by Olivia Evans
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but I can’t say I mind the extra privacy.”
Anders’ stomach dropped when he realized her implication. Before Josie, he wouldn’t have hesitated. He knew the moment he accepted the role Aubrey would be all over him. When they hooked up during auditions, she alluded to the fun they could have during filming. At the time, Anders hadn’t bothered to correct her and quite possibly even agreed. Of course his agreement had more to do with the blow job he was receiving and less to do with his eagerness for a repeat. He realized his mistake now. Shutting her down would pique her curiosity. She’d never been one to take no for an answer. He needed to buy some time. He needed to talk to Josie.
Anders schooled his features before twisting his face into a look of disappointment. “Shit, I forgot I have a meeting with Nathan today. Maybe later this week, okay?”
Aubrey gave him a wide smile, but she got the distinct impression Anders was blowing her off. “Of course. After all, it’s not like we won’t see each other every day. I can’t tell you how much that pleases me.” Leaning forward she touched her lips to his, her jaw tightening when he flinched.
“I have a pretty good idea.” Anders grinned and stroked his thumb along the curve of her jaw before stepping away. He kept their eyes locked, trying to wipe away the curiosity in her eyes. One day back on set and already his involvement with Josie was affecting him. “I have to get to the set, but I’ll see you there in a bit, right?”
“Of course you will,” Aubrey sang, the wheels in her head spinning. “I’ll be along shortly. I have some things I need to take care of first.” Aubrey flashed a smile as Anders reluctantly left his trailer.
She looked around the room, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. The guy who just walked out of the room was different from the one she had met at auditions. He seemed distracted and jumpy. She didn’t want this version. She wanted the one she had set her sights on months ago. The one she had every intention of sinking her claws into and making her own, regardless of his absurd rules and hang-ups about dating.
Aubrey’s lips parted and her eyes widened as she remembered how he flinched away from her. She couldn’t help but wonder if Anders had already broken his rule. She thought about his most recent pictures and shook her head at the ridiculous notion. He was the same playboy he’d always been. Something was definitely different, though, and she’d figure it out sooner or later. Flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she strolled out of the room and toward the set.
While Anders and Aubrey discussed scenes with the director, Josie tried to focus on the drawing in front of her, but all she could see was Aubrey kissing Anders. The pencil in Josie’s hand snapped in two.
Jealousy was not an emotion she was accustomed to, but already she hated it. She looked at her phone, the screen black―no messages, no calls. “Fuck this,” she muttered and pushed away from the desk.
“Where ya going?” Madison asked from the doorway.
“To find you.” Josie laughed, relieved to see her best friend’s smiling face.
“Well, aren’t you lucky I have perfect timing?” She looked over her shoulder then turned back to Josie, her voice lowered, her expression full of mischief. “So are you going to bury me in work, or do I get to hear all the dirty details about your time in Arizona?”
Josie’s smile slipped, and even though she recovered quickly, Madison noticed. “No work. I thought we could grab some lunch.”
“One of these days you’ll admit you can’t hide things from me. Something happened. It’s written all over your face.”
Josie shook her head. “Arizona was great. I promise.”
“Then what is it? What’s got you looking like someone killed your cat?”
“I don’t have a cat.”
“Okay, then stop looking like someone cut up your fashion magazines.”
Josie gasped and clutched her chest dramatically. “Do not say such things. The mental image alone makes me want to go fetal.”
Madison laughed and hugged Josie. “I missed you.”
“Me too.”
Pulling away, Madison tugged on Josie’s arm and led her out of the room. “But don’t think I’m going to let this go,” she said in a singsong voice.
“Of course you’re not.” Josie smiled, resigned and relieved all at once.
“I need to grab my bag. I left it over by the set. Come on, it’ll just take a second.”
Josie swore under her breath but nodded and followed Madison. Anders and Aubrey would be shooting their scenes together, and after witnessing their encounter earlier, she wasn’t sure she could stomach it. As soon as they rounded the corner, her fears were confirmed.
The director stood in front of them, gesturing wildly as he explained how he wanted the scene to play out. Anders’ brows were furrowed, his eyes intense, as he focused on the director. It was Aubrey who made Josie’s stomach twist. She stood pressed against Anders’ side, her hand draped over his forearm and her attention focused completely on him.
Like he could feel her in the room, Anders’ head snapped up and his eyes locked with Josie’s. She froze, trapped in the intensity of his gaze, her limbs heavy as her heart tried to take flight from her chest.
“Josie,” Madison whispered. She grabbed Josie’s arm and gave a slight squeeze. “You ready?”
Josie looked away from Anders and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Anders flexed his hand into a fist as he watched her leave. Slight pressure on his arm caused his gaze to drift down and then to Aubrey. She wasn’t looking at Anders, though. Her gaze followed Josie and Madison as they left. Anders tried to keep his cool, but paranoia caused his anxiety to spike.
Pulling his arm free, he slid it around Aubrey’s waist and pressed his fingers into her hip. “We’ve got this, don’t we, Aubrey?” He gave her a charming smile―the one he used when he wanted to get his way―that no woman could resist. No one except Josie, but he couldn’t think about her. He needed to keep his head in the game.
“We’re going to blow their minds.”
The director smiled and sent everyone to their places. As promised, Anders and Aubrey blew everyone’s minds. Anders shut down and lost himself in his role. He wasn’t plagued with thoughts about costars, wounded expressions, or the clenching of his gut. Instead he became someone else. When he kissed Aubrey, when he touched her, Anders was nowhere to be found.
Josie pulled into the parking lot of Holden’s restaurant and killed the engine. The conversation between her and Madison had been superficial and easy. They didn’t talk about what happened at the studio or why Josie looked sick, but the reprieve wouldn’t last. Madison had no intention of allowing Josie to bottle up whatever was going on inside her head.
“Just because we’re eating here doesn’t mean I’m not about to ask you a million questions. Holden is busy. We’ll still be alone.”
With a tight smile, Josie stepped out of the car. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Once seated and their food ordered, Josie unloaded. She told Madison about Arizona―how strained things were in the beginning, how different Anders was without his walls erected, and how it terrified her to think about it all blowing up in her face.
Madison listened patiently, but her heart fluttered with nerves and her stomach sank with dread as she watched a million emotions play across Josie’s face. “It’s going to be okay. Just give it some time. He’s never done this. You guys are both finding your way.”
“But he has. Why else would he be the way he is? Someone burned him.”
“Why don’t you look it up? See what past relationships he’s had.”
Josie blew out a breath and shook her head. “I never realized how different their lives are from ours. We work with actors every day. We see their lives dissected on the news and in magazines all the time. But there’s so much we don’t know, so much that’s complete bullshit. I could look it up, but Maddie, if I want the truth, it’s going to have to come from hi
m.”
“Pictures don’t lie.”
“But they can be taken out of context.” Josie thought about the fan picture that led her to believe Anders had been on a date. “I can’t do it. I’ll have more questions than answers. I have a hard enough time dealing with what I see now, trying to work out what’s real and what isn’t. Also, I don’t trust him to be honest.”
Madison furrowed her brows. “You don’t trust him. You have to keep your relationship a secret. And from the way it sounds, both of you have one foot out the door. I guess I just don’t understand why you’re together. What do you want from this?”
“That”―Josie sighed, lifting her drink―“is the million dollar question.” They spent the remainder of lunch talking about Holden and his restaurant search, anything to keep her mind off Anders and Aubrey. When she stepped inside her house, however, everything came rushing back.
The moment Anders escaped Aubrey, he called Josie. He hated the feeling of uncertainty that seemed to lie over him like a blanket, stifling the air and making it difficult to breathe. He wondered if he should just end things. He wasn’t delusional about how things would play out. They were in the home stretch, the second half, the last quarter. Their game was almost over. He felt it in every inch of his body. Yet when Josie’s voice sounded in his ear, all rational thought disappeared.
“Hey.”
That was all it took. One word from her and his chest constricted, trapping the air in his lungs and burning him from the inside out. She was going to ruin him. No matter how much he wanted to push her away, he just couldn’t do it.
“I’m coming over.”
Josie blinked at his forceful tone. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Josie opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she realized he’d already hung up. Pouring a glass of water, she settled on her couch and waited. The minutes ticked by, each one making her more and more uneasy. She wanted to talk to him about earlier, but if he was as agitated as he sounded, it would lead to a fight. She set her glass on the table when she heard footsteps on the front porch.
Opening the door, she grimaced. He looked as agitated as he sounded. “What’s going on?”
“I told you I wanted to see you tonight. What do you mean, what’s going on? Did you change your mind?” Anders clenched his jaw as he stared at a shocked Josie.
“What’s the matter with you? If anyone should be pissed, it’s me.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew things were about to get ugly. She didn’t want to fight, but she wasn’t going to let him act like a dick.
“Is that a fact?” Anders’ laugh was abrupt and harsh. “Tell me, Ivy. What is it that you have to be pissed about?”
“Because Aubrey molested you right in front of me and you did nothing to stop her.” Josie balled her hands, her anger and confusion rushing back full force.
“You make it sound like I asked for that. I didn’t do shit to make her act that way.”
“Bullshit. Everything you’ve done for God knows how long has made people assume it’s acceptable to act the way she did. Tell me, if you and I weren’t together, are you saying you wouldn’t have fucked her before the assistant director yelled take one?”
Anders’ heart thundered in his chest, and when he spoke, his words were low and strained. “But we are together. I wouldn’t do that. I won’t apologize for my past, and you can’t hold it against me. It’s completely fucking unfair.”
“So if some random guy kissed me in front of you, that’d be okay? Because I can’t control what other people do, right?”
“Goddamn it, Ivy. Are you trying to piss me off? Because it’s fucking working.”
“You came here looking for a fight! I don’t know who set you off, but you’re not going to dump your shit on me. Not like that.”
The truth was, the only person he was angry with was himself. The realization drained the fight from his body. His shoulders slumped and his eyes drifted shut. “I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry about Aubrey. She’s going to be...difficult.”
“Yes, I got that impression when she kissed you then talked about dirty sex scenes.”
“C’mere.” Anders moved until he was in front of Josie and wrapped his arms around her waist. Tugging gently, he walked them to her couch and fell onto it, pulling Josie with him.
“This is hard for me. I…I’ve never had to deal with anything like this. Seeing her touch you like she did, in ways that I can’t… I hated it.”
Anders nodded, relieved that the fight seemed to have left her too. She sounded genuinely upset, and as messed up as it might be, it made him feel better. “I’ll handle Aubrey. You just have to trust me. Okay?”
All Josie could muster was a nod. Trusting him was easier said than done, especially since his trust in her was superficial. It was for show and skimmed the top, a Band-Aid to cover whatever secrets lay hidden just below the surface. Cracks and holes littered the foundation of their fragile relationship, fault lines that shook with the slightest bit of pressure.
The next couple of weeks passed with little fanfare. Josie and Anders saw each other less and less on set, preferring to spend their free time together after work without fear of being watched. Anders was content. He was in control.
Josie, however, was not. Each day she felt more cagy, the feeling of being a dirty secret nagging at her. She wanted to go to the movies or out to dinner. It had nothing to do with showing him off. She wanted a semblance of normalcy, to experience things with Anders. She wanted to experience life.
Another thing Josie discovered was that she hated Aubrey Nash with unbridled rage. Every chance Aubrey had, she was all over Anders. Even though Anders did as he promised, keeping their interactions limited to filming, she was relentless. Which was why Josie wasn’t surprised by the magazine cover Anders tossed on her desk.
“Can you believe this shit?” Anders chuckled, his eyes darting to the hall then back to Josie.
She picked up the magazine and stared at the cover, her fingers tightening around the edges. “Hot on-screen chemistry leads to off-camera romance. Aubrey Nash takes role of leading lady both on and off the screen.” Josie’s voice was monotone, devoid of emotion, but on the inside she was anything but. Anger, jealousy, and hurt twisted inside her chest.
“What’s the matter with you? You know this is all bullshit, right?” Anders wrapped his hands around the back of the chair across from Josie, a small smirk on his lips as he tried to hide the unease her demeanor caused. He expected more of a reaction. She seemed unaffected, and it pissed him off.
“What do you want me to say? You want me―” She stopped speaking when Anders’ phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket and blew out an exasperated breath when he saw Nathan’s name light up the screen.
“What?” There was no point in ignoring Nathan. He’d continue to call until Anders answered.
“One day you’re going to answer the phone like a normal person. Obviously today is not that day.”
“Yes, I’m an asshole. Alert the press. At least if they printed that, it would be the truth.”
“Ah, so you’ve seen the magazine. That explains your sunny disposition.”
Anders clenched his jaw. “Nathan.”
“Okay, okay. Clarence wants to meet with you.”
“Why didn’t he call me himself?”
“Are you joking? You’re not the easiest person to talk to on a good day. Considering what came out today, he figured you might be...testy.”
“What does he want? I don’t have time for this bullshit.” Anders flicked his eyes to Josie, who wasn’t even looking at him. She’d tossed the magazine to the side and was furiously dragging her pencil across the pad in front of her. He snapped his fingers and waved his hand in the air until she looked up. “What are you doing?” he mouthed, annoyance clear in his features as he pointed to the drawing. He was being irrational, but it bothered him that she didn’t seem concer
ned with his conversation or the magazine she’d discarded.
“Working,” she drawled, the expression on her face meant to make him feel stupid.
The sound of Nathan’s voice stopped Anders from responding. “He’d like to speak with you. He’s waiting in his office.”
“He wants me to come now?”
“So it would seem. Try to be civil. I realize this can be difficult for you.”
Anders didn’t bother to respond. He ended the call and shoved his phone in his pocket. He stared at Josie, waiting for her to look up, waiting for a reaction, waiting for something.
“You have to go.” It wasn’t a question. Contrary to what Anders believed, Josie was listening.
“Clarence wants to see me.” Anders pulled in a deep breath, prepared to leave without another word but stopped. “You’re not mad at me about this are you?” His words came out in a rush, the slight edge to his voice caused Josie to startle.
She dropped her pencil and sighed. Pressing the tips of her fingers into her temples, she shook her head. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just frustrated. I kind of hate her, Anders.”
Anders looked over his shoulder, hesitating for a moment before pulling her into the office behind her cubicle and locking the door. Ignoring her protests, he pushed her into the closest chair and crouched in front her. “Ivy, hey. Look at me.” He planted his hands on the tops of her thighs, his voice softer when he spoke again. “I’m doing my best here. I know that’s not saying much, but I’m trying. I don’t want her. I just want to be with you, okay?”
“I just wish we could be normal sometimes.”
Anders’ jaw clenched. “I can’t give you normal.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Anders gripped her a little tighter, hating the sudden pressure sitting on his chest. “We’ve talked about this.”
“And yet I still don’t know why.”