, I got up, swiped the plate off the table—resulting in an almighty crash—and sat on the top, my legs spread wide.
Zac stopped, fierce hunger in his eyes. He motioned with his finger to the room. “Leave.” And without hesitation, they all rushed out of the room.
“Looks like my baby hasn’t had her fill just yet.”
I set one leg on the chair and pulled my skirt up, revealing the lace panties underneath. Pure heat and wetness pooled out of me. I was already drenched with my own juices.
“I hate you,” I said, but my body wanted him. It raged to have him touch me. If he didn’t soon, I think I would burst.
Zac smirked and came closer. With one quick tug, he ripped the blouse from my body, revealing the lacy bra underneath.
“Perfect,” he growled.
“I want to stick red hot pokers in your eyes.”
Zac’s eyes widened. “Are you a little sore about the Viagra incident last night? I’m sorry, baby. I just had to make sure you were relaxed.”
He walked in close so he was between my legs, then placed a finger along my thigh. I couldn’t help it. I shuddered.
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